Hi guys, firstly, a thousand apologies for not updating sooner. Thanks to everyone who wrote to me, asking me to update and telling me how much they've enjoyed the story. You guys have really kicked my ass back into action. So much so that I'm uploading the rest of this story in one go. Yes - let's get this story completed. I've been working on this on and off for the past few months (along with my thesis), and I've been mulling over the story line over and over again, and I've changed bits and pieces each time I've edited it. I've finally decided that I'll stop obsessing over it and just publish it. I would LOVE to hear what you guys think of it. :)

The usual disclaimers apply - and wow, Last Sacrifice. :) If you've read it, please don't write anything in the comments that might give the plot away. Anyway, without further ado, Chapter 13.

Chapter 13

Dimitri's Point of View

It was a blustery spring evening. I could hear Rose, Lissa, Christian and Alberta downstairs chatting around the breakfast table. I sat on the edge of my bed and turned to look at the rumpled sheets. Smiling to myself, I replayed last night in my head. I had contracted a bit of a fever and cold, and she stayed up all night to make sure I had everything I needed – changing my wet cloth, giving me my antibiotics, fetching me some water. I would never have passed her off as the mothering type, but when the situation calls for it, she sure did step up; begrudgingly but stepped up nonetheless. She was truly perfect.

I reached into the drawer of my bedside cabinet and pulled out a little black box. I opened it and in it, was the ring I had bought for Rose a while ago. Tasha and I had bought it together, just before I left for Melbourne. Even back then, I knew Rose was the only one for me. I've been waiting for the right time to propose, and when it finally happened one fateful night whilst we were cruising down the Yarra, Alex's attack had to shock me back into reality.

I took the ring out of the box and turned it around with my finger. Forever and for always. I had those words engraved for her. I smiled sadly. Could I put Rose through this? It wasn't fair that she had to be dragged into my battles with Alex on top of guarding Lissa. I know she would argue otherwise, and I know that if the situation was reversed, there would be no doubt that I would lay my life down for her a million times over.

I reached into the drawer again and this time pulled out a note from Alex.

You two are indestructible together D. The perfect guarding couple, aren't you? Somehow, I will divide and conquer. Until next time, Alex.

Divide and conquer. I wonder what he was going to do. There was no doubt that Rose and I fought well together. We were so in tune with each other and we always had each other's back. And if Alex is planning on driving us apart, he had another thing coming for us. He will not take away the one person I treasure the most.

I replaced the ring and note back into my drawer and closed it. With Lissa's wedding coming up shortly, I wasn't in too much of a hurry to propose to Rose. She had a lot on her plate at the moment, and I really didn't want to steal the limelight from Lissa and Christian's big day. After all, Rose and I have a long life together, what are a few more months?

…

Rose's Point of View

'Should I be concerned with what you're wearing?' Dimitri asked, staring at the little black dress I had squeezed into for Lissa's hen's night. Her wedding was in a week's time. He pulled a polo shirt over himself. I envied how little effort it took for him to look deliciously sexy.

'It's not every day that I get to dress up,' I dusted some bronzer on my cheeks.

'You'll have boys all over you,' there was a slight tinge of jealousy as he walked over and ran his hands down my body. I felt myself ignite and I turned to him. He lowered his lips to mine and I kissed him hungrily, 'I promise I'll be good,'

I paused as our tongues battled, 'Until I come home to you,'

Dimitri chuckled and pulled me closer, his hands sliding to my ass. My dress was short and he easily reached under it, snaking his hands beneath my panties. I felt myself moisten with desire but I couldn't be late for Lissa's party. 'Are you always this good?' I whispered dreamily into his kisses.

