Title: Red Window

Author: Shannon – shannyfish

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

Rating: R (to be safe)

Summary: Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

Warning: adult themes

Chapter 18 – "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Callahan

Author's Note:

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." – Eleanor Roosevelt

Ketchum, ID

Fear coursed through her. Simon had told her to stay in the room while he went and instructed Kaydance not to move. Lisbon had been feeling like her strength, faith, courage, and hope were all wavering the last few days…like she was weakening…she wasn't sure if she could go through with this. She knew that it was important in order to keep them safe, but it was still rape. It was still Simon violating her in the most intimate way.

Tears welled up in her eyes and her chest started to hurt as she struggled to breathe evenly. She knew that Simon wouldn't care if she was upset. He'd made that quite clear. He believed that he was protecting them…that she would eventually love him as he loved her. Lisbon would rather die.

But she had to do it.

She had to do it to keep Kaydance safe.

She had to do it to keep herself alive.

The tears released and streamed down her face. Why weren't they there? Where was Jane? She'd given them clues. Hadn't they received them? Hadn't they understood them? Weren't they looking for her? Didn't they realize how much time had passed? Had they given up?

Simon returned and she just kept her gaze down and remained still. He moved towards her and ran his hand along her arm. He kissed her forehead and then her cheek. Lisbon felt sick. She felt like she could throw up right now. She breathed through it. Thoughts ran through her head. Thoughts to try to help her get out of the situation. None of them seemed like they were one hundred percent effective. There were too many unknowns.

"I could give you something to relax you, Teresa," he whispered.

It was tempting.

He probably had something that would make her blackout. That was really tempting. If there was ever a time where she could choose to forget a moment in time, this was it. But at the same time, she didn't know if she'd hate herself for blacking out either. Kaydance was still in the house. She was close by, what if she needed to be conscious?

"No…" she whispered.

"Just a little something," he said. "Just enough so you're not so tense."

She watched as he moved to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He removed a small box, which he opened. She didn't want to be foggy. She wanted to have a clear head. Lisbon just waited. Simon was going to do what he was going to do. She knew that. There wasn't too much she could do about it.

He turned around and brought the syringe to her and then he leaned in and kissed her. "I know you're worried," he whispered. His free hand came up to her face and pushed back tendrils of dark hair. "This will make you feel better."

She tensed up, feeling his hand on her thigh as he pushed up the hem of her dress on one side. The prick of the needle soon followed. Lisbon stared at him and tried to remind herself that she had to do this, not for Simon but for Kaydance's well being. "I know," she whispered. And it was partly true. She didn't know what he was giving her, but she hoped that she wouldn't remember…and that she wouldn't be in pain. She wished to sleep.

Simon put the syringe securely away and then returned to her. "I know that you want to go back to your old life, Teresa." His voice was quiet and soothing. "But I can be a good husband to you, Teresa…you just need to accept things… Okay?"

It wasn't long before she felt her energy being zapped. She felt weak and like there was a possibility that she wouldn't be able to hold herself up. Lisbon hated to feel like she wasn't one hundred percent. She hated to be weak, to be vulnerable, and to be taken advantage of. She nodded a bit and just stared at Simon as she felt the affects of whatever he'd injected her with.

"You feel a bit more relaxed?" he asked.

She just nodded again. Her eyes felt heavy, but she wasn't tired. Her whole body felt like just lying down for the whole day. Her legs felt as if they weren't strong enough to hold herself up and she was afraid that she'd fall over. Her mind even felt a bit tired. Lisbon tilted her head a moment and then worked very hard on getting out what she wanted. "Simon…maybe-"

"Shhh…Teresa," he cut her off.

His hands were on her again, pulling her towards him. Lisbon had to admit that his hands felt good, like she was being supported. His mouth was on hers before she'd realized it. His hands roamed her body. She wanted to scream and cry…but she found only a tear rolling down her cheek. His mouth was on hers again and she could feel his hand at her back as he pulled down the zipper of the dress. She tried to push him away, but her efforts only ended up in her putting her hands against his chest.

The green dress fell to the floor and pooled around her feet. Simon pulled her closer, so that her skin was against his still clothed body. He swayed a bit with her in his arms. He kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Callahan."

It brought chills up her spin. Was this what she was going to have to live with? Being this fictitious person? Teresa Callahan? Loving wife to Simon and mother to Katie? She didn't know how he could live in this world of lies that he was building. It wasn't real. The sad thing she thought was that him holding her as he swayed made her feel so good, but Lisbon was blaming that on the drugs he'd pumped into her. She was weak and vulnerable and he was taking advantage of the state he'd put her in.

She found herself being laid down on the bed. He was being gentle with her and Lisbon thought that that almost made it worse as she lay there in simply her bra and panties. But the knowledge that now she wouldn't fall over because her legs couldn't support her was comforting.

