Chapter 19-Nightmares of Terror

Hotch lay looking up at the ceiling in the darkened room not paying any real attention to the various discolored markings on the ceiling. His mind was still on the video which had been made earlier and that he was certain, by now, his team had viewed. He wondered what they thought when they saw him and what went through their minds at not only what was being done to him, but his bodily response to it. Swallowing hard, he felt tears run down the side of his face from the corners of his eyes. He had never been so humiliated and ashamed in his entire life.

How will I ever be able to look them in the face again? he thought to himself. How will they ever look at me again without pity and disgust on their faces? The great Aaron Hotchner, always so controlled and in control. That's a laugh now, isn't it? You certainly lost control earlier, didn't you, Aaron? You couldn't even control your own body. He sighed sadly and licked his lips. Some team leader I turned out to be. If I somehow get out of here alive, I'll step down and turn the Unit Chief job over to Morgan. He wouldn't embarrass himself or the position like I did.

Hotch squeezed his eyes shut as the tears continued to fall.

Aaron?" Armitage said sweetly.

"Go to hell!" Hotch said firmly without opening his eyes. He tried not to move his head because of the Heretics Fork, but really didn't care anymore. Also, the metal wedges jammed under his toe nails continued to hurt. "Haven't you done enough to me already?"

"I suggest you watch your mouth, Aaron. Or do I have to punish you again?"

"I don't care what you do anymore," Hotch replied now glaring at the man standing at the foot of his bed with arms folded and what looked like a knife in one hand. The agent's eyes focused on the shiny blade and then shifted back to Armitage. "What do you plan to do now? Cut off my feet? Wouldn't be any need for the metal wedges then, would there? Decapitate me? I don't think so. You can't get me to react without my head. Or maybe you just like walking around with shiny objects?" He could see his captor's face was turning a deep shade of crimson meaning he was becoming angry. "I'm not playing your games anymore, Armitage. So either kill me now, or get out and leave me the hell alone."

"You're trying to make me angry now, aren't you?" Armitage said.

"I'm not trying to make you do anything. Just go fuck yourself and leave me the fuck alone!"

"I see I'm going to have to teach you a lesson, Aaron," Armitage began as he slowly approached the side of the bed and held up what Hotch saw now was a meat cleaver. "Now this is going to hurt quite a bit just so you know." Leaning over the bed, Armitage grabbed the waistband of Hotch's boxers and pulled them down to his knees exposing his groin area. "I figure once I emasculate you, you'll behave. But don't worry. I'll do my best to control the bleeding so that you'll live." Then, reaching out with one hand, he grabbed Hotch's penis and testicles and firmly held them straight out. He then pressed the sharp blade of the knife at the base of his penis and began to cut. Aaron Hotchner screamed.

Hotch's eyes flew open suddenly as he moved his eyes around and noticed he was still alone. He allowed his eyes to shift downward toward his genital area and realized he was still intact physically. He sighed more in relief than anything else as he closed his eyes. It was only a dream, he told himself. Just a dream. He then opened his eyes again as a thought suddenly occurred to him. Or was it a premonition of something yet to come?

JJ continued sitting at her desk in her office staring out the closed window. She had since gotten slowly to her feet after awhile and unlocked her door just in case one of her teammates needed to see her before returning to her desk. She was still thinking about what she had seen happening to her boss and friend on the video when it happened.

A noise made her look up to see a subdued David Rossi standing in the doorway of her office; his eyes were moist and caused her lower lip to tremble. "No, oh no. David, don't tell me. Please say it isn't true. Hotch isn't…"

"I'm sorry, JJ, but….I got a phone call from the local police a few minutes ago. Hotch's body was found in a ditch near a construction site about a mile outside of Fairfax. He…he'd been decapitated."

JJ wiped at her wet eyes. "Then how do they know it was Hotch? If the body was decapitated…"

Rossi sighed wearily. "His head was found lying near the body. He'd apparently been badly tortured before being killed."

"No…no…NO! Nooooooooooooo!" JJ shouted at the top of her lungs. "Noooooo!"

JJ woke up with a start breathing heavily with a hand clamped over her mouth. She looked up hearing footsteps and saw David Rossi hurrying into her office, followed by Prentiss, Morgan, Reid, and others having all been attracting by her screaming. As the members of her team approached her desk, JJ got to her feet and buried her head in Rossi's shoulder, sobbing. "Tell me it's not true," she murmured as the older profiler hugged her close. "It can't be true."

