DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. The poems belong to that of the very talented Elizabeth Barrett Browning. And some words borrowed from the dashing Mr. Darcy belong to Jane Austen. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

When I got home from dropping Jake off, I made my way straight to bed to cry myself to sleep. As I hurried by Charlie, he asked if I was okay, but I only walked faster up the stairs. I didn't want to break down in front of him. I didn't want to worry my poor father. Jacob had helped me see some good points, but I still wasn't ready to just move past it all. Man or not, how could he not see his interactions with Leah were inappropriate? And while he may have trouble sharing his feelings, I point blank told him what I needed to hear. All he had to do was give me a few viable answers. But he couldn't even do that.

I woke in the having temporarily forgotten about the night before. I had dreamt of my future with Sam – or at least the future I had previously hoped for. It seemed like the cruel reality should have just been a nightmare that I could easily wake from. But instead, it was my life and my reality. I stood in the shower until the water ran cold. I had to do something to occupy my time. I couldn't sit around waiting for work to start, because I would only mope and most likely cry some more over Sam.

I decided on going to see Jacob. I knew he would welcome me with open arms. So, I went down stairs and started to fix a bowl of cereal. I then realized that we had no milk and my temper flared. I threw the box of Banana Nut Crunch on the counter and stomped out of the kitchen. As I passed Charlie at the table, he watched me pass with wide, concerned eyes.

"I'm going to Jake's. Then I have work this afternoon. I'll be back tonight."

"All right. Be safe," he said wearily.

Trying to block out the dream, I drove to La Push. It physically hurt to pass the road that led to Sam's. The pull felt so strong to go to him. I ignored it and continued on my way, arriving at the Black's home. I put the truck in park as Jacob opened my door.

"Bells! You couldn't get enough of me, huh?"

"Never, Jacob," I said, as he pulled me into a hug.

"Did you have something in mind for the day, or did you just want to be in my awesome presence?"

"I just needed my sun this morning. Can we just sort of do nothing? I'm not up for a lot."

"Sure, sure. Come on in. I was just about to attempt breakfast for me and the old man, but if you want to…" he trailed off, giving me a pleading look.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, I'll cook for the two cooking-impaired bachelors."

"Excellent," he said, pulling me toward the house. He opened the door and called out to Billy, "We get real food, Dad. Bella's going to cook for us."

Billy rolled out into the living room and gave me an appraising look. "What do we have to thank for this honor, Bella?"

"I just wanted to hang out with Jacob today."

"Well then, I guess I lucked out this morning," he said, after a moment.

I fixed breakfast for the three of us. Then Jacob and I stayed in the kitchen, washing the dishes together while Billy retired to the living room. Around nine-thirty we heard a vehicle pull up in the driveway.

"Who would that be?" Jacob asked himself, walking toward the front of the house.

"I don't know," I said following him into the living room. Jacob picked through the window, and let a huff out.

"Who is it, Jake?" Billy asked.

"Sam," he growled.

I took in a shaky breath. Why is here there? How did he know I was here? That's a stupid question, Bella. He's a freaking werewolf; of course he'd be able to find you.

"Bells? What do you want me to do?" Jacob asked.

"I don't want to talk to him. Please, I just- I can't. Not yet at least. I need more time."

Jacob headed for the door, but Billy spoke.

"Jacob, why don't you take Bella into your room? I'll deal with Sam. Don't worry, Bella, you're a guest in this house. Your wishes will be heard."

"Thank you," I said softly as Jacob led me away.

I spent the rest of the morning with Jacob. We watched television, played cards, and anything else we could find to do at his house. I didn't want to risk running into Sam at the beach or anywhere else on the reservation.

Later, much to Jake's dismay, I left for work. The farther I left La Push, the worse I felt. I pretended it was only because the effects of Jacob's light were wearing off. But I knew it really had to do with the growing distance between Sam and me. I ignored the ache in my heart and trudged my way into Newton's.

I felt like a zombie. I did the work, but I did it subconsciously, only going with through the motions to get through the shift. Near the end of the shift, Mike approached me.

"Hey, Bella."

"Mike," I said blankly.

"I'm thinking of heading into Port Angeles next Friday to catch a movie. You in?"

"No thanks, Mike."

"Come on, now that you're single again, I think you should give me a shot. I could cheer you up." I turned to glare at him.

"Who said I was single?"

"Well, you've been a bit out of it today, moping and stuff. Plus, that steroid-using Indian dude you dated came in looking a bit rough asking about you this morning. It's obvious you two broke up."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing really. Just asked when you were coming in and when you'd get off work. So, about Friday?"

"No, Mike."

"Bella, I think it'd make you feel better if we –"

"N-O, Mike. I don't want to go out with you. I'm not broken up with Sam. We are going through a…disagreement right now, but things will work out." They have to in the end. "And even if we did break up, I wouldn't give you a shot. I don't like you like that, Mike. In fact, right now I don't really like you in any way. So just back off, would ya."

"Bella, I really think if you would just –"

"Mike, I swear if you suggest we go out one more time, you'll be sorry."

