I'd like to thank MonkeyKingXIII for his suggestion/providing the inspiration for this. Also, as a quick warning, this one is darker than Fox's story.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or styles in this piece, they are owned by Nintendo

As I stood there, my tail feathers being fried off by twin walls of fire, I couldn't help but wonder at how far I'd fallen. Here I was, the once great Falco Lombardi, getting my arse handed to me by what I could only describe as a pair of sexually questionable ten year olds. Maybe I'd underestimated them, and had been too hasty in my attacks. Perhaps I'd become too reliant of fighting with a teammate. Or possibly my worst fear was true, it could be that they were just on a whole different level to me. Whatever the reason was, the result was the same. I was going to lose and the way things looked now, there was nothing that I could do about it.

But to be honest the fact that I was going to lose no longer bothered me. The pain from the bruises and burn marks that riddled my body paled in comparison to the far greater wound that this battle would inflict. The real horror that this battle confronted me with was the embarrassment it would bring me to lose to ten year olds. And perhaps a thousand times worse, the almost sexual satisfaction it'd give that blasted Fox. I was going to have to sit through another one of his monologues about how much he loved himself. Arrogant jackass.

The ramifications of my ongoing humiliation rolled through my mind. Relentlessly my brain generated progressively worse scenarios and greater mortifications. It was just another chapter in the unending cycle of self-doubt and self-recrimination, which had been my life since landing on this miserable planet. And yet, throughout this maelstrom of blame and self-pity, there was one thought that I consistently came back to: how had it come to this?

I suppose that it started just after Fox and I fought that pair of monkeys. We battled, I died, we won, and then I got a lecture, fairly routine. Even what followed was pretty much par for the course. As usual I was left in the courtyard to desperately try to hold back both my memories and tears, while Fox retired to his room and had his way with some of his four legged friends. It was sad, depressing and miserable, but all in all relatively typical. At least it would have been if it weren't for the arrival of Master Glove and the Poppinfresh twins.

There I was sitting next to Link minding my own business, not hurting or offending anybody, when all of a sudden a shadow fell over the park bench on which we sat. Link, who later explained to me that prior experience had given him a sixth sense for this sort of thing, sprung from his spot, back flipped into a 'safer' spot, and then proceeded to draw a bow on me. Sadly though I wasn't quite so fast. As it turns out the punishment for sloth on this planet was to be squashed to death by a giant glove falling from the sky. Rather oddly my last thought was to wonder where Link had pulled that bow from. Not the most stylish of ways to die.

Luckily I had another guy. Almost instantaneously I was re-pixelated not 5 feet from where I had been sitting. My murderer turned out to be my master, who now posed proudly in front of me. On his back, hugging each other very closely, sat my current tormentors. They were short, rosy cheeked little boys dressed in matching clothing, from the short shorts to prescription shoes. The very sight of them filled me with an unspeakable horror. It wasn't the fact that they each brandished a baseball bat. Nor was it the fact that the blond one's hair defied gravity. It was something else, something far more sinister that made me shake in my boots.

Master Glover said that their names were Ness and Lucas; I cared not. The black haired on smacked the green plumber in the face with a yo-yo, I didn't bat an eyelid. The other one exaggeratedly and suggestively spanked the yo-yo wielder for his rudeness; the strangeness of this didn't register on me for hours. All of this I missed because I was transfixed on their most dominant feature. The hollow black expanse of their soulless eyes. Nothing stirred in that darkness, not a glimmer of emotion nor intelligence could be seen in those cold empty eyes. It was like looking at death, permanent death, and it scared me.

My attention was only drawn away from them when my master turned to address me.

'You're that blue parrot that fights with Fox aren't you. Falco was it? Actually never mind, I don't care; your name doesn't matter.'

He seemed to be as pleasant as always.

'It's your lucky day though. I've got myself two new stars here you see. I'm sure the crowd will love them. But first they need to win a few matches, stretch their muscles, and show off a bit. So I need someone who's well known and popular, but who'll lose. And I think that you fit that description perfectly.'

Oh god, please don't let him say what I think he's about to say.

'Suit up birdy your battle begins in an hour.'

Damn; why is it always me?

'Oh and by the way, they have psychic powers.'

Fuck.

'One hour, be there or I'll finish you off, permanently.'