"See…you're so much more relaxed now," Simon told her as he watched her for a minute. Though he didn't waste time as he started to undress himself.

This was going to be it. There was no getting around it. There was no running away or screaming. This was the event that she'd be fearing. She wanted so badly to be sick right there and then. She wanted to scream and cry and to fight.

There was no more fight left in her.

The only thing she could do now was to submit to Simon and do it as an act of protection for Kaydance. This wouldn't ruin her life, she could cope with this event…she could go to counseling…she was an adult and she'd make sure that this wasn't a defining moment of her life. Kaydance was still so young and though children were resilient, Lisbon preferred to shield her from the violence and anger that she knew Simon was capable of. Of what she knew Red John was capable of.

The image of the face on her bedroom wall flashed before her and she shivered at the thought. The thought of what Red John would do if Simon failed in making his little fantasy a reality. Yes, his fantasy was sick and twisted in a way, but all he wanted was what he'd lost. She could sympathize with him, but that didn't make it right. But it also meant that she had to suffer a bit more so that she and Kaydance wouldn't end up dead with the cutting markers of Red John. She wouldn't allow that. And she knew Red John was capable of killing an innocent, he'd done it to Jane's daughter.

Jane.

Tears flowed from her eyes as she thought about him. She squeezed her eyes shut. Why wasn't he there? Where was her team? Had she been forgotten? Lisbon knew how much time had passed and it scared her. Scared her to know that she may have to give in completely to Simon until he possibly trusted her enough to the point where she could escape with Kaydance. But how long would that take?

Months?

Years?

"Shh…" came his voice. "You don't have to be scared, Teresa… I'm not going to hurt you."

His voice was soothing and calming and yet she was mad at him for his tone. Lisbon didn't want this. She didn't want this and he knew it. It fit into his plan, but that didn't mean it was right. Before he'd told her that he wouldn't force her into anything…and here he was again trying to…and this time he'd promised to follow through.

"I love you," Simon told her.

Her tears were wiped away and her eyelids were kissed. His lips moved to her forehead and soon enough she swore he'd kissed every inch of her face. His forehead rested against hers and she coughed up a sob. She was pathetic and weak. Lisbon knew then that he'd already begun to break her. That wasn't her. She was so much stronger…

"Open your eyes."

She ignored him and kept them shut. She tried to hold back the next surfacing sob, but it broke through. Her body felt even more drained as she allowed her sobs to continue. Her face was kissed again.

"Open your eyes, Teresa," he said again; this time she knew his tone was sterner.

And so she opened them.

He was staring down at her. It didn't make her feel better. It made her even more terrified of what was going to happen. It made it an absolute reality.

"Please," she squeaked out.

"Shhh…"

Simon's hand swept back up to her face and pushed away all the tears that had been falling. He kissed her forehead again. His eyes were confusing as she attempted to read what was behind them. She could see what she thought was love, but then she could see worry and confusion there too. And she knew, that Simon was thinking about if what he was doing was right or wrong.

She wanted to scream that it was wrong.

But she had a feeling he already knew that.

Simon was sane enough to still know the difference between right and wrong…and so far he'd chosen wrong. Lisbon still believed that there might be a chance for him to choose right. She hoped and prayed that he did. For both of their sakes.

"You know I'm not going to hurt you. I love you," Simon told her. His hand caressing her cheek. "I can give you some more stuff if it's going to help you relax a bit more," he told her. "You just have to relax, Teresa, and remember that everything is going to be fine. This isn't going to be a bad experience unless you make it that."

No more drugs, she thought immediately. If he was going to give her more then perhaps he might have thought to give her Rohypnol.

"Do you want more?"

She shook her head. She didn't think that she could wake up and look in the mirror and accept that she may have lost several hours of her day because of it. She watched him, he was still deciding. Lisbon shivered a bit from the cold. Simon's body was close to hers, but their skin wasn't touching and she was lying there very close to being naked uncovered.

"You need to relax then," he said. "But I'm going to get some ready…just in case you want it."

He was gone from her side before she could respond. She didn't want more. But she watched as he filled up another syringe with a dosage. He capped it and then set it on the bedside table closest to her before slipping back so that he was next to her.

"Simon, please…" she tried again, just barely getting it out.

She would never take advantage of a nosey neighbor again. If they were in California in any place that was populated, she'd have been found the second day. She'd have been able to scream or slip a note out or just be seen. She was sure her face had been all over the media when she'd first gone missing.

"Shhh… Relax, Teresa… Just relax."

His lips were on her again and his body pressed against her.

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes and she tried to focus on the ceiling. She tried to push out the thoughts of him touching her and how even though the touch of his skin on hers warmed it, it made her sick at the same time. She tried to think of being somewhere safe. Somewhere far away.

…

TBC…