Chapter 23-Repercussions

The first time Hotch realized he was alive was when he tried to take in a breathe and found his breathing though still difficult didn't hurt like it did before. It was now an ache. But how could that be? His eyelids began to flutter.

"I think he's beginning to wake up," somebody said; but just who the voice belonged to didn't register. Yet, Hotch thought it somehow sounded familiar. He felt something touch his uninjured shoulder. "Hotch? Can you hear me? You have to open your eyes. You can do it. C'mon, man."

His entire body hurt. He moaned as he struggled to open his eyes which refused to listen to his brain. He began to cough again which made his chest ache. As he tried moving a hand to his face, he felt he couldn't. He was just too exhausted.

"Aaron, honey. Please open your eyes and look at me. Please." This time it was a feminine voice that spoke.

Hotch swallowed and ran a tongue over his lips. Hearing the voice conjured up the image of his wife in his mind for some reason he couldn't fathom. "Haley…." he murmured moving his head from side to side trying to make his body obey his brain. His eyes struggled to open.

"Yes, sweetheart, it's me. Haley," the female voice seemed excited now. "Please open your eyes and look at me. Your whole team is here…well, all except Garcia and JJ, but they're on their way. They'll be here soon."

His entire team is here? Haley is here? Hotch thought to himself as he coughed again. Did Armitage go after them too? Or am I in heaven with them? Then, with whatever strength he could muster in his weakened state, Hotch opened his eyes and waited until the fogginess cleared and the images came into focus. "Haley?" he asked with a hoarse voice. "Wha…what are you doing here?" he looked around and saw a white, sterile-looking room and frowned. His eyes took in the wires and machines he was hooked up to and became momentarily confused. "Wait…where…is here?" Before anybody could respond, Haley leaned over and pressed her lips onto those of her husband and kissed him passionately. Then, with tears in her eyes, Haley straightened and held her husband's hand in one of hers while with the other, she stroked his dark hair lovingly.

Feeling somebody still gripping his good shoulder he looked over and saw Rossi's smiling face. "You're in a hospital, Aaron," he said. "Morgan and I got you out of that burning structure shortly before the entire place was engulfed in flames." He looked over at Morgan who stood at the foot of the bed with a smiling Prentiss and Reid beside him.

Hotch slowly turned his head in the direction of Morgan, and managed a weak smile. "Thank…you," was all he could utter. To Hotch a simple 'thank you' seemed so inadequate, but his eyes were bright and said everything that he couldn't verbalize. He saw Morgan smile widely.

"You're welcome, man," was all the black agent needed to say. To him, Hotch didn't need to say anything else.

Hotch's eyes fell on Prentiss and Reid. "Thank…you…" he managed.

Reid, hands stuffed in his pants pockets, took a few steps until he stood close to the head of the bed on the opposite side. Hotch looked at him. He saw Reid swallow nervously. "Reid….I…." But the young agent held up a hand and shushed his boss.

"Don't thank me. I'm just so glad we got to you in time." He struggled to keep his emotions in check not wanting to cry in front of his boss. "Hotch, we couldn't lose you. I couldn't lose you. You're important to all of us. We weren't going to lose you without a fight."

Seeing his youngest agent about to 'lose it,' Hotch smiled and nodded at him knowingly. Reid blinked away his tears and with a smile on his face, walked back to where Morgan and Emily stood. Hotch then looked between Rossi and Haley again.

"How long…here…?" he asked.

"In the hospital?" asked Rossi, puzzled. He saw Hotch nod. "You've been here about a week so far. You were moved to a regular room after three days in ICU because of the infection from a cut to your face and shoulder, plus they weren't sure of the damage from smoke inhalation."

"How…am…I?" Hotch then asked.

"It was touch and go in the ambulance," Rossi explained guardedly. He didn't want to overwhelm his friend with too many facts until he was stronger. But he also knew his friend wouldn't let the subject drop. "We lost you twice in the ambulance on the way here, but the EMTs performed CPR and were able to bring you back both times. They started an IV and put you on oxygen right away. You inhaled a lot of smoke before we got you out of there."

Hotch swallowed slowly; his throat hurt. "Armitage…."

Rossi patted his friend's shoulder knowing the question would come up and still didn't know how he would or even if he would answer it. Fortunately, he didn't have to. It was then the doctor walked into the room. He smiled warmly at the small group and Haley before focusing on the man in the bed.

"Agent Hotchner, it's good to see you've rejoined us. You had us quite worried all things considered. By the way, I'm Doctor Blandon." He looked around at the others. "I request all of you to leave now while I examine Agent Hotchner. You can come back in after I'm finished."

Reluctantly, everybody filed out of the room promising they would wait in the corridor.

After they had left, Dr. Blandon smiled at Hotch. "I need you to breath for me, Agent Hotchner…."

