Chapter 7: First Seed of Doubt

It was easier to put things in proper perspective after a good night's sleep. Alyanna's words were a mere buzz in my mind now. I didn't know why it was so important to prove to her that Bella was just like any other normal girl that found their way into my life, but it was. I would not be so open to admit to Alyanna that I did like this girl— there was nothing to admit in the first place. And I certainly would not surrender to desire. I would avoid Bella if I had to and avoid her I did. It wasn't really so difficult to do since she made no move to speak to me, made no sign of acknowledgement that she knew I existed in the few classes we had together. It seemed like I wasn't the only one who was playing hide and seek. But no one was seeking in this little game of ours… we were both hiding.

This course of action went on for the remainder of the week. I vaguely wondered how long we could actually keep this up. It was slightly beginning to bother me but I couldn't let it get to me. This was for the best after all. All I had to do was to endure another year of this and then after graduation, I would be able to leave Forks and every memory of what had happened in high school behind. It seemed so easy to do. But I couldn't help but think— would I be able to put up with this much longer?

I shook the thoughts from my mind as I sped down the road. Alyanna had told me yesterday that there was a small music symposium being held in Port Angeles.

"You should go check it out. I know how much you love anything to do with music."

I had asked her this morning if she wanted to come along but she said that there were other things she needed to take care of first. I chuckled at that point, knowing she was being bombarded by her suitors yet again. They haven't given her any rest since the moment they found out she returned to visit and was planning to stay longer than usual.

I slowed down and pulled up in one of the empty parking slots. I got out and the wind brushed against me, making my hair messed up more than usual. I sighed. Couldn't the gods give me one day, just one day where my hair could be more manageable?

I entered the hall and immediately felt a smile creep to my lips. Every corner you looked there were CDs, tapes, old records and piano pieces. There were statues and busts of famous songwriters and musicians from different kinds of eras. One side of the wall was made up of glass and through it you could see another room, this time filled with different instruments ranging from percussion, to brass, to string.

I started to make my way towards that room, but a double door on my right caught my eye. It was slightly ajar and the soft music of a piano was pouring out from the room behind those doors. Letting my curiosity overcome me, I walked towards it and pressed my ears against the door. I started listening to the familiar melody. Only moments more did I notice that someone was singing along with the tune.

The person playing was impeccable. Her voice was crystal and there wasn't a single note that was off-key. But this was not what captivated me into hearing more. The emotion present in her voice as she sang flawlessly was so evident. It was astonishing. My entire body relaxed as I listened to her gentle voice, weaving in and out with the piano's soothing tune. But the sound coming from the instrument sounded… empty. I unconsciously leaned against the door and the next thing I knew, I was falling.

"Edward."

I heard the soft murmur as my breath got knocked out of me as something hard collided with my chest. The soft murmur beside me was a sound I could have recognized anywhere. I looked up to see Bella Cullen's surprised face and felt my own features re-arrange themselves to show my own shock. I gazed around me as she helped me stand up. There was no one else in the room so she must have been the one who had been playing earlier. I stared at her inhumanly beautiful face as question after question passed through my mind.

"How… What the…" I stammered as my eyes shifted from the piano sitting in the middle of the room to Bella who was now standing beside me. "How did you get here so fast?"

I saw her concerned eyes tighten ever so slightly. My eyes traveled downwards as I felt a slight pressure on my arms. Bella's hand was still on my arm. The sudden shift of my focus seemed to catch her attention and as soon as she realized what she was doing, she let go of my arm abruptly and stepped back.

"Sorry." She mumbled under her breath.

We stood in an awkward silence as I thought of a way to bring back my earlier question. I opened my mouth to speak but she was walking back towards the piano.

"I should go." She told me with her back turned as she got her bag. She turned swiftly and headed towards the door.

"Don't." My heartbeat raced as that one word escaped my lips. I backed it up at once though— I didn't want to sound too desperate. "Don't leave on my account."

She stopped beside me and turned her head to face me. "It's fine. I was just about to leave anyway."

I racked my mind to say anything that would make her stay longer. I didn't know why though. Wasn't I trying to avoid her? To block her out of my life completely? I was already doing fine. I had successfully shunned her for a week. I didn't need to break that streak. But my reasoning was incoherent as we stood beside each other with our arms barely inches away.

