*So I owe you all one hell of an apology for the freakishly long wait. I just got a new job at the wonderful BK (trust me don't work there if you can help it!) my flash drive likes to go on long vacations without my permission and well… I guess I should keep a back up. Anyway I am so sorry if I ever go too long without an update again feel free to send me a pm to get my ass in gear. *
*Alas I do not own Naruto or any of its registered trademarks… if I did well you should know what would be going on .*
Chapter Nine
~Previously on Je T'aime Toujours: I was cut off as the rusted metal bar Hidan was standing crumbled and he let out an ear splitting scream.~
I sat staring at my fucking head doctor as she went on and on about how my dad's fucking death wasn't my fault. We've been through this shit once a Jashin damned week for the past five months. She tries and tries to get in my head and I just stare at her until she gets up and opens the fucking door signaling that I can leave. The first couple times I flipped some serious fucking shit, I yelled, swore, and threw shit at her telling her that she knows nothing about me and has no right to tell me what my problems are.
Now she was going on about how it's not my fault that Kakuzu nearly died that same night. I can't help the sarcastic grin that spreads across my face whenever she brings this up. I may not be directly responsible for my dad's death but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was my fault that Kakuzu slipped off the coaster trying to save my ass. We both ended up falling to the ground; the only difference is that I got off with a jank shoulder for the rest of my life and Kakuzu died four times on the operating table. I swear to Jashin that fucker has to have like five fucking hearts or something.
"And now she's trying to tell me that my new hatred of hospitals and medical people is irrational. This dumb cunt can kiss my ass. Hospitals are useless they say they can save everyone but they couldn't save my dad. And doctors and nurses are nothing but fucked up sadists that enjoy causing pain to their patients and families. Don't get me wrong I fucking love pain but not when from people that are supposed to be preventing that shit.
"You can go now Hidan."
I blink a couple times and the grin leaves my face, "See you next week."
"Didn't your mother tell you? We talked it over and decided that it would be best if you went back to school, it's been five months and you've made little to no progress."
"School? I can't go back to fucking school! You just said I didn't make any fucking progress!" I snapped panicking. "I haven't talked to any of my friends since that fucking incident! What if they hate me?"
"Normally I wouldn't do this but I cannot help someone who chooses not to accept it."
"I'll try harder, I won't shut down the second I walk through the fucking door! I'll do whatever you want me to do, just please don't make me go!" I begged.
"I'm sorry Hidan but I've already given your mother a full refund and I have patients waiting."
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"Mom I can't fucking do this, they're gonna hate me! I almost got Kakuzu killed for the love of Jashin!" I tried begging as my oh so wonderful mom pulled into the school parking lot.
"They don't hate you Hidan they're your friends."
"Please, please don't make me do this."
"I'm sorry Hidan but this is for the best." She sighed refusing to look at me. "I know this has been hard on you but you need to keep living your life."
"I'll just bail as soon as you drive away and do something stupid."
"No you wont because I've called all of your teachers and told them to call if you're late, miss a class or leave early… and if you are or do I will kick you out of the house and you can live on the fucking streets."
"Fuck you!" I screamed getting out of the beat up scout and slamming the door shut. "I fucking hate you!"
"I'll see you when I get home… and be good!" she called ass she peeled out of the parking lot.
Glaring at the disappearing car I tried to remember what I had first period… English I think…. Hopefully Mr. Tatakichi was out.
"Oi Hidan is that you over there? I hope you're not planning on skipping English!"
Unfortunately life tends to hate me. "Hey Mr. T."
"I hope you read all those books I gave you while you were gone because you'll be staying after to take a test on them and that grade will be half your grade for this marking period."
Great, just fucking great. "Yeah I read them." Whether or not I remember shit about them is another thing.
"Good," I exclaimed steering me towards the class. "Now we're both late but don't worry, I won't tell your darling mother. How is she by the way? You know I used to have the biggest crush on her back in high school but alas your father got to her first. But don't worry because that's all in the past. Though I do have to admit she hasn't aged a day, still just as beautiful as she was at prom. Her long white hair fanning out as she danced with your father in her pink dress, which I might add was the same color as her gorgeous-"
"Umm I'm gonna go sit down now." I muttered practically running to the back of the room. Normally I like Mr. T, but when he on days like this it's just fucking awkward.