"Can't what be true, JJ?" Rossi asked gently.

JJ lifted her head. "Please tell me Hotch isn't dead. He can't be."

Rossi allowed a small smile to appear. "Hotch isn't dead, JJ. We have no proof that he is. You must've nodded off and had a dream."

"You're telling me the truth?" she asked hopefully. "Hotch isn't dead?"

"Rossi's telling you the truth," Morgan added. "As far as we know, Hotch is still alive."

Allowing herself a sigh of relief, JJ pulled away from Rossi, smiling faintly as she wiped at her eyes with her fingers. Then she saw the people gathered in her doorway watching. "I'm so embarrassed for scaring everybody by screaming like that. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize," Prentiss chimed in. "After what we all saw on that video, it's no wonder we all haven't had nightmares."

Reid looked over his shoulder and walked towards the open door. "Okay, everybody, show's over," he said slowly. "Everybody can go back to work now." He gently closed the door and returned to JJ's desk. He smiled embarrassingly. "Thought you might feel better without people staring at you," he added sheepishly.

Smiling sweetly, JJ approached Reid and gripped his shoulder giving it a squeeze. "Thanks," was all she said, her blue eyes looking straight into Reid's brown ones.

Rossi sat down on the edge of the desk with arms folded. "Care to talk about your dream?"

Facing him, JJ let out a deep breath. "I was at my desk looking out the window when you came to my office with this look on your face that immediately told me whatever you had to tell me was bad. Then you told me Hotch's body had been found in a ditch by the local police outside of Fairfax and he had been decapitated. When I asked you how could they tell it was Hotch, you said his head was found nearby and that his body had been tortured. That's when I lost it."

"I'm sorry," Rossi said gently.

"Don't be," JJ touched his arm and smiled. "But it was so real; I'm just glad it's not true." Suddenly, her smile vanished and was replaced with a frown. "David, please tell me we'll find Hotch before my dream becomes a reality."

"I promise you," Rossi's brown eyes looked directly into JJ's blue ones. "We'll find Hotch and bring him back. You have my word."

"Aaron? Time to wake up," said a too familiar voice.

"Go to hell," Hotch said careful not to move his head. "Haven't you done enough to me already?" He recalled this was the same conversation he had in his earlier dream.

"I suggest you watch your mouth, Aaron. Or do I have to punish you again?" asked Armitage.

"I don't care what you do anymore," Hotch shifted his eyes and saw his captor standing, with folded arms, at the foot of his bed, and seemed to be holding what looked like a knife in one hand. A shiver came over him. Just like in his dream. But also like in his dream, Hotch found himself getting angry as well.

"I don't care what you do anymore," he repeated glaring at the man who stood at the foot of his bed, his eyes focused on the shiny blade before shifting back to Armitage. "What do you plan to do now? Cut off my feet? Wouldn't need the metal wedges then, would we? Decapitate me? I don't think so. You can't get me to react without my head. Or maybe you just like walking around with shiny objects?" He noticed his captor's face turning a deep shade of crimson, but was unable to stop himself. "I'm not playing your game anymore, Armitage. So either kill me now, or get out and leave me the hell alone."

"You're trying to make me angry now, aren't you?" Armitage said.

"I'm not trying to make you do anything. Just go fuck yourself and leave me the fuck alone!"

"I see I'm going to have to teach you a lesson, Aaron," Armitage began as he slowly approached the side of the bed and held up what Hotch saw was a meat cleaver. "I'm afraid this is going to hurt quite a bit just so you know." He leaned over the bed, grabbed the waistband of Hotch's boxers and began pulling them down to his knees exposing the agent's groin area. "I figure once I emasculate you, you'll behave. But try not to worry, I'll do my best to control the bleeding so that you'll live." He heard Hotch gasp as the thin material of his boxers slid down his body to his knees and knew he had pushed his captor too far. Did his dream teach him nothing? Was this going to be his end? To go into shock after being castrated and die from massive blood loss? Or would he still somehow survive the castration and be forever scarred knowing his manhood had been permanently ripped from him?

"Please…" Hotch found himself pleading as he watched Armitage grab his penis and testicles and firmly hold them straight out but not in a painful manner all the while brandishing the knife in his other hand. "I…I didn't mean to upset you. I apologize. Please don't do this. You want me to beg? Fine, then I'm begging. Please don't do this."

