Another day, another chapter. Aren't you glad we're updating reasonably well? I am. Never happened before. At the thrid chapter I always lose interest. Not here, though! still going strong!

Disclaimer: Soul Eater n'est pas le mien. Si il était vrai, je voudrais être heureuse. That was supposed to be french. Supposed to be.

God Damn It Stop Biting Your Nails! 6

"Kid, come on, you have to go to school," Liz chided, tugging on Kid's ankles. She was tugging at his ankles because his hands were too busy clawing at the floor for a good hold. Which were unwilling to yield.

The lights were entirely off. One of Kid's slumps had hit him fast and hard after last night, when he had gone to Laura and Meghan's apartment to apologize only to be met with a sight scarier than "The Exorcist." A pissed of Meghan.

"No, I can't go, I insulted and humiliated a lady and was unable to keep her nails symmetrical even after that. My father will probably disown me before I can even say anything to defend myself, and how can I?"

Liz sighed as she heard Kid whimper pitifully.

"That's probably a little true. You can't defend you actions; you did go a over the top this time."

"But it was funny!" Patty added cackling.

"ANYway..." Liz said, giving a sideways glance to Patty. "All you can do is apologize when you see them. Meghan's a pretty understanding person and she doesn't seem the type to hold a grudge unless you're a really bad person. Which you're not. And if she forgives you, Laura probably will too. Quit being such a little girl and go apologize like a man!"

Kid sat up suddenly, face totally cured of any self-pity, "Okay!"

Liz sighed heavily, relieved that Kid had finally stopped clawing his floor and decided to act his age. Yes, he was a genius, but he could be such a child sometimes! Patty wasn't helping when she pointed out the claw marks on his floor to Kid causing another nervous breakdown. Another day, another problem. Well, it was never boring.

With Laura and Meghan,

"Don't make me go Laura, pleaaasseee!" Meghan whined, clutching the sofa with all her might so her athletic friend could not pull her off. She was running out of strength fast though.

"You need to go to school and face him! I know you don't want to, but you have to! Running away won't solve anything!" Laura desperately tried to convince her friend, dragging her and the sofa towards the door. So as not to let go, Meghan changed her arm into the hammer ax, and dug the ax part deep into the sofa. The only way she was going to school was if the sofa went with her.

"So, I just need to get you an the sofa to school, then? All right so be it!"

"No, Laura please! I don't want to!" It was then that Meghan unleashed her secret attack. She turned to Laura and made her eyes as big as they could get and curled her lip. She formed the perfect puppy dog face.

"No! I won't let you just stay."

"Please?"

"But-" Meghan had already won at this point.

"No. I will stay."

"But you're just-"

"I'm not going."

"You're impossible! Fine. Stay here and hide. I'll deal with the problem."

Meghan fell as Laura dropped her ankles and stormed away. Meghan almost felt like chasing after Laura. Not because she felt guilty, but because she was afraid. She was afraid that Kid would get seriously injured. Well, she could only hope for the best.

Black Star struck a pose as he stood waiting on the steps of Shibusen, reveling in all his awesome glory, when he felt an unsettling aura come from the bottom of the stage. It was a 'pissed mist' (thank you for the awesome wordplay adam ferrara!)

This, however, did not intimidate Black Star, it only excited and interested him. His grin broadened upon recognizing the person and he jumped down to meet a very frustrated Laura. Tsubaki trailed behind him.

"Yo, Laura! Where's the nail biter? Shouldn't she be here worshiping my Godliness?"

Laura gave a hollow laugh, "She's not coming; she won't come no matter what I say."

"Cuz kid saw her boobs?" Black Star said with a blink, rubbing the back of his head.

"Black Star!" Tsubaki scolded, blushing at his word choice.

"Well, her bra, but it's basically the same thing," Laura said, sweat-dropping at his bluntness. There were times to be blunt, and times not to be. This was one of those times not to be.

Their conversation was cut short when they heard three sets of footsteps come from the school. Laura looked up and glared at Kid (but not Liz and Patty since they had nothing to do with what happened.)

"Well, I hope you're happy! Meghan's too embarrassed to come to school today because a certain whack job decided to broadcast the symmetry of her chest to the entire class, and it didn't help that you stared at them for waaayyy too long."

