Authors Note: Hi everyone! I apologize for the late update - it's been a killer week. Anyway, thanks for all the lovely reviews, I really appreciate them. They never fail to make me smile and can make a crap day at work turn into a not so crap one! :)

Just a few things I want to say:
- I know I'm taking my time sending them to Australia. I just think there are a couple of things that need to happen before they leave. I promise I'll try to make it sooner rather than later, so please bear with me.
- Like the previous chapter, all attempts have been made to make sure all sentences are complete and there are no grammatical errors, but if there are, please forgive me. After re-reading the chapter a few times, it gets hard to pick up on mistakes.
- VA and associated characters belong to Richelle Mead.
- This chapter is again written in Rose's PoV. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Happy Reading~

Chapter 4

Rose's Point of View

Dinner time came by fast and I was determined to have fun that night. Naturally, part of having fun was dressing up. After all, Guardians don't get to dress up often. After going through all the dresses that I brought along, I finally decided on my favourite black dress. I knew I would have Adrian salivating at me, and maybe a tiny part of me wanted to catch Dimitri's eye too. But it was just a tiny part of me. I promise. I was trying to work at this forgetting him business, but it's easier said than done. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I looked good. It was a nice change from the usual Guardian clothes that I wore all the time. I decided to wear my hair up so I could show off my slender neck and shoulders. I teased a few tendrils of hair loose to frame my face and I smiled at the softening effect it had on my face. I knew Dimitri would approve, not that it mattered. I quickly applied some mascara and after strapping on some black heels, I was ready for my party.

As I descended the stairs and made my way into the dining room, I heard Alberta, Katie and Tanya yell out their regrets for not being able to have dinner as they had a security meeting to attend for tomorrow's event. It was a shame because Alberta, Katie, Tanya and I had grown close ever since we moved to New York. Alberta had always acted as our mentor; but we've seen her let her hair down on a number of occasions and she was actually quite fun to be around. I met Katie at Court, shortly after Graduation. Katie was much more reserved than I was, but when it came to training and fighting, no one was more dedicated that she was. Maybe except me. When she was assigned to Mia, we started to hang out a little bit more and I quickly found out that she wasn't as boring as I initially thought she was, especially after I found out that she was quietly opposing Tatiana's orders by teaching Mia how to fight and even letting Mia take on Strigoi (anyone who opposed Tatiana automatically made it in my good books). I knew there had to be a reason behind Mia's eagerness to have Katie on board.

Lissa and I met Tanya, with her charge – Ayeshah – in New York. Having moved to New York a year before we did, Ayeshah volunteered to show us the city as she felt compelled to pass on the kindness someone else showed her when she first arrived. I always found that there was a certain mystical quality about her, even after knowing her for about a year. She never talked about why she came to America, and on the few occasions when we've asked her, she had always changed the topic. Lissa and I decided that she must be running away from memories of a lost love. It was much more romantic than Christian's version – that she's a convicted drug dealer and has a price on her head. He was always coming up with stupid conspiracy theories like that. Ayeshah is an Air user, and whilst she was at first hesitant to the idea of offensive magic, she quickly became interested; although, as far as I knew, she hasn't managed to learn much offensive magic yet. Ayeshah was of Middle Eastern background and so, despite being Moroi, she had dark hair, as opposed to the usual light blonde that usually distinguished the Morois from the Dhampirs. She was incredibly beautiful and I had seen Adrian check her out a few times, but he always laughed it off when I asked him. 'I only have eyes for you,' he would say and I would chuck something at him.

When I first met Tanya, I got the impression that she was very stern and dry in her approach to life. She took everything seriously, and I rarely ever saw her joke. She usually wore the same controlled expression as Dimitri did. She hardly ever laughed at my jokes; which I thought was fair effort on her part, because I like to think that I'm hilarious. I gave up trying to bond with her after trying a few times to talk and getting monosyllabic responses, but over time, she started to grow on me. She was fiercely loyal to Ayeshah and became enraged at Katie and I one day when we tried to ask her about Ayeshah's history. I respect that sort of friendship, it reminded me very much of the one I had with Lissa.

When I got to the dining room, I stood quietly at the entrance for a few minutes as I took in the sight in front of me. Everyone was standing around in groups chatting to each other with drinks in their hands. Mia was laughing at something Eddie said, and I swore I saw her bat her eyelids flirtatiously at him. Hmm… Interesting, I thought, and I decided to flag it as something to follow up with Mia another time.

Adrian was by the bar making a cocktail for Ayeshah and I hoped, for her sake, that he didn't slip in an extra shot of alcohol. Adrian likes his alcohol, but more than that, he likes getting everyone else drunk. It was as though it would justify his own intoxication.