In the corridor outside Hotch's room, Rossi, followed by the other three, took Haley's elbow and guided her a short way down the hall so they could talk.

"Haley, when the doctor says we can go back inside, I think you should go back in alone and visit with him."

Haley's brown eyes appeared puzzled. "But why? Dave, he's going to ask why you and the others left. What am I suppose to tell him?"

"Tell him we got a call from Chief Strauss summoning us back to the office and had to leave," Morgan explained. "But that we'll be back later to see him. Hopefully we'll have heard from the medical examiner before then."

Haley's eyes darted back and forth between the four agents. "There's something you're not telling me," she said, concerned. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Rossi and Morgan eyed each other warily. "You'd better tell her, man," Morgan suggested.

Rossi nodded then exhaled deeply. "We don't want you to become concerned or alarmed in any way; but there's a possibility Jason Armitage escaped from the burning house and got away. We don't want Aaron to know in his weakened condition, but you have a right to know. All we ask is that you don't tell him; not right now anyway. We'll tell him when he's stronger."

"Besides," Morgan added. "It might not be necessary. A body was found in the house but was burned beyond recognition to know for sure whether it belongs to Armitage. We have to wait for the medical examiner to get back to us. We had a rush put on it so it shouldn't be much longer before we know for sure."

Rossi gripped both of Haley's shoulders and turning her towards him, looked her directly in the eyes. "Please. Don't mention it to Hotch. You know him. He'll start to worry and in his condition that won't do him any good. It could cause problems with his recovery. Can you do it?"

Haley let out a deep breath as she covered her mouth with her fingertips; her eyes glistening. "I can do it," she said shakily. "Just promise me if he's still out there you'll catch him before he comes after Aaron again."

"I promise you, Haley," Rossi said. "No harm will come to Aaron. You have our word on that." He looked up when they saw Doctor Blandon emerging from Hotch's room. Haley quickly pulled herself together knowing she would shortly be returning to her husband's side.

"How is he?" asked Rossi, worried. The others gathered close around him.

Blandon exhaled and folded his arms. "Overall, I'm pleased with his rate of recovery. As you are aware, Agent Hotchner's injuries were numerous and most are healing quite nicely. We also had to perform surgery to repair his rectum which was torn from the sexual assault. His breathing is improving although his lungs are still somewhat congested so we'll be keeping him on the oxygen until the wheezing is completely gone. We'll also continue him on fluids and antibiotics as well as medicine for pain and possible swelling."

"I sense a but…" Rossi interjected with narrowed eyes.

"There is," Blandon replied. "As you all know, Agent Hotchner had begun developing an infection in one cut to his face and the stab wound to his left shoulder. Now the infection is responding nicely to the antibiotics and the cuts to his face and neck are healing as well."

"Let's have it, doc," Morgan urged, sensing they were about to get some awful news. "What is it? Hotch will recover, won't he?"

"Yes he will, Agent Morgan. Although the cuts to his abdomen and stab wound to his shoulder will heal nicely with no problem, I'm concerned about the cuts to his face and neck."

"They'll heal as well won't they?" asked Prentiss, worried where the doctor's explanation of Hotch's injuries was heading.

"Yes, they'll heal. But there will be scars once they do; especially those to his face and throat. At this point it's too soon to determine if we can even fix them with surgery."

"Oh God!" Haley cried as she buried her face in her hands and shook her head. Looking up again she eyed the doctor. "You mean Aaron could be permanently scarred?"

Blandon sighed. "It's possible. It's just too soon to tell. But even if we are able to fix his face and throat, it won't be for at least six weeks before anything can be done surgically. The injuries must be thoroughly healed first."

"Does he know?" asked a shaken Rossi.

"Not yet. I didn't think he should be told in his weakened condition. When he's a bit stronger I will tell him what he can expect, and whether or not we can do anything about it." Smiling faintly, Blandon put a hand on Haley's shoulder. "Think positive, Mrs. Hotchner. Your husband is a strong young man to have endured what he did and still be alive. Shows he has a strong will. In fact….despite the scars on his face and throat, if he keeps improving as he is, he could go home in two or three days."

"Really? That's good isn't it?" Haley asked. Then, she suddenly paused as she realized the implications of what Doctor Blandon was saying. "He's going to want to see Jack as soon as he gets home."

Blandon's eyes narrowed. "Is there a problem, Mrs. Hotchner?"

"Our son Jack; he's only five. How's he going to react seeing his father's face cut up like it is? I mean, it was hard enough for me to see Aaron's face like that. But to a five-year-old…."

Blandon folded his arms. "He might be frightened seeing the scars because of his age. But from what you've told me about the relationship between your husband and son, I believe if you sit him down and explain things to him about his father's injuries, he might end up being more scared for his daddy than of his daddy."

Haley looked at Rossi and Morgan for their opinions.