What followed was one of the longest hours of my life. I sat there and watched the frolic and dance with each other, their activities becoming progressively more flamboyant as the crowd watching them grew. It was about the point where they were kissing each other's necks, their soulless eye's surveying the crowd dispassionately all the while, that I came to the conclusion that I was going to get my arse handed to me. From the lack of look in their eyes I didn't expect to receive any mercy.

My prediction was correct. Thus it is that I stand here being burned alive in front of thousands of spectators. Once again, bruised, burning and humiliated. I can hear Fox's laughter from his place in the crowd from here. It'd finally happened. I'd finally sunk so low, become so pathetic that I disgusted even myself. I started to hate my life. And with that conclusion, what little fight I had in me deserted me. I no longer cared. It didn't matter what happened to me now.

Eventually their psychic fires died down, and I was left to collapse to the ground. To either side of me, my foes performed a merry jig, posing and milking the crowd for all their worth. And the crowd responded, they adored the dancing duo, I do not know why. Perhaps, being so far away, they were unable to see the heartless cold cruelty of their eyes. They called to the boys, they cheered for the boys, and they were crazy about the new fighting force. They gave them everything that they'd denied me. Just like Fox before them, these boys were taking all the crowd's love.

'NESS! NESS! NESS!'

'LUCAS LUCAS!'

'They're so adorable!'

'You can do it, finish the bird off!'

All these cries and more washed over me, as I watched the boys come closer. How I wished that it was me they were cheering for. How I wished for their acceptance.

'Wow do you here that Mr Bird, the crowd loves us,' smiled Lucas.

I sent him a solemn glare and spat out the blood that had built up in my mouth.

'Just finish me off,' I growled with as much dignity as I could manage.

'Yeah, maybe we should,' replied Lucas.

'Ok Mr Bird, we'll end this fight now. But we haven't had enough blood to satisfy us yet!' grinned Ness as he knelt down to where sat in a heap.

'Yeah not nearly enough!'

'Tonight we're going to come to your room and beat you up again, and again, and again. We're going to keep doing it until you know just how much of an inferior wretch you really are. Ok?'

'We're going to have so much fun Mr Bird!'

It was all I could do to stare at them in abject horror. Not once did their smiles falter, not once did their expression change. They were psychopaths. A cold shiver swept across my burnt flesh. Why me?

'Ok here I go!' announced Ness gleefully as he produced his bat.

Before I'd even had a chance to register what was going on the prepubescent psyker unleashed a devastating blow on me sending me flying into the sky, hurtling off the side of the platform on which we'd fought. Time seemed to slow down as I arced, upside down, across the sky. It seemed like I had a lifetime in which to contemplate my situations and the scene before me.

Behind me the kids had already started to hug in victory. The crowd around us cheered wildly, loving my defeat, revelling in my shame. My master watched silently, somehow I knew he was pleased with how this had turned out. In the midst of it all sat Fox, pointing at me, tears of laughter pouring down his face. He was holding his side and clearly having trouble breathing, he was clearly having the time of his life. Of the thousands that occupied the stadium, I alone was the only one in misery. I alone was suffering. I alone had lost everything.

It may have been the fact that all the blood was rushing to my head, it may have been because I'd been pushed too far, beyond the realms of self-loathing, but something inside me cracked. I'd had enough. I was tired of being everyone's punching bag, tired of being Fox's weak sidekick. And most of all I was tired of being beaten up by a pair of brats barely out of diapers. I wasn't going to let this happen, even if it killed me in the process I'd wreck those monsters, I'd get some of my pride back.

A violent scream ripped its way forth from my lungs, echoing around the stadium, silencing the crowd's bloodlust. The air around me distorted and warped under the pressure of my rage. Calling upon a deep reserve of energy I wasn't aware that I had, I bent reality in on itself, moulded the world around me into a form I found more suitable. I stilled in mid air, around me a series of lasers formed an intricate pattern, before solidifying into solid steel. My anger had summoned a Landmaster Battle Tank. I was going to utterly destroy those midgets.

Releasing a volley of blasts from the main turret in quick succession the tank was flung through the air towards the main stage and my quarry. They stood there, their mouths agape in shock, as a wall of solid steel lumbered through the heavens towards them. Ness was the smarter of the two, dropping his bat he ran as fast as he could away from certain death. Lucas however was frozen in place, his knees shaking, an emotion finally interrupting his gleeful expression; fear. He made a perfect target.