Dimitri was talking animatedly to Peter and David, possibly relating an interesting mission he was involved in. They had admiration in their eyes as they listened attentively. It must have been a dangerous mission. Dimitri was casually dressed in a white polo shirt and dark blue jeans, looking as good as he always did. He lifted his beer to his lips and in that moment, I would've given anything to be that beer bottle.

My heart thudded rapidly. The damned thing. Didn't it know how to let go?

I let out a heavy sigh as I pushed my lusty thoughts aside. I strode into the dining room, putting on a façade of confidence. As I predicted, every pair of male eyes turned to look at me – including Dimitri's. I smiled triumphantly to myself.

'What?' I decided to single Christian out, 'Never seen a Guardian dress up before?'

'Please,' he rolled his eyes, 'Is that the best you can look?'

'Well I look a lot better than you do!' I shot back at him, 'which is not hard to,'

Eddie guffawed and Christian scowled as he elbowed him in his ribs fiercely. Mia was immediately by Eddie's side as he rubbed his ribs, still laughing. Hmm… Definitely something there, I thought but before I could consider it further, Adrian was beside me. His arms snaked around my waist as he held me against him.

'I know how to walk on my own,' I joked, lightly shoving him away.

'Once I'm done with you, you won't be doing any walking – I can tell you that much,' Adrian's eyes sparkled.

I rolled my eyes at him and everyone groaned. I smacked him over the head, 'Quit it,' and turning to Lissa said, 'So are we ready for dinner?'

Lissa chuckled, 'We've been ready for ages Rose! You're always the last one to get ready,'

'Hey I've got to look good okay. Now, wasn't it worth it?' I joked, turning around in a circle and looked at every guy in the room except Dimitri. I didn't have to look at him; I knew he was looking at me.

Eat your heart out, I thought.

Everyone agreed whole heartedly, except Christian, naturally. He just muttered something about being narcissistic. Lissa laughed and told everyone to take their seats. I immediately lunged for the one next to Lissa. I was not going to be stuck anywhere near Dimitri or Tasha.

Dinner started off with a warm tomato soup, which I mentally told myself to remember to ask Lissa to teach me how to make. It was creamy, without being too heavy. I would have had more than a bowl if I didn't already know that there would be more food to come. Our main course consisted of roast turkey, roast ham, and roast potatoes, pumpkins, carrots, and onions. There was so much food I thought I had died and gone to culinary heaven. The Morois didn't eat much, but there were enough hungry Guardians to polish off the food.

'How are you not morbidly obese?' Mia asked as I went for my second helping of roast turkey.

I grinned at her, 'Guardian's secret,'

I saw Dimitri try to suppress a smile and my heart fluttered happily, knowing that I was the cause of it.

Aside from the food, there was wine too. So much wine. I drank more than I would usually allow myself but I told myself that I was celebrating letting go of Dimitri. After over a year of pining for him, I didn't know what could be a bigger celebration. Naturally, Adrian encouraged the drinking, topping up my glass whenever it was half full. I was more than tipsy when Lissa finally served dessert.

Chocolate mousse, strawberry cheesecake, and chocolate ice cream. Seriously, did Lissa think that we would be able to finish all of this? She always went overboard when cooking for Guardians. It was the best welcome home dinner ever.

As I spooned the last of my second helping of chocolate mousse into my mouth, I decided that Lissa needed to be toasted so I clanged my spoon loudly against my wine glass and stood up. I wavered a little on my feet and Adrian went to steady me, laughing hysterically. I laughed along with him – we were drunk. I was happy. It didn't matter if no one else found it funny. Lissa gave me a funny look as if trying to tell me that I should stop drinking, but nothing came through the bond so I dismissed it as unimportant. She was worrying too much again.

'LISTEN! I want to toast my best friend – Vasilissa Dragomir – for tonight's dinner. Once again, you never fail to amaze me with your culinary skills. Thank you for dinner, and for being the best friend anyone could ever ask for!' I shouted loudly.

There were cheers all round the table as I finished my wine. Lissa blushed and said thank you through our bond. Adrian cheered the loudest and went to top up my glass when Dimitri reached out to stop him. Adrian flashed an angry look at Dimitri.

'She's had too much to drink,' Dimitri explained.

'Pft!' Adrian brushed him away and asked me loudly, 'Rose, have you had enough?'

'NO!' I shouted happily. I was far from caring what Dimitri had to say, 'Top it up! WOO!'

