Chapter 15

Rose's Point of View

Dimitri and I avoided each other in the days leading up to the wedding. I eventually moved back into my room but I avoided Dimitri at all cost – which wasn't easy, considering his bedroom was right next to mine! There were nights when I laid in bed, thinking about him, thinking about what he's doing, thinking about whether Katrina is next door with him. I never heard any noises from his room, so either they were being really quiet and sneaky, or he just wasn't home. Thinking about Katrina made me angry, and anger was so much easier to deal with than the painful throbbing in my heart that would surface when my anger subsided.

Lissa tried to reason with me, 'Don't you think it's ridiculous for Dimitri to sleep with someone he's only met for one night? He's so… Reasonable, so composed, so logical all the time. It just doesn't make sense,'

'He's known her since high school!' I said bitterly, refusing to contemplate the idea that there could be another explanation.

Lissa let out a growl of frustration, 'URGH, Rose, you can be so stubborn sometimes! There's got to be a reason; you're just refusing to see it! Besides, you're now at fault too!'

My eyes clouded over with anger, 'Lissa, choose your side carefully; I wouldn't have slept with Adrian if that slimy bastard didn't sleep with that bitch first!'

'You don't know he slept with her!'

'Lissa, this conversation is over!' I shouted as I stormed back into my room, fuming at the fact that Lissa was standing up for Dimitri. I refused to speak to her for the rest of the day after that, but seeing how I was her Guardian and wedding planner, the plan to not ever speak to her again didn't really work out. 'I'll speak to you only if you stop talking about him,' that was my olive branch. Lissa merely rolled her eyes at me and mumbled, 'whatever,' She was clearly tired of arguing with me too.

I grew increasingly nauseous and cursed Lissa each time I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. I had caught Dimitri eyeing me suspiciously a few times when I ran to the bathroom. I had no idea what his problem was, but I was too consumed with wedding plans to care. I was extremely concerned about the security at the wedding, especially as my Strigoi-meter was unreliable. I spent nights obsessing over the floor plan of the wedding venue, trying to figure out possible loopholes for Strigoi to attack. It kept me busy, which was a welcome distraction from my chaotic love life and my heart that seemed to break every time I get a glimpse of Dimitri, even from a distance. I cursed myself for being weak and susceptible, but no amount of swearing and willpower seemed to convince my heart to stop longing for him. Every time I even contemplated that there may be a reason for his behavior, I only had to look at the photo on my phone and all reason would leave me.

Rumors about my one night stand with Adrian quickly spread through the St. Basile community. I was thankful that we were in Australia and not back in America; otherwise Tatiana finding out that I had slept with her precious nephew would have made my life even more complicated. She wasn't planning on attending Lissa and Christian's wedding, which bothered nobody, but I thought was poor performance on her part. To her, it was a case of out of sight, out of mind. I couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she finds out that Lissa is pregnant. Even though we were miles away from America, Tatiana couldn't really ignore us forever.

Adrian did nothing to quell the rumors; in fact, he seemed to enjoy them. Aside from Dimitri, Ayeshah didn't appreciate the rumors either.

'Ayeshah!' I called out to her one day, wanting to explain the situation to her. She turned around and looked at me resentfully, before retreating back into the crowds of Moroi heading towards the feeders at St. Basile.

'Shit!' I took out my frustration on a nearby table, kicking it hard. I knew about her growing crush on Adrian and now it looked like I had just gone and ruined her chances for her. I grew increasingly secluded and chose to obsess over the wedding preparations instead. I avoided Adrian as much as I avoided Dimitri; not knowing how to face him after what happened. Lissa tried to coax me out of my increasing depression, but I pushed her away each time, telling her that I was too busy to go shopping or to have a coffee with her. It was the first time I was grateful for being given the role of wedding planner.

Lissa and Christian's wedding day arrived before I knew it. Lissa, Ayeshah, Mia and I were getting ready in the Langham Hotel, in a suite that she and Christian would spend their first night as a married couple together. The Langham was glitzy and expensive; something I would never be able to afford on my Guardian wage. Alberta, Dimitri and I had separate rooms on the floor beneath their suite so we could continue our guarding duties – some of the perks of guarding super rich Morois. I felt Lissa's joy through our bond. She must have trouble blocking out strong feelings, I thought to myself, smiling sadly, because as much as I felt her joy, I also felt her internal struggle to contain it for my sake.