I waited for him to start his lecture before letting my head drop to my desk with a soft thud. Today was gonna be one long ass fucking day.
About half way through the class a piece of paper bounced off my head and onto my desk, grumbling to I opened it up and found I note scribbled on it from Kakuzu.
You finally decided to come to school on your own or did your mom make your mind up for you?
Kakuzu
Shit I forgot he was in my English class. Shoving the note in my pocket I pulled out my phone and sent him a text,
-YOU DON'T HATE ME? YES MY LOVEABLE MOTHER FUCKING FORCED MY ASS TO COME AND WHOU IN FUCKING HELL PASSES NOTES ANYMORE?-
-Hidan
I glanced up and spotted Kakuzu in the front of the room just as he opened his phone, moments later mine vibrated.
-FOR ONE, NOTES ARE LESS OBVIOUS. AND WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE MAD AT YOU? IT WAS MY FAULT FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS DOING-
-Kuzu
A huge ass grin broke across my face, if he didn't hate me then neither did anyone else... but the fucker could've told me that earlier!
-YOU ASS YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T HATE ME! EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU ASSHOLE!-
-Hidan
"Hidan I hope that isn't a phone out, "Mr. Tatakichi warned without looking away from the board. "Because that would be stupid… even for you."
"And what if it was ass munch?" I demanded.
"Well if it was I would have to write you up for it."
"And if I just ripped that shit up?"
"You'd end up suspended," he paused and glanced back at me, "which would mean that you'd miss your classes and we don't want that to happen now do we?"
I glared at him before shoving my phone into my pocket. "Well guess it's a good fucking thing I don't have my phone out isn't it?"
"I guess so."
...Nom.
"Look at the bright side… you made it to lunch." Kakuzu pointed out as we made our way to the cafeteria. "Only four more classes to go."
"Shove it fuck face!"
"Oh my god Hidan's in school?"
I just barely managed to dodge Konan as she launched herself at me, "What the fuck bitch? You trying to fucking kill me?"
"Hidan-Sempai!" Long arms wrapped around my waist. "Tobi missed Hidan-Sempai but Tobi knew he would be back! Tobi told everyone that you wouldn't abandon us!"
I felt a muscle twitch in my forehead as I tried to pry the masked freshman off of me, "Tobi get the fucking hell off of me or I'm gonna sacrifice your scrawny ass to Jashin-Samma!"
"Oh come on Hidan he missed you, we all did," Konan sighed slinging an arm around my shoulders, "especially Kakuzu."
I glanced at said person who was glaring daggers at her with a pink tint across his cheeks. "Why the fuck would he miss me the most?"
"Ignore her she's just being a dumb bitch." He grumbled sitting with the others; others being Pain, Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu and Tobi.
"Where are Dei and the prick?"
"Probably making out in the bathroom." Kisame snorted
"What the fucking hell? B-but they're both guys! Straight guys!" I snapped, I think my eyes were bugging out of my fucking head.
"Oh yeah you weren't here for that whole awkward 'I love you and you love me but both of us are too stupid and scared to come out yet' part of the year." Konan sighed, "Well at least Kakuzu was easy, all I had to do was wave a few bucks in front of him and he sang like a canary."
"Who the hell says that any-"
"Whoa hold the fuck up! Kakuzu's a fucking queer?" I demanded staring at best friend in shock.
"I'm still here so please don't start talking like I'm not and get over it dipshit. Why the hell should it matter?" Kakuzu growled glaring daggers at Konan
"You're my best friend and didn't tell me so of course it's gonna fucking matter!" I screamed.
"I've tried to tell you but something always comes up-"
"What the fuck could have come up that was so important that you couldn't be like 'Hey Hidan by the way I suck dick'!"
"Well last time I tried to, your dumb ass fell off a damn roller coaster. So excuse me if I couldn't finish my sentence when I dived after you to save your retarded ass!"
"Would you two please keep it down people are beginning to stare." Itachi stated calmly fixing us with his creepy blank stare.
"I don't give a fuck! So why don't you just-"
"Hidan, un!" I flinched as Deidara latched onto my shoulders and yanked me into a bone-crunching hug.
