Title: Red Window

Author: Shannon – shannyfish

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

Rating: R (to be safe)

Summary: Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

Warning: adult themes

Chapter 16 – "Merry Christmas, Katie"

Author's Note: Happy Winter Solstice! :D Sorry I didn't get to respond to reviews today ~_^ I normally try to, but the internet at Denver Airport was being really annoying…that and they decided to play musical terminals with my flight! Thanks Jisbon4ever for catching my typo!

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." – Richard L. Evans

Ketchum, ID

Lisbon stared in the bathroom mirror for a long while. Her nose had stopped bleeding around five in the morning. Now at eight, Kaydance was bouncing to open presents. She'd already screamed after seeing the puppy. Simon had said that she needed to wait to open presents until everyone was dressed and together. So, everyone was getting dressed. She had thought about putting on make up to try and attempt to cover the bruise that covered right below both of her eyes and her nose, but she had decided against it and had just told Kaydance her cover story. The little girl had suggested that she be careful and carry a flashlight around the house when it was dark.

It hurt, though. She tried not to touch it, but even the slightest touch made her feel like crying. But she was determined to get through presents at the very least. Kaydance had been so excited when she'd seen the tree and the presents and the puppy. Lisbon had felt no pain in that moment and had almost forgotten everything. Almost.

He'd gone out and bought them special dresses. They were both an iridescent green color. Kaydance's had a black velvet top but the skirt that started at the empire waistline was the green color. Lisbon's on the other hand hugged her body and didn't have any accents on it. She didn't want to wear it, but had. She wasn't going to upset Kaydance on Christmas.

This was so fake. It was almost laughable at how fake it felt. But she sat on the couch with Simon and watched Kaydance on the floor with the puppy. They seemed to hit it off just great, but Kaydance hadn't decided on a name for the pup yet.

Other presents were opened and Kaydance was delighted at all her gifts. Simon had gone out and bought her new DVDs, a doll, art supplies, books, and a couple of board games. With every gift she was more excited and happier.

"You still need to name your puppy," Simon said.

"I'm thinking about it," Kaydance told him with a smile.

Lisbon watched as Kaydance scooped up the puppy and held it in her arms like a little baby and rocked it. "She's such a good puppy." She loved how Kaydance just shone with happiness, it gave her some solace. Even though she had desperately wanted to get them both home for Christmas, it made her feel better that at least it would be a happy memory for her and that she was still able to celebrate Christmas.

The last thing that she wanted was to have her completely traumatized. Lisbon was okay with being the one that was traumatized and undergoing all the worry and stress.

Simon went to the kitchen and started breakfast. Apparently he'd gotten up early enough to do all the food prep for the dinner. They were supposed to be having ham and a bunch of side dishes. At least it would keep him busy for a little while longer, that gave her some comfort. She'd been trying to distance herself from Simon all morning and had tried to not talk to him.

So, she sat on the couch and watched Kaydance play with her puppy while Simon worked in the kitchen. "She's really pretty," Lisbon said. "Have you thought of a name yet?"

"No," Kaydance said quietly.

"How about…" Lisbon said as she thought for a moment. "How about Jane?"

"I like Jane."

Lisbon smiled. "She's certainly a sweetheart."

It still surprised her as to how well behaved the puppy was. That was good though and Kaydance seemed genuinely happy about it. She wasn't sure if it was the puppy that she would have chosen, but so far they seemed like a good fit.

"Daddy!" Kaydance said lifting up the puppy. "I'm going to name her Jane!" she said as she headed for the kitchen.

Lisbon turned to watch them. She would intervene if there was any need to do so. She didn't know if Simon knew who Patrick Jane was. Yes, he was obviously one of Red John's guys, but that didn't mean that they all knew who Patrick Jane was or how he fit into things.

"That's a great name!" Simon told her and then bent down and kissed her forehead. "Merry Christmas, Katie."

Kaydance turned; her face was lit up as she bounced back over with the puppy in her arms. "Mommy, can we go outside with Jane and play in the snow?"

"We're not dressed for snow," Lisbon said knowing that Simon would not be happy if they changed. It would ruin his perfect day.

"We could change."

"Tomorrow," she promised. "Tomorrow we can play in the snow all day. We'll make snow people and have snowball fights and everything, okay?" When Kaydance didn't speak up right away, she looked towards Simon. "You wouldn't happen to have a sled or a disk?"

"For the snow?" he asked.

Lisbon nodded.

"In the garage I think we have some stuff."

She turned back to Kaydance. "See. Tomorrow we'll have an all-day snow day. All of us."

"Okay…" she said slowly with slight disappointment in her tone. "I'm going to go show Jane my room!" Kaydance said before disappearing with the dog.

…

After breakfast, she kept waiting. She hated it. But she waited just the same for the event that she knew was coming, but that she desperately didn't want to endure. They'd turned on a Christmas special and had been watching it when Simon asked her to go with him. They told Kaydance to stay right where she was with the puppy and that they'd be back. Kaydance didn't seem to mind.