He smiled, 'You haven't seen anything yet,'

I laughed as I pulled away from him, 'I can't be late for Lissa,'

He gave me a tight hug and nodded, 'Christian's waiting too,'

We made our way downstairs where the boys had agreed to meet up before heading into town. Adrian, Christian, Eddie, and David were already waiting in the lounge room, Adrian already drinking pre-drinks. Adrian had put faux handcuffs on Christian and even gave him a prisoner number. I laughed at Adrian's ingenuity. The boys looked like they were going to have some fun with Christian tonight. After telling Dimitri to be good – 'Stop being a nag,' Adrian had shot at me – I headed off to Mia's house, where Lissa had decided to get ready at.

Lissa had a light pink dress on when I reached her. She looked ready to go, I just had to put the sash I had prepared for her on – it read 'Bride to be'. She was beaming with excitement as we chatted about our plans tonight – massage and spa parlor, dinner on a cruise ship that will take us around the river, and drinks on the boat complete with strippers and raunchy music, naturally. Mia and Ayeshah looked gorgeous in their dresses and even Alberta dressed up a little bit for the occasion.

It was a fun filled night full of good food, lots of alcohol and good company. There were other Moroi girls and their Guardians that came along as well – friends that Lissa made whilst she was at St. Basile's. For once, no political debates were discussed and everyone was excited about Lissa's upcoming nuptials. I got to know Ayeshah a lot better and found that she was as fun loving and impulsive as I was. Often, we danced together as all the men around us stared at our gyrating hips. I loved being at the centre of attention and so did Ayeshah. In her drunken state, I even managed to squeeze out from her that she has a slight crush on Adrian. It explained all the murderous look she shot at the girls Adrian would bring home.

'But you tell no one,' she whispered fiercely, her words slurring from the excessive amount of alcohol she had consumed. I nodded vehemently and zipped my lips, 'I promise!'

Lissa preferred to hang back and watch us, although I did manage to pull her onto the dance floor every now and then. She refused to take any alcohol, insisting that she didn't want to wake up with a hangover and because I was enjoying getting progressively drunk, I let it be. Despite being sober, she did manage to pull some frisky moves on the dance floor, much to our delight. A memorable moment was when she grabbed a Moroi guy at the bar and asked him to dance. The poor guy didn't know what hit him. We all hooted and encouraged her as she busted out some seriously seductive moves. I'm sure Christian wouldn't have approved. The strippers were a laugh. Lissa's eyes expanded when she saw them and we bought lap dance after lap dance for her, much to her protests. She was clearly embarrassed by hot barely clothed Moroi and Dhampir men giving her so much attention. They were relentless in their torment, much to my delight. Those Australian Dhampirs were tanned and had surf tossed blonde hair. It's a wonder Lissa resisted them!

We finally staggered home at about 3 in the morning. I would have hated to be on duty that night; Alberta and a few other Guardians from St. Basile's had to make sure that we were home safe, all the while battling our drunken laughter. 'You're the best,' Lissa laughed, putting an arm around me, and landed a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I laughed happily, I had had a few drinks but I was nowhere near as wasted as some of the Moroi girls were. It must be something in their genetic makeup because they can't really hold their alcohol as well.

When we reached our home, we heard laughter coming from inside the house. It sounded like Dimitri. He must have stayed up waiting for me, I smiled to myself. When I opened the door, I saw him on the couch with a beautiful dark haired girl. Anger and jealousy coursed through me when I saw her. He had obsessed over how I would tempt boys on Lissa's hen's night and here he was, after a buck's night, with a girl, alone in the house. He turned to look at me and grinned, 'You're finally back,'

I looked at him, confused. He stood up and walked towards me. Placing an arm around me, he turned to the girl and said, 'Katrina, this is Rose,'

And gesturing to Lissa and Alberta, who both had puzzled looks on their faces, said, 'And this is Lissa, Rose's best friend, and Alberta, Lissa's Guardian and a dear friend of ours,'

'Guys, Katrina. She's an old school friend of mine,' he said.

I relaxed significantly until she said, 'Oh we were more than just that Dimka,'

I furrowed my brows, trying to register what she just said, while the alcohol muddled my thoughts. I felt Dimitri stiffen beside me and he didn't respond to what she said.

