Kim: WHATS UP! IM UPDATING! YAY ME!!!!! –Runs around squealing-
Edward: calm down!!!!!!
Kim: NOO!!! -glues Ed to the ceiling-
Edward: darn it… Not again
Disclaimer: I own nothing –cry-
Notes: Sorry for grammar errors. Kim wrote this when she was on a major sugar rush and was also overly exited about the Panic! At the disco concert she will be attending in December so she blames them for any grammar errors...Kim also likes talking in 3rd person.
Kim: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 9 DAYS UNTIL I SEE THEM!! –runs around screaming-
Edward: we are sorry for her acting like this…I promise…she will get better.
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This was a bad idea. In fact, this was the worst idea Edward had all summer. Sure the slip and slide down the stairs didn't work, but how was he supposed to know that? And the black cat with a white stripe he bought Al for his birthday, how was he supposed to know that was a skunk!
Edward cringed at the searing pain on his tongue. Getting his tongue pierced had been a terrible idea. Not only did it hurt like hell but also whenever he tried to talk it sounded like 'uhhhhdkjgkflajklmelkflds'. Stupid Al. Its all his fault, Al had sent Ed to the mall to go buy Christmas gifts for everyone and Edward waltzed into the store called 'Claries' and thought it would be a sexy idea to get his tongue pierced. But he was wrong.
Now Edward was walking down the halls to the colonel's office. He spotted the Envy randomly torturing people who walked into Target (AN: it's a store) and thought Roy would want to know and he also had to tell the colonel that Havoc was at the mall ripping off the heads of barbie dolls (AN: crack is whack!).
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"OOOOYYY" Edward attempted yelling as he barged into the colonel's office. Apparently Al was in his office too. Cool! Now Ed could tell all (or attempt too) that Winry was starting a bon fire using his couch!
Roy raised an eye brow and looked at Edward, "excuse me!?" he said quiet confused.
"DAHUMRISTARTORPEMUHE" Edward said rather loudly while throwing his arms in the air, he had to get Roy to stop Envy! Those poor people in Target!
Roy rolled his eyes, "Edward, when referring to me, you must speak English. Not Vietnamese." Edward sighed frustratingly at Roy when all of a sudden Al spoke up, "I believe he said, 'The rain in Spain stays neatly on the flying fire turkey.'"
Edward raised his hands to his temples and Roy just looked confused, "Are you sure that's what he said?"
"Yes" Al replied while Edward glared at him so he tried to say, 'NO I DID NOT SAY THAT!' but it came out more like, "NIDNSYYYYAAT!!!"
Roy just rolled yet again and looked at Al for the Translation.
"He said, "I like pickles with extra salt."" Al told Roy.
Edward gasped, his mouth still open! He didn't even like pickles! Stupid Al. Stupid Jamba Juice. Jamba juice is what did this to him!
Edward decided he just wouldn't talk anymore until his tounge felt better. He looked out the window and saw Envy walking down the sidewalk and walking into the building he was in. OH NO!, Edward thought, I have to warn them! Before Envy unleashes his mega dance skills on us. Apparently Envy tortured his victims with outrageous dance moves.
"ENISHEEEERRRRRRRRRUUFOULF!!!!!" Edward screamed. He feared Envy's dance skills for he had no dance skills at all!
"You like old newspapers and card board boxes?" Al asked.
Edward banged his head against the wall; "ENISHEEEERRRRRRRRRUUFOULF" Edward tried telling them again.
"OH" Al said pointing his finger in the air, "I know what you said, you said "Marshmallows descend upon wicked and smite them with sticks of bamboo.""
Edward looked disbelieving at Al. What the hell was that supposed to mean. What Al was saying has nothing to do with what Ed was saying!
Edward looked at Roy and then at the door. So far Envy hasn't come in with his bomb dance skills. But when he looked at Roy again, he seemingly fell asleep. Stupid Roy.
Edward walked up to the colonel and put his face by the colonels ear and yelled 'Roy wake up!' but it came out more like, "WPUOTER"
Roy jolted up in his seat, "DON'T WARN THE TADPOLES!"
"What tadpoles?"
Roy looked at Al, "The tadpoles that control planet Jupiter."
Edward looked out the window again and noticed Envy leaving. Thank goodness! Now he wasn't going to get owned by mad dance skills, "HORJKLSJO" Ed yelled. He meant to say "YAY" but for whatever reason it came out all deformed.
"We just won world war 45?"
Edward bit his lip, what part of 'horjklsjo' sounded like 'we just won world war 45'. He just sighed. Too bad he didn't have mad healing skills to heal his pierced tongue.
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Kim: I stopped typing cause my hands and fingers are cold…..ITS REALLY COLD!….oh and…reviewers get some Jelly beans if they review!
Edward: -eats reviewers jelly beans-
Kim: DARN YOU ED! –glues him to ceiling again- ok well..i guess you wont get jelly beans so you will have to settle on hot chocolate...EEEEE PANIC! AT THE DISCO -faints-
Ed: we are sorry for her acting like this...she will get help...soon...hopefully...