"Thanks for telling me you're gay." I growled struggling to break free.
Dei let go of me and stared at his feet. "I'm sorry, un. I thought you would've figured it out, yeah. Everyone else did."
"…"
"Oh just ignore him; he's just pissed off that Kakuzu didn't tell hem he swung that way." Konan shot me a glare.
"So what if I am. I mean nobody fucking told me!"
"You what? I'm sorry that I didn't tell your whiney I'm gay! You stopped talking to everyone so there's no way in hell anyone could have told you! And I was worried you'd be an ass and react like this…" He trailed off and glared at me. "Guess I was right."
"Wait so Hidan's homophobic, yeah?
"Obviously brat."
"I ain't scared of no fags! It just would be nice if you fuckers told me before hand!"
"Well now you know so shut the hell up!" Konan yelled chucking someone's carton of milk at me.
"What the fuck ever," I stood up refusing to look at anyone, "I'm leaving."
"Where the hell do you think you're going? You have to go to all of your classes."
"Don't fucking worry about it."
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
"Fucking Kakuzu! Nobody fucking tells me anything!" I punched the closest tree. "Homophobic, tch I'm not fucking homophobic." Blood started running down my arm, "I can't fuck stand this shit!"
I punched the tree and kept at it until my hands were raw and the bark splintered. I couldn't stop the small smile that crept onto my face as I examined my knuckles. There was almost no skin on them and what skin that was there was badly bruised or covered in blood. The pain brought a refreshing calm over me. He, my fucking head doctor would have a fit if she could see me now.
"Hidan!"
I glanced up and the smile left my face as I spotted Kakuzu jogging over to me. "What the fuck do you want?"
"I was making sure your retarded ass didn't leave."
"Clearly my retarded ass is still here so please feel free go the fuck away."
"What the hell happened to your hands?"
I slid said appendages behind my back and turned my head away from him, "None of your fucking business."
"Hidan what the hell happened?" he repeated taking my hands in his.
I flinched, not sure if it was because it hurt like a mother fucker or because he was touching me. "Don't fucking worry about it."
"You need to go to the nurse to get them bandaged or something."
"NO FUCKING NURSE!"
"Then I'll have to look at 'em-"
"Fuck no! I don't want some fucking faggot touching me!" I screamed shocking myself.
I watched as his eyes hardened and he dropped my eyes. "Go to hell."
"Fuck I'm sorry I-" I started grabbing his arm, ignoring the pain that shot through my hand.
"No you're not, so don't bother." He growled shoving my back into the tree. "Are you incapable of thinking before letting your ignorance leave your mouth?"
"I didn't mean it." I muttered weakly as he turned and walked away.
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I sat in a random bathroom stall holding a razor blade against my wrist as blood seeped down my arm and dripped on the floor around me. Fucking Kakuzu, fuck 'im I sure as fuck don't need him around.
"Umm Hidan, un; are you in here?" Dei's voice came from the other side of the stall door.
I jumped a foot in the fucking air slicing my wrist deeper than I intended to, swearing to myself I nodded before realizing he couldn't see me. "Yeah."
"I'm soooooo sorry about not telling you I was gay or that I'm with Sasori, un! You're my best friend and I didn't want to lose you over this…. You don't hate me do you?"
"No I don't fucking hate you. I was just pissed in general… it's been a long day."
"What are you doing in a bathroom stall anyway? You're not doing anything stupid, yeah?"
I glanced at my wrists and the blade in my hand. "No."
"Well I came to find you because we have chemistry in two minutes."
Fuck. "Just go I'll be there on time." I mumbled yanking my tie from around my neck and using it as a bandage for my one hand and wrist.
~Chem. 2 minutes late.~
"Ahh Hidan you're just in time to tell us one of the formulas we use to calculate heat." The teacher stated blankly.
"Err…" I shot a quick glance at the board. "q=mCΛT?"
"Correct! Maybe the rest of you should be more like Hidan and study without coming up with excuses…." She continued as I took my seat next to Deidara.
"What happened to you're hand, un?" the blond questioned pointing at my right hand.
Damn it I forgot about that one. "Nothing."
"It's bleeding, yeah."
"Chicks bleed all the fucking time!"
"Are you saying you have a vat on your hand, yeah?