Lissa sensed the tension in the room so quickly said, 'Look we'll leave you guys to it, it's getting late so I'm going to head to bed. Is Christian home? I hope you didn't get him too drunk,'

Dimitri laughed, 'Adrian was merciless unfortunately, but Christian's in bed now,'

Lissa shook her head in dismay and quickly ran upstairs. Alberta followed suit, retreating to her bedroom, leaving Katrina, Dimitri and I in the lounge room.

'Katrina was at the bar that Adrian picked out for the buck's night. It was such a coincidence,' he explained, turning to look at me again, 'I haven't seen her since we graduated and we ended up talking through the night. I invited her back here because she said she wanted to meet you,'

I gave her a small smile, still wary of her, 'It's nice to meet you,' I wondered what her past relationship with Dimitri was like. 'And you too, Rose,' she smiled at me. It looked more like a smirk to me, but that could have been the alcohol playing tricks with my eyes. I brushed the thought away.

'Well, it's getting late and we probably need to get to bed,' Dimitri announced and Katrina stood up from the couch. She nodded and said, 'I'm sorry; I didn't mean to keep you,'

Dimitri shook his head, 'Don't worry about it, it's so good to see you again. Come, I'll walk you out,'

I stumbled back to my room and into my bed. Dimitri told me he'd join me soon, after he sent her off. I wasn't happy with the arrangement as I was still suspicious of Katrina and her motives but the alcohol was getting to me and I suddenly felt immensely tired. I collapsed on my bed and had a deep dreamless sleep.

…

The next morning I woke up to an empty bed. I frowned as I struggled to recall what happened the night before. I was still clothed in my party clothes. I peeled myself off the bed and stripped down for a shower, head throbbing from all the alcohol I had consumed the previous night. As the cool water rushed down my body, my head filled with thoughts of where Dimitri was and where he had gone. My heart gripped with fear as the image of the dark haired girl in the lounge room surfaced. Maybe he was with her? I wracked my brains for her name… Katie? Katherine? Katerina? Katrina. Panic started to engulf me as I stepped out of the shower, toweling my hair dry.

As it was a Saturday, I pulled on a yellow singlet and my favourite pair of casual jeans. I decided to wear my hair loose. I checked my phone. No messages, no missed calls. This was strange. I furrowed my brows. What if there was a Strigoi attack and Dimitri was hurt? I decided to check his bedroom before over-reacting so I rushed over as fast as I could.

I knocked and peered into the dark room. My heart stopped at the sight in front of me.

'Your girlfriend's here,' Katrina purred, breaking away from what looked like some passionate kissing with Dimitri. He was lying on his bed and Katrina was straddling his hips, wearing close to nothing. There was a mixture of horror and anguish in Dimitri's eyes but I couldn't care less.

'Ex,' I spat, before slamming the door behind me. I vaguely heard Dimitri yell after me, but I ran out of the house as fast as I could, not knowing where I was going to go. Lissa and Christian called after me, but their voices were quickly drowned out by the screaming in my head. It had never crossed my mind that Dimitri would ever cheat on me. I realized how naïve I was. I wanted nothing more than to kill him, and take her down whilst I was at it.

I finally stopped when I reached the edge of the city. I must have run about 10 km without knowing it. My eyes frantically searched the crowds; I didn't know what I was looking for. There were couples everywhere, couples holding hands, couples kissing, couples laughing. Couples in love. Couples, couples, couples. I wanted to scream, but was sure I would be carted off to the nearest psychiatric hospital. My heart was beating wildly, hurting with every beat it took. My phone beeped. It was Lissa. I groaned; her wedding was in a week's time. I knew my seemingly perfect situation would crumble one day, I just didn't think it would crumble like this.

'Hi Liss,' I said, deciding to answer the call and trying my hardest to put my most normal voice on.

'Where are you? Why did you run out?' she asked it.

