Author's Note: You guys did totally awesome on reviews this past chapter. They really motivated to finish the chapter quickly. I was going to send this out on Friday, but since you all did such a great job, I'm putting it up early. See what writing reviews will get you! Early chapter and it's extra long! So keep letting me know what you are thinking.
DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.
Kim and I walked toward the beach. We had to get far enough away that the guys wouldn't be able to hear us. This was one conversation that I didn't want anyone to hear. We found some driftwood to sit on.
"Bella, being a wolf girl, it's something special."
"What do you mean exactly?"
"I mean that being the soul mate of a werewolf requires some hard work."
"Hard work? I mean I did all right as the girlfriend of a vampire, I think I can handle this."
"True, you have an advantage probably going into this than any normal human girl. Though there will be major differences."
"What are you getting at, Kim?"
"First, privacy doesn't exist anymore. There are no secrets in the pack. You're lucky that Sam is the best at shielding his thoughts, but the guys have gotten pretty good at pulling thoughts out."
"What do you mean pulling thoughts out?" That doesn't sound too appealing.
"I mean if Paul says, 'Kim' followed by a thought along the lines of 'sex' then Jared's mind automatically makes the mental connection and the memories of us together slip out. Sam doesn't participate in this game, but Jared and Paul do it to each other all the time."
"Well, that sucks for us." I did not want those kind of thoughts shared with the pack. It was bad enough that Sam could slip, but to hear that the other guys purposely made each other slip, that sucked!
"Yeah, pretty much. But hey Sam can give them an Alpha command to shut it, and they can't try and pull out his memories with you."
"Huh, I guess there is that." Thank God that Sam held a lot of the control in this little group.
"Yep," she said smiling.
"But don't you get embarrassed by it?"
"Oh yeah. Do you really think I want other guys knowing exactly what I look like naked, or see me in the act? That would be a big fat no."
"Then how do you deal with it?"
"Honestly, I try and block it out. You can't think about it, Bella. You'll go crazy if you do. You'll start to hesitate at every kiss and every touch. It comes with being a wolf girl. It's a 'if you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen' sort of deal."
"Jared and Sam are worth it."
"Yeah, they are," she smiled.
"So what else is there that I should be forewarned about?"
"The sex itself." I blinked a few times. From what I had seen of her, I didn't think Kim was the type to openly talk about sex. At dinner she seemed quiet and reserved. I knew I wasn't one to talk about it. But then again I didn't know much on the subject. Maybe dating a werewolf was more different than I was thinking if she thought it needed to be discussed.
"Well, just get right to the point then."
"It's kind of a key point, Bella."
"How so? Sam and I aren't sleeping together."
"Maybe not yet, but eventually you will, right?" This seemed like it was going to be a very personal conversation.
"I guess, eventually, maybe." This was a concern of mine. With Edward, there was no pressure. He was a virgin, I was virgin, and we were both clueless. That made it a bit less intimidating. But Sam. I knew Sam had to be more experienced. He and Leah, the Native goddess, dated for years. Plus they didn't have to worry about the whole I want to drink you blood thing that Edward and I had going on.
"Have you ever had sex before, Bella?" She asked through curious eyes. I stiffened.
"That's a little personal, Kim," I grounded out.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but it would help in how I describe things to you. If it makes you feel more comfortable, I never had sex before Jared." She said it such a sweet and trustworthy tone. I knew I could trust her, and that we were having this conversation for my benefit, not hers. I went ahead and answered.
"Fine, no I haven't. Edward said it was too dangerous for us to get very far."
"How far did you go? Not just with him, with any guy?" This was a bit embarrassing, though Kim not seeming to have much experience before made it a bit less. Most girls my age had at least had a good heavy make out session. I didn't really want to admit out loud that until a few days ago with Sam that I had never kissed with tongue involved. I had a 13 year old cousin that had been farther than I had. Though, I didn't know if that was a bad thing on my part, or hers.
"Not far, just kissing."
"Well, that could be a good thing."
"Why?" I asked suspiciously.
"You don't have anything to compare it with."
