Behold...my longest chapter yet.
DISCLAIMER: I own Derrick Bolris and Ri'ann Parrn. The Misfitverse this takes place in belongs to Red Witch, the characters of G.I. Joe belong to Hasbro, and everything else belongs to Marvel.
Chapter 23: Breakout Time
"In you go!" a Cobra soldier spat as he shoved Derrick and Nico into a cell and activated a force field.
"Since when is Cobra so well-prepared?" Nico asked.
"Our ally was very generous," Destro explained. "He supplied us everything we used to capture you, and even enough to keep you here in these power-dampening cells long enough for us to create a mutant army."
"Cobra's in a cash crisis, huh?" Derrick smirked.
Destro glared briefly at Derrick before leaving.
"So, what now?" Nico asked.
"I'm not sure we can do much except what Dagger suggested," Derrick shrugged, "much as I don't like it."
"Wait, hang on," Nico interjected. "Back at the Hostel, I got knocked out before I could bring out my staff. If I still have it, I might be able to spell us out of here."
"Please do," Derrick said, glancing out into the hallway.
"I take it you're not getting any pleasant memories from this?" Nico asked. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," Derrick sighed, "it's my parents'. Ever since that day I've been afraid of being stuck in a place like this again."
Nico put a comforting arm around him.
"I'm a little scared, too," Nico said, "especially if they try to do to someone like Molly what they did to you. But, we'll make it through this. We will."
She kissed him.
"Feel better?" Nico asked.
"Uh…a little," Derrick said.
"Great," Nico smiled, and began digging her fingernails into her palm. "Cobra took the switchblade I got from Chase, so this'll have to do. When blood is shed, let the Staff of One emerge!"
Nico caught the staff, and then aimed it at the force field door.
"Shortage!" she cried, and the force field, instead of shorting out, actually shrank. It became so small, in fact, that a person could hold it in their hand. "Well, not what I was intending…but it works, I guess."
"We need to free the others," Derrick said. "Destro's going to come back sometime. We need to be out of here before then."
"Point taken," Nico said. "Let's try and find a control room or something. Maybe there we can find a switch to turn off the cell doors."
"Think anyone will actually come?" Derrick said.
"Maybe," Nico said. "If the help is adults, we'll need to move twice as fast."
****
Several minutes earlier, atop the fortress-like base (likely another gift from Cobra's mysterious ally), a pair of Cobra troopers stood as sentries. Both held rifles in their hands, and both were extremely bored.
"Yo, Joe?" asked one trooper.
"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SAY THAT!" roared the other, apparently named Joe. "Now you've gone and jinxed us!"
"Sorry," winced the first trooper. "Just wanted to ask what we were doing here."
"Ah, we're just standing guard…again," Joe answered. "Maybe if you didn't eat so much food, Jack, we wouldn't be out here!"
"Hey, I have a high metabolism!" Jack snapped back. "And what about that time you tried to hit on the Baroness, huh?!"
"Oh, God, don't remind me," groaned Joe. "Destro kicked me into next month one time for every comment I made...and I made a lot of comments."
"Might have had something to do with why we're out here!" Jack continued. "Or maybe that time you mistook Dr. Mindbender's secret formula for a bottle of soda!"
"Don't you look at me, Jack!" Joe snapped. "Need I remind you who got caught on duty with G.I. Joe underwear?! On the outside of his uniform?!"
"Says the guy who was watching Grease on Cobra Commander's private TV!" Joe retorted.
"That was one time!" Jack snapped. "I didn't hear you complaining when Sandy was on screen, you pervert!"
"I'm a pervert?!" cried Joe. "I might have hit on the Baroness, but at least I didn't try to sneak out for a trip to a strip club! How can you even find a strip club, anyway?! We're on a remote island!"
"That was only one time, too!" Jack retorted. "And another thing! How come you're updating your Facebook status on your cell phone when you're supposed to be guarding subjects?!"
"Well, it beats having to reset the locks when you somehow get yourself locked in the cells!" Joe snapped. "Which, may I add, are the same cells holding very angry and especially smelly experiments!"
Had the two not broken out into a fist-fight at that moment, they would have noticed a military helicopter approach the base.
****
Nico and Derrick dashed down the hallways, Nico clubbing the heads of any Cobra soldiers they came across.