'Oh, I was just going out to… Get some milk,' I stuttered.

'But we have plenty of milk,' she asked, still confused.

'I… I wanted a different kind of milk,'

Shit Rose, you need to get better at lying! I mentally kicked myself. Milk? Seriously?

'Okay…' Lissa said, still unsure, 'Why did Dimitri run out too?'

Ouch, there went my heart again. 'I don't know, why don't you ask him?' I snapped, a little more harshly than I meant to.

'Did you guys have a fight?'

'What do you mean? Of course not,' I tried to smile sickeningly sweetly into the phone, hoping that she would buy it. In reality, I never felt sicker in my entire life.

'You sound a bit off,'

'It's probably the hangover,' I lied, 'That's why I want this milk that I'm going out for; it's supposed to make me feel better,'

Thankfully, Lissa bought it. 'Well, come home, I'll make you a big American breakfast and hopefully that will help with the hangover too. Besides, Ayeshah's got some disgusting tea that's supposed to be a sure remedy for hangovers!' She sounded chirpy. And why wouldn't she? She was getting married in a week's time; she had the time of her life last night; she had a loving, doting fiancé. She had everything going for her. I couldn't help but feel bitter at all her good fortune. I tried to push those negative feelings away, but the unfairness of the situation left a horrible taste in my mouth. I knew it wasn't her fault, but some part of me felt like taking it out on her.

'No, I'm okay. I'll just walk it off or something. I'll see you later,' I said quickly, and promptly hung up on her. I wasn't sure how long I could continue the charade otherwise. Besides, I wasn't in the mood for her to mother me. Whilst a part of me resented her good fortune, another part of me didn't want to rain on her parade and ruin her wedding. She wouldn't understand what it's like to have a broken heart anyway. My phone beeped again. I looked at it – it was Dimitri. My heart squeezed painfully and I felt like I was going to fall apart from all the pain in my heart. I cancelled it and kept walking into the crowds.

A few seconds later, my phone buzzed again. It was Dimitri again. I cancelled his call; I didn't want to hear his excuses. The image of Katrina straddling Dimitri was burnt into my memory and every time I thought about it all I wanted to do was kill; kill, scream, cry. I started to run again; it seemed as though my mind would only stay still if I was running. So I ran, and ran, until I reached the Botanical Gardens, just on the southern side of the city. I wandered around the trees. The air was damp from the spring rain.

I found myself a secluded spot, beside the lake, and sank down on my knees. Dimitri was calling again. I rocked myself as my tears fell rapidly onto the ground in front of me. I felt like I was spiraling into a deep, dark hole and couldn't clamber my way out of it. I tried to muffle my sobs; I didn't need other couples taking pity on me. Birds chirped happily around me; one tried to hop closer to me, but I gave it a death stare and that, combined with my natural Dhampir aura was enough to send it screeching back into the trees. Even the birds were feeling sorry for me, I thought bitterly as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to comfort myself.

My phone beeped again. I was sick of Dimitri trying to call by now and went to turn it off when I saw who it was.

'Hi,' I breathed softly, trying to control my sobbing, hoping he wouldn't pick it from the other end.

'You're crying,' Adrian stated matter-of-factly.

I sighed, tired of fighting it now, 'How can you read me so well?'

I could almost see him grin on the other side, 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing,'

'People don't cry when nothing is wrong,'

'Nothing is wrong; I'm just… Tired,'

'You cry when you're tired? You're weird,' he teased. I cracked a small smile and didn't say anything. I wasn't quite sure what to say to him.

'So are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?' he demanded.

'What do you mean?'

'Are you going to tell me where you are and what is wrong or am I going to have to enlist my powerful Spirit magic to extract the truth out of you?' he said dramatically. Despite myself, I chuckled.

'Let's see how powerful your Spirit is then,'

'Don't tempt me,' he warned, jokingly and I smiled, wiping my tears away.