'Let it go,' I said as I waited for Lissa's stylist to finish putting her hair up, 'You don't have to compromise how happy you feel just because of me, I would never expect that of you,'

She looked at me sadly, 'I'm so sorry Rose,'

'Stop it, Liss. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me, I'm tired of arguing with you about it. I want you to be happy; it means the world to me,'

She gave me a small smile, 'Well, if it's okay with you, I'd really like it if you gave me away,'

I broke out into a grin, 'Of course,' and she leaned over to hug me happily, much to the frustration of her stylist, 'Princess, you need to sit still!'

Putting my maid-of-honor dress on proved to be a difficult task as I remembered how Dimitri had reacted to it when I modeled it for him. It took all my resolve to stop myself from choking up and breaking down into uncontrollable sobs. Composing myself, I put on some simple make up. It was a spring wedding after all; there was no need for a dramatic look. Lissa had hired a make-up artist for all of us girls but I preferred to do my own make up; at least I had total control over what it looked like. Lissa called me a control freak. Ayeshah ignored me the whole time which was painful, considering the blossoming friendship between the two of us. Mia sat nervously between the two of us, trying to make small talk and establish some truce between the two of us, but at the same time being highly aware of the unspoken tension. I wasn't sure if Lissa sensed the animosity that Ayeshah had for me; but if she did, she didn't mention it, thankfully.

After two hours, Ayeshah, Mia and I were all dressed and ready to go. I helped Lissa into her wedding dress and she truly looked like a princess. 'Christian should thank his lucky stars every night,' I smiled at her and she squeezed my hand gratefully. She was extremely excited and nervous at the same time and I felt it clearly; she was obviously not going to practice blocking her emotions on her wedding day; I just hoped that I don't get dragged into their first night together as husband and wife.

I left her soon after and made my way towards the Botanical Gardens to look after the guests that were starting to arrive – it's not easy juggling being a Guardian (sure, I was off duty, but technically, you never stop being a Guardian), maid-of-honor and wedding planner extraordinaire. I was relieved that so far, everything was going to plan and the seating arrangements were working out for everyone. Tasha saw me and called out for. I waved to her and she walked over, excitedly, 'Rose! You look absolutely gorgeous!'

'Thanks, Tasha, you look beautiful yourself,' I said genuinely, giving her a hug, 'Wait until you see Lissa,'

'Oh, I am so excited about this! I can't believe my little nephew is getting married already; it seemed like yesterday when he was just a baby!' she exclaimed, nostalgia consuming her. A tall light brown haired man strode up to us and put his arm around Tasha. I raised my eyebrows knowingly at her and she giggled. I laughed nervously – Tasha always seemed too grown up to giggle.

'This is Angus,' she introduced, 'He's the Guardian that Dimitri helped pick for me; and it turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me,' she looked radiant with happiness.

'Hi, I'm Rose, Lissa's Guardian,' I introduced.

'Pleased to meet you Rose,' he smiled, eyes crinkling on his sides, much like the way Dimitri's did. He had light green eyes and looked like they were constantly laughing. He squeezed Tasha's shoulders affectionately and through her expression, I knew she was head over heels in love with him.

'She's more than just Lissa's Guardian,' Tasha expanded, 'She's Janine Hathaway's only daughter; and the love of Dimitri's life,' she teased. I blushed furiously, she mustn't have known about the latest development in our relationship.

Angus' eyes widened when Tasha informed him of who my mother was, 'Wow; I finally get to meet Rose Hathaway. I've heard a lot about you; you're steadily gaining as much of a reputation as your mother!'

I blushed, 'Thanks; I'm sure people exaggerate their stories,'

'Oh shut up Rose,' Tasha chided, 'you're one of the best, don't be modest; it's not you,'

I laughed loudly at this and after making some additional small talk, excused myself so I could continue to busy myself with my biggest concern about the wedding – security. I briefed the Guardians on duty and personally checked all the wards.

'You're bordering on obsession,' Alberta chided, a slight hint of annoyance evident in her tone. She was the Captain for the Guardian team today.

'I'm sorry Alberta; it's not that I don't trust you to do an excellent job… I just… I just want this to be perfect for Lissa,' I explained. Her frown softened, 'I know, but you have to stop worrying so much; take it easy, enjoy the day,'

She must have noticed my increasing obsession with making Lissa's wedding day perfect. It was as if I was trying to compensate for my shambled love life by making Lissa's day perfect. I couldn't help it; at least one of us is happy, I thought miserably as Alberta shooed me away from her team.

