Chapter 17

Rose's Point of View

I stirred slightly and heard voices around me.

'You need to rest, Princess, it's been a long night,' a deep male voice said. It sounded like Macca, 'You and Adrian did good tonight… we did good,'

My eyes fluttered open to see Lissa nod silently at her mentor. Adrian was standing beside her, looking equally as exhausted as Macca. Lissa had her back to me, but I could tell from our bond, that she was exhausted.

I slowly sat up in the hospital bed. What the fuck? Why was I in a hospital bed?

'Ah, you're finally awake,' Macca said, smiling tiredly at me. I nodded, 'what happened?'

'You fainted,' Lissa said matter-of-factly. Now that I could see her, I could tell that she was beyond exhausted. She looked like she had just run a marathon with a baby on her back. I quickly jumped off my bed and offered it to her. She closed her eyes and fell asleep before I could ask her anymore questions.

'Would you like to see Dimitri now?' Macca asked gently. And that was when everything that had happened came hurtling back to me. Dimitri. 10 percent chance. Accident. Operation. Blocking Spirit. Lost the will to live.

'Is he okay?' I asked tentatively, fear creeping into my heart.

Adrian smiled tiredly at me, 'He is. Finally, he is,'

I breathed a sigh of relief, 'What happened? I thought you said he blocked you out,'

'He did,' Macca explained as he sat himself on the sofa. Patting the seat next to him, he indicated for me to sit down, 'I decided to use Lissa, Adrian and my Spirit to try and get through to him. Adrian's coming along beautifully with his dream walking, so with his and my abilities combined, we were finally able to get through Dimitri's mental block. Mind you, it wasn't easy was it, Adrian?'

Adrian laughed bitterly, 'Damn that Russian is a lot more pig-headed than I give him credit for! The number of times he fought against us, phew! No wonder we're all exhausted!'

'To cut a long story short, we only managed to get through to him on the eighth try. It was certainly a test of stamina more than anything else, and stamina is what Dimitri has a lot of. Thankfully, he's also injured, and there were two of us,'

'So once we finally got through to him, we got Lissa to join us. We had hoped she would talk some reason into him,' Macca continued, 'But his eyes remained haunted and black; and it took a lot of struggling before Lissa and I were able to heal him,'

Tears of relief clouded my vision as I slumped into a nearby chair, muttering, 'Thank God,' repeatedly. 'Oh, Macca, Adrian… Thank you so much,' I blubbered, not knowing what to do with myself. He was safe, he was okay. 'Can I… see him…?' I asked tentatively, not wanting to push my luck, 'The doctor said that he shouldn't have any excitement otherwise it would rupture a blood vessel, so if it's going to upset him too much, then I won't see him, it's okay really… But what do you think? Is he properly healed? Is he okay?' I rambled on.

Macca chuckled slightly, 'He's okay, Rose. You can see him. The doctors were amazed by his 'miraculous' recovery today, and weren't quite sure what happened!'

'Oh, thank you guys!' I flung my arms around his neck and gave Adrian a quick peck on his cheek before rushing out of the room to the Intensive Care Unit.

'Excuse me, miss, but it's not visiting hours,' a nurse tried to hold me back as I barraged my way through the hallway, looking for Dimitri's room.

'Listen, I'm looking for Dimitri. Belikov. Dimitri Belikov,' my words rushed out, 'I'm his next of kin, he's listed me as that, please let me see him. The doctor said I'm allowed in,'

'Hold on for a second, miss,' the nurse said in her calm, collected manner as I paced impatiently in front of the nurse's station. A minute later, she indicated that I had permission to go through, and she buzzed me in.

'Room 5, miss,' the nurse called out as I hurtled myself through the sliding doors.

I reached Room 5, and saw Dimitri's name written on the clipboard outside the door. My heart lurched forward as I tried to think of something to say. Suddenly, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to see him, whether it would be a good idea. What will I say to him? What will he say to me? What will he say about the baby?

I knocked on the door tentatively before letting myself in. The bed was empty, but I could see the outline of his form. Where was he?

I heard the bathroom door open, and there he was. His head was still bandaged, but other than that, he looked healthy. Healthy and alive. I could've broken down and cried at the sight of him. Pull yourself together, I kept telling myself, pull yourself together. His chest was bare, tanned and muscled. I felt my knees go weak with desire. Seriously, Rose, this isn't the time to think about getting naked with him.

