Anna POV

After brushing my teeth to get rid of the taste of my food I had thrown up, I looked in the mirror.
I stared at my reflection and it scared me. I remembered a girl who was confident and was the life and soul of a party, who was always flanked by her best friends. She was gone now and left behind, was an empty shell of who she used to be. There was no light in her eyes anymore.

"You lied to me," said Zack, as he came into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. His voice was relatively calm but I could hear the anger bubbling away underneath.

"You lied to me Anna," he repeated.

"I don't know what your talking about," I mumbled, confused. He couldn't know, could he? I've not given anything away, and it's not like anyone else knew...shit. Rian. Of course Rian would have told Zack. He's his best friend. God Anna you're so stupid!

Zack peered at me closely.

"You never did stop did you? I can't believe this! You looked me in the eyes and lied straight at me! I TRUSTED YOU!"

I didn't know what to say. I was so ashamed of myself I couldn't look in to his eyes, scared of what I would see.

"Anna, why do you do this? Why can't you do as I ask and stop? Can't you see what it's doing to you?"

"I can't stop," was all I could say.

"You're killing yourself! Look in the mirror, oh wait, there's nothing to see! I don't understand, I really don't! Your so skinny, you're skinnier than Jack and you're still making yourself sick!"
"Stop it," I whispered, tears starting to fall.

"Does Alex know?" he asked, calmer now than before.

I shook my head slightly.

"Do you want me to point him in the direction of your grave, when you one day fall down from starvation, dead?" he asked with furry in his voice, all traces of calm had evaporated.

"That's not fair, you know that's not gonna happen. I can't tell him, I can't tell anyone. You and Rian weren't even supposed to know! You don't understand," I yelled finally loosing my temper too.

"You're pretty okay? HAPPY NOW?" he roared over me. I could hear his voice echoing off the walls in the bathroom making me shiver, yet I wasn't cold. I was boiling, boiling with anger. Zack didn't understand how it felt to be me, if only he did.

"You know what, you will never understand. Never understand how it feels to be me. To have everything you ever loved snatched away from you and to be left out in the cold with nothing but painful memories.

"I CAN'T STOP! It's part of me now, it always will be, no matter what I do. You can't help me. And yeah, your right, I can't look in the mirror, because I can't face to see the cold, dark, empty, monster I've become. I can't stand to look in the mirror because what I see, disgusts me so much I hate myself," I screamed at him, tears cascading down my cheeks.

Zack was quiet for a while, he actually looked ashamed of himself for yelling.

"Then let me help you. Please, this time for real," he asked finally.

"You can't help me!" I yelled again.

"Why won't you let me in? I can help, but you need to let me in and not shut me out," he continued.

"I can't let you in, cause I'm so afraid that when I do, you'll get taken away from me too, like mom and dad. I can't afford to lose the last things I have, and I know I won't be able to cope," I shouted but ended, sobbing my heart out.

Zack closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me and held me to him.

I stood there crying when a knock at the door sounded and we heard a voice call out.

"Anna..Anna...you okay?"

Elbereth Amandil does not own All Time Low or any other name brand she uses in this story.

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