I'll admit that at this point I'd completely lost it. I was sitting in the driver's seat cackling like mad as I swung the gun turret around to point directly at the blond boy. I watched as I fell closer and closer to him, and still he didn't move. When I was at point blank range I unleashed an earth shuddering blast, completely obliterating the smug boy. The Landmaster was driven back, landing heavily, shaking the platform under its immense weight. The smoke from my shot cleared revealing only a charred pair of sneakers where Lucas had once stood.

One down, one two go. My satisfaction knew no bounds.

My delight was short-lived however, for suddenly my world turned green. Turning the tank I saw Ness staring at me in deep concentration, above him floated a ball of green energy. The tanks treads had been ruined in its landing so I had no hope of escaping the attack; my only hope was interrupting Ness' concentration with a well placed shot. In a heartbeat I'd taken aim and released another round of cannon fire, but I was too slow. Even as I fired I felt an explosion rip through the armour plating of my tank, hitting a fuel line and completely destroying my war machine. With what little remained of my well of energy I was able to summon the lasers once more and protect myself from the blast.

I landed lightly on the platform scanning the smoke in front of me for any sign of my foe, I'd managed to shoot him, but as of yet I had no proof that it had hit him. There was a tense few moments, but eventually the smoke parted enough for me to make out a sphere of glowing blue energy. He'd erected some sort of shield to protect himself from the blast. My shot hadn't even phased him, and worse yet he was smiling once again. Cocky brat.

He dropped his shield, and before he'd so much as moved I'd shadow stepped to him and began to release a devastating assault. Spinning on the spot I rained blow after cutting blow on him, covering him in small wounds and cuts. Eventually however he got free of my attack and managed to roll behind me; once there he dropped to the floor and attempted to kick my feet out from under me. But I was still held fast in the grip of my rage, I hopped slightly in the air avoiding his attack and releasing a devastating kick directly to his head. He was sent skidding across the stage, most of his face broken.

I stood there for a second, catching my breath, as he rose from the ground and dusted himself off. I'd once more managed to wipe the smile off of his face, what he showed now was what I suspect is his true self. A grotesque look of fury distorted his features; his eyes somehow seemed to become even darker, as if they drew in and fed off of surrounding light. I'd gotten to him, excellent.

I started to walk towards him, hoping that my ominous approach would scare the midget even further. I was out of luck in that regard though, for as I took my first step towards him, the strangest thing happened. He began to glow, and rise up in the air. His eyes in the previously so empty and soulless suddenly blazed with the power of the sun. The world began to shake, the air around him seemed to crackle, lightning danced around him. And then it came. In a spot equidistant from the two of us, a blazing meteorite suddenly smashed down to the ground, punching a crater into the battlefield.

Looking up, I saw, to my horror, that the kid was hurling an entire bombardment of meteors at the stage. My only saving grace was that his aim was limited at best, making the storm smash into the stage randomly. I dodged and avoided what meteors I could, but inevitably there came one that I didn't see in time to dodge; one from which I couldn't escape. The meteorite came crashing down on me, 5 tonnes of rock ready to pulverise me to dust. I did the only thing I could do; I used my most powerful attack in a desperate attempt to destroy the meteorite.

I flipped on the spot, pummelling the rock with a devastating kick. Somehow my attack was successful; the gargantuan missile was sent flying away from me off towards the crowd. I felt a moment's guilt at the likely very large number of people that had fallen victim to that manoeuvre. Guilt was soon swallowed once more by rage however, as I caught sight of my foe still hovering in midair, as if he had yet more to summon. I couldn't let that happen. Drawing my pistol I took careful aim, I'd only have one shot at this, I had to do it right.

The world went silent, for a split second we two were the only things in existence. He was all that mattered, everything else was just a distraction. Squeezing the trigger I released a blast from my gun, dead eyeing him right in the middle of his forehead. It wasn't enough to defeat him, but it broke his concentration and knocked him out of his floating position. He fell like a brick to the ground, but I was faster. Shadow stepping over, I caught him with a double handed blow as he was falling. Finally the brat was sent hurtling off the stage and down to the dark depths and his death.

The crowd was filled with stunned silence. Master Glove was enraged. Fox was cleaning his nails. A second later, the crowd registered what had happened and they began to cheer their lungs out. Master Glove relaxed; this would be good for sales. Fox began cleaning his fangs. I collapsed where I was and let the love of the crowd wash over me. Wave after wave of adulation swept over me cleansing my soul of the crippling depression I'd been facing just moments ago.

I'd won. I'd done it. I'd finally proven myself on this godforsaken planet. I was no longer in Fox's shadow. I couldn't help but note what a beautiful day it was.

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