'Dimitri,' I whispered. He remained still, his eyes as cold and dark as they were when I last saw them, 'Dimitri, I'm so sorry,'

He closed the space between us in two strides. His lips came crashing onto mine, as he wrapped his strong arms around me. 'Dimitri,' I whispered into his lips, tears gushing out of my eyes as I kissed him hungrily.

He pulled back suddenly, angrily, 'I loved you so much, Roza. I loved you so much, that the only way I can go from here is to hate you,'

And in the next second, his lips were back on mine. I stumbled backwards as he pushed me against the wall. His eyes blazed with hunger, desperation, and fury. I couldn't help but sigh into his kisses; it didn't matter whether he hated me or not, his kisses told me he loved me. His fingers sneaked underneath my top, and it was as if an electric current passed through me. I melted into his arms. I loved him.

'I hate you, Roza,' he panted as he pulled back again rapidly. He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. I lifted my lips to his again, and he deepened it instantly.

'Dimitri, I love you,' I whispered tearfully, running my hands up and down his torso. He shivered under my touch, and I smiled at this. He ran his buried his fingers in my hair as he pulled me closer, his body grinding against mine. 'Dimitri,' I moaned as he lowered his lips to my neck.

Slowly, he brought his lips back to mine and slowly, painfully, withdrew from me. 'It was irresponsible of me to do what I did, I had no business running off to Russia,' he said quietly, lowering his eyes to the floor, 'Christian is my charge, I will guard him with my life,'

'So you're not leaving…?' I asked hopefully, maybe a little too hopefully because he shot me a sharp look.

'No. But we can't go on like this. I'm sorry for… before. We need to move on, not hover in the past,' he said. He was back to being business-like and stoic, back to being the mentor I knew, 'I'll be professional around our accommodation, and so should you. Maybe it's better this way,'

I reached out for him, but he took a step back, averting my gaze. 'Dimitri, I know you still love me,' I whispered, 'You say you don't, but that's not what your kisses say,'

'Dammit Rose!' he yelled, jolting me slightly. His eyes were red from the tears that were threatening to spill over, 'This is not going to work!' So much for business-like.

'But why…' I pleaded, moving towards him again, 'I'm sorry, Dimitri! We can make this work; I'll do anything, please…'

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, 'I can't do this, Rose. I can't be with you, knowing that the child we're raising belongs to another man! I don't know how to do this,'

'I know you're angry, Dimitri, but …,'

'But what, Rose?' his contempt seeped into his every word, 'There is nothing you can do that will make anything better. Please, don't make this harder than it already is,'

'I hope you and Adrian have a wonderful life together,' he said sadly, as I wept, 'I'm sorry I couldn't be the father of your child,'

'I don't want it, Dimitri. Please… I only want you,'

'Don't be stupid, Roza,' his anger had dissipated and behind it was a broken man, 'Each life is a blessing. Maybe all this is meant to be,'

'If it's meant to be, then why does it feel so wrong?' I half-shouted at Dimitri.

'I'm sorry,' he said sadly, looking out the window, and after a minute's silence, added, 'You said that if I woke up, you'll leave me, you'll go away. It's impractical and ridiculous for you to leave Lissa, but I ask that you let whatever we had between us go,'

And with those words, I felt my heart shatter. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms tightly around him, sobbing profusely into his chest. He stiffened slightly before wrapping his arms around me and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

'You h-heard,' I stammered.

'Of course, I hear everything you say,' there was a hint of tenderness in his voice.

I nodded and pulled away from him, swallowing mouthfuls of air as I prepared myself to walk away. I looked into his eyes. He had tears. I reached out to wipe a stray tear away from his beautiful eyes; he reached out to tuck a stray strand of my hair away. I steadied my breathing once again, 'I'll go away,' I promised, before tiptoeing to kiss him one last time.

'Roza…' his voice was barely a whisper as I gathered what was left of my dignity, spun around and walked out of his room.

…

'Get out!' I yelled as I stormed back into my hospital room, 'Get out, get out, get out!'

'Rose…' Lissa started towards me, but I merely pointed at the door. Adrian and Macca furrowed their brows – 'What happened?'