"Isn't that what you would say to someone if they were going to be disappointed if they had had other experience?" That was what people said about two virgins sleeping together; neither was the wiser about how good it was. So it was a good thing for both. Did that mean that it wasn't good with the wolves? I mean Sam radiated of sexy if you asked me. Just looking at him was an experience.
"I guess, but it works the other way too. But what I was referring to was that if you had experience, you would think that it would be the same as with a normal guy, and that's not the case. It's a whole other ball game."
"How would you know though? You said you didn't have experience before."
"You're right. So I guess it's really only a guess. But I think if I had prior experience then it may have freaked me out a little. Well, more than it did."
"Freaked you out how?"
"Everything about it." That was a little too vague for my tastes. They don't do it like while in wolf form, right? Cause that's going a little far in my opinion.
"What exactly are you referring to, Kim? Because you're making me think some really kinky, weird things."
"Nothing freaky, Bella. Well, for one the size."
"Size?"
"Bella, they're large everywhere if you get what I'm saying. Jared told me that Paul jokes it's natures way of making up the shitty life that was given to them."
"How large are we talking?"
"Like sex isn't too great the first few times because you're still adjusting. Maybe if we'd had had sex before with regular sized guys it wouldn't be so bad, but starting fresh, well, like I said you have to adjust."
"Oh, that doesn't sound nice." I wasn't one to be into the pain is pleasure thing.
"It is once you get used to their size," Kim said with an encouraging smile. "Then it gets really good."
"Huh, well, that's something to think about."
"Yeah, that's just the first thing."
"Okay…" I was a little worried about what else there could be.
"So next after the shock of the size is the actual act. There a few things you should know. First, I suggest turning on the air conditioner to about 63 degrees."
"That's pretty low, Kim."
"It will save your life, trust me. Think about their body temp. Then think about having that temp surround every inch of your body. Add the exertion of physical activity and it gets might hot and sweaty. If you don't want to pass out, I suggest turning the A/C down."
"Okay, that makes sense."
"Yes, it does. Let's see, what's next? Oh, so this is something to keep in mind. They're wolves."
"Yeah, I got that already. I don't see what that has to do with-"
"It does, believe me. Wolves have a strong need to both mate and be dominate. Honestly, they're horny little buggers. And if you don't speak up, things can get a little rough. Jared tends to forget how strong he is when he gets too excited. Don't get me wrong, it's great sometimes. It can be really exciting in the moment, but the bruises afterward, not so much."
"Bruises?" I squeaked out.
"Not bad ones, just they get carried away a little, they don't mean to. It's just their inner wolf coming out to play." She said so nonchalantly that I couldn't believe it.
"All right, moving on."
"Right, so like I said, horn dogs are what they are. Jared's appetite for sex is exactly like his appetite for food. Endless. But once a month, it's even worse."
"Once a month when?" Surely she wasn't talking about a woman's already least favorite part of the month.
"When you're ovulating is when he gets the horniest. Don't ask me how they know, Sam guesses it's some sort of hormone or pheromone that we send out. Anyway, that little inner wolf has the need to reproduce the next generation, and that is the best time for it to happen. So beware, if you aren't ready for a baby, be very careful that part of the month."
"Are you serious?" Surely she was yanking my chain.
"Yep, I am. It's all part of the werewolf soul mate thing. Paul doesn't have the same issue with the girls that he dates. It's only an imprint thing. Sam has amazing control though in all other aspects of the werewolf thing, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. Anyway, this leads into the next thing. Protection."
"Condoms?" I mean what was so hard about that?
"Nope, well, at least they don't think. No one really wants to take the risk. It's said in the legends that the wolves with their imprints were very fertile. So there is the question if a condom can stop their little guys or not. Plus there is the issue of heat. Heat weakens condom over time and the guys have that real high body temperature, so wearing one may just prove useless. Just to be sure, you should go on the pill. Even if their little swimmers get past the barrier, if there's no egg to fertilize, then there's no baby to worry about."
"Okay, that's good to know." God, this is crazy. As if a normal girl doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I have to worry about freaky, super powered wolf sperm impregnating me.
"Oh and then there's mar- You know what, Sam will probably want to talk to you about that one, so yeah."
"Mar- what?"
"Um, it's just another imprint thing. Sam will talk to you about. I guess the last thing about sex that I think you should now is that they are like the energizer bunny."
"The energizer bunny? They never stop going?"
"Exactly. Most guys, from what I hear, need like a recharge time, you know before going for another round. Not our guys. They can get it back up and running in no time. Sometimes it's nice, other times you just want some damn sleep. So you need to learn the word 'no'. Or better yet, make him learn the word 'no'. Jared tries using his little puppy expression, but don't let it fool you if Sam pulls one of his own. You are the one in control, even if you let them think him are."
"I'm the one in control, are sure about that? I mean, Sam's Alpha."
"That is the beauty of imprinting, Bella. It allows us to have almost complete control over our wolves. They want nothing more than to make us happy. So if we stand firm that sex is not what we currently want, then they won't push. In fact Jared is perfectly happy with cuddling, though he would never actually admit it. He's happy with it, because I am. Sam will be the same way. If you want something, he'll give it to you. You are the one in control, Bella. As Paul would put it, we own their balls, take away their manhood." She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't say it quite that way, but he's right to a certain extent."
"Okay, so I'm in control of the energizer bunny?" This sounded a little ridiculous.
"Oh, I have one more thing to go along with the energizer bunny thing. Make sure to eat and drink before and afterward. You'll need all the energy you can get, so go for high calorie food. There are these little energy bars at the store, they help for in between goes. I keep a few in the nightstand by my bed."
"You're kidding right?"
"Nope, you do what you gotta do, Bella. If you don't want to pass out from lack of energy and nutrients, eat. I learned that one the hard way. I woke up to a very worried and freaked out Jared, a confused and concerned Sam, and a laughing, jackass Paul."
"You actually passed out? Like during sex?"
"Well, yeah, just the once. It was only like the fourth time that we'd done it, and it was the first time that I was really up for a second round back to back with the first. I had skipped breakfast and lunch that day. I was low on nutrients, energy, and that other stuff you need to keep going and all that exertion pushed me over the edge. I passed out and Jared freaked. When I didn't immediately wake up, he called Sam, who brought Paul with him. I woke up light headed and once I ate something, I felt completely fine, just really embarrassed."
"I can see why you keep the energy bars by the bed." I never imagined that there was so much to consider when entering a relationship with Sam. I wouldn't let any of this keep me from being with him, but damn. I couldn't imagine having to learn all this on my own. Poor Kim.
"Yeah, we don't want a repeat of that ever again. Paul wouldn't shut up until Sam finally had to give him an Alpha command." I could believe that.
"Thank you, Kim. For sharing all this with me."
"Oh, it's not a problem, Bella. Really, I'm just so happy to have someone to share all this with. The guys are great, but it will be nice having some female company. I never had too many friends before, since I'm pretty quiet normally. And the few I had, well, it gets hard having friends when you have to keep so much from them. I'm sure you understand that."
"I get it exactly. So anything else, you not having to do with sex?"
"Oh sure. Being with Jared is like a learning experience every day. Um, let's see, I guess the biggest thing is just to be there for them. Their job can be stressful sometimes, and you just have to support Sam, especially with him being Alpha. He has a lot more responsibilities. They live a life of lies when it comes to most people, so having you to be honest with, it means a great deal to them. Many people on the reservation think of them as a dangerous, low life gang and as you know, they couldn't be farther from that. People talk, and it can be disheartening sometimes. I mean they risk their lives to protect their tribe, and yet they have to hear the rude comments being said behind their backs. Being there, understanding, listening, whatever they need. Imprinting makes them become whatever we want them to be. I'd had a crush on Jared since like forever, so I jumped at the chance to be with him. But Sam was a friend for you for a long time before you needed him as something else. They do many things for us, but sometimes it's what we can do and be for them that are the most important. We keep their hearts and souls safe and whole."
"Why do you think they imprint?"
"Well, as Sam sort of told you, and as many of the Council think, it's simply a mating thing, to pass on the gene to the best suited. But I think it's more than that. And I especially think that now with you. I mean if it was just a mating thing, then why didn't Sam imprint on Leah? She has a very strong bloodline in the Quileute tribe. They would have had a almost certain chance of passing on the wolf gene together, strong, powerful wolves at that."
"Yeah, I've sort of wondered the same thing. She just seems sort of perfect for Sam. He says that had flaws in their relationship, but still, it seems like they would have been better suited for one another. And now with this marriage law thing, I have to really believe that my first assumption was right."
"Oh no, don't think that, Bella. Sam would never give you up. You don't know how much he's changed since you came along. Like I said, since you, I think more now than ever that there is more to imprinting than puppies. Jared said that after phasing, but when he was still with Leah that he still pretty stoic. He was always serious and seemed to be hurting with all the lies to Leah. After Leah, and since I've been around, he's been even more stoic. He never seemed to show emotion, he just lived for the pack. I mean the boys used to joke that his fur was black like his heart."
"Sam's not like that at all. How could he have changed that much? And what about the community center?"
"That was one of the few places that I'd ever seen Sam smile before imprinting on you. And yes, he could change that much. Being a wolf changed him, made him put up all sorts of walls and barriers. Walls to his heart, walls to others, and even walls to himself. You broke all those down and let him be Sam again, not just the Alpha of the pack. Trust me when I say that the man in that house is far different than the one I met earlier this year when I was getting this whole werewolf thing explained to me. Actually, I was slightly scared of him if I going to be honest. I mean it took months for me to see the man smile. That's imprinting, Bella."
"So they imprint so that they can be themselves?"
"Sort of, yeah. Plus, we give them something worth fighting for. Someone to come home to. We make them stronger."
"You believe that?"
"Yeah, I do. I believe all of it. There's not an imprinting manual, though there certainly should be. We have to figure it out ourselves as we go. I think we've already learned so much since it first happened to Jared and I. And don't worry, Sam will figure out the marriage law too. Besides, you have a few years to worry about that anyway."
"You're right, we do. I've never been a fan of young marriage. It's just the idea that I can't seems so…suffocating. No, that's not the word. I don't what it makes me feel, but I don't like it."
"It'll work out."
"Paul sure doesn't want it to."
"Paul's an idiot. His dad is one of those stuck in the past, in an 'us versus them' world. It's not an excuse, but it is a factor in the way Paul thinks. He'll get over it. You just got to hold your ground with him. He likes to push people's buttons. You know how animals can smell fear, don't let Paul know he's getting to you. That's the best advice I can give you. That and stand up for yourself. Don't let him think you're weak. Prove to him that you can be the Alpha's mate."
"How do I do that?"
"Don't know exactly. Look for an opportunity and go for it. I can tell you this though, if the pack is united in thinking that the tribal law should be thrown out, the Council will be much more likely to do so."
"So I need him?"
"If you want the Council of Elders to let you and Sam marry and still let him keep Alpha title, yeah, sadly you do."
"Great, just great." I sighed. This was a crappy development. "I'll just have to win him over with my charm. Or maybe just my cooking since I don't really have charm. Does he like pies?"
"Oh yeah, I think cherry is Paul's favorite. That or blueberry, I can't remember."
"I'll start small and work my way up."
"That sounds good. So before we head back, do you have any more questions?"
"Um, well, how long was it before you and Jared…you know?"
"Before we had sex?" I nodded. "Well, don't judge me, but only like a month. I mean I'd basically been in love with him sense like sixth grade, and then he tells me I'm his soul mate. I was kind of a goner."
"No that's- um, it's…wow, that soon. Not judging, it's just that I was with Edward much longer than that and all we had were a few chaste kisses. Though Sam and I did pass that line in just the first few minutes, hell before he even told me I was his imprint. I guess a vampire relationship moves at a different spend than a werewolf one."
"Well, if he was afraid of killing you, then yeah, I would think it would."
"Right. What's really the point of waiting when you know you have that person forever?"
"Pretty much, yeah. I know that me and Jared are forever. There are no ifs, ands, or buts. There's no reason to not start forever now."
"I see your point. Let's head back if there is nothing else."
"Nope, that's all. Who knows what trouble the boys have gotten into?"
We headed back toward Sam's. When we were within ear shot we could hear the yelling. I looked at Kim and she looked back with wide eyes. Instantly we both started to run toward the house.
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