Armitage smiled devilishly as he gazed into the terror-filled brown eyes of his captive. "Too late, Aaron," he said as he carefully placed the sharp blade at the base of Hotch's penis and began cutting. His humming was intermingled with Hotch's screams.

Hotch, sweating profusely, suddenly woke up realizing immediately and thankfully that he had dozed off again. Why was he having another dream so reminiscent of the first one? Was his mind trying to prepare him for the inevitable? Or was he formulating a means of torture yet to come at the hands of his captor? He didn't know anymore. Or perhaps, just perhaps, he didn't want to know. But somewhere in the dark recesses of his weary mind it occurred to him that it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that Armitage might castrate him just to add one final humiliation to his battered mind and body, and that would be the permanent removal of what made a man a man. Hotch sighed. Armitage had already made him feel like less of a man with what he did to him in the last video, but this humiliation would finish him completely. He wouldn't put it past the man to do it either. And the worst thing, at least to Hotch, was that there was nothing he could do to stop him.

Once JJ had calmed down enough for the others to leave, Reid headed to Garcia's office to help her try and pinpoint where Jason Armitage was holding Hotch; Prentiss, needing some air, decided to take a walk outside the building for a few minutes; Morgan, needing something to do, sat down at the conference table and began again going through the information they had already gathered. Rossi, on the other hand, slowly walked to the upper level pausing in front of Aaron Hotchner's office. It was dark inside and that seemed strange to Rossi since the entire team was home; yet, he also knew why it was dark inside. Gripping the doorknob, Rossi opened the door and went inside, closing the door behind him. He turned on the light by flicking the wall switch. Standing with his back to the door, he looked around the office, feeling closer to his good friend just by being here. Then his eyes fell on the empty leather chair and he frowned remembering the last time he saw Hotch sitting in that chair. He recalled the last time was when the two of them were waiting for the results of the DNA tests on the envelopes and letters sent to Hotch.

"Where are you, Aaron?" he said softly. "What is it we're missing?" Then, walking behind the desk, Rossi pulled out the leather chair and sat down, his elbows on the desk and hands rubbing together. Letting out a weary sigh, Rossi folded his arms on top of the desk and laid his forehead on his arms. He didn't want anyone to know how afraid he was that Hotch wouldn't survive this time and he'd never see his longtime friend again; not alive anyway.

"Dave?" a male voice was calling his name. While recognizing that voice he couldn't believe it. Lifting his head, Rossi's mouth opened and he immediately massaged his eyes with one hand as he couldn't believe who he saw standing before him.

"Aaron, is it really you?" the elder profiler said in a surprised voice. He slowly got to his feet.

Aaron Hotchner stood in front of his friend with a sad look on his face as he studied his friend. "Don't look so surprised, Dave," he said gently. "Do you really think I'd leave without saying goodbye to you? What kind of friend would that make me?"

"Goodbye? What do you mean by goodbye?" Rossi asked with narrowed eyes; suddenly, his eyes widened just a bit. "No. Aaron, you're not telling me that you're already…."

Hotch shook his head. "No I'm not. At least not yet. But my time is running out, Dave. And I might not have time to see the one man who has been my best friend and confidant for years for the last time. Besides, I'm in so much pain, I don't know how much more I can take. Remember in the beginning when I told you I had a feeling things were going to end badly for me?"

"Hotch…." Rossi began but shut his mouth when his friend held up a hand insisting on silence.

"I'm more positive of that now than before. I more than likely won't survive this. Just make sure you keep your promise to me to look after Haley and Jack for me."

"And I will. We all will. But you have to promise us, Aaron, that you won't give up. Just please don't give up. We are coming to get you. Reid figured out the clue you gave us about Fairfax. We know that's where Armitage has you. We just need to figure out where in Fairfax he's holding you. Reid also figured out about Armitage's mother, Ruth Bellows and her lover, Melvin Daley and their daughter Ruthanne. But we couldn't find any property under their names despite the anagrams. Is there some clue you can give to help us?"

Hotch scrunched his face as he thought about his friend's request. Finally, he exhaled through his nose and folded his arms. "Think of Brandon and Shane Cooper when you think of me, Dave, if you want to save me before it's too late.' Hotch exhaled deeply and hung his head. "I'm sorry you and the others had to see that video of me. I can only imagine what you must think of me; the shame, the disgust, the loathing…."

"Is that what you believe we'd think of you?" Rossi asked with a stunned look on his face.