It was a beautiful summer's evening for a wedding; it was warm, but a light breeze was slowly sifting through. Lissa and Christian were scheduled to say their vows just as the sun would set, making it a perfect moment for the photographers I had hired to capture. I stood beside the gazebo as I watched the guests start to stream in; the table I had set out for presents was slowly buckling under the weight of the gifts. I checked my watch nervously; my parents were due to arrive soon and in an hour, the ceremony will start.

The familiar feeling of bile started to rise at the back of my throat. My initial response was to reach out for my silver stake, but after searching frantically for Alberta and being reassured by her, I rushed to the toilet. Alberta gave me a queer look, 'Are you pregnant?' she asked bluntly. She wasn't deaf to the rumors of my shameful night with Adrian. She was one of the few people who knew about Dimitri and I, and despite her close friendship with Dimitri, she never expressed her opinions to me, preferring not to take sides. I shook my head as I quickly rushed off. 'Lissa!' I yelled out, hoping that would explain it to her. The idea of being pregnant with Adrian's child horrified me; as if my life wasn't complicated enough.

After washing my mouth, I decided to head back to the hotel to check on Lissa. As I rushed into the elevator, a crumpled piece of paper lying on the floor caught my eye. Someone must have dropped it. Opening it up, it read: D, some trouble in paradise at last? I'll be seeing you soon, Alex.

I felt my blood run cold. Even Alex knew about Katrina. My heart plummeted and felt like retreating back to my room to hide for all eternity. I re-read the note before folding it in half. There was something unnerving about it. At last? What was that supposed to mean? It almost seemed as though Alex had… Anticipated it.

My mind was already full with wedding preparations so I shook it off and walked towards Dimitri's room, where I knew the boys would be getting ready. I wondered how handsome Dimitri would look in his suit and the contractions in my heart started up again.

'What do you want?' Eddie poked his head around the door.

'Why so secretive?' I said, amused, 'It's usually the bride who's all shy and restrained,'

Eddie laughed, 'Christian is having trouble gelling his hair; he doesn't want anyone to see it until he gets it right,'

I laughed, 'Sparky, turning vain aren't you?'

'Piss off, Rose!' was his agitated reply.

I grinned at Eddie and looked down at the piece of paper in my hand, 'I think this belongs to Dimitri – I found it on the floor; tell him that he should be more careful,'

'Why don't you tell him yourself? Here, I'll call him over,'

'No!' I said a little too hastily, grabbing onto Eddie's arm, 'Just give it to him,' I said, as I pushed the note into his hand. I spun around quickly on my heels and ran towards the elevator to take me to Lissa's suite, leaving Eddie bewildered and confused.

'Ayeshah!' I exclaimed as I rounded the corner, nearly running into her. She stumbled backwards and I caught her quickly, 'Ayeshah, we need to talk,'

She narrowed her eyes at me but stayed silent. 'Ayeshah, please. What happened between Adrian and I, I didn't mean for it… I was… Look, I had just broken up with Dimitri and I was terribly upset…' I begged. Talking about Dimitri again was making me tear up. So much for being a strong Guardian.

'What? You broke up with Dimitri?' she said incredulously. I nodded forlornly. It wasn't a surprise as I had been holed up in my room preparing for the wedding all week, and not really filling everyone in with the latest developments in Rose's love life. Besides, I didn't think Adrian, Lissa or Christian would be the gossiping type, 'It's a long story and this is probably not the best day to talk about it because Lissa's getting married in less than an hour… But, look. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. It was an accident; a horrible, terrible accident and me breaking up with Dimitri is not an excuse for doing what I did,'

She looked at me sadly, 'I'm sure whatever you're going through with Dimitri can be worked out; you guys love each other so much,'

I thought I was going to crumble in her arms but I composed myself and forced a brave smile, 'let's go, we need to go calm Lissa's nerves, they're driving me insane,'

Lissa was pacing the room when I got to her. 'Are we too young?' she exclaimed when I walked through the door, 'How does he know I'm the one for him? What if this is too fast?'