"I think despite his age, Jack just might surprise you," Rossi said. "After all, he's a smart little boy."

Haley looked at the doctor again and exhaled. "I'll think about what you told me," she said softly. "Can we see Aaron now?" Haley asked, her mind still whirling around trying to absorb everything.

"Of course. Go right in. I'll be checking on Agent Hotchner later. And try not to worry." Smiling grimly, Blandon glanced at the small group before turning and walking away.

Now alone with the four agents, Haley ran her hands over her head. "Jack's going to want to see his daddy once he finds out he's in the hospital," she said wearily. "I suppose I could explain to him about Aaron's face as Dr. Blandon suggests. But I really don't want to frighten Jack. If he sees Aaron and he does become frightened, Aaron's going to hate himself, and I don't want that. Maybe I should just send Jack to stay with my sister for awhile."

Morgan's face was unreadable. "Haley, you sure you want to do that? I mean, Dr. Blandon said it could be six weeks before he can surgically repair Hotch's face and that's if he can. You prepared to send Jack to your sister's for six weeks?"

Rossi forced a smile to his face as he looked at the woman. "Why don't you explain things to Jack and see how he feels about seeing his father with his injuries. I really think you're underestimating your little boy. He loves his father very much. I don't think a few scars on his face will change that. But right now, you'd better get back in there with your husband before he finds a way to leave his bed and look for you."

"Thank you, Dave. All of you. Thank you for bringing Aaron back to Jack and I alive." She turned and headed back in the direction of her husband's room while the agents stood by and watched her. Reid, his eyes bright with unshed tears looked at Prentiss as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Then, the two of them looked at Morgan and Rossi who both looked stricken.

"I'm telling you right now, Rossi," Morgan mumbled. "That body found in that house better be Armitage because if it isn't, and I get my hands on him, I'm gonna mess up his face just like he did Hotch's."

"I hear you," Rossi added quietly.

"So what are we going to do if Hotch is scarred permanently?" asked Reid quietly with hands shoved in his pockets. "He always took pride in his looks and to have that ripped from him by Armitage with everything else he's done to him is going to destroy him."

"Reid's right," Prentiss admitted. "Right now all we can do is wait and see. But if it turns out the scars are permanent, we're going to do what we always do….we're going to watch his back and let him know his appearance doesn't matter to us. How he looks has nothing to do with him being able to do his job."

"Morgan! Rossi!" a voice shouted from down the hall.

Turning, the agents spotted Garcia and JJ running towards them.

"Thank God you both got here before we left," Prentiss said. "Haley's in with Hotch."

"How's the boss-man?" asked Garcia. "Is he awake yet?"

"He woke up a short while ago," Reid explained. He's still a bit out of it, but he's able to understand and talk. But his voice is a bit hoarse.

"Is he all right?" JJ asked her bright blue eyes darting everywhere. "I mean, will he be all right?"

Rossi groaned and took JJ's arm. "Perhaps you and Garcia should have a seat while we discuss a few things about Hotch."

"We don't want to sit down," JJ replied jerking her arm out of Rossi's hand. "Dave, you're scaring us. What's wrong? Is Hotch going to be all right or isn't he?" she asked.

"You'd better explain yourself, boss," Garcia interjected, annoyed. "Because if you don't you're going to need a doctor because I'm going to hurt you."

With that Rossi exhaled and repeated everything the doctor told them. Both women winced at the possibility that the injuries to their boss's face and throat might be permanent, causing Garcia to lose it completely while JJ, her eyes brimming with tears, put her fingertips to her lips. They both recalled cringing at the sight of the cuts marring their boss's handsome face when they first saw them after he'd been brought to the hospital. The mere thought they might become permanent had never entered their minds, until now.

"Oh no!" Garcia sobbed. "No! Not Hotch. No." She felt a pair of arms embrace her and seeing it was Morgan, buried her face in his chest and cried. "Not Hotch! Not him!" her words, though still understandable, were muffled.

Rossi, Prentiss and Reid gathered around the media liaison as she looked to be going into shock. Reid put a hand on her arm.

"JJ?" he asked nervously. "It's going to be all right. Hotch will be all right." He barely had a chance to react when JJ wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head on his shoulder. He immediately hugged her with one arm and with the other, stroked the back of her head as her soft sobs could be heard. "It's gonna be okay," he murmured into her ear in a low voice. "I promise you."

JJ raised her head to look at him with wet, red eyes. "You promise? Hotch will be all right? I mean really all right?"

Reid smiled as best he could. "I promise. Have I ever lied to you before?"

"No. It's just that…."

"It's just nothing," Reid pushed a strand of JJ's hair behind her ear. "Hotch will be fine. And whatever happens with the cuts to his face and neck, we're going to be there for him and help him just like we always do."