"Yes that's exactly what I'm saying dumb ass. I can't believe you didn't know that." I scoffed glaring at my desk.
"Hidan…"
"I punched a fucking tree alright?" I muttered making sure my other hand was out of view.
"Why the hell would you punch a tree?"
"I was fucking pissed and it was there…. Besides it isn't like it's the dumbest thing I've ever done."
"True; there was that one time where you stuck your tongue to the flagpole last winter."
"Because Kakuzu bet me ten dollars that I wouldn't do it!"
"Or that time you tried to sneak into Kakuzu's room at three in the morning and he called the police because he thought someone was trying to steal his money." Dei laughed.
"Hehe what about when I tried to pawn off half of Konan's jewelry and the guy ended up being a cop?"
"Or-"
"We're not gonna cover all my fuckups in one class so can we please stop because it ain't making me feel any better." I snapped. "Besides I think I really fucked up this time."
"What with the Kakuzu thing? The worst you could have done is call him a fag and tell him ya hate 'im, yeah…. And even you're not that bad." He paused to look at me. "You didn't did you?"
"He grabbed my hands to see the damage and I told him I didn't want some fag touching me."
"Oh well that's not good…" he trailed off when he saw the look on my face. "He'll get over it… eventually …. Maybe… hopeful-"
"Thank you Deidara I don't know what I would do without you and your wonderful fucking pep talks."
"Listen everyone's coming over to my house tonight to have a little fun. Konan told me not to say anything…" Dei paused, "but it wouldn't be a party without you, yeah. So bring something and beg for forgiveness."
"First off blondie I don't beg for shit and you know that." I gibed, "And second off what should I bring?"
"I don't know, un. Go through from your dad's liquor cabinets, yeah."
"So you want me to steal alcohol from my dead dad?"
"Well he sure as hell ain't gonna use it from beyond the grave; grab some of that pot he was prescribed too. Now, if you grovel and beg for mercy no-on will remember anything."
...Nom.
On my way to gym… as my fucking luck would have it, I ran into Kakuzu, who just shot me a quick glare and kept walking. Thinking about what Dei said I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. "Hey."
"Hn."
"I'm sorry. "
"I don't care."
"I didn't mean it I swear on Jashin-Samma."
He didn't say anything but I saw him glance at me for a second.
"Do we still have gym together?"
"Unfortunately."
"Cool."
"Listen you dumb ass, I'm still pissed!" Kakuzu snapped whipping around and shoving me up against the wall by my collar. "You severely lack the ability to think before you act, and I am so tired of it. Do you fucking understand?"
It was never a good thing when he started dropping f- bombs. "Yeah I fucking got it! I don't see what the big fucking deal is." I managed to choke out.
"You flipped shit when you found out I was gay."
"It caught me off guard."
"You said you didn't want some fucking faggot touching you."
"Still sinking in."
He casted me a side long glance before putting his hand out. "Let me see it."
"I know I said- oh right my hand... Hehe my bad."
I winced as he unwrapped my tie from around my hand and wrist. "I'll see if we can sit out today." He muttered narrowing his eyes at my wrist.
"Whatever."
When we got to gym one of the teachers immediately jumped down my throat. "DO you realize that you are failing this class? You might get special treatment from the other teachers, but-"
"Listen bitch my Jashin damned dad died! Ok? So excuse me if I was too mother fucking distraught to show up for school! And just so YOU fucking know didn't I didn't go to ANY of my fucking classes you stupid cunt. I didn't just skip yours." I barked cutting her off "And just so your retarded ass knows I ain't doin' shit today, so if you fucking need me I'll be in the fucking bleachers sitting with fuck-face!"
I stormed to the other side of the gymnasium leaving the stupid bitch with her mouth gaping.
~KuZu's POV:~
I followed Hidan to the bleachers slightly shocked, Normally he would just ignore her.
"It's not that bad is it?" He asked as I looked over his injuries.
"Your hands just need to be wrapped," I mumbled before glaring at him. "But these cuts are probably going to have to be sewn up."
"I'm not going to have to go to the doctor for that am I?"
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't make you? They'd lock you up in a rehabilitation center, maybe it'd stop you from mutilating yourself."
