Chapter 15

George watched sadly as Izzie slept. Her hair was splayed out under her and he hands were tucked neatly under head.

She was always beautiful. Always his best friend, and yet… it was so weird to think that he was rooting for the surgery that would take him away from Izzie.

He didn't want to lose her again. He didn't want her to lose him either.

He loved her… in a best friend sort of way, but he loved her.

George slowly stepped forwards and touched his finger to Izzie's arm. Her skin seemed so pale and sick looking.

When did it come to this? George wondered. What happened to the good old days? The intern days… what happened to those?

George touched Izzie's cheek and felt how warm she felt… he wished he could be warm again.

And alive.

And then he realized something. Izzie's skin was too warm.

"Alex!" he tried to scream. But of course he couldn't hear him. Only one person could. "Izzie! Wake up!"

Izzie's eyes snapped open and she looked at George with fear in her eyes. "George?" she murmured.

"Tell Alex you broke out into a fever!" George said.

"Alex!" Izzie yelled.

"Aw! Come on Lex! Just let me in!" Mark yelled once again from outside the door. "I said I'm sorry!"

Mark began to give up and he turned to walk away when the door slowly opened and Lexie stumbled outside in her drunken state.

"You were drinking," Mark said. "Again."

Lexie ignored him and crashed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Mark pulled her to him and pressed her up against the wall.

Lexie moved her hands to his waist and pulled him forwards towards her room where they stumbled inside.

Lexie kicked the door shut with her foot and the two were finally alone.

"What happened?" Alex demanded, running in.

"George says I have a fever," Izzie said.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Iz," he murmured. "George isn't real." He touched his fingers to Izzie's head and pulled them back quickly. "You do have a fever!"

Alex's eyes widened and he turned towards the door. "Page Shepherd!"

Cristina ran into the room. "What happened?" she demanded.

"She has a fever! Page Shepherd!"

Lexie awoke to the sound of her alarm going off. She moved her head slightly and felt a throbbing pain poke through her head.

"Ow," she groaned. "How much did I drink?"

She felt the bed shift next to her and she froze at the sound of a deep, throaty groan.

She gasped and turned over. The comforter fell off of her and she found her chest bare.

And then she saw him. "M-Mark?" she stuttered, reaching for the blanket