Kid's face fell even more than it already was, and his eyes held true guilt and remorse, "I-I know, and I'm sorry. To both of you. I wanted to apologize to Meghan, too, but…"

Laura growled, "Sorry's not gonna cut it this time. Meghan's really sensitive, she doesn't know how to let stuff like this go like I do. She can be a real wimp sometimes, but I do understand why she wouldn't want to see you at all."

Kid looked really sad when he heard that. He knew he had gone too far and was willing to make up for it, why couldn't they see that? Or did they just not care?

"Black Star, I need your help. We're gonna show Kid how serious this is."

Black star stared at her. Laura's muscles were tense for the fight. Her hands poised for defending an attack or making one herself. What really got him was her eyes. Normally they were wild and full of power, but now they were a concentrated mass of fighting spirit. Never had he seen her like this. He smirked.

"Gotcha."

Kid blinked up in surprise after seeing Tsubaki transform and Black Star along with Laura prepare to fight him.

"Let's spar, Kid, you against me and Black Star, since my weapon isn't here."

Kid looked surprised and a little intimidated. However, he knew he could not back down from this challenge. If he won, he knew Laura would forgive him for what happened on the honor code. If he lost, though, there was sure to be Hell to pay. He had to win.

"I accept. Patty, Liz." On command, the two girls transformed into guns and flew to Kid's hand. For a few seconds, no one moved. Each person was waiting for someone else to make the first move. Black Star, not being one for waiting, gave up after a few seconds and launched his attack.

"Tsubaki, let's go!" Black Star cried. Tsubaki echoed him with a "yes," and they charged into battle. Kid easily dodged Black Star's left handed swipe, and blocked the right handed swipe with his left hand, who happened to be Liz.

As this happened, Laura drop kicked Kid from twenty feet in the air. He managed to evade it at the last second, but was barraged by Black Star just as quickly. Kid fended off the attacks as best he could, but one clipped his shoulder. The cut wasn't bad, but he learned his lesson.

"This isn't even a fair battle," Liz commented to Kid. He knew it wasn't but there was little he could do about it. He hasn't gotten the chance to go on the offense, and he didn't think he ever would. He would be torn apart at this rate.

"Look, Laura, this battle is uneven," Kid tried to reason. He only hoped that her anger would not blind her.

"Really? I think it's fair. 3 vs. 3. It's your own choosing that you want to have two weapons and not two people. We simply don't have that choice. I don't know why you aren't winning; I thought you were supposed to be someone special," Laura remarked as she prepped herself for another attack.

Kid knew that she was trying to goad him. He knew it, but it was working. Her logic made sense now that she said it. He could find no flaw. Still, she irked him to no end. Caused a small twitch in his eyebrow, which made him more annoyed because it was only one eyebrow. Damn her.

"You want a fight? Fine, let's go."

Kid had Patty switch out of being a gun and hold her sister as a weapon. Kid wanted to fight Laura 1 on 1, mano a mano, man to man, or man to woman... whatever. He knew Patty and Liz could hold their own against Black Star and Tsubaki, he wasn't worried about them. He was, however, worried about himself.

Laura had disappeared from his sight. Looking around, he didn't spot her red shirt that she was wearing, or her brown hair in a ponytail. With neither of these signs, he closed his eyes to see if he could hear her. He did.

He heard and felt the whoosh of her leg coming down on top of him before he could ever see it. He reacted just before contact and put his arms up to block it. He was just in time. His arms were strong enough to prevent the kick from crashing into his skull, but he could not bear the full force of it and had to go to his knees to absorb the impact. Damn, she was strong.

Seeing her kick was unsuccessful, Laura back flipped out of it and landed several feet away. Kid got off his knees in the same time, ready for another sneak attack. He didn't need to as it turned out. Laura just rushed at him in full sprint with her arm back, rearing for a punch.

Kid could not tell if it was a feint or a real punch. He knew Laura was smart and concluded that she was going for a feint. He still put up a defense for the punch, but put little effort behind it. He expected her to fake a punch, elbow him on his right, then do some kind of aerial attack. Thus he prepared to grab her elbow should it come.

He was wrong. Dead wrong. Not only was she not feinting, but she was putting every once of strength she had into that punch.

It was half a second before the punch connected with Kid's jaw that Laura decided to be a little merciful and telegraph her attack with a taunt, "Hope you like stars!"

It was then that Kid realized that there was no feint. Shit. He was about to lose most of his teeth. He could not stop the punch from hitting him, so instead he decided to fall back with it, lessening the damage. Still, her fist and his jaw equaled to a whole lot of pain.