'Lissa, as much as the boy drives me insane at times, I know one thing is for sure. He loves you, you're his world and more,' I tried to reassure her, holding on to her so she would stop pacing, 'you're about to have a family together. I know he'll love you with all his heart, and if he doesn't, I'll break every bone in his body,'

That managed to make her smile a little. She nodded to herself, 'You're right, you're always right. I can do this…' and after pausing for a while, she said, 'Do I look okay?'

'Are you kidding? You look absolutely gorgeous,' I smiled radiantly at her and she gave me a quick hug. I told Mia and Ayeshah to look out for the boys and to make sure that the coast was clear before I shuffled Lissa into the limousine that was waiting for us. I knew Christian would try to sneak a look at Lissa beforehand and I wasn't going to let it happen. Fortunately, the coast was clear and we all piled into the limousine, barely able to contain our excitement.

When we reached the place, I took a quick peek at the altar and Christian was standing there, his back turned towards me. His hair looked fine from where I was standing; he must have managed to fix it in time. Eddie, Dimitri and Adrian also had their backs turned towards me; looking like a row of men in black. I saw my parents sitting close to the front and Tasha was whispering to my mum excitedly. I gave the first violinist the signal and the violins started to play. The boys turned around as I quickly sneaked back around to where Lissa, Mia and Ayeshah were waiting. As the melodic tunes of Canon in D started, Ayeshah lead the procession, followed by Mia, walking slowly and steadily towards the gazebo where Christian was standing with his groomsmen. Lissa had a death grip on my arm and I tried to soothe her nerves.

'You know I'll always be here for you,' I said and I could see a tear start to form in the corner of her eye. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting to ruin her make-up.

'Thank you,' she sniffled, 'For being the very best,'

I grinned at her, 'Come on, time to become Mrs. Ozera,'

She let out a small squeal of excitement and we started our walk towards the gazebo. Everyone stood up as I lead Lissa through. I could see the sun starting to set in the background, lending an orange glow that was reflected on the lake. It couldn't be more beautiful, more perfect. Christian looked dazed as we walked towards him, like he couldn't believe his luck. Dimitri looked more than handsome. The golden rays of the sun lit up behind him and he looked even more like a Russian God. He must have cut his hair because it was no longer in a ponytail. There was a hint of stubble around his face and I longed for him to rub it against my body. He looked even more rugged than he usually did, even sexier than I remembered him to be. His face was unreadable as usual, but when our eyes met, it was electric. I wondered if he was thinking about the night I put the dress on for him because I sure as hell was. I was suddenly engulfed with an overwhelming sense of loss. I missed the cheeky banter between us, his stern looks when I misbehaved, his long lectures on life, death and everything in between. He was undoubtedly, irrevocably the love of my life.

Lissa's excitement bubbled through me, making my stomach flip inside but maybe it was Dimitri's intense gaze on me that made my stomach flip as well. I tore my eyes away from him, knowing that if I looked at him anymore, I would trip over myself or do something incredibly embarrassing. It would just be my luck for something like that to happen. I smiled at my parents as we neared the end of the walk – thank God, it was starting to get too long for my liking. They beamed proudly at Lissa and I and I heard them whisper their congratulations loudly. Parents, aren't they embarrassing? They could've waited until the ceremony was over. As if she cared about congratulations right now!

I gave Lissa's hand to Christian, who looked like he was about to tear up.

'Remember, be good,' I warned, 'or else,' and I drew my fingers across my throat.

'You always know how to ruin the moment,' Christian rolled his eyes at me, snatching Lissa's hand from mine. I stuck my tongue out at him, much to the horror of the pastor.

I quickly took my place beside Lissa as the pastor stared me down. He should seriously lighten up; it's not his wedding. He droned on and on about duty and protection; I tried to stifle a yawn. It may be my best friend's wedding, but sermons still bore me. I took the opportunity to survey my hard work. Lissa had wanted doves to be released but I refused; animals hated me, what chance did I have of securing doves to release at her wedding? Aside from the lack of doves, everything turned out brilliantly. Everyone was seated at their tables and looked like they were getting along. There were fairy lights strung up everywhere, waiting to be lit up as soon as the sun went down. The faint scent of lilies was in the air and birds chirped in the distance. Lissa and Christian said their vows and when the pastor declared that Christian could kiss his bride, the photographers went crazy snapping away at them – I'm sure Lissa would have a fun time going through them, picking out her favourite.

