Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Sequal/Series: Okay, okay, so when does a series turn into a story with a lot of chapters? Probably about the time I wrote the second or third 'series' of this story. lol
Feedback: Love it.
Beta: So much thanks to Ellex, an excellent beta and who helped to polish this piece when I wanted to scrap it. All further mistakes are mine.
Summary: A lesson of hope.
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She'd watched the proceedings with growing concern and the inability to do anything to change what was going to happen. As certain as watching an oncoming wreck that couldn't be stopped, she knew this wouldn't end well for anyone. Her numerous attempts at trying to talk to Rodney had fallen on deaf ears and left her with an emotional wound that ran deep and painful.
Elizabeth had known Rodney a long time and had seen how he'd kept himself closed off to everyone prior to their arrival to Atlantis. From what little she learned about him during their friendship, she had gleaned the impression of an unhappy childhood and failed relationships in his past, leaving him with only his work to turn to for comfort and satisfaction. Being sent to Siberia had been a blow to his ego and even the prospect of joining the expedition to Atlantis, however desirable, had done little to soften his defensive personality. People were merely tools, a means to an end, objects to be pushed away so they couldn't become important to him, so it wouldn't hurt when they showed their true colors and left. It hadn't surprised her, then, how he acted after losing all memories of Pegasus.
Atlantis had unquestionably changed Rodney and Elizabeth found it ironic that Rodney couldn't see how deeply he had, completely unintentionally, made his way into the hearts of those around him.
The entire expedition had been affected when they thought they'd lost him. Atlantis had been quiet during that time, much too quiet. Everyone had seemed to feel defeated, especially his team, and especially Col. John Sheppard. The elation at the news of having found Rodney alive was short lived. The memory loss had taken Rodney back to a time when harsh words biting criticism and vicious attitudes were the norm, and the harder his team tried to connect to him, the nastier Rodney's attacks against them became. Out of all the people on the expedition, Ronon seemed the one person to withstand the bombardment of Rodney's outbursts the best.
For the first time since Elizabeth had met her, Teyla had broken down and cried. The Athosian confessed to her glaring oversight with Rodney but all of her attempts at rectifying that mistake with the scientist had been met with disgusted indifference and cruel insults time and time again.
Now Elizabeth sat in her office, gazing at the letter in her hand. It was John's resignation letter, stating 'personal reasons' as his excuse for leaving. Elizabeth had no doubt this was directly related to the change in Rodney. John had been fighting his own demons regarding what had happened, how they had disregarded Rodney's warnings. They'd had their differences, minor ups and downs in their friendship, but after finding John in Rodney's room several times after they thought Rodney had died, Elizabeth wondered if John had come to realize the depth of their bond.
This had gone on too long. She had to try again, for the sake of the team, for the sake of the city, for her own damn sanity.
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It was nearly 3am Atlantis time when Elizabeth caught up with Rodney. The jumper bay was empty at that hour. She hung back for a moment, watching him as he ran steady, sure fingers over the hull of the jumper, as if memorizing the craft by touch. It was oddly affectionate, and seeing it made Elizabeth's chest tighten. Rodney, for all of his vocal bluster and complaining, rarely showed this kind of open vulnerability. There was plenty of pain, mixed with regret and longing; easy to read in those turbulent eyes and that expressive face. He kept so much locked away, tender emotions he protected with a ferocity that drove away everyone around him. That necessary viciousness had been at its worst when he'd come back from Siberia. With time and the adventures and companionship found in Pegasus, he had begun to open up and trust others, if just a little.
Unfortunately for Rodney, the people he chose to open up to were all too human, with human fallacies and short-sightedness. Mistakes had been made and misperceptions developed, and were left unchallenged despite the obvious signs of their existence.
Rodney had taken those failings to mean they didn't care, that he was just another tool to be used and discarded as each situation demanded. He believed he was only as useful as his intelligence and what he could do for others.
He'd never learned that, despite their best intentions, sometimes friends did stupid, hurtful things without meaning to.
As she watched, Rodney paused near the front of the jumper, fingers tracing the lettering on the side. Smiling at the memory, Elizabeth recalled the banter as Rodney and John argued for days about the name for the jumper. In the end, John had won the debate and settled on calling it simply Jumper One; John's favorite and most often used jumper.
Rodney had to create a special paint that would adhere to the jumper's hull and she recalled clearly that an awful lot of paint had ended up on the team for such a small project, paint that took weeks to completely fade from their skin.
A cold jolt of realization shot through Elizabeth as her eyes flew up to Rodney's sorrow-filled face.
He remembered.
Fighting back the sting in her eyes, her body tingling with a hope she hadn't felt in far too long, she stepped forward. Perhaps it wasn't too late, perhaps forgiveness wasn't an impossibility; perhaps the fractures that were forming throughout her family could be healed.
When Rodney noticed her, he snatched his hand away from the jumper, his posture immediately going stiff and his expression guarded. "Dr. Weir, what do you want?"
I want my friend back, Elizabeth thought to herself, yet at the same time was ashamed that he believed she only wanted him for his abilities. Had she ever told him how glad she was to count him as a friend?
Without a word, she handed him the datapad and watched his face as he read John's resignation letter. Shock was quickly replaced by anger as his fingers curled around the device in a crushing grip.
"Why?" His voice broke, loud in the quiet of the bay.
Elizabeth knew Rodney wanted to know the real reason for John's resignation and didn't pretend not to understand.
"John lost someone he was close to, someone who was important to him." When Rodney looked up, shocked, she held his gaze firmly. "He lost his best friend and the thought that he'll never get him back is more than he can bear."
"I don't believe you." Disbelief was reflected in his eyes, but behind that Elizabeth saw a frail spark of hope.
So she told him a story about a colonel and a scientist; a poignant and heart wrenching story; about how the scientist had been lost and presumed dead - and how the colonel's world fell apart.
--tbc