"I heard you play." I said.

I saw from the corner of my eyes that her stance had relaxed and a small smile formed on her lips.

"Yes. I've been playing like that for quite a while now." She frowned.

"What do you mean?" I turned to face her, now truly curious. There was a double-meaning in her words.

"It's complicated."

I felt my lips tug at the corner as I answered her. "Try me."

She looked at me, studying my face. Then she sighed and walked back slowly to the sleek, black piano in the middle of the room. She sat down and patted the space next to her, ushering me to sit down with her. I felt confused as I did what I was told but eyed her patiently. She faced me and smiled warmly— I felt my breath hitch.

"Listen."

She started to play again. I noted that it was the same song she was playing before I rudely fell into the room and interrupted her. Soon, her voice entwined with the melody and I listened carefully, as she instructed me to. Bella played it as flawlessly as before but I couldn't help but sense something different. It was the same song, the same lyrics, and the same notes— but to the trained ear, there was an immense difference to the manner she played it now compared to before. It was more beautiful, more… emotionally packed than before.

"It's different." I pointed out as the song came to an end.

She eyed me with bewilderment as she faced me again. "No, it was the same song."

"Yes, I know but what I meant was that… the way you played it… it was different." I explained.

Her eyes widened slightly with awe. "You noticed that?"

I nodded.

She smiled. "What you heard earlier… before you came in… it isn't how I usually play. But I've been playing like that for some time now and it slightly bothers me."

"I don't understand."

"My family says that when I play it's like I'm in my own little world. They say that I become an open book. I don't really get what they mean because I'm always calm when I play, always peaceful. But these past few days it's been different. The sounds seem… altered. Sometimes it sounds on edge, or like something was missing or taken away, sometimes it would just sound hollow, it sounded nothing like before. And well… when I played again this time, when I made you listen, it felt like something inside me just snapped. I felt like I was in my own little world again, like I used to feel when I play at home. The sound wasn't hollow anymore. There was something in it. I just don't know what it is yet." She glanced at me, her face apologetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't make any sense at all, did I?"

I shook my head and smiled at her. "No. I think you've voiced your thoughts very sufficiently."

Her bell-like laugh echoed through the close room. "You understood every word I said?" She raised an eyebrow at me skeptically.

My smile widened at her doubt. "Of course I did."

She continued to raise her eyebrows at me and her lips twitched. I could see that she was fighting the urge to smile. "Impressive."

We looked at each other for a moment. Flickers of the earlier electricity started to appear again. That reminded me of what happened earlier.

"You still haven't answered one of my earlier questions." I said in a voice that was too low. I didn't even think she would have been able to hear me.

Her face became wary as she continued to look at me. "Which one?"

My eyes flashed to the door. "How did you get to me so fast?"

Her eyes visibly tightened once again. "It wasn't as far as you think and besides, I have fast reflexes."

My eyes narrowed at her infinitesimally. Fine then. I would let it go… for now. Bella sighed and scooted slightly away from me. I didn't notice that we had moved so close to each other during our discussion in the piano bench. She reached for her bag and turned back to me.

"I should get going. Alice and Rosalie are both waiting for me so that they can start to induce their self-imposed torture."

"May I ask what they're planning to do?"

"They're going to drag me off and torment me with their long and agonizing shopping sprees." She shuddered.

I chuckled at her expression. "Why are you going if you don't want to?"

She looked at me darkly. "You have no idea what it's like to have two sisters who are more than capable of blackmail and car theft."

I laughed. "I guess I see your point."

She waited for me to stand up and we headed to the door, side by side. Our arms were almost brushing and I could feel the coolness radiating from Bella's skin.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?" she asked as I opened the door for her.

"Yes."

She abruptly stopped at her tracks and I almost bumped into her. Her face was serious as she turned to face me and her eyes burned into mine. My heart thumped as they smoldered. I couldn't bring myself to look away. She gazed at my eyes apprehensively and brought herself closer to me. The proximity we had was compelling, I could barely control myself from closing the space left between us. Her next words brought me back to reality. "At school… Why were you avoiding me?"