"Simon," she said quietly as he pulled her by her hand into his bedroom. He closed the bedroom and moved towards an armoire that was in the room. He opened the doors and instead of a television being in there was a box, it was about twice the size of a shoebox and had a rose print on it. He didn't speak. Lisbon watched from the door as he removed the box and then set it on his made bed. He removed the lid and she could see pictures inside.

"My first wife," he said as he pulled out a picture to look at it. "She was always so happy… She loved it here," he said as he stared at the pictures.

Lisbon was taking this as a good sign. Maybe he'd changed his mind. She could try to use this to her advantage. She took a step forward so that she could take in the picture. The woman had similarities to her. She had dark hair and light eyes. Lisbon wondered if that was part of the reason she was there. She looked like his late wife. "What's her name?"

"Aimee…" Simon responded.

"How did she die?"

"She was coming back from a doctor's appointment. Someone ran her off the road and then cut her open," Simon said. "She was six months pregnant at the time. We were to have a daughter…"

Things were falling into the place. This was why she and Kaydance were there. "You said before that you'd been here for five years alone…is that how long it's been?"

Simon nodded slowly. "I didn't want to live without her."

"You know that I'm not her… I'm not Aimee…"

Simon nodded slowly again. "I know," he said sadly and looked up at her. "And I know that Katie isn't my child that I never had… Aimee had always wanted to call her Dahlia." He put the pictures back and closed back up the box and returned it to its spot. "But you and Katie are my family now…which is why it's so important that you accept things… I don't want to hurt you, Teresa… I don't want to pump you full of drugs. I just want to love you," he said as he closed the doors and then turned around towards her.

Lisbon thought of things that she wanted to say, but bit her tongue. Simon would likely only be enraged by her comments. "Simon," she said, trying to stay calm. "Did Red John tell you anything about me?"

"I know that you were in charge of your unit. I thought that was quite impressive," Simon told her. "But that's all I know."

"I was raised in Chicago. I have three brothers…" Lisbon started to tell him. "My mother died when I was twelve and I had to raise my brothers because my father was too drunk to do it. I worked hard to get where I was in the CBI. There's a reason why I'm not married…why I don't have a child…"

"You have us now," Simon said.

Lisbon shook her head. "You don't understand, Simon. I was a mother already…to my brothers. I'm not ready to settle down…I'm not easy to get along with… And even if I felt like I was ready, I would probably take three steps back…just because the world is so screwed up. I've seen how ugly the world is and I've seen Red John's contributions to it. I know what he's done to women… Did you know that he killed a mother and her daughter? Do you really know what he does to people?"

"Only to those who deserve it."

"Are you going to tell me that you're condoning his killing of an innocent child?" Lisbon asked. She knew that for adults, things could be reasoned. But for a child? A little girl? She was an innocent. Jane's daughter had barely had time to live.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"It scares me, Simon…" she told him. "It scares me to know that that evil exists in this world and that he'd hurt anyone… A mother and her child…" Lisbon remembered waking up to the smiley face on her wall and she had to admit that it had been unsettling at first. She didn't know how Jane woke up to that fierce reminder everyday.

"You don't have to be afraid of Red John."

"Well, I am… Afraid of what he may do if I anger him…or what he may do to Katie…"

Simon shook his head. "You don't have to be afraid."

"But I am," Lisbon told him. "Of Red John and of you…"

"Of me?" Simon asked.

She could see the look of shock on his face. He hadn't expected that. Lisbon knew that it could have angered him, but more than anything, she hoped that what she was saying made him think. She could only hope that he'd think about it all. "You get angry, Simon… You're controlling and protective…" She looked down and spoke softly. "And I don't want to be here…"

"I'm just trying to keep you and Katie safe, Teresa," Simon said as he took a step towards her.

"Do you think this makes me happy?" she asked quietly, looking up at him. "I have to stay here all day. I have Katie all day. I'm not allowed to leave. I'm a prisoner. Katie and I both are. She needs to go to school and have friends. I need to do something and have friends. Katie may be happy now, Simon, but that won't last forever… You need to think about that."

"We all have each other-"

"That's not enough…"

"It could be."

Lisbon shook her head.

"If I let you both leave, you'd go back to California…"

"Most likely I'd find a way, yes," she admitted. "But could you blame us? That's where our family is…"

"You said you grew up in Chicago, isn't your family there?"

Lisbon frowned. "I have a family in California too. My team is my family. We look out for each other. I'd die for any of them."

"Your friend, Patrick Jane. He's the one who told Red John that he could have you…that I could have you."

"To save my life…" Lisbon took a step towards him. "If roles were reversed and Jane held my wife in his hands and he asked you what Red John had asked him. Would you have let me die or would you let Jane take me if it meant that I lived?"

Simon frowned. "I'd want you to live."

"I'm not happy, Simon," she said. "So…maybe you're going to have to medicate me if you insist on keeping me as part of your farce."

She watched him. He looked confused and torn. Lisbon was happy that at least he was showing another emotion…something that wasn't anger. Something that made her hope more for him to think things through and possibly let them go. Perhaps this could be her Christmas miracle. She just waited and watched him.

"No," he said. "You're going to be happy…you just need more time. You need to try to love me, Teresa… You need to accept that this is your home now."

"I can't…"

"You will."

…

TBC…