'I'm at the Botanical Gardens,'

'I'm coming to get you,' and he hung up. I sighed. I knew how well Adrian could read auras – he would figure me out immediately. I hated that there was no hiding things from Spirit users; I could use some privacy at times like this. At the same time, I was relieved that there would be someone for me to talk to; Adrian would understand. Guilt filled me – it wasn't that Lissa wouldn't understand. She should be focusing on her upcoming nuptials, not worrying about how I would cope with this latest installment in the Rose-Dimitri drama.

I lay down on the grass, face turned towards the sky. The sun was setting, and the trees were lit with an eerie moonlit glow. I knew the Gardens weren't the safest place to be because of the lack of Guardians and the wards wouldn't extend out this far, but I was far from caring. Besides, I dared any Strigoi to attempt an attack on me; I would make minced meat out of the whole lot of them.

Half an hour later, all the bitterness and anger that had engulfed me previously slowly receded and in their place, a dull ache resided. I thought back to the happy memories that Dimitri and I shared and tears started to fill my eyes again. I willed myself to stay strong and to not think about him.

'There you are,' a voice startled me. I jumped up, only to see Adrian approach me. His hair was disheveled and his eyes, bloodshot. He must have had a big night of drinking last night. It didn't surprise me. I mustn't have looked any better because he looked at me strangely, 'Your aura's black,'

I turned my face away from him, trying to conceal my swollen eyes.

'Turning away is not going to hide your aura,' he said gently, 'it's Dimitri isn't it?' he guessed and my shoulders drooped with resignation.

'He was kissing someone else,' I whispered. It sounded dirtier when I said it out loud and I immediately wanted to take it back, somehow hoping that if I didn't verbalize it, it might not be real. Adrian was silent, either lost in his thoughts or waiting for me to continue.

'I went home last night and he was at his place with this woman, Katrina,'

'He met her at the bar last night; he said she was an old school friend,' Adrian said. I nodded, 'That's what he told me last night too. He said he brought her back because she wanted to meet me. Then he walked her out… said he'd join me soon,' I felt a lump form in my throat as I continued, 'When I got up today, he wasn't there… I thought I'd check his room and…'

I couldn't continue. I was fighting a losing battle with my emotions as fresh tears started to fall again. Adrian put an arm around me and rubbed my back silently, trying to offer as much comfort and moral support as he could. 'She was on top of him, pretty much naked… on his bed,' I choked out; my body was shaking with my sobs and Adrian held onto me, stroking my hair.

'Have you talked to him about it?' he asked after a while.

'I never want to see him again,' I declared vehemently.

He held me at arm's length and looked into my eyes, 'Do you trust him?'

'How can I? Haven't you been listening to anything I've said?'

He shook his head, 'Do you trust him? It could have been a misunderstanding,'

'She was on top of him. They were kissing. If I hadn't barged in, I don't know what else they would have done,' I yelled at Adrian, frustrated that he wasn't standing on my side, not entirely.

'Rose,' Adrian rolled his eyes, 'I have never seen anyone more in love with each other than you two; and that's saying a lot especially when Christian and Lissa are joined by the hip most of the time. Don't think that I'm sticking up for Belikov. You and I both know that I'm not his biggest fan, but it kills me to see you so upset. You need to talk to him, find out the truth. We'll come up with a battle plan from there,'

I stared at him murderously. The sensible part of me knew that he was right, that I should talk to Dimitri but all I wanted to do at that moment was to scream bloody murder and go on a Strigoi killing spree, or better still, a Dimitri-Katrina killing spree.

'Pity there aren't any Strigois around here for you to massacre,' Adrian said amused, clearly reading my aura accurately again. I yelled out in frustration, punching a tree next to me. I heard my bones crack and pain shot through me. Adrian looked on in surprise, before restraining me, 'Are you out of your mind?'

