A/N: This is just a short chapter to show you Bella's side on the recent events and how she will impulsively react. The next chapter will be the real deal. But still… review, people!
Previously on Destroying Typecasts:
I did not answer. I could not answer. I simply watched as she gracefully walked away from me, her hair bouncing in the absent wind. It was so simple to just let her leave like that. Easy. Effortless. What was so hard was to keep my feet firmly on the ground… to keep myself from running after her. I did my best to convince myself that right now, I had to. She needed me to (how I knew that, I had no idea)— no matter how much my heart screamed from the anguish of just watching her retreating back, unable to do anything to console the agony I saw beneath her distraught eyes.
Chapter 8.5: Smother Me with Perplexity
BELLA CULLEN
I turned around, my eyesight blinded with fury as his emerald eyes that were filled with horrified bafflement played itself in my head over and over. It tumbled and turned in an irritating loop that didn't want to stop. No matter how much I tried to shake the image off, it just stayed there. Rooted. A fixed picture in my mind.
Oh sardonic retribution! How fast and swift you are sent to me. For just that moment of derangement, such an image was sent to compensate but it greatly surpassed that goal. Now his fear resounded in my head, tainted the air I tried not to inhale… tormenting me with indecorousness. It couldn't be any clearer in those emerald eyes that he was afraid, even as I just stood there in front of him. And because of that, all hell was let loose inside my mind with no conceivable way out.
It didn't matter that he didn't know what kind of monster I really was. My temporary insanity was enough to drive him away from me. Humans have an instinct to retract from anything that expels the slightest hint of danger and my little stunt with Edward evidently fell under that category.
I held my breath as I rushed to the exit, not wanting to take in any more scents that would extinguish my self- control. I mentally kicked myself for allowing Rosalie to drive me here. Of course, it wasn't under my own free will— it was part of her and Alice's latest scheme to get me to go shopping with them. I held a sigh as I longed for my car. I needed time to be alone so that I could calm down… think… tear myself away from this infuriating confusion.
My heart clenched with agony as I recalled how Edward's confused eyes desperately searched mine for enlightenment, looking into its depths for some answer that was not— could not be present there. I knew what was in my eyes back then, I knew what he could have possibly seen… what's still retained there till this moment. Hunger, yearning, craving— desire for something that called out to my other nature, something that I had been denying for too long a time… desire for something that was absolutely forbidden to belong to me… to be completely and utterly be mine.
I shuddered as I remembered how my venom slowly filled my mouth. I recalled how it covered my teeth, smothering it with its consistency. I could not fathom how I was able to divulge those venom-coated teeth against Edward's neck— so delicate and fragile and warm… pulsing with his tantalizing blood that tarnished the air with its alluring honey and lilac smell.
The monster whimpered with these thoughts, begging for release— trying to convince me to turn around and sample that mouthwatering blood that sang to me and permanently altered my being. I did not please it as I gave no sign of weakness, no crack for it to work through. I did not succumb.
But the guilt and anger that penetrated me could not compare to the bewilderment I felt as I remembered what happened as I leaned against Edward back in the lobby, entangling my fingers in his smooth, silken locks. It confused me as to how the venom pooled into my mouth when in fact, I was nowhere near hungry. I was perfectly satiated as I took in Edward's scent a while ago, relishing the beauty of it… the sweetness. I was not hungry but the venom was there, ready for release. How could that happen? Maybe I was more dangerous than I had anticipated.
Frustration and anger coursed through my frame. I repressed the growl that I subconsciously aimed for the monster and precariously breathed in fresh, untainted air as I pushed those aggravating thoughts away.
I surveyed the lot for an incoming red convertible but what I saw instead slightly uplifted my demeanor. There, parked in plain sight, was my beloved eclipse spyder. I rushed to it and read the note that was taped to the steering wheel before I raced out of the parking lot.
You're spared this time, Bella. Run along and do what you need to before I change my mind and revert to what we originally intended on doing.
I almost smiled as an image of Alice frowning deeply when she realized she needed to postpone our shopping trip formed itself in my mind. Only Alice could worry more about her lost, 'precious' time, than how her sister almost bit a human… in public… for everyone to see. But despite her being a pest sometimes, Alice never fails in looking out for you— in giving you what's best.
I suddenly felt panic as I tried to surmise what excuse she told Rosalie to change our pre- ordained plan. Or did she tell her the truth? If she did, Rosalie would be fuming right now… more likely to be in a rampage. And if that happened, Carlisle and Esme would find out about my almost disaster. My chest constricted just imagining the disappointment in my 'parents'' eyes… I couldn't take the prospect of that happening.
I let out a slow and long breath, putting as much of the frustration, confusion, anger and depression I felt into it, trying to clear my head in the process.
I quietly thanked the heavens that my car was heavily tinted as I drove through the streets illuminated by the setting sun, not even bothering to keep within the speed limit. I did not look back as I sped through the mossy greenness. I had no idea as to where I was headed but my destination seemed highly irrelevant now. As of now, any destination was warmly welcomed as long as it enabled me to leave behind this aberration. I would go anywhere just as long as it fulfilled my one prerequisite, my one need— that it was in an acceptable distance away from Forks… away from him.