Edward

I tried to pay attention to what was going on around me but the bulk of my attention was focused on the kitchen. Everyone had separated into their own private conversations. Jasper and Emmett were talking about a hunting trip. I needed to go with them. It had been almost two weeks since I had hunted last. The thirst was starting to burn within me. They were making plans to go to a spot where they knew there were some bears. I was only half listening.

I tuned into Esme and saw her open the refrigerator and ask Bella what she wanted. Bella looked amused by that and asked why they even had food at all. Esme told her that Tanya and her sisters often had human guests. Bella didn't ask why and I was glad. I didn't want any thoughts to be put in her head. I saw the way she flinched at Tanya's name and so did Esme.

That witch! Esme thought. She knew exactly what she was doing, trying to hurt Bella like that! Well, I am not going to allow that! Esme's thoughts were vehement but her voice was soft when she spoke.

Don't let her bother you. She has always had a soft spot for Edward, though he has never given her the least bit of encouragement. She is a little jealous that you have managed to steal his heart. Esme told her. I saw Bella roll her eyes. Didn't she know she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen? Tanya could never hold a candle to her.

I watched Bella hunt around the kitchen. I laughed out loud when she asked Esme to cut up the fruit for her. She was right; she would probably cut herself. Esme's laughter echoed out of the kitchen a few seconds later. Everyone looked at me and I quickly excused myself outside. I wanted to hear Bella and Esme's discussion without interruptions.

I sat down on the far corner of the porch, well out of the way and focused back on Esme.

-good to see you again, Esme. I've missed you. You're like my mom away from home, if you know what I mean. I felt Esme's happiness.

I've missed you too. I think of you as my daughter and I am glad you are back with us. My family is complete now and it is all because of you. Bella's skin turned the lovely shade of pink that I adored and she shook her head to deny it.

Bella, you don't know what it has been like around here. Emmett wouldn't laugh and Rosalie was more upset than she let most of us know. Jasper spent most of his time alone because there was so much sadness coming from everyone. Alice even spent less time shopping. I saw Bella's eyes widen.

Edward doesn't understand how much at the heart of this family he is. When we first came here, you know, after, it was so hard on him. He could tell how much his anguish at leaving you was hurting us. We couldn't do anything to make him feel better; our sympathy only seemed to make it worse. Soon he just left, gone for weeks at a time. When he would come back we were so happy to see him and so distressed at how much he was suffering. Finally he stopped coming back at all. He would call us, let us know he was ok, but we could tell how much he was hurting.

I felt disgusted with myself. How had I let my pain hurt so many people that I cared about? I was such a horrible selfish person.

I saw through Esme's eyes that Bella had tears in hers. Esme, I'm so sorry. Sorry that you and Edward and the rest of the family had to suffer so much. Do you ever think that you all would have been better off if I had never come into Edward's life? All I have done is bring suffering on all of you. Her face twisted into a grimace. I could not imagine what my life would be like if I had not met Bella. She had become the center of my world so absolutely that I could not remember what my previous life had been like.

Bella, no. Bella, you have no idea how much brightness you have brought to our lives by your mere presence. Bella looked at her skeptically. I mean it, Bella. Her voice was firm with conviction. She needs to understand how amazing she is, Esme thought.

Before you, Edward merely existed. He traveled though his life, doing what was expected of him, but not really living it. He would have moments of happiness, of joy, excitement, but really he just wandered. Then, after he met you and fell in love with you, Bella it was like suddenly the sun emanated from him. And he brought all that light to the whole family. He was so happy the rest of us were infected by it too. Like a virus.

Bella smiled at that. I hadn't realized that everyone else had been so affected. All I had been able to concentrate on was Bella; I had been oblivious to everything else. Of course, I was still that way.

I have never seen him so happy as when he was with you. I heard him laugh more often than I could ever remember. He even started playing the piano again, something he hadn't done in almost a decade. That was you, Bella. You caused those changes in him. He saw in you the things we have all come to see. Your kind and generous nature. How selfless and good you are, what a beautiful soul you have. And we love you for the same reasons. She sighed when Bella shook her head in denial.

You don't see how special you really are do you? Bella, from the first moment, you accepted us for what we are and loved us for who we are. That is such a rare thing, in a human or a vampire. You have such a huge capacity for love and we are so glad to have you with us, in our family. I was glad that my family was able to see all the wonderful things that I loved about Bella.

Bella looked surprised by Esme's words.

But Esme, you are all so wonderful how can anyone help but to love you?

Esme laughed. That's exactly what I mean Bella. Not everyone can love so completely, with such acceptance. You are truly special. She really was.

Thank you, Esme.

Thank you, Bella. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to go track Edward down, more than I can fathom. I will be forever thankful for your strength; I don't know many people who could be that strong. I was still amazed by that courage.

Bella frowned. I'm not that strong, Esme. I was terrified the whole time, worried I was making a huge fool of myself. I had no idea what he would do, what he would say. I was ready to come back home. What was I doing? Chasing someone who had rejected me; I felt pathetic. It hurt me so much when he left me. I didn't know his real reasons. I thought I was unloved and un-loveable. I mean really, Edward is so amazing and I have always felt so insignificant next to him. When he told me that he didn't want me, that I wasn't good for him, it wasn't so hard to believe. How could I ever be good enough for an angel? Bella laughed without amusement.

I sat there, stunned. I had no idea she felt that way. She felt insignificant? Next to me? I was so in awe of everything about her. She was a hundred times better than I could ever hope to be and she thought she wasn't good enough for me? I couldn't believe it.

It hurt me to hear that she felt un-loveable; the pain of it burned in my chest. I had damaged her self esteem so much and I knew I would do everything in my power to make her understand how truly wonderful she was.

Bella, my dear sweet Bella. Please don't ever feel that way. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. You complete him in a way I thought he never would be able to be. You are not insignificant. You fill up the holes in his soul and he does the same for you. You belong together; you were made for each other.

I would be forever lucky that Esme was my mother. She always knew the perfect thing to say. It was true. I felt complete, whole when I was with Bella. We did belong together. Nothing would be able to keep us apart ever again.

I saw Bella brush tears from her eyes.

Well, now that I know the reason he left I feel better. Angry but better. And there is no way I am ever going to let him get away from me again. Next time he might go to Siberia or something. If you think my Spanish is bad you should hear my Russian.

I laughed out loud. Bella's Spanish was atrocious. I understood her anger now too. I was angry at myself for what I had done to her. Somehow I would find a way to make that pain go away. Until then I would simply give her all the love I had. And that was an awful lot.

I watched Bella and Esme hold each other for a long time. Then I heard the front door open and Jasper came out.

We are leaving in about an hour to go hunt. Are you coming with us? It had been a while since I had hunted with my brothers and we were all looking forward to it.

I nodded my head and went inside to find Bella.