"There has to be a control room around here somewhere!" Nico said, striking the latest trooper.
"Yeah, but the question is, where around here is the damn thing?" Derrick said.
"Let's ask someone," Nico said, grabbing a semi-conscious guard. "You have some place where you can shut off all the cell doors at once, right?"
"Y-yeah," groaned the trooper.
"Where is it?" Nico demanded.
"I'm not telling you," the trooper said, though his voice was weak.
"It's that room down the hall with the words 'control room' printed on the front, isn't it?" Derrick asked.
"How'd you know?!" the trooper cried.
"I have more than one brain cell," Derrick replied simply.
"We're done here," Nico said, "good night."
She knocked the trooper out with a blow from her staff, and the two approached the control room. At that moment, however, they were soon faced with another threat.
Deadpool.
"You stupid people!" Deadpool cried as he appeared out of nowhere via his teleportation device. "You're ruining the job! And I just got into Mindbender's lab, too!"
"Well, if you didn't sign up with Cobra, maybe you'd be better off," Nico said, aiming her staff at Deadpool.
"Hey, you know what? You're right!" Deadpool said. "Just because I blew up a building full of innocent people doesn't make me a villain! C'mon, let's go kick some Cobra tail! YO DEADPOOL!"
Deadpool took out his swords and charged wildly into the control room, leaving Derrick and Nico behind.
"Did that make any sense to you?" Derrick asked her.
"Nope," Nico shook her head.
"Me neither," Derrick said.
Many sounds could be heard from the control room.
"Deadpool, don't touch that!" Destro roared. "That's the release button! It will free all the prisoners!"
"Reverse psychology ahoy! Pushing button now!"
"NO!"
"Is this the 'serve pudding' button?"
"GET AWAY FROM THERE!"
"I…think we should go," Nico said.
"Agreed," Derrick said.
****
"Everybody out!" Logan yelled, leading the X-Men out of their respective cells.
"Wait, we can help!" Dagger interjected. "Cloak can teleport us all at once!"
"An excellent idea," nodded a blue-furred man with long hair, the X-Man named Hank McCoy. "We should, however, wait for Los Angeles' resident teen's guild before we leave."
"Someone mention us?" Chase smirked, with Karolina, Xavin, Victor, Gert, Old Lace and Molly alongside him. "The last two are on their way."
"OH MY GOD IT'S POCAHONTAS!" Molly cried, rushing up to a Cheyenne X-Woman.
"Uh," was all that Dani Moonstar could say.
"Are you still together with that British guy?" Molly asked. "Do you have kids? Are you a queen? Do you live in a teepee?"
"Uh, Molly?" Dagger said. "That's not Pocahontas."
"She isn't?" Molly asked.
"No, that's Moonstar from the X-Men," Victor shook his head. "I thought she left the X-Men, though."
"I did," Dani said. "I went to live with my grandfather, but I moved back into the Institute after he was killed by some anti-mutant lunatics."
"Oh," Molly said, sounding somewhat disappointed. She then looked at Wolverine and then spoke the loudest four words she would ever say.
****
"Any idea where the others are?" Derrick asked.
"Knowing Molly, if they're near the X-Men, we should be hearing from them anytime now," Nico said.
And then their signal came.
"WOLVERINE IS A JERK!" Molly's voice roared.
"There they are," Nico smiled. "Let's go."
The two soon found themselves reunited with their fellow Runaways, along with the various X-Men. Logan and Rina were still clutching their ears from Molly's outburst.
"Gang's all here!" said a blonde woman named Tabitha Smith, though more commonly known by the name of Boom-Boom.
"So you're the Runaways?" asked a black-haired Chinese girl. "I'm Jubilee. I was part of the team that went to LA."
"Much as I'd love to socialize," Dagger said, "we've got company."
An army of Cobra troopers was charging their way. Destro had already escaped, leaving his men to recapture their kidnapped "subjects".
"Better hold off the warp-out!" cried brown-haired Bobby Drake. "We can take these guys!"
"Agreed," Xavin nodded, in human female form as her shape-shifting had returned. She changed her arms into their Thing-like form, and prepared to fight.
"This is awesome!" cried a powering-up Victor. "A team-up with the X-Men!"
"Don't get used to it," Derrick snapped as he absorbed some of Victor's electricity. "It's not gonna happen all the time."