I relished the searing pain that came from my knuckles. They started to bleed and I smiled masochistically at them. Worry etched across Adrian's face, 'we're getting you to Lissa, come on,'

I laughed; I felt like I was losing my mind. The physical pain took away the ache that was in my heart. I could see Adrian growing increasingly worried about my mental state but I couldn't care less. I was adamant on reducing the hurt and anger within me so I pulled away from him, and landed another punch on the tree. My knuckles bled even more and I relished the pain that came with it. I could hear Adrian frantically texting away in the background. I spun around and looked at him, 'Please don't tell Lissa,' I begged. He stared at me, eyes filled with worry and concern.

'She's getting married in a week; she can't know,' I begged, my eyes imploring his. He shook his head in disbelief, 'Do you seriously think she cares about that when you're hurting the way you are?'

I was silent. 'She's your best friend, is she not?' he continued to demand, 'So why the hell do you keep things from her?'

I gulped, 'She doesn't need to worry about me,'

'You seriously need to stop acting like you're some kind of mighty protector, Rose. You need to stop denying yourself support,'

'Look what happens when I trust!' I lashed out at him.

'She's your best friend; not some Russian gallivanting around! If this happened to her, a week before your wedding day, would you want her to come to you? Or would you want her to suffer in silence? Acting like some kind of martyr? Yes Rose, a martyr. That's what you're trying to be, when there is absolutely no need for it! There are plenty of people who care about you!'

I was shocked at his reprimand and didn't protest when he dragged me away from the gardens into a taxi. I stared sulkily out of the window of the taxi as it sped us home. He was right; I knew it but would never admit it to him.

'I'm not going back to mine,' I declared stubbornly.

'Okay, you'll stay at mine then,' he declared, equally stubbornly as he rang for Lissa.

When Lissa arrived and saw me, I was awash with a heap of her conflicting emotions – surprise, concern, fear, sadness, confusion…

She dragged me into Adrian's room and immediately proceeded to heal my knuckles. I felt the warm tingly feeling flowing through me and it provided some relief to all the emotions raging in me. She fired a million questions at me but I was mentally too exhausted to answer them. Adrian, bless him, relayed what happened to Lissa and once again, her emotions flooded me; only this time, her feelings of betrayal, anger, hurt and sorrow were congruent with mine, empowering and validating my own feelings, making me hate Dimitri even more.

Like Adrian, Lissa insisted that I talk to Dimitri. Silently, I agreed that it was the most sensible thing to do but I didn't feel like I was going to be ready to see him. We agreed that I would stay at Adrian's that night, and confront Dimitri tomorrow. Lissa insisted on staying with me. Eddie was going to be over at Mia's, so there wouldn't be a problem with me taking his room.

Lissa rang Dimitri to tell him.

'I need to speak to her,' he was yelling down the phone but Lissa kept her stance, 'She doesn't want to speak to you. She'll see you tomorrow evening, 7.00 p.m., down at the park. I hope you have a good reason,' and she hung up, before giving him a chance to reply.

I had much trouble sleeping that night. I tossed and turned in Eddie's bed, keeping Lissa awake at the same time. Every time I tried closing my eyes, I saw Katrina and Dimitri in that compromising position and bile would rise up in my throat. I felt an urgency to confront him, to ask him for the truth and at the same time, I was cowering from him, despairing to hear the worst news. I never thought I'd experience the same amount of anguish as I did when Dimitri decided to leave me for Tasha but here it was again, back and stronger than before. I had no more tears to cry that night; my eyes were dry. Occasionally, I would drift into sleep, only to be jolted out of it again. It was a shame that Lissa could only heal physical wounds. I sighed deeply and suddenly felt a rush of nausea. My eyes flew open – Strigoi! I instinctively reached out for my silver stake and as silently as possible, crept out of bed, not wanting to disturb Lissa any more than I already had.