Adrian shot Dimitri a smug look and topped up my wine glass. He then poured more wine into his own glass and turned to me, 'To the most beautiful woman in the world,'

I smiled at him and he drank deeply. I followed suit, downing my wine in a go, which earned loud cheers from Eddie, Christian, Adrian, Peter and David. Mia and Ayeshah were shaking their heads, but judging by the amused expression they had on their faces, they were enjoying the show I was putting on for them nonetheless. Tasha shared a concerned look with Lissa and I rolled my eyes at them. Party poopers.

I smiled brazenly at Dimitri, as if trying to make a point – although I wasn't quite sure what the point was at that stage. He frowned at me.

'Aren't you going to applaud me, Dimitri?' I demanded. Lissa laughed nervously and shook her head disapprovingly. You've had way too much to drink Rose, she said through our bond. I ignored her.

There was a momentary silence as everyone waited to see what would happen.

Then Adrian announced loudly, 'Well, if he won't applaud you, I will!' and taking my face in his hands, kissed me deeply.

I opened my eyes wide, shocked at the sudden intrusion. Everyone in the room whooped and cheered Adrian on so I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy it. He tasted like alcohol, but to be fair, I probably did too.

Seconds later, I felt someone yank him away from me. I opened my eyes in time to see Dimitri half-throw Adrian into the wall.

'Stay away from her,' Dimitri growled, 'Can't you see she's drunk?'

Whoa. What just happened?

It was weird. It wasn't like Dimitri to interfere like that, especially when he's dealing with a Royal Moroi. What happened to his prided self control?

Adrian stared murderously at Dimitri, 'And so what if she is?'

'You disgust me, Ivashkov,' Dimitri snarled.

I could feel that Lissa was getting increasingly flustered and confused by the commotion unfolding in front of her. She stood up and tried to sit me down but I brushed her aside as I tried to compose myself and register what had just happened.

'Don't you dare talk to me like that, Belikov,' Adrian walked up to Dimitri. He wasn't as tall as Dimitri but Adrian looked like he was going to take Dimitri on, regardless.

Even through my semi-drunken haze, I knew I had to stop the fight. It was my party and Lissa had gone through so much effort for it. No one was spoiling it.

'Hey!' I slurred at Dimitri, 'So what if I'm drunk?'

Okay, maybe not the best way to stop a fight.

He looked at me angrily, 'Pull yourself together Rose. You're no longer 17,'

I felt my cheeks heat up. His patronizing comment stung and I felt my anger boil over. I looked at him murderously. So he wants to play dirty does he?

'Yeah, I'm no longer 17. I'm glad I'm no longer 17. When I was 17, I was stupid enough to believe your lies about loving me!'

I heard a collective gasp around the table. As far as I knew, Lissa, Christian and Adrian were the only ones who knew. Hello, rude newsflash, Tasha! Dimitri looked like he'd been whipped across the face. I definitely went for the below-the-belt attack and immediately regretted it. So much for saving the party. I felt like I was going to be sick – it may have been the combination of the excessive alcohol, all the raw emotions of the day and now this unsalvageable dinner party. I turned around to storm out of the dining hall, wanting to be anywhere but there.

'Is that your solution Rose? Just run away from things every time they don't go your way?' Dimitri shouted after me. The asshole! How dare he lecture me about running away!

I turned around and glared at him, 'let's see, aren't you the expert in running away from fucked up situations? Just learning from the best, mentor!' and with that, I stormed out of the villa, trying to ignore the painful thumping in my heart.

--

'Rose,' I heard Dimitri come after me, 'Roza. Wait,'

I was surprised at how quickly I could move through the snow in heels. I amaze myself sometimes, I must admit. The cold air quickly sobered me up and I grew increasingly remorseful for making the situation worse. I should have just shut my mouth. Now I've ruined the night for everyone, especially Lissa. I didn't want to even begin to think about the rumours that would spread.

'ROZA!'

Okay, he was starting to get to me.

I spun around to face him, 'Do not ever call me that again!'

Hurt flashed across his eyes. Fuck him. As if he's the only one hurting. 'Rose, you'll freeze. Take my jacket,' he reached out towards me and I backed away from him. I wasn't going to let him touch me. One touch would be all it would take to unravel me and my fragile composure, one touch and I was certain I would be his again. The same pained expression was on him again and for a split second, I almost wanted to reach out to comfort him. Damn him for being so irresistible.

'What's wrong Dimitri? Does rejection hurt?' I smirked, deciding to opt for bravado instead. We stared at each other for a few seconds and then it all came apart for me; it was as if I was tired of holding it all in.