'GET OUT!'

'Rose, talk to us,' Lissa tried again, only to have me yelling back at her.

'Okay, you have to stop!' Lissa said solidly, 'I know you're pregnant, I know your hormones are going crazy but this has all. GOT. TO. STOP.'

'You're WHAT?' Adrian exclaimed.

'Oh great, Liss, I told you that in confidence! Just announce it to whole fucking world, why don't you!' I snapped angrily at Lissa, taking all the anger and frustration I was feeling inside at her.

'He has the right to know, Rose! You can't keep it from him forever!' Lissa insisted.

'Wait,' Adrian said loudly, 'Rose, you're pregnant?'

'I don't feel like talking about it,' I said, stubbornly.

'No, we're talking about it,' Adrian insisted and I rolled my eyes at him. 'What part of GET. OUT. Do you not understand?' I snapped.

'Cut it, Rose. This is important,' Adrian continued, 'Who's the father?'

'Well who the fuck do you think?' I glared at him, 'Despite what everyone thinks, I have only EVER slept with TWO people. One, is a Dhampir. Which leaves…?'

'Me,' Adrian's voice came out in a whisper, 'But…'

'But what?' I asked impatiently, 'I don't want to talk to anyone, so please, GET THE FUCK OUT!'

'But I never slept with you,' Adrian said slowly, 'You're pissed off because Dimitri won't talk to you. And Dimitri won't talk to you because you must have told him about being pregnant, and logically, he thought your child was mine,'

'You never slept with her?' Lissa asked dumbfoundedly.

'WHAT?' I yelled at Adrian.

'Your child is not mine. That night… When you were drunk… I knew I had to stay sober. I knew one of us had to be responsible. I knew your heart was broken, but I knew you loved him. Nothing happened that night. Sure, I changed you out of your clothes, and that was a bit of a treat for me, but I swear, I promise, I didn't touch you. We didn't do anything, so that child can't be mine,'

I stared at him disbelievingly. WHAT?

'I'm sorry Rose. I didn't tell you the truth because I wanted to protect you. I saw how hurt you were, I wanted Dimitri to hurt as much. It wasn't meant to end like this. I wanted to help you get back at him somehow, so I kept up the act. But this is all way out of hand now. It's not some game anymore. Your baby's not mine, Rose. Which means… Your baby's father is Dimitri…,'

Adrian turned to look at Macca for some form of enlightenment. Macca shrugged casually, as if he weren't witnessing the soap opera of the century, 'Look, it's not entirely impossible. I've heard rare cases like this in the past; I remember reading some case studies in the past. It has something to do with being shadow-kissed; somehow your genetic make-up changes, allowing parts of Moroi blood into you and thus allowing you to have children,'

I opened and closed my mouth in shock, not knowing what to say.

'So this whole thing is a misunderstanding. This is great news, Rose,' Lissa said enthusiastically. I merely looked at her and stammered, 'Dimitri…,'

'He needs to hear this,' Lissa said, taking charge. Adrian nodded his head urgently, and we all rushed towards Dimitri's room again, much to the annoyance of the nurses at the Intensive Care Unit. Lissa had to use some serious compulsion before they would let us pass.

Dimitri was standing by his window, staring at the sky when we knocked and entered. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of Adrian.

'What are you doing here?' he asked coldly.

'Dimitri…' I started out towards him, glowing with excitement. He merely stared at me coldly and dismissed me without really acknowledging me in the first place. A pang of rejection went off in my heart, but I reasoned that he didn't know the truth yet. So I held myself back whilst Adrian explained.

'Dimitri, listen,' Adrian started, 'I know I'm your least favourite person in the world right now, but there's been a massive misunderstanding…'

Dimitri narrowed his eyes further at Adrian. Unfazed, Adrian explained what happened, and Macca gave his expert opinion. Dimitri wasn't entirely convinced, but the lines on his face had visibly softened. 'How do I know you're not just conspiring with Rose?' Dimitri asked carefully.

'Look mate, I can bet you all I have that when that baby comes out, he or she will have your eyes, or your nose, or your jaw, or something of yours. I'm willing to bet every single thing I own,' Adrian challenged, 'I didn't touch Rose, man,'

'I know it sounds unbelievable, Dimitri, but you have to believe him,' Lissa said gently. Dimitri stared at all of us in disbelief; I could almost see the wheels turn in his head, putting the pieces altogether.