My eyes flickered around the room cautiously but could sense nothing unusual. I peered out of the window; it was bright daylight. Strange, I thought. No Strigoi would survive in the midday sun. But another wave of nausea hit me and I spun around, searching the room more meticulously than before. I edged myself closer to the door, but could feel nothing. Usually, the nausea intensified as I got closer to Strigoi. This time, it lingered at the back of my throat, neither intensifying nor dissipating.

A noise startled me and I jumped, swiftly turning around. It was only Lissa, scrambling out of bed. She rushed to the toilet and started to throw up. I rushed to her and held her hair back as she retched into the toilet bowl.

'What's wrong?' I asked, concerned. She didn't even have any alcohol the night before; besides, even if she had some without me knowing, hangovers usually only last for a day.

She shook her head, breathing heavily. After flushing the toilet, she made her way to the sink to wash her mouth.

'But you didn't even drink…'

She looked at me and almost laughed. I stared back at her quizzically, 'Are you hiding something from me?'

She looked away from me. I knew she was trying to conceal her feelings of joy that was bubbling through her. 'Are you pregnant?' I decided to take a shot in the dark.

She looked at me surprised, 'How did you…?'

'Oh my God Liss, how could you not tell me?' I screamed, delighted for her, but at the same time painfully aware of the sinking feeling in my stomach.

'I was going to tell you today… But after everything that happened between you and Dimitri… I didn't know how to tell you…,' she said guiltily.

'Don't be an idiot you silly goose! You're pregnant; I'm going to be an aunt!'

She could barely contain her joy. She truly had it all, I thought bitterly but quickly tried to silence the thought. I wasn't going to let my selfish feelings ruin things for her.

'How did I not know about this sooner?' I wondered, referring to our bond, thinking that I would have known when she first found out about it.

'I've been learning to block my emotions and also to dissipate some of that darkness that comes with Spirit,' she explained, 'Macca's been teaching me how to block my emotions from you, because I told him how much pain it put you through. He's suggested meditation. I've tried it once or twice but haven't really put much thought into it,'

'First, Liss, I don't care about experiencing your emotions – it makes my job easier remember? And why would you want to block them from me?' I asked, hurt. I felt like I was being abandoned by my best friend, like she didn't need me anymore. I thought we shared everything together.

'It's not like that Rose,' Lissa said gently, reaching out to hold my hands, 'I don't want you to have to take away the darkness from me all the time; I don't want you to have to deal with my crap all the time,'

'But I can do it,' I insisted.

'I know you can, but I don't want my crap to rule your life. Why should it? You already have to worry about keeping me safe; you shouldn't have to worry about keeping me sane as well. I told you, I want to be able to look out for you the same way you constantly look out for me. Besides, you don't need to be dragged into intimate activities that involve Christian,' she blushed and I laughed out loud, 'that is true,'

'And besides, when I need help, I'll lower the floodgates,'

I nodded, 'And two, meditation? Isn't that like hippy stuff?'

Lissa laughed, 'Well, sort of I guess. It's not so bad Rose. It helps me focus and find peace within myself. I'm still really crap at it, but I'll give it a go once all this craziness around me dies down,'

I looked at her and hugged her tight, 'You don't have to worry about me, Liss. I'm fine, I'm always fine,'

'I will kill him for you,' Lissa said passionately. I laughed at the image of Lissa hunting Dimitri down, 'Don't worry about me,'

'Adrian was right,' she said, pulling away from me, 'You don't let people in enough,' she said, slightly hurt, 'We care about you; you don't have to do everything on your own,'

I turned away from her and shrugged, 'I'm just used to it, I guess,'

She let the topic drop as she sensed my reluctance to talk about it further. I tucked myself back into bed and Lissa slid in beside me. I rolled over to my side, further indicating my reluctance to talk. I could feel her eyes bore into my back and her concern for me was evident. I felt like I was shutting myself out to the whole world, but couldn't do anything about it. It felt like the less I gave away of myself, the less I would be hurt. I shut my eyes and tried to convince myself that there had to be an explanation for what happened between Dimitri and Katrina, there had to be.