"Don't get over dramatic, Bells."

"One, don't ever call me that again. It's Bella to you. Two, I'm not being overdramatic; you're being a pain in the ass. And I'll kick you in the balls if you make one more unwanted suggestion. And a helpful hint, any suggestion you give me will be unwanted," I growled.

Mike's eyes widened and he took a step back. I narrowed my eyes at him and he yelped before quickly scurrying away. I smirked and got back to work. I only had a few more minutes before I could blow the joint.

I got home and fixed myself a bowl of cereal. I had stopped by the store and picked up a gallon of milk on the way home from Newton's. Just as I sat down to eat, the phone began to ring. I glanced at the clock on the stove. Based on the time would have put money on it being either someone from the station looking for Charlie, or Sam. I let it ring a second time and Charlie walked into the kitchen.

"You not getting that?"

"Nope," I said, scooping up another spoon full of cereal.

After the third ring, Charlie answered.

"Hello," he drew out. I heard the low muttering voice through the phone, it clearly belonged to a male.

"Um…" Charlie paused, looking over at me. Sam it is then. I still wasn't ready to talk to him. How did he not get that I needed my space.

I shook my while I whispered to Charlie, "Not here."

"She is not here yet, Sam." There was a long bit of muttering.

"I don't think that's a good idea tonight. Why don't you give her a few days? Then the two of you can talk about whatever it is that's bothering her."

"Dad," I moaned. I didn't need him getting in it. I just needed him to get rid of Sam for the night.

Charlie raised his eyebrows at me and I shook my head again. He took a deep breath. "Okay, or not. Bella, why don't you head up stairs? I'll take care of this." I grudgingly listened and headed up the stairs. I got ready for bed and went to sleep, half hoping to see Sam in my dreams to fill the void in my heart and the other half not wanting the few hours of hope to lead to more hours of being even more miserable after waking from the dreams.

Monday. I hated Mondays like everyone else, but that Monday seemed worse than any other Monday. It was another day of being upset, pissed, confused, sad, and any other horrible emotion. I wanted Sam. I needed him. But my pride was too big to just set all the crap aside and be with him. I planned to get through the week and then on the weekend, I could make my final decision on what would happen between us. Either I would forgive and forget, or we'd have to end things. The last option didn't sound appealing. In fact it sounded like a death sentence. I had only been with Sam for a short while, but already a life without him seemed impossible. So, that really left me with only the first option whether my stubborn self wanted to see it or not. Now it boiled down to when I would let myself cave.

I pulled into the parking lot, dreading the day. If Mike Newton dared to speak to me, I might just follow through with my threat. I didn't have the patience for him today, or anyone else. I wanted to go to classes, block the world out, go to work, drive home, and fall asleep to dream of Sam.

The first thing I needed to do was switch out some of my books in my locker. I spun the combination and opened the door. A piece of paper fluttered out. I reached down to pick it up. The crème-colored note had my name scribbled on it. Taking in the letters, my heart began to pound. I recognized the handwriting immediately. Sam. Part of me stood mad that he didn't give me the space I wanted, while the other jumped for joy that he hadn't given up on me. Taking a deep breath, I unfolded the paper. Inside read the following:

Sonnet 43

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

I love you for so many reasons, Bella. And I know you might not think I do, but I do love you freely. There is no one else I would ever want. The imprint drew me to you, but you and you alone made me fall in love. I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt the purity of my love for you. I hope you give me the chance to tell you these things in person.

I love you with everything I am,

Sam

I wiped the tear away that had fallen on my cheek. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust him. The note was certainly a step in the right direction. The poem was one of my all time favorites. I knew that I had told him so that day in the backyard. This proved that he did care, and did listen to the things I told him. If he could go through the effort of reaching out in such a thoughtful, sweet way, I could certainly meet him half way. Though now I dreaded the long day even more. A full day of school and a shift at Newton's would keep me from going to him. I didn't work the following, so I planned to go to him after school on Tuesday. The conversation we needed could just not be made over the phone. I needed to see him.

The rest of the day went by painfully slow. I didn't hear a thing any of the teachers said. At lunch I found myself staring out the window, wishing I could just leave. I did notice thankfully that instead of choosing the seat next to me, Mike picked the only other seat available on the far side of the table. I guess he decided my threat was serious.

After lunch I sat through two more classes. I stuffed the not needed books into my locker and headed for the truck. I unlocked the door and opened it. As I got ready to climb into the seat, I noticed the note in the seat. I found myself smiling as I picked it up. I wasted no time in unfolding it to read the words he left for me.

Sonnet 14

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought

Except for love's sake only. Do not say,

"I love her for her smile—her look—her way

Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"—

For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may

Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!

But love me for love's sake, that evermore

Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

My love for you is eternal, never ending. While I love your warm smile and your captivating eyes, they are not the reasons why I love you. Your beautiful blush gets my own blood running hot, but it's not why I love you. No there are far more deep reasons that I love you, mé'oonna. If you give me the chance, I'll tell them all to you.