"I'm just glad our powers are back," Karolina said as she soared into the air.
"So am I," Rina agreed, releasing her claws. "I'm also glad that I don't have the adamantium restraints anymore."
"Let's roll!" Logan roared as both teams charged into the fray, Cloak and Dagger in tow.
Karolina and Bobby went in first, Karolina firing beams at several troopers as Bobby rode in on his ice bridge and froze several other troopers. Old Lace, Rina, and Logan tore through the troopers in a feral frenzy, the latter two slicing up guns as the former leapt upon a soldier or two. Xavin sent multiple troopers flying with a single punch before switching to Johnny Storm's power, unleashing a flame stream alongside one made by Chase to defeat several Cobra troopers that were approaching from another direction.
Dagger and Beast agilely bounded into the fray, feet in a flurry as they struck down various troopers. Victor and Derrick worked together to form electrical constructs such as circular saw blades and even a dragon-like head, all defeating rather large numbers of troopers. Those troopers that passed through the onslaught were immediately tripped by Gert before being exposed to their worst fear, courtesy of Dani.
Cobra's ally had apparently somehow donated massive numbers of soldiers, as the troopers were still coming. The X-Men and Runaways, however, were still fighting, alongside the duo of Cloak and Dagger. Tabitha threw several small orbs of energy into the guns of some troopers, causing the guns to explode in the soldiers' faces. Cloak swung his shroud bout, using it to strike down some soldiers as Jubilee released firework-like bursts from her hands.
"BATTLE HO!" Deadpool cried, appearing out of nowhere and swinging his swords around wildly.
In a few short minutes, all the troopers were unconscious.
"I shall allow us to take our leave," Cloak said, enveloping Dagger, all the X-Men and Runaways, allowing them to disappear. Deadpool disappeared as well, in another red flash of light.
****
Moments later, many different soldiers burst into the facility, headed by a man wearing a green ski mask.
"Okay, snakes!" barked Beach Head, a member of G.I. Joe. "Come out with your hands…up?"
By the time Beach Head and the rest of G.I. Joe had arrived, all the Cobra troopers were unconscious and Destro had escaped.
"Looks like we weren't the first," observed Roadblock, adopted father of the two Misfits named Blob and Toad. "Also seems these Cobras got the worst."
"The question is 'who'," said General Hawk, a man with a star on his hat indicating his status. "Scarlet, anything from Cobra's security footage?"
"Nope," said a red-haired woman as she shook her head. "The security cameras are all destroyed, so have the screens in the control room."
"Shame," Hawk said. "Would've liked to get some word from the X-Men now that Xavier's off waging a one-man political war against the Mutant Information Act."
"So, what do we do?" Beach Head asked. "Let it go down as a mystery?"
"Looks like it," Hawk sighed. "And, Beach Head?"
"What?" asked Beach Head before a shark that somehow had wings leapt out of the water and attacked him. "AAAH! HELP ME!"
"Be careful of Cobra experiments," Hawk sighed.
****
Back at Bayville, Cloak and the ones he was transporting emerged in a burst of shadow. At this point, the X-Men and Runaways were saying good-bye.
"Are you sure you can't stay here?" Hank asked. "You would all be welcome, even if you're not mutants."
"And leave LA to the mercy of New York's psychos?" Nico said. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"And Cloak and I would rather make sure no one else gets experimented on," Dagger said. "Nice to meet you guys, though."
"The pleasure is all mine," Hank smiled.
"Okay, guys, let's drop you off back at LA," Dagger said to the Runaways as Cloak enveloped both her and them.
****
Somewhere in the country, a man was speaking with another man who had pale white skin and hair.
"Cobra didn't make the cut, boss," said the white man.
"A pity indeed, Tombstone," said the first man. "I had hoped to use Cobra's resources to gain a share of their mutant soldiers. It seems, however, that I will need to take secondary measures. Rendezvous with Bloodscream, Roughouse, Songbird and Bullseye."
"What for?" asked the man called Tombstone.
"We will need to 'persuade' a certain Dr. Bruce Banner to help us," said the first man. "Once I have the power he possesses, the Black Tarantula shall rule over Los Angeles in the Pride's place. And when I do, I shall show the Pride's infidel children the meaning of true power."