The celebrations started after Christian and Lissa were declared husband and wife. The wine flowed and food was loaded onto our plates. Lissa, Christian and their bridal party all sat together on one table; which meant that I spent most of the night avoiding looking at Dimitri. Adrian sat beside me and draped his arm around me, much to Ayeshah's annoyance I was sure. I looked at her apologetically and she gave me a small smile. The fairy lights lit up the place beautifully and the candles on the tables lit up everyone's faces. There was wine, music and dancing. I leaned back in my chair, satisfied at how well I was able to pull this wedding off. Lissa and Christian must have one hell of an inheritance because all this didn't come cheap.

'Good job, Rose,' Christian said, raising his glass towards me, 'Maybe you can give up your job as a Guardian,'

'A thank you would've been enough,' I said sarcastically. He laughed, obviously not in the mood to continue bantering with me, 'Thank you, very much,'

'Care for a dance?' Adrian leaned in and whispered dangerously close to my ear, making me jump slightly in my seat. He grinned at me, and offered his hand out. I looked at Ayeshah and she urged me silently. I shrugged and took Adrian's hand. It was a slow song and Adrian held me close as we waltzed on the dance floor. There were a few wolf whistles but I willed myself to control my temper and not break some necks.

'Now isn't this nice?' Adrian said, resting his head against mine. Yeah it was nice, if it wasn't for the fact that I didn't feel anything but friendship for him, that Ayeshah would be more suitable in my current position and that Dimitri was pissed off and looked like he was going to punch something.

From the depths of my stomach, I felt my dinner start to rise within me. Oh damn! I tried to swallow it down to no avail. I quickly broke away from Adrian and rushed to the bathroom. I saw Dimitri scrape his seat back to come after me as Adrian called out for me. I retched into the toilet bowl in what must have been the most unladylike display ever.

'Rose?' my mum pushed open the door to the cubicle. Great.

'Are you okay?' she enquired. I nodded, wiping my mouth clean, 'Lissa's pregnant and I seemed to have gotten all her symptoms,'

Her eyes opened wide with excitement, 'Lissa's pregnant?'

'Shh!' I told her, clasping a hand over her mouth, 'I don't know if she wants to announce it yet; but yeah she is. And I'm stuck with vomiting! I'm getting the raw end of the whole shadow-kissed thing,'

'Don't say that,' my mum said sternly, 'it gives you an edge as a Guardian,'

I rolled my eyes at her, 'Yeah, it's nice to see you too mum. Besides, it's not always about work!'

I made my way back to my table. 'What happened?' Adrian demanded.

'You know… Pregnant,' I whispered, nodding inconspicuously at Lissa. 'Ah…' Adrian nodded, understanding.

'WHAT?' Dimitri yelled, drawing the attention of nearby guests. He was staring murderously at me, as if I had committed the worse crime in the world. A vein was throbbing dangerously on the side of his forehead.

'Hey, what's with the yelling?' I hissed at him.

Lissa looked up at the two of us, alarmed. Dimitri narrowed his eyes at me, 'What did you say before?'

'Hey, what's with the yelling?' I repeated. Was he stupid or what?

'Before that!' he was clearly frustrated.

'That's none of your business!' I declared. I wasn't about to announce Lissa's massive news to the world, 'Besides, stop ruining the party,'

His eyes went black, like the soul had been sucked out of him. He stared at me coldly and quietly said, 'I can't believe you'd do this,'

He stormed off into the masses as I stared after him, my jaw open with disbelief. His mood swings were seriously worse than Lissa's hormones.

'Freaking talk about moody!' I declared, taking my seat beside Lissa, exasperated, 'and I think you've learned to transfer your morning sickness type thing to me; here you are eating lobsters, whilst the smell of it is enough to make me sick,'

Lissa looked at me apologetically, 'It's amazing; I don't know how. You must have taken it away because I don't feel the least bit sick. I'm so sorry though. I've heard that lime makes it better?'

'I'm not going to suck on a fucking lime!' I declared as I pushed my plate away. The smell was enough to send me back to the toilet. 'Don't worry, the doctor said it should only last for a few weeks at the start,' Lissa said.

'How long is 'a few weeks'?'

Lissa shrugged, 'I would imagine 3-4 weeks, but it's been more than that, so I don't know,'

'You've been pregnant for more than a month and you didn't tell me?' I hissed at her.

