Title: Red Window
Author: Shannon – shannyfish
Disclaimer: I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.
Rating: R (to be safe)
Summary: Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.
Warning: adult themes
Chapter 20 – "A Christmas Miracle"
Author's Note: Happy Christmas Eve!
Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H
(take out the spaces for )
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"When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That's the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly."
– Dr. Jack Hodgins ("The End in the Beginning" – Bones)
Ketchum, ID
"Shh…"
Lisbon was so sick of him trying to get her to calm down. She'd tried. It wasn't possible. There was no way she could be completely calm in this situation. A situation she didn't want to be in. She wasn't loud, she knew she was quiet, there was no way that anyone who was standing on the other side of the door could hear her. No way that Kaydance would hear her cries. With the television on, it would muffle even louder cries. She sucked in breath and turned her face away from him.
"Come on, Teresa," he cooed. Simon moved her face so that she was looking at him again. "I told you, you need to relax. Everything's going to be just fine. You just have to relax and let everything go."
She could feel him pressing against her along her body. There was softness and there was hardness. He was rubbing against her leg and she desperately wanted to knee him. She knew though that that wouldn't go over well. For either of them. And there was no way she could get away or defend herself in the sad state she was in. She moved her legs, trying to move herself away from him, but his body kept pressing against her.
Reality was quickly setting in, this was it. This really was it. She needed to accept it. She had agreed to it. She'd told herself that she could do it even though she didn't think she could. She had to go through with it. She had to do it…and eventually it would pay off when Simon trusted her enough to allow her more freedom. Lisbon wondered if this was one of those instances where women using their bodies for sex could really sway a man in their favor. She didn't need much leeway, just enough to get away and take Kaydance with her before Simon could catch them or hurt them.
He leaned in closer to her face and kissed her and forced her into deepening it. She tried to cooperate, to go along with it…for her own sake…but she couldn't bring herself to it. She felt his hand along the side of her thigh, at her knee and moving upward in a slow caress. Lisbon stopped breathing for a moment and then allowed the sob to rise up in her throat. Tears escaped her eyes again. His hand moved her leg out so that his body could move into the empty space. She felt his hands on the waist of her panties and she squeezed her eyes shut.
Make it stop, she thought.
Make it stop.
Don't touch me.
Leave me alone.
Go away.
Stop it.
No.
No.
No.
There was a loud crash and then all of a sudden the weight was pulled off of her, but all around her was filled with a thundering of sound. A mixed sound, dozens of voices. She didn't dare open her eyes. No, it was a dream. She had obviously passed out or was good enough at trying to push out what was happening that she was dreaming. It was a good dream. She'd heard both "FBI" and "CBI" yelled.
"Let me go!" Simon yelled.
She couldn't open her eyes though. Lisbon was too terrified that it would all melt away and she'd wake to Simon on her and inside of her and all over her…his hands on her and his lips. She didn't want that reality. She wanted safety. She wanted to go home.
"Lisbon."
"Leave my wife alone!" Simon continued to yell.
Jane. She knew the voice, but she didn't open her eyes. She couldn't. Fresh tears continued to flow down her cheeks. She felt herself being covered up and someone being close to her. She let out a sob.
"You can open your eyes," he whispered.
His voice was so beautiful and so welcoming. But she still couldn't bring herself to opening her eyes. She couldn't do it. Not when she would go back to the nightmarish reality with Simon. She'd rather just hear the hallucination.
"He gave her Atvian," a man said.
Lisbon didn't recognize the voice and tilted her head slightly.
"Not sure how much he gave her," the voice continued.
"The EMTs are coming up to us," Rigsby said.
"Clear the room!" Jane said.
"Let me go! She's my wife!" Simon yelled.
There was silence for a moment and then she heard shuffling. The door closed and she sucked in breath. She didn't know whether to be scared or relieved. Jane was still there though, she could sense him. She sniffled a bit as she thought about how he'd be gone when she finally did open her eyes. There was no way that she could stay like that.
"You can open your eyes," Jane told her. "He's gone. The FBI's got him. Cho and Rigsby are making sure that he gets to their vehicle for transport. He can't hurt you anymore."
"I wish I knew you were real," she finally blurted out and started to cry in full force. Her chest hurt. She found herself opening her eyes without meaning to. She just stared at him through her blurred vision. He was there. She could see him. Lisbon carefully reached out to touch him. He felt solid enough. "Jane?" she whispered barely audible.
