Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.
A/n: It's alright, i stopped trying to be philisophical. Please enjoy while i attempt to describe myself in 850 words (don't ask...)
39) Rue – Boundary
Rue darts through the forest, constantly watchin' for people. It looks stupid – my older sister, who I always thought was so big, is tiny in this arena. None of us 've said it but we're all surprised she's made it this long. Well, me, Mama, Papa and maybe Gidde are anyway. She told us all she'd come home so Veera and Raym believe her. Hafen's too little to know what's going on.
I think Gidde thinks that she's doin' so well that she's got to win now. Sometimes, I think that too. But when Rue's not here, I'm in charge so I got to think properly an' she can't win. Not unless Katniss protects her all the way through. I keep tellin' myself that but I can't make myself remember it.
We're squashed in this room, watchin' her on screen. Veera and Gidde are arguin' about something or other, not really payin' attention. Actually, I think Gidde is tryin' to watch but Veera isn't. Mama's tryin' to get them to hush an' I'm hoverin' an' Papa's checkin' on Hafen in the corner. An' that's when Raym yells.
"Rue!"
We all look back. She's in a net. My heart starts beatin' real fast 'cause if she's in a net, she can't get down an' that boy who made the net might come back an'...
I hug Raym and tell him it's gonna be OK to stop myself from finishin' that thought. I don't know if he can tell I'm lyin' but he nods anyway. Veera and Gidde stop arguin' and Mama holds Veera's hand. We're all silen'.
For the next few hours, we all keep watchin'. Rue's stopped tryin' to free herself 'cause it's impossible. She needs a knife an' she hasn't got one. Gidde and Veera start arguin' again but quietly and they always look back to the TV. Like they're too scared to really stop watchin' her.
It's funny: everyone always says that Rue's like a mockingjay. But it's not true. Mockingjays are free to go where they want to and Rue's never been free. Not really. We've always had some boundary keepin' us where we are. Even in the arena, she couldn't go out of the trees 'cause if she did, someone'd kill her. And now she's in this net. Course, Papa would say that mockingjays can be caught like this too but that's a one-time thing, right?
The screen's been showin' the boy from District 1 and Katniss for a while. When we see the boy come across Rue in the net an' she starts screaming for Katniss, I grab Raym an' cover his eyes. Gidde and Veera shut up. Katniss gets there just as the boy puts his spear through Rue.
My grip on Raym tightens an' he complains. Then he feels the tears fallin' off my face onto his head an' he shuts up again.
She's goin' to die.
My sister's goin' to die.
The room feels like it's comin' closer to me an' my breathin' feels funny like I'm not gettin' enough air. She can't be dyin'. I know I said she was goin' to die but I never meant it. She's not dyin'.
I look up and see that Katniss has killed the boy and is holdin' Rue. Not like I'm holdin' Raym – gentle, like. Like she's scared to make things worse.
"Sing," Rue whispers on screen. An' it's so much like Rue that I want to laugh but when I try, more tears fall out of my eyes an' I gulp for more oxygen like I'm sobbin' instead. Mama an' Papa are with Veera an' Gidde but Raym twists and hugs me. I don't know if he knows Rue's dyin'. I'm still not lettin' him see. She wouldn't want him to see her die. She wouldn't forgive me if I let him see that.
Katniss starts singin' in a voice which is almost as good as Mama's an' Rue's. I'm so caught up by it that Raym manages to break free halfway through. I make a grab back for him but he dodges and then sits by me, holdin' my hand and sobbin'. I don't try an' grab him back. I can't make myself move. I can only do these huge, gulpy breaths.
It's almost like a mockingjay, in a way, Rue gettin' Katniss to sing back for her. But isn't Rue the mockingjay here? Or is her gettin' caught just one boundary too many for her to be a proper one? Maybe Katniss is the real mockingjay after all.
An' then the song finishes an' that cannon fires. We're all silen'. 'Cept for the sobbin'. Everyone's cryin'.
"Papa," Veera whispers after a while, "why'd Rue die?"
I look at Papa. I wonder what he's gonna say. I wonder what the answer is.
"Because the Capitol made it so, Veera," he answers in a real quiet voice. "But every time you think of it, just think of this. You can't keep mockingjays, can you?"
"No, Papa."
"Course not. Mockingjays aren't meant to be trapped by human boundaries. They're meant to fly free. And that's what's happened here. Rue's free now – where no one can hurt her or starve her or anything."
"But I wanted her to live."
I expect somethin' else off Papa but he just nods. I realise that Papa don't know why she had to die either.
"She's free now, and happy," Mama whispers. "That's what's important."
"Wasn't she happy before?" Raym asks.
"Yes, son," Papa says, placin' his hand on Raym's shoulder. "But she wasn't free. And just like you have to let mockingjays go, we have to let Rue go."
"But-"
"Leave it, Veera," I say, now that I stopped gulpin'. "She's not meant to be dead. But she is. An' she's free. So we should be happy 'cause she's never gonna get caught again. That's what Papa's sayin'."
"I still wish she was alive," Veera mutters.
I scoop Veera into a hug. "So do I, Veera. So do I." Tears start fallin' down my face again. "But at least she ain't caught no more."