She looked at me apologetically, 'we didn't want to get too excited about it and the doctor said that there was a high chance of miscarriage in the first few weeks because of Spirit; I wanted to make sure before telling you,'

I furrowed my brows. Maybe if she stopped using Spirit to block me out, she wouldn't be too worried about losing the baby, I thought bitterly. But, how could I stay angry at her? 'It's okay. As long as you and the baby are safe now,' I smiled, 'when are you going to announce the news?'

'Soon,' Lissa said excitedly. Christian squeezed her hand and they looked lovingly at each other. I turned away, not wanting to be witness to their exchange of affection. I looked out towards the dance floor and Mia and Eddie were dancing together, gazing into each others' eyes. A small smile played on my lips. They looked cute together, especially when they tried so hard to make everyone think that their relationship was merely experimental, and nothing too serious.

Ayeshah and Adrian were debating heatedly about something political. It looked more like Ayeshah was debating and Adrian was merely goading her on, riling her up. I could see from the amused expression he was wearing that he was enjoying it. She, on the other hand, was exasperated at his blasé nature.

I saw my dad stride towards our table and I beamed at him. 'How are you?' he said, resting a hand on the back of my chair, 'Found a boyfriend yet?'

I made sure my smile never faltered as I shook my head. 'What's wrong with men these days? Are they blind or what?' he teased. It made me laugh. He sat down beside me, 'don't worry, it'll be your wedding day soon enough,'

I rolled my eyes at him, 'I'm too interested in fighting; no guy is going to want that,'

'Their loss,' he shrugged. Pulling me up from my seat, he said, 'Come, give your old dad a dance,' I got up reluctantly; I had stayed away from the dance floor for most of the night because I wasn't in the mood for dancing and the nausea in my stomach wasn't helping.

'Something bothering you?' dad asked intuitively as he led me to the dance floor.

I shook my head and flashed him my brightest smile, 'I'm all good; just a little tired from all the wedding planning,'

He nodded and seemed satisfied with my answer, 'You've done a great job; I can't wait until it's your turn,'

He should seriously stop talking about weddings. 'What's with the obsession with marrying me off?'

Dad laughed, 'Your mum and I aren't getting any younger, Rose. We'd love to have grandkids,' his eyes flashed cheekily.

I groaned, 'Dad, talk about pressure,' I felt my stomach sink; I knew my parents would not approve of me being with Dimitri, not that it was relevant anymore. It stopped being relevant when he cheated remember? I reminded myself, and I hardened my heart. Dad chuckled as he spun me around, 'I'm sure you won't have any problems finding someone,'

Yeah, the only problem was that my heart was already broken by the only one who mattered.

...

Christian and Lissa decided to announce the news of their baby that night and everyone congratulated and toasted them further. 'They really are perfect,' Ayeshah sighed to me. Yeah, tell me about it, I thought to myself, envious of their relationship and what they had together. I wanted this. I wanted the happy ending. The fairytale. Dimitri didn't return to our table that night; instead I caught glimpses of him hanging out with Tasha and Angus and several Guardian friends of his. A few times, I caught him staring at me intensely whilst I danced with Christian, Adrian or some other guy. Sometimes, I'd see a flicker in his eyes. Longing? Hope? Love? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure how we would ever move past this. First with him and Katrina; then with me and Adrian. But I knew that every time I felt his eyes on me, it was as if my whole body would ignite in flames, as if he were undressing me with his eyes. I didn't get anywhere close to him all night, and yet, it felt as though his fingers were merely an inch away from me.

I shook my head curtly, more to myself than to anyone else. He's gone. We're over.

Are you? A small voice inside of me asked. I quickly silenced it. It's annoying to have your own inner voice contradict your higher reasoning, moral voice. Is what you're doing higher reasoning?

I had had enough of listening to myself debate; it was fun when I bantered with someone else, not so fun when you're bantering with yourself. I stalked off to find someone who could distract me from my own thoughts, but Lissa was caught up with Christian, Eddie with Mia and even Adrian was engrossed in conversation with Ayeshah. I walked towards Alberta and she gave me a wary look. I knew better than to question her about security; she had a look that said, everything is fine, don't ask.

Thankfully, there were no Strigoi attacks. 'I told you not to worry,' Alberta said stiffly at the end of the night, as I thanked her and the Guardians for their work. I smiled sheepishly at her and apologized for being obsessive.