'You don't even know what rejection means. All this time while you were playing happy families with Tasha, I've been trying to forget you and what we had together. I loved you Dimitri and I would have fought everything and everyone for you. Yes, even the whole damned bureaucracy! But I realize now that I was naïve; that you were never… Would never be prepared to do the same for me. It's been more than a year, Dimitri. I was piecing my life back together but then you had to turn up again. And… Everything's upside down again. I hate it. It has to stop. You said I was just an infatuation, a random distraction. Act like it. Stop pretending to care about me when I know you don't. Offering me your jacket… Asking me if I'm happy… Just… Stop it,'

I was crying at the end of my rant. So much for cool and collected, so much for trying to be eloquent, so much for growing up. Ah, I need to get a hold of myself.

'So please, I am not Roza to you. Not anymore,' I breathed heavily, desperately trying to control my tears.

He took a step towards me and I backed away again.

I briefly glanced up at him and it was as though something in him snapped, 'I do care about you. My heart shattered when yours did. Just because I chose to leave first, just because I did what we both knew would be inevitable, doesn't mean that I hurt any less than you did. I think about you, dream about you all the time. But someone needs to be realistic here. We're duty bound to our charges. We can never be bound to each other. I know how much Lissa means to you. What if one day, you need to choose? I don't want you to ever have to make that choice,'

I slapped him hard and he reeled back in shock. I felt the anger build up in me once again, 'Stop using Lissa as an excuse for leaving me. You left me because you were ashamed of what we had. You left me because I could never give you a family, because Tasha was always going to be the better deal, because I was just… Some girl… Some stupid girl,'

'Roz-…'

'Please,' I interrupted him. I didn't care for his explanations. To me, they were just excuses, the same ones he spun when I was still at St. Vlad's. It didn't stop him from getting involved with me then. But when push came to shove, when I became an official Guardian, when he realized that I expected more than just secret meetings and stolen kisses, he bolted.

Suddenly, I felt extremely drained, 'Who I kiss, who I date, and even if I really wanted to, who I sleep with is no longer any of your business. For the remainder of your stay, please do not embarrass yourself by interfering. I loved you back then. I loved you all this time while you were away. Now, I'm going to stop loving you,' I avoided his gaze. I couldn't believe my heart could break so many times, 'Maybe one day, I'll look back on what we had and smile at the memories. But for now, it is something I'd rather forget. You said you think about me, dream about me... You said that your heart broke. I'm sorry. I'm too busy trying to mend my own to care,'

And without waiting for his response, I turned around to head back towards the villa. Lissa had followed me out and was staring at us with her mouth slightly open. I groaned inwardly, she must have heard everything. Why do I always end up in embarrassing situations? I felt Lissa's concern flood through our bond. I hung my head low, avoiding her gaze, and walked hurriedly inside. Lissa ran towards me and held me. I'm so sorry, Rose.

I shook my head, battling to gain composure. I was silently grateful that it was just her and not everyone else; not that I was naïve enough to think that everyone else weren't already talking about me around the dining table. What a disaster of a night.

Lissa helped me into my room and wrapped me up in some blankets. My teeth were chattering by now. I didn't realize how cold I was as Dimitri and I had our screaming match. Lissa quickly whipped up a cup of hot chocolate and sat by me, rubbing my back. I could feel her agony and it only served to reinforce my own.

'I'm sorry for ruining your dinner party Liss,' I forced a smile at her, hugging my cup of hot chocolate. Who needs men when there's chocolate?

She shook her head, 'Rose. Please. You don't have to be strong. You've always been the strong one. For once, let me look after you. Let me be the strong one… I've been so caught up in my own world that I've neglected your feelings. How can I be so blind? I should have known that you still love him,'

'Past tense Liss, I don't love him anymore,' I said bitterly.

Lissa looked at me, 'Who do you think you're kidding? Rose, you gave up the love of your life so you can be my Guardian. I feel horrible about it, and extremely honored at the same time,'

'Lissa, that's not true. He was a coward for using that excuse. Don't listen to it. We could have both been your Guardians if he wanted to. We would've made it work,'

Lissa shook her head. 'It wouldn't work Rose. If Strigoi attacked, he would throw himself in front of you, when his duty will be to throw himself in front of me,' mirroring Dimitri's past words.

'There would've been a way,' I said stubbornly, 'I would've thrown myself in front of you. And if he threw himself in front of me, then he would technically be throwing himself in front of you too! Or he could've been reassigned. He…'

'Rose,' Lissa cut me off, smiling sadly, 'I'm sorry,' and I was too tired to argue with her, so I let it go. It didn't matter anymore anyway. She told me that she would take care of everything tonight and that she would explain in as little detail as possible. I thanked her tiredly and she held me in her arms as I quietly sobbed myself to sleep.

And for the first time since Dimitri left me, I didn't dream of him.

Did you like it? I'm thinking of writing a DPoV for this. What do you guys think? Or should I just get things moving instead...? Please let me know what you think.

With love, bluestarberry