'So… That means…' he finally whispered.

'You're going to be a father,' Lissa whispered, matching his tone. I wasn't sure why everyone was whispering. I felt like shouting.

'I'm going to be a father,' Dimitri repeated, dumbly. There was an interesting play of emotions on his face. His eyes searched everyone's faces, trying to assess whether this was all just a cruel joke. It was so typical of him, always assessing for danger, always suspicious, always on guard. God, I loved this man. When his eyes finally landed on me, I wondered whether it was even legal for someone to be as handsome as he was.

'Rose…?'

I nodded at him as tears threatened to overwhelm me again. Damn these hormones!

'I'm going to be a father,' he repeated again as I rushed into his arms and he buried his face in my hair, 'Roza…'

'We're going to have a family,' I smiled into his chest, my heart brimming over with joy. He brought his lips to mine, 'I'm so sorry, Rose,'

'No, I'm sorry, Dimitri, I'm so sorry about everything,'

He shook his head vigorously as he kissed me again with renewed hunger. Lissa cleared her throat loudly, causing us to jump apart. 'I guess we better leave you two to celebrate,' Lissa smiled knowingly.

Adrian smiled at the two of us before leaving with Lissa and Macca. If he was melancholic about the reunion, he didn't show it. It was ironic that it was always Adrian who brought Dimitri and I together; always he who insisted on us seeing reason. I knew it took a lot for him to love from a distance, to see me share my life with Dimitri. One day, he'll find her, I found myself thinking as I stared at his receding back.

'It's like all we ever do is say goodbye,' I mused to myself, not really knowing what I was referring to.

'I don't want to ever say goodbye,' Dimitri said softly, as he turned me slowly to face him. The same eyes that were cold and uninviting were now warm and full of life. A small smile played on his lips as he tilted my chin upwards. He brought his lips to mine and the minute we touched, his kisses came with a renewed hunger, a desperation I had never felt from him before.

'Roza,'

I felt shivers down my spine as he whispered my name. His voice was so beautiful; I could hear him speak forever.

'I'm so sorry, Dimitri, I'm so sorry,'

'It's okay, Rose. We're okay now,'

'Oh, Dimitri, I love you so much, I'm so sorry about everything,' I couldn't help the tears that sneaked out.

Dimitri kissed my tears away, 'It's okay, I'm sorry too, I'm sorry about everything too,'

I shook my head, 'I was so stupid, I should've let you explain. We shouldn't have fought for so long,'

He chuckled, and it sounded like the angels were singing, 'I agree. We shouldn't have fought for so long, but I don't blame you for being angry at me. I was angry at you for being with Adrian, or at least I thought you were. I love you so much, I can't bear the thought of you being with someone else,'

I shook my head again, 'Let's not talk about that first, let's talk about you. Are you okay? Oh God, I was so scared you were going to die. When Macca said you had lost the will to live, I didn't know what to do. I was hysterical. I didn't know what to do, I felt so helpless. I felt like… I had spent all my life training to protect the people I love and yet… I couldn't…,'

'Roza,' Dimitri interrupted me as he tilted my chin up again so I was looking into his smiling warm, brown eyes, 'Maybe we should get married,'

I half-laughed, half-sobbed, 'maybe we should?'

He grinned at me as he led me towards the bed, 'maybe,'

'Well, that's not going to be good enough Comrade. You might just have to come up with a better proposal,'

He laughed as he sat himself on the bed, and positioned me between his legs, 'Cut a man some slack, I just came back from the dead,'

I laughed as I kissed him on his forehead, 'And that's why I'll forgive you, and give you another chance,'

'Aren't you benevolent?' he chuckled as he brought his lips to mine again. Geez, I can't think when his lips are doing forbidden things to me. His hands sneaked up my top and skirted around the top of my breasts. I felt my breath catch.

'This is inappropriate,' my voice came out hoarsely, aching for him to ravage me, 'It's a hospital,'

'Roza, since when has anything between us been appropriate,' Dimitri whispered urgently as he removed my top and lowered his mouth to my breasts. I let out a soft moan, and pushed against him. Suffice to say, we spent the rest of the afternoon making up for lost time.