I threw up periodically throughout the reception and by the end of it, was not only physically exhausted from all the retching that I was doing, but also mentally exhausted from battling away people's concerns about me. I was clearly not okay – I didn't understand the concept of continuously asking me if I was when I sure as hell didn't look okay.

Lissa and Christian planned to embark on their honeymoon after the baby was born. I didn't know what was going to happen when Lissa and Christian go away on their honeymoon. Would I be stuck with their crying, screaming bundle of joy? Would Dimitri and I be required to go on honeymoon with them, considering we're their Guardians? I considered the thought of spending 2 weeks, possibly in some resort island place like Hawaii or Fiji, with Dimitri. It horrified me; it would be pure torture, and would most likely happen. I could envision us being in paradise, and yet so far from it at the same time...

...

'This is getting ridiculous!' I exclaimed to Lissa one day. She was rubbing her small bump lovingly. 'I'm going to see the doctor about this,' I decided, pacing back and forth in front of her. It had been 2 weeks after her wedding and I was still as sick as a dog. Lissa was oblivious to my concerns as she eagerly anticipated the birth of her baby. She merely nodded at my decision and I left her huffily.

'Dr. Volkov!' I burst into the infirmary, demanding to see my regular doctor. I wasn't in the mood for negotiations that day. I had been kept up all night throwing my guts out. I was either experiencing a severe case of food poisoning, or there was something seriously wrong with Lissa's pregnancy. Surely, morning sickness can't last this long. At the rate I was going, I would be void of any fluids in my body.

I was seen after a 15 minute wait, in which I spent pacing in front of the receptionist, who was getting increasingly nervous just by looking at me.

'Why do I keep throwing up?' I demanded, once I was seated in Dr. Volkov's office. She asked me for my symptoms and I rattled them off impatiently as she smiled serenely, jotting down everything I said.

'Have you done a pregnancy test?' she asked matter-of-factly.

I balked at the idea, 'No! Of course not; I'm not pregnant. Dhampirs don't get pregnant,'

'Dhampirs can get pregnant if they have been with a Moroi,' she said, as if reading from a textbook.

'I know that!' I snapped, 'and I haven't been with a…'

I stopped mid-sentence and felt the color drain from my face. No. I couldn't be. Not from just one night.

'Guardian Hathaway?' Dr. Volkov's voice cut through my thoughts. I blinked stupidly at her, trying to register what was possibly happening to me. I shook my head vehemently. No. It couldn't be. I'll take the stupid pregnancy test and I'll prove her wrong. Stupid doctor doesn't know what she's talking about.

'Alright, give me the damn test and I'll go do it,' I said sulkily. Sometimes I wonder how she deals with me; I must be her surliest patient by far. After pissing on a stick that she gave me, I walked back into her office and sat quietly in the chair, staring at the stick, willing it to indicate negative.

Double lines turned up on the stick and I felt an immense sense of relief. 'See, double lines! I'm not pregnant, now can we do some proper tests on me?' I cheered silently.

'Guardian Hathaway, double lines means you're pregnant,' Dr. Volkov said somberly. My mind went blank. Oh she is so funny. Double lines means I'm not pregnant.

I laughed nervously at her, 'Please Dr. Volkov, my job is taxing enough; don't play games with me, I know that double lines means I'm not pregnant,'

'Guardian Hathaway, double lines means you're pregnant,' she repeated herself.

'You don't know what you're talking about!'

'With all due respect, you don't need to be a doctor to know that double lines means positive,' she was starting to get irritated with me.

'But…' I stammered, 'I can't be. I can't be pregnant,'

'I know this is a bit of a shock to you; it is often the case with new mothers. Having a baby is a very exciting thing and I can help you with your journey. We can run some blood tests to confirm the result, but I can assure you that you are pregnant,' she said as she scribbled notes into my file again, 'He's a lucky man,'

Oh God help me. What have I done to deserve this? I agreed to have the blood tests done, but she had already confirmed my deepest fears. How am I going to tell Dimitri? Any hopes I had of reconciling with him went out of the window. What is Lissa going to think? Oh God, what will Adrian say? My head was swirling with questions. I was sure I needed some kind of divine intervention to help me out of the mess I was in.

'The stick must be faulty!' I blurted out. Yes, the stick must be faulty. Dr. Volkov looked at me in exasperation but handed me another stick nonetheless. After consuming another bottle of water and pacing about for 5 minutes, I pissed on the stick again. Double lines. Oh fuck.