Meanwhile, Black Star and Patty were battling it out. Not with weapons though. At first, Patty had fired a few shots that Black Star dodged. Black Star then tried to attack Patty with Tsubaki as nunchucks, but she deflected them saying, "didja really think that would work?"

"As much as those puny Nerf darts worked," Black Star replied with a grin at his own joke. Patty pouted.

"Yeah, a kid with no skill can totally say that."

"What? I am the man who will surpass God! The almighty Black Star!"

"So, right now you're a wimp, right?"

"Says the girl with a sailboat on her head."

"Yo mama was a sailboat"

"I never knew my mama," Black Star replied looking forlorn.

"Aw, you gonna cry now? TOO BAD!" Patty yelled with a cackle as she rolled on the ground laughing.

"Uh, Patty, that was a little mean," Liz said, disapproving of her sister's behavior.

"I doubt you know yo mama either!" Black Star shouted.

"Black Star!" Tsubaki chided, finally getting a word in, "you shouldn't sink to their level of insulting people's parentage."

"No, he's right. We don't know our mom," Liz said becoming a human again. She was fed up with the fighting right now. Tsubaki also became human, giving up on actual fighting as well. That didn't stop Patty and Black Star, though. They were all revved up and ready to go.

"Yo mama's so stupid that when she went to the movie theatre and it said no one under 17 she went home and got 16 of her friends."

"Yo mama's so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!"

"Well, yo mama's so old that when she was in school, they didn't have a history class."

And the witty banter went back and forth. Vaguely, Liz wondered where her meiser had gone. Well, he would be alright wherever he was, right?

As it turned out, he wasn't. Kid found himself a second later in the side of the school, a good three feet off the ground. He expected Laura to jump at him then and finish him off while he was still incapacitated. She didn't let him down.

She lunged at him, prepared to kick him in the stomach and further into the wall. Kid had finally woken up and realized that she was out to kill. And since it was like that, he needed to use all the tricks in the book to get him out alive.

He rolled his legs to his chest, and used his hands to push off the wall and meet Laura in mid-air. His legs almost connected with her head, but at the last second she grabbed them and swung him towards the ground.

He landed with a roll regaining his balance. Looking up, Kid saw her wall kick and land on a spire jutting out from the castle. She perched there like a cat, or more like a panther as she crouched, ready to strike her prey: Kid.

Kid knew it was time to stop defending and start attacking. Leaping up, he made his way to where Laura perched. She had lost him actually, distracted by a "yo mama" joke Patty had just made about Black Star's mom and a tea pot. Kid saw his chance.

Kid was about jump out from his hiding place and attack when he stopped in mid-air. A moment of pure joy came over him. Laura was sitting perfectly symmetrical on the ledge. She was not a centimeter off on any angle. Her hair had somehow righted itself so each fly-away strand was mirroring another one. The wind was blowing directly in her face, too, so her shirt and pants were symmetrical. It was a moment of bliss for Kid. One that cost him dearly.

Laura saw Kid when he jumped up, and reacted like a wild panther. Purely on instinct, too. She registered his look of bliss for half a second before pouncing. The force of her attack on him knocked Kid out of his reverie.

The two fought in mid-air to see who would be the one to take on the impact of the ground. Kid lost.

The details of his pain are too great to explain, so imagine for yourself what happens to an egg dropped from fifty feet onto spikes that simultaneously exploded and set the egg on fire only to then be pierced by a thousand needles. Okay, the pain wasn't that bad, but that's the general idea.

"Kid, you okay?" Laura asked kneeling beside him when it was clear she won. He nodded meekly. "Good. Now I would like to lay down a few conditions."

"First, don't do anything that physically harms Meggie. If you do, I get full rights to reciprocate that pain back to you with interest. Lots of interest." To show that he was still listening, Kid nodded again. His lungs weren't getting enough air at the moment to speak.

"Secondly, I want blackmail material." Kid looked at her questioningly. Or tried to, anyway. It didn't quite work, but Laura got the idea. "Just something so if you go too far, I can punish you without having to physically hurt you. 'Cause as much as I enjoyed this, I don't plan on doing it again. Next time, you might REALLY be killed."

He didn't doubt it.

"Lastly, you need to tell me of all plans beforehand. Don't worry about this because I want her to stop biting her nails, too. Drives me nuts! She could easily get a nail clipper, but no. she just has to sit there and oooh, its so aggravating."

