Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.
A/n: This is a series of oneshots. Each oneshot features, in order, a person from the character list on this site as well as a few i felt should be there (Boggs, Coin, Caesar, Cashmere, Gloss, and Marvel) each with a randomly picked prompt (or as random as i could manage without throwing actual darts at my poor old dictionary!). Updates will be one a day (hopefully) though when i go back to uni, this might change. Anyway, i hope you enjoy! As always, any criticism, just shout it out. Any advice on law, shout it out louder!
On a side-note, if anyone is any good at hitchhiking and wants to share their secrets with me, i'd appreciate it. I've decided to get around by hitchhiking in future.
9) Chaff – Maggot
It takes a lot to bring a man out of a self-induced drunken stupor – almost as much as it takes to get said man in a drunken stupor. Chaff had known that drinking that amount was a stupid idea but he did it anyway. Every day of the Hunger Games since Radu had been killed. Another death which he couldn't stop.
But drinking on the train back to District 11 was unforgiveable. Seeder took away his bottles after an hour or so. That was unforgiveable too but she, at least, had a good reason for doing it. By the time they arrived, he had sobered up enough to be tipsy only. Better than anyone could have hoped for.
The exit into District 11 was always painful. How exactly does one face the family of someone you were supposed to save and say 'Sorry. Sorry, I tried but I couldn't do it and now I have to pretend it was for some greater good'? It was never something Chaff had mastered. But, usually, he had the grace to face it stone-cold sober. Not today. Because, usually, it wasn't his miscalling the depth of an injury which killed the tribute.
The families were waiting there, of course. Seeder led the way because people were less likely to lynch her – Sorina had been killed in the opening bloodbath which was something Seeder couldn't have prevented. But when Chaff stepped onto that platform, he could already see the accusing glares. Oh, not everybody in the crowd. There were those who could sympathise with the immense pressure he had been under. Those who thought maybe he had had no money. Even members of Radu's family seemed understanding.
But there were glares there.
As per usual, he made his way to the grieving family, to apologise for their loss. All the while that he spoke, he wanted to say more – to apologise for his own stupidity. But mentors never did that. And the family simply thanked him for trying. Except for Radu's little sister.
"You're drunk," she announced. "I can smell it. Is that why Radu's dead?" No answer. "You're a ... you're a ... you're a maggot!"
"Hush, dear," someone – the mother – said and pulled her away. But now the accusing glares really set in. He wanted to call after her and tell her that her daughter was right. He was a maggot. Or lower. Much lower. It was all his fault. Not what the district believed. They'd had money for bandages. It was his own stupidity.
But maggots don't shout out their guilt.
Chaff and Seeder made their way to the Victors' village, neither saying a word until they reached Chaff's door.
"Goodbye, Chaff," Seeder said.
He looked at her.
"I messed up," he answered.
"I know." Silence. "Everyone makes mistakes, Chaff. Don't wallow in guilt."
"Simple mistakes don't end in someone's death."
"Sometimes, they do. You'll remember in future."
There was nothing to say to that. So he went inside to drink this memory away. Try to forget how he had messed up so he could live with himself. Even though Seeder had told him to remember it.
He paused as he looked at the bottle in his hand. A maggot would drink it and force himself to forget the mistake he had made. A human would stay sober that night and force himself to remember the mistake he had made. After all; maggots have short memories and rarely feel guilty. Humans don't.
What should he do? Live in guilt or live in innocence? Learn and have another death on his conscience or forget and maybe have some moments of happiness in his future? Move the bottle up to his mouth or down upon the table.
He thought it through. Slowly, he began to move the bottle.