JJ allowed herself a faint smile at Reid's words. She wiped at her eyes as she regained her composure.

"Morgan," Garcia looked up into the black agent's face. "Does Hotch know?"

"Not yet," Morgan said looking into her eyes. "The doctor doesn't think he can handle the news right now. He also doesn't know whether Armitage is alive or not. The four of us…Reid, Rossi, Emily and I all decided Hotch isn't strong enough to know his kidnapper may still be out there. We told Haley to let Hotch think we had to return to the office because of Strauss because he started asking Rossi about him. She agreed to keep it quiet as well."

Composing herself, Garcia removed her glasses and wiped her eyes before putting them back on again. She let out a deep breath. "My poor liege," she said. "I'm going to give him all the TLC he can handle and then some."

"And I have to make sure he understands that even if those scars on his face and neck are permanent, to me he's still the man he was," added JJ. She looked at Rossi. "I know you said Haley was with him right now, but do you think she'd mind if we said hello?"

Rossi smiled. "I don't think either of them would mind."

Smiling, JJ motioned with her head towards Penelope and the two women walked the short distance down the hall to their boss's room and looked in. They spotted Hotch and Haley with their heads close, and Haley's forehead pressed against the side of her husband's head. It was Hotch who noticed them standing in the doorway.

"I think… we…have company…" he said.

Haley lifted her head and with a smile, looked at the women. "Come on in and say hi," she said beckoning the two women into the room. As they entered, she kissed the top of her husband's head and stood up. She gave a last look at her husband. "Aaron, I have to go now. But I promise to return later this evening and visit again." She waved goodbye to him before walking out the door. The minute she was gone, Garcia hurried forward and gently hugged her boss and friend. She kissed the top of his head.

"I'm so sorry, sir," she cried burying her head on his good shoulder. Hotch used his good hand to pat the tech analyst's back.

"Sorry….about…what?" he asked.

"Everything," Garcia said lifting her head to look into his deep-set brown eyes. She inwardly cringed at the scars on his face and neck but made sure to hide her reaction from him. "How do you feel, sir? And don't lie to me because I'll know it and there'll be hell to pay."

With the corners of his mouth turning upward, Hotch tried to laugh but ended up turning away as a coughing attack took over. Once it had subsided, he turned back to look at her and saw the fear and worry in her eyes. "I…don't hurt…as much….chest still….aches…from smoke."

Penelope swallowed hard. "Sir, I…."

Hotch put a finger on her lips. "Don't…apolo…gize. Will be…all right. Seeing….your…beau…tiful face…makes me…feel bet…ter."

Blushing, Garcia stood up and with a smile as big as day, she waved a hand at Hotch. "Flattery will get you everywhere, my liege. Sir, if you think you will escape the pampering of the all-powerful Goddess of Technical Wonder, you are sadly mistaken. So there." She smiled again when she saw her boss return her smile.

"Looking…for…ward…to it." His eyes shifted until they fell on his media liaison. "JJ."

The blond slowly approached the bed and after Garcia had stepped out of the way, occupied the spot her friend had just vacated. She leaned over and kissed the top of Hotch's head as well before taking one of his hands in hers and squeezing. "I am so glad you're alive," she said smiling despite her tears.

"JJ…so sorry…about….what I…said…." But he was shushed by the blond woman.

"Don't you dare apologize. I wanted you to say what you did to keep him from hurting you," JJ wiped her cheeks with one hand while holding Hotch's hand in the other. "If I had to make you say those things to me again I'd do it in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you from being hurt. Don't you ever apologize again for it. Okay?"

"For…now…" Hotch said. "Wait until….get out of….hospital."

JJ chuckled. "Don't think you can apologize then either, Hotch. I'm not embarrassed by it, so neither should you be. And I'm going to keep telling you that until you realize it." As she looked into her friend's face, JJ inwardly cried looking at the scars and knew not only would Hotch have a fight on his hands if they were permanent, but she and the others would be right there with him to help him through it however they could.

"We're going to leave now so you can get some rest, Hotch," JJ said. "But I promise you we'll be back to see you again soon." She started to release Hotch's hand but he gripped hers tightly stopping her.

"JJ….before….you go….tell me something."

"If I can. What is it?"

"I saw….the cuts…on….my face. How bad?"

JJ shook her head. "Hotch….."

"How….bad?" His voice and face seemed to be almost pleading.

JJ and Garcia exchanged concerned looks. From Hotch's question they knew if he had seen the cuts to his face he already knew how bad they looked. What he was looking for was how bad they looked to another person; especially to a woman.

"Hotch…." JJ put a hand on top of Hotch's and smiled affectionately. "I won't lie to you. They are bad. But they're still healing, and in time, they will be just a bad memory. But to us, you'll always be the same handsome, charming Unit Chief we know and love. Nothing will ever change that. Now get some rest."