Kid was taken aback by this. She wanted to help? Well, he reasoned, having her as an ally was certainly much better than having her as an enemy. Who knows? She may have some other ideas that he didn't write down.

"Fine," Kid said finding his voice, "I agree."

Laura took his hand and shook it to seal the deal. She had a happy smile, one that Kid was slightly afraid of. He almost regretted choosing her as his ally. Almost.

"Wow, Laura, you really did a number on him!" Black Star commented sauntering over.

"Yeah, it was a tough battle. What happened with you and Patty?"

"It was so much fun, Laura!" Patty said coming up from behind her, scaring her half to death, "we just went back and forth with 'yo mama' jokes for a while."

"Until Tsubaki finally put an end to it," Liz added.

"Yes, I knocked Black Star out for a moment, and Patty began laughing so hard she forgot all about it," Tsubaki remarked and began apologizing again to Black Star for knocking him out.

"So what happened here?" Liz asked, poking Kid in the side to see if he was awake.

"We just struck a deal, that's all," Laura said brightly with a smile. No one questioned it, and soon everyone broke off and went to class as the bell rang.

Later that day,

Kid knocked on Meghan's and Laura's apartment door, feeling quite sore form his previous battle, but tried to hide it so he wouldn't make Meghan feel bad. It didn't work.

"Yes, can I help y- Oh my god!" Meghan shouted, upon sight of Kid's bruised form, swollen jaw and all.

"Uh...hello Meghan.." All previous practice of just how he'd apologize flew out the window, he had no idea how to start. He felt slightly depressed that things weren't going perfectly. It was such a good plan, too. He was about to cry and collapse to the ground, when he heard Meghan sigh.

"Did Laura do this?"

"Well uh, I suppose we both did. All it was was a spar that got out of hand, she didn't do anything illegal if that's what you mean."

Meghan tried not to smile, in a way Laura had really come through for her, but she also had to admit giving Kid a swollen jaw was a little over the top. She couldn't yell at said friend because she was out at the moment with Liz and Patty. Laura had invite Meghan to come along, but she declined, saying how she wanted a quiet evening. So much for that plan.

"Come on, I have something that'll help." Meghan led him by the wrist into the kitchen, sitting him down and retrieving the witch hazel and cotton balls from the bathroom.

"Dab some of that where it hurts, I'll get some ice for your jaw. Then I want an explanation for what happened yesterday, alright?" She gave him a look that was both flexible and stern. An odd combination that could only make sense when Meghan did it.

When she handed him the ice, he felt the relief spread through his lower face as it slowly brought the swelling down, Meghan waited patiently, trying desperately not to bite her nails as she grew bored waiting.

"Look, Meghan, I was out of line yesterday. I never mean for my obsessions to get so out of hand, they just do. It's always been like that. I truly didn't mean to embarrass you yesterday, that wasn't the point of what I was trying to do. But that's no excuse for what I did because it still hurt you and I'm sorry...can you forgive me?"

Meghan listened carefully to what he was saying. He didn't say anything about giving up, she didn't expect him to, but his apology was still sincere. She gave a slight sigh, but Kid felt his heart rise when he saw a quirk of the lips.

"I suppose. You may be a weirdo and a complete psycho sometimes, but I still think you're a good person. One I'd like to be friends with if you can get over the nail biting?" Meghan gave him a hopeful look and he smiled, nodding.

"Definitely, though I'm not saying I'm going to give up. I will eventually get you to stop biting your nails." He held out his hand for her to shake.

Meghan rolled her eyes, but she didn't feel as nervous as she was at the beginning, it was a new chapter int his wacky crack story.

She put her hand in his and they both shook on it, "I'm not saying it's going to work either Kid-kun. But let the war begin my friend."

Yeah, we decided to let it end on a good note. Sorry about the long battle scene. I get carried away when I write them, as you can well tell.

Kisa: It wasn't until I stepped in that she actually stopped.

Me: Well, you were playing Cooking Mama so...

Kisa: And I still can't get a gold on the Shumai Wonton!

Me: We will conquer them eventually...

Until then, we will continue writing the next chapter. Please review, I like to know what people are thinking, and send us your ideas for a way fro Kid to get her to stop! We welcome them with open arms.

Kisa: and cookies.

Me: Mmmm, cookies.

C ya l8r!