"Isn't it?" Hotch asked calmly eying his best friend. His face was unreadable however.

"No. Nothing could be further from the truth. Aaron, every member of your team has nothing but total sympathy for what's happening to you. We all want you back in charge of this team and as Unit Chief. If anything, we have even more respect for you now than before."

Hotch's image began to fade before Rossi's eyes. "I have to go now, Dave. Just remember, think of Shane and Brandon Cooper." Hotch vanished from sight.

Rossi's head suddenly shot up as he looked around. "Hotch?" he called out as his eyes scanned the empty office. Quickly getting to his feet, he hurried to the door and opened it looking out into the bullpen area where he saw Emily Prentiss sitting at her desk trying to stay busy. "Emily."

Prentiss, hearing her name, looked up and saw Rossi staring at her from the doorway of Hotch's office. She waited as he stepped out of the doorway and approached the railing of the upper level, and leaning forward on it, looked down at her. "Where's Morgan and Reid?"

"I think Morgan's in the conference room," she replied. "And Reid's helping Garcia try to locate an address where Armitage might have taken Hotch. Why?" she noticed the strange look on the older agent's face. "What's happened?"

"Get Morgan and JJ and the three of you come to Hotch's office right away. I think I might have an idea where Hotch is being held. Now go."

"What about Reid?" she asked. She saw Rossi shake his head.

"He needs to work with Garcia right now. Just get Morgan and JJ."

"Okay," Prentiss said getting to her feet but at the same time a security guard entered in front of a young woman with a shoulder bag on one arm, her brown hair tied back in a ponytail. She looked around nervously.

"Agent Rossi," the man said. He saw both Rossi and Prentiss look around at the woman.

"Can I help you?" asked Rossi, puzzled.

"Agent Rossi, this is Miss Marcy Copland. She's a waitress in a diner in Alexandria. She says she saw the Bureau's press conference and believes she spoke with the man you're looking for."

Both Rossi and Prentiss froze and exchanged looks. Then, Rossi repeated his order for Prentiss to get Morgan and JJ as he smiled at the young woman and then motioned for the woman to head into Hotchner's office.

Hotch awoke with a start with the feeling somebody was staring at him. As he was unable to turn his head, he let his eyes shift around the room and barely noticed Jason Armitage sitting in a chair watching him with his legs crossed and arms folded. Then his eyes fell on something shiny partially hidden by one arm. He swallowed hard as he wondered if he was dreaming again or if this was now the real thing.

Armitage sensed the fear in his captive and smirked. "Something wrong, Aaron?" he asked having an idea what it was.

"Why are you here?" Hotch asked, his mouth suddenly dry, and because of the Heretics Fork, talking was difficult. "And why do you have that with you as if I have to ask."

"You mean this?" Armitage asked holding up the meat cleaver for Hotch to see. He shrugged indifferently. "I don't really know. Why do you think I brought it with me, Aaron? I'd be interested in what you think."

Hotch licked his lips. "Only thing I can think of is your intention of subjecting me to the ultimate humiliation by castrating me and then watching me go into shock and bleed to death."

Armitage chuckled. "Very good, Aaron. That certainly would be the ultimate humiliation my making you less of a man by removing your penis and testicles. I have to admit I like the idea. But sadly no. See, as tempting as that idea is to me, if I did that, you probably would go into shock and die from blood loss."

"Then why…?"

"I just thought it would not only frighten you after the humiliation of what took place in the video, but it might come in handy when I speak with your team about what they thought of their Unit Chief's performance in it."

"Then this isn't a dream I'm having?"

"No. Believe me, you are quite awake. Of course, if you think you're dreaming, I can always remove something and prove that you're awake."

"No thanks. I'll take your word for it."

"Too bad. I so much wanted to…oh well, perhaps later maybe." Getting up from his chair, Armitage carefully removed the Heretics Fork and laid it on the night table beside the bed. He watched Hotch stretch his neck now able to move his head without the torture device digging into his chin and upper chest areas. He stiffened as his captor examined both areas. "Hmmm. The bleeding should stop soon as it's not too much anyway. You'll live. But now…." He sat down on the bed and after laying down the knife beside him, reached into his pocket and removed a disposable cell along with a slip of paper on which was a list of names and phone numbers. "I've spoken with Agent Rossi at least twice now, Aaron. Wonder who I should call now." Looking at the names on the list, Armitage smiled as he selected a name and pressed the buttons as he dialed the phone number.