"I'm here…"
She sniffled and tried to wipe her face. She felt a bit more lucid, but still sluggish. Words felt easier, but she didn't know if that was just because for the first time in so long…she felt relief and happiness wash over her. "You're late," she told him as she continued to use her hand to wipe her face. She felt silly crying like that. She knew she had to look like hell. She didn't like people seeing her like that. Vulnerable. Weak. Exposed. She was supposed to be strong.
He smiled at her, but he seemed sad. "I know," he said quietly. His voice broke, she didn't miss it. "I'm sorry…" And then he was crying too. "I'm so sorry…" His head bowed and his hands held one of hers tightly. He squeezed it with every sob. "Forgive me…" he whispered and then looked back up at her.
She just stared at him for a long moment. She was trying to process what he was saying. Processing everything that had happened. She tried to sit up and then remembered as the sheet that he had covered her with began to slide down that she was practically naked. She held it up to her neck and stared at him. Lisbon still felt the affects of the drugs in her system. She hated that feeling.
"Why would I need to forgive you?" she asked. "You haven't done anything wrong."
"Lis-Teresa…it's my fault… All of this," he continued. Tears still fell from his eyes. "I told Red John to take you… I'm the reason why he's come after you in the first place. I will leave and never come near you again if you ask me. I'll understand and respect that…"
She shook her head as she tried to find the words. "No…no I don't want you to go… Jane, we're a family…you were trying to protect me. To save me. You made a hard choice. I don't blame you for any of this… I blame Red John…and Simon," she said as she swallowed hard. "Don't you leave…"
He smiled up at her. His smile was still sad. "Please, I need to know you forgive me…"
There was something in his eyes. She couldn't quite place it. It was like a mixture of everything in the world that hurt…everything that provoked a feeling of guilt and regret and sadness. It all floated in Patrick Jane's blue eyes. "I forgive you," she whispered. "Though you're still not to blame," she told him and reached out to touch his face.
There was a knock on the door. She moved her gaze towards it and found Van Pelt peeking in. Lisbon looked back to him and then suddenly realized that she'd heard Rigsby before and that Jane had mentioned Rigsby and Cho. Her team was all there. She hadn't seen them all, but they were there. They were there to take her home.
"Jane, the EMTs are here," Van Pelt said.
"I need clothes," Lisbon mumbled.
"I'll get you some," she said. "But they really want to look you over first."
Lisbon nodded. "Van Pelt? Can you do me a favor or two?"
"Of course."
"Can you gather up the gifts in the front room. The ones that Kaydance opened and put them together?" she asked. Her head was clearing a bit. Lisbon wondered if it was a temporary thing. If her system was pushing adrenaline through and giving her a moment of clarity. "Wait…Kaydance…she's okay right?" she asked as she turned to Jane. She hadn't heard the girl before and she hadn't seen her.
He nodded. "She's fine. We took her out and to safety before we came in for you."
Lisbon nodded and then turned back to Van Pelt. "She deserves to have some kind of happiness from this Christmas. And can you make sure that the puppy goes too?"
Then it hit her. The puppy. Kaydance. She felt the heavy reminder on her ankle. The underground fence. Kaydance could be throwing a fit and they wouldn't be wiser. "Simon has a key… It was around his neck…it releases the anklets on my ankle and Kaydance's. If we go past the underground fence at the property line it sends out a really big shock…"
"I'll be right back," Van Pelt said and then ran off.
Worry rose in her, but Lisbon knew that they would be okay. They'd be okay now. They were going home. They were saved. She looked over to Jane, she heard the EMTs enter but she ignored them. "Will you make sure that Kaydance gets a jacket? They probably didn't take a jacket for her…"
"I'll get it," Jane promised. He looked past her for a moment and then back to her. "I'm going to go just long enough to make sure that Grace gets that key and that the jacket gets to Kaydance. Are you going to be okay?"
"The dog has a shock collar on it too," Lisbon said. She felt tired again. Her eyes felt heavy. She held onto his hand and honestly didn't want to let him go.
"I won't be far…" he said quietly. "Let them look you over, Teresa…" he whispered.
She nodded a weak nod. He moved away from her and she reluctantly gave up his hand. The EMTs descended and she faded away into the darkness.
…
TBC…