Part 5

She's better, when Sheldon comes back. Her breathing is calm again, and she's laying on her couch and playing Geography with Big Daddy.

"Arkansas," he says.

"Savannah."

"Hanoi."

"Indiana."

"Charlotte?" Sheldon calls.

"Alabama," she says to Big Daddy. "And we're done. All right, Sheldon, you can come in."

He opens the door, looks her up and down. "Feeling better?"

"Think so."

"Was I interrupting something?"

"Not really."

He sits down beside her, keeps his tone light and casual. "Just thought I heard some talking in here."

"Was whupping Big Daddy's ass in Geography. Just passing time."

"Ah. So he's back again."

"Comes and goes."

"And Cooper?"

"He comes and goes too. But that's not what you're asking."

"Just wondering if you followed my advice."

"Oh sure, that'll help right now. Hey, Coop, by the way, did I mention how my dead daddy thinks you're a spineless slob?"

"Well, I'm not sure I would approach it in quite those words."

"Not sure it needs approaching at all. Look, Sheldon, he can't handle this. I mean, clearly."

"He's learning how to. Charlotte, what you saw this morning was actually Cooper trying to do the right thing. It maybe didn't come off that way. But what he was trying to do was let you express yourself without any interference from him."

"Without any understanding, you mean."

"Without any reaction. He was trying to just let you do whatever it was you needed. And then he figured he'd work out what it meant when he got to his safe space, here with me."

"Felt like he wasn't handling it, Sheldon. And when he doesn't handle it, it makes me think he doesn't really want to know."

"Let's talk to him," Sheldon says. "Let's go and talk, Charlotte. This will help you. I promise you, it will."

"We'll see about that. In the meantime, you keep your mouth shut about Big Daddy, you hear me? You promised me."

"I know what I promised. Will you come with me, Charlotte? Will you talk to Cooper with me?"

What can she do? She follows Sheldon.

Cooper is looking calm again, and very apologetic.

"Hey, babe."

"Cooper."

"So, can we start with 'I'm sorry' and go from there?"

She sits, makes sure she isn't touching him. "Maybe."

"Aw, baby, come on..."

"No. You should have had the muffins, Coop. Should have had 'em."

"I'm sorry. You're right, and I'm sorry. I was just...I was scared, Charlotte. I don't always know what to do when I'm scared."

"I was scared too," she admits. "Scared to stop pretending for you. Scared you'd turn your back on me if you knew how turned around I really was. And then...you kinda did, a little bit. So..."

"I'm sorry. Char, I'm so, so sorry. I just need you to know that I probably won't always handle it perfectly, because I love you and I worry about you and I'm scared just like you are. But it doesn't mean I don't still want to know what's going on. And it doesn't mean we can't work through whatever it is."

"Hard for me to trust that," she says. "I'm fighting instinct here, Coop. My whole life, whenever there's been anything scary, I've pushed it down and put on the happy face. And I'm fighting instinct cause I know this is bigger than me, and I'm trying not to fall into those other habits I had the last time I was in a dark place. But it's hard. Harder still when what I'm getting back from you is, you'd rather it be the other way."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that! Coop, I've had enough talk, I need doing right now. I need you to stop looking at me all the time like you're sad and there's something wrong with me. I need to stay busy so I don't have time to sit there and think about how fucked I really am. And I need you to hold me and keep the dreams away and be my good man in the storm."

He looks at Sheldon. "Will it get better? At some point, eventually, will it get better?"

"It's early days yet. Cooper, she still has injuries. Bruises that haven't quite faded yet. And the man who did this is still out there, somewhere. He won't be, forever. He'll do this again, and they'll get him, I think. But he's out there. And she's still hurting. And it's early days yet."

"But will it get better?"

"After awhile, the dreams won't come as often. She'll sleep better, and that will make a world of difference. And you'll graduate from holding her to keep the dreams away to holding her for other things. It'll come, Cooper. But -I'm being honest for you, for both of you- it won't come fast, and it won't come easy."

"So, what do we do?"

"You let life go on as well as it can, I think. You go to work, you come home, you go to dinner. You come here and work with me, for awhile at least. And it'll get better. Slowly but surely, it'll get better."

"And if she does something else, like...like this morning?"

"You eat the muffins, Cooper. And you hold it together until you can get to me."

"What about Charlotte? What should she do?"

"Well, I've given her some homework already. We'll see how she does with it before I give her something else."

"Sheldon..."

"Give it time, Cooper. Both of you, you need to just give it time."

She occupies herself for the rest of the day with business, and stays out of Cooper's way. She runs over to the hospital for an hour at about 3 o'clock, and when she comes back to the practice, he's waiting in her office with this adorable, goofy smile.

"Baby."

"Coop."

"Will you go out with me tonight? Just dinner, pizza maybe, but I just...I want to start fresh with this, Char. I want to just relax and be with you and try and be that better man."

She's tired, bone-tired, from the talking as much as from anything else. But he's so earnest, she can't reject him. And she knows she has to stay busy, because her mind goes to scary places when she doesn't keep it occupied...

There's a small Italian place, candles, gentle music, tasteful wine. She must be more tired than she thinks, because she's faintly buzzed after only two glasses, and she feels like pudding, like she's just come out of a massage of a yoga class or something. She lets him put his hand on hers and gently stroke her fingers.

"I love you," he says.

"That's nice."

"Even with all of this, I...that's not coming out right. What I mean is, I just want you to know that I'm here for you. And we'll deal with this. And I love you so much."

"Geez, did you have to bring this up now?"

He frowns. "I said something nice. Didn't I?"

"Just...just thought we were having a moment that wasn't about all this, you know? And then you had to go and bring it up again..."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you've been saying that a lot. Look, a lot of things about this are hard for me, and not all of them are about what happened that night, with him. It's what happened after...like this, Sheldon, you. Us 'dealing' with this. You think I enjoy being everybody's special project?"

"No, I guess you don't."

"You think I enjoy having Addison and Violet and all these people who never much cared for me suddenly giving me the pity eyes and trying to be my friend cause they feel so sorry for me?"

He pulls his hand away.

"Look, a part of me is trying to manage, every minute of the day. It's focusing on staying busy so I don't think too hard, and on not screaming every time I have to touch someone. But another part of me just wants life to go on and not be about this anymore, you know? And I guess I thought that's the part that was having this dinner with you."

"You're right. Of course, you're right. And I'm sorry, I am."

"Look, just let me bring it up if I want to, okay? I said I'd work with you all on this. Said I'd try and open up. Just let me choose the moments."

"Got it."

"And stop apologizing, will you? Just relax a little, Coop, it's okay. Can you just relax with me?"

He gulps, then nods and takes her hand again. That's progress, for one day.