Note: Thank you so much for the feedback thus far! I realize this story might not be everyone's cup of tea, but the muse has struck and I am going with it! I'll be upping the angst-o-meter a little for the next few bits, but I promise you a happy-ish ending :) Thanks for reading.

Part 3

In the car, she finally talks to him.

"Coop?"

"Yes, baby."

"You want some truth?"

His eyes sharpen, and he nods, his hands waffling a little on the steering wheel.

"I'm not okay," she says. "I've been saying I am. But I am deeply not."

He gulps, nods, stops the car on the shoulder. Waits for her to finish.

"And I'm still not sure Sheldon's right that I should tell you. But what we're doing clearly isn't working, for either of us, and I can't have you yell again, Coop, I just can't have it."

"Baby, I'm so, so sorry about that."

"And I'm gonna do a big ask here. I'm gonna ask you to trust me. Trust me, Coop, that even if it takes awhile, I can come back from this. And promise me you won't leave me until I prove that, and it's done."

He frowns. "Is that what you're worried about? That I'll leave you?"

"Among many things I'm worrying about right now."

"Charlotte, I love you. I'm not..."

"No, you love her. From before. The me I was. You don't love this."

"Okay, fair enough. But I do trust you, like you said, that you'll come back from this. That you'll be stronger and better than before."

"And if I'm not?"

"Okay, can you handle a little truth from me?"

"Maybe not. But I'll try to. I have to."

"All right. If you're not, than I guess what I'm trying to do is have faith that you and I will have been on a journey together. And if we come out in a different place than we thought, it'll be okay because we'll have been through this profound experience and we'll find our place on the other end of it. I know things aren't the same, right now, as they used to be. And parts of it...parts of you...may change and be different. But underneath it all, the essential you is still you and that's the person I love."

"Nicely said."

"Thank you."

"I've never needed anyone before. And I've never been afraid before, either. I don't know what to do with it."

"And I don't know what to say about it. Charlotte, I so badly want to say the right things, the things that will make this hurt a little less for you. But I don't know what they are..."

"Yeah. So that's about where we're at, I guess."

"Yeah. I guess. Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Maybe."

"You said there are other things, things that are worrying you. Can you tell me? What some of them are?"

"Baby steps, Coop. It's enough, for right now."

"So, what do we do?"

"We go in to work forty-five minutes early tomorrow. We see Sheldon. Together."

"Okay."

"And sometimes, we talk about it. And sometimes, we don't. Coop, I'm trying to do what Sheldon says, let you see, let you help. But you have to let me choose sometimes, not to."

"Okay. Whatever you need."

"I miss my daddy. And I'm craving something I shouldn't be, right now."

"What can I DO?"

"You can stop asking me that. Just let me talk when I need to tell you. And let me not, when I don't. Look, just me take me home, will you? Just need to sit and be quiet for awhile. Can you just take me home?"

He starts the car again. He looks thoughtful. And sad. She doesn't like that much. A part of her thinks it would have been easier to just keep smiling, so she never has to see him look at her like that. But then, she remembers that if she doesn't play ball and she loses him, he'll never look at her at all.

They get home, and she's shaky. Her mouth is dry and her hand's been drumming on the seat these last few minutes. She's craving, and it feels like a cymbal in her veins that's loud enough you can feel the vibrations from the noise. Coop's watching her, that pitying, judgy watching that drives her up the wall, and she can't help snapping.

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like I'm a victim. Or a mental patient."

"You look pale. Twitchy."

"You look like I want to smack you so you'll stop staring at me this way."

He looks like he's about to say something. But he stops, takes a deep breath. Coaching from Sheldon, she guesses. "All right," he says. "You're not feeling very well."

"Gee, what gave it away?"

"So I am going to ignore the snarky comments and go make us some food. Would you like to take a bath, maybe?"

"I'm not gonna tell you what I'd like to do. You wouldn't like it."

He takes that deep, patient breath again. "Well, would you settle for not doing whatever it is? And maybe having a nice, relaxing bath instead?"

She supposes that's better than standing here and stewing in this and fighting with Coop while she does it. She runs the bath. She's just settled in when Big Daddy pops in again.

"Geez! Privacy!"

"Oh come on, little girl, I used to change your diapers."

"You did not. We had nannies for that."

"Well, I paid the nannies. So I did it by proxy. I'm your daddy, baby girl. And right now, you need me to keep an eye on you."

"You better behave yourself."

"Ah yes, you have to report this back to your little shrink friend. Well, all right. I won't scare you again."

"Why did you, the last time?"

"Cause I'm supposed to be saying what you're thinking but are too scared to say yourself?"

The tears come, before she can stop them.

"Hey, he says."

She sniffles, wipes her face on a towel. "I don't want to be a crazy person."

"Now, you listen. Crazy would be going on trying not to deal with this. Me, being here? That's you, working this through. It's gonna hurt, baby girl. But you have to do it."

"Don't seem fair, does it? It's over. It's over, but it's not."

"I know."

"They don't tell you that after it's done...that the after is almost as bad as the rest of it."

"I know it, baby girl. They don't tell you. It ain't fair."

"Do you think I'll be all right, Big Daddy? In the end, do you think I'll be?"

"I think you'll find your way again. Might be a softer, gentler way than what it was before. But it'll be a good way, baby girl, because your boy is right. This happened. But other things happened to. And those made you also. You're you, under this, because those other things, they made you too."

"I just want to cry for awhile."

"Then cry. And if I might make a suggestion?"

"What?"

"What Naomi did, when you saw her at the hospital? It helps sometimes. Cry. Then let him hug you, if he wants. Clothes on, no touching skin, if you have to do it that way. But let him hug you, baby girl. You need a hug."

She cries. Then ducks under the water, lets the steam soothe her puffy face. When she's ready, she comes out and there is food and wine and she's suddenly starving, and she's stuffing half a loaf of Italian into her mouth before she can stop herself, and Coop's just standing there, watching. She swallows, and then she's crying again, and then she looks up at him with eyes so desperate she sees his breath hitch.

"I need a hug," she tells him. And then he has his arms around her, and she collapses into them and weeps.