"I wasn't cutting myself!"
"Damn it Hidan how stupid do you think I am?" I demanded. "I can see the cuts on your wrists, I'm not blind!"
"It was an accident!, Dei scared the shit out of me and the razor slipped."
It's like talking to a four year old, "And where was the razor?"
"…On my wrist."
"And what were you going to do with said razor?"
"When Die scared the fuck outta me I had already fucking finished cutting myself! So I was going to put the fucking razor away!"
"So you were cutting yourself."
"So what if I was?"
I didn't say anything as I wrapped his hands and wrist with gauze. If I opened my mouth I would have killed the bridge we just gapped.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you fucking worry." He muttered, "and I'm really sorry about being a huge fucking asshole earlier."
"You don't need to apologize, dumb ass… but if you want me to I can sew you up later."
There was an awkward silence as we watched our classmates run around in circles.
"So… do you have a boyfriend?" The Jashinist asked jabbing me in the side.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Is that a yes or a no fuck-face?"
"No."
"Have you had one?"
"No"
"Then how the fuck do you know that you're gay?" He demanded.
"I just do." I kept my voiced clipped, I really didn't want to talk about it but who was I to think he'd pick up on the hint?
"Bullshit!"
"Can you please drop it?"
"You like someone don't you?"
"Drop it or I'll drop you!"
"If you like someone then just tell them. Stop being such a pussy." He snorted.
"Damn it Hidan shut the hell up!"
"Kisame!" He blurted
"Wait what? No!"
"Itachi!"
"I'm not telling you anything."
"Sasori!"
"…"
"Deidara!"
"…"
"Pain!"
"Are you done yet?"
"Konan!"
"She's a girl."
"Oh yeah… uh me?"
"…" I didn't answer and I tried to hide my face as it lit up, but for once in his damn life Hidan decided to be observant.
"Holy fucking shit are you blushing? It's me? I was right?"
"Feels weird to have something right for once" grumbled trying to diffuse the situation but failing miserably.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! You fucking like me! Holy fucking fuck!" He panicked backing away from me.
"Hidan, please calm down. Just because you think I like you doesn't mean I do."
He stopped yelling and stared at me. "Do you?"
"… It doesn't mean anything is going to happen."
"Damn fucking straight nothing's going to fucking happen!"
"Are you quite done? Your spazzing is getting irritating."
"Kiss my ass… and I DON'T mean it like that!" The Jashinist snapped.
There was an awkward silence (a/n: every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born ^^) while neither of us said anything. Hidan of course was the first break it.
"Why me?"
"Drop it… please." I sighed refusing to look at him. It was bad enough he freaked out when; for once in his life; he figured what I've been trying to hide for Kami knows how long, but no he wouldn't be Hidan if he just left it alone.
"Why wont you fucking tell me? I think that I have a fucking right to know!"
"You don't have a damn right to anything in my personal life!"
"Even if it involves me?" He mumbled nudging me with his shoulder. "Come on Kuzu. I'd love to know what it is about me that enthralls you."
"Don't use big words that you can't spell… wouldn't want you to choke." I grumbled trying to ignore him as he ran a finger across my scarred cheek. "And what? Suddenly you're not bothered by this whole thing?"
"Tch well you said that this isn't going anywhere so what does it matter?"
I grabbed him by his wrist, grimacing slightly when he flinched, and shoved him away. "It matters because if you do shit like that something's going to happen and you're not going to like it!" I snarled.
"Oh I'm so fucking scared. What are you going to do? Hit me? Yell? Tch you're not-"
Hidan shut up immediately as I leaned in closer. "I have exercised and unbelievable amount of control for a very long time… if you continue to try my patience I can't say that I'll be able to control all of my desires."
Hidan visible swallowed and his eyes started darting around looking for an escape route. "I uh… you don't have to fucking tell me if you don't want to… just please back the fuck off a bit." He mumbled refusing to look at me.
"You still want me to take you home and patch you up before we go to Deidara's party?"
I sighed when he just nodded. This was going to be one long ass night.
*I realize there's a lot going on in this chapter so if anyone gets confused just ask me about it and I'll try and clear up as best as I can. Oh and if you haven't voted on my pole that's been up for like ever please go do that ^^
Evil-Peach*