I'll love you without end,

Sam

If I wasn't anxious to see Sam on Tuesday before, after reading the second poem and note, I felt like I couldn't breathe knowing I wouldn't see him soon. I folded the note up carefully and slipped it in my bag next the first one.

I cranked up the truck and headed into work. Thankfully Mike didn't work and the shift went by uninterrupted. Not many people came in. Well, more like one out of towner came in for some last minute items he needed. I kept glancing between the clock and the back, hoping Mrs. Newton would come out to let me go. It wasn't like she needed me there. Why pay me fore just standing there?

She never did come out until the store closed at nine. I made my way to the truck, secretly wishing to find another note. With a silent pray, I opened the door and glanced at the empty seat. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I climbed in and slammed the door shut. Suddenly an envelope fell from above the visor. A smile grew on my face as I read the small note on the envelope's outside in his handwriting.

Bella, I hope you keep an open mind with this letter. I tried, but I'm afraid I'm not a writer. And I'm sorry if it sucks.

All my love,

Sam

Quite curious, I opened the envelope, surprised by how long the letter appeared to be. I wasted no time in reading it. I found the first few sentences very familiar and I wondered where Sam was going with this letter.

Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were last night so disgusting to you. I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes which, for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten: and the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion, should have been spared had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice.

Two offenses of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first-mentioned was, that, I improperly interacted with my former love, Leah. I can only say that I was a fool. I now understand that I cannot act in the same way with an ex as I did before entering a relationship with who I pray is my future bride. You have no reason to doubt my love and devotion for you, but I can see how my relationship with Leah could make you uncomfortable. I never denied you the chance to be friends with Edward or any of the Cullens. So I hope you wouldn't deny me the same chance with Leah if I promise that certain aspects our current friendship changes to be of more appropriateness. I can't write her out of my life completely as I do consider her one of my oldest friends before that of the role as my ex-girlfriend. However, I do promise to be more conscious of my actions around her. I plan to make my offer of only friendship clear to her along with that the two of us share no future as only you hold that spot now. If she continues to be a problem, then I will end the friendship if it seems necessary to keep her actions toward me only friendly. I hope you will be able to accept my reworked friendship with Leah.

My second offense, the worst in my opinion. I allowed you to believe that my love for you was not of my own. I apologize for my stupidity, my beautiful Bella. I love you more than I ever knew to be possible. The imprint did not make me love you, Bella. It only brought you to my foremost attention. It is like the sun's light that allows a garden to be seen. The sun does not make me love the flowers; it only allows me to see them in the proper light. Instead it is the flowers that capture me with their beauty. You, Isabella, capture me with you inner and outer beauty every second of every day.

I apologize for my idiotic ways. Kim says that it is the fact that I am a guy that roots my stupidity. I think I agree at this point. To give you a better idea of where I'm coming from, let me explain a few things.

My father left my mother and me at a young age. The abandonment hardened my mother's heart and to keep her head high, she turned to criticize others. While my grandfather tried to give me some positive influences, even he was and still is a stern man. I never experienced a warm, emotional upbringing. It was about making my mother, my grandfather and my tribe proud in despite of my father's irresponsible and dishonorable actions. 'I love you' wasn't said often, and emotions and feelings were almost taboo. So, you can see this need to express myself fully is something that I don't have a lot of experience in. Even with Leah, I never had to explain myself. And I'm not mentioning that to say one of you is better, I'm only saying to reestablish that I don't fully know what I'm doing here. I am willing and want to learn, baby. If you just please use every ounce of your patience with me, I'll get it all right eventually.

I know that I still have not given you actual reasons as you had requested. And I have my reasoning for that. I want to tell why I love you so much myself, not through some written note. I do love you purely and freely and I will prove it to you as soon as you give me that opportunity. I only pray it will be soon as I miss being in your presence and looking into your beautiful brown eyes.

You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you that night; but I was not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. I shall endeavor to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the day. I will only add, I love and miss you.

Only yours, Sam

The tears rolled steadily down my face. Over the course of the day he had used my favorite poet to get through to me. And now using Mr. Darcy's letter to Elizabeth as a template, Sam made himself vulnerable and had laid it all out for me. I never would have thought Sam would be capable of such a letter, of such a way of expressing himself. Sam had done more than his share to reach out to me. It was time for me to do my part.

I turned the key in the engine and yanked the truck into drive. I flew down the roads, trying to get to Sam as fast as I could. I'd been the idiot. Yes, he's interaction with Leah had, in my book, been inappropriate and his attitude toward it didn't help. And he royally screwed up with expressing why he loved me, but I gave up. I didn't stick it out and instead ran away. That's not how a successful relationship works. And if I had taken the time to look at things from Sam's point of view, maybe we would have settled things that night.

I arrived at his house to see it dark inside. I pounded on the door for fifteen minutes before giving up. Maybe he's on patrol. If that was the case, there was no telling when he get back.

Dejectedly I climbed back into the truck and headed back to Forks. I could only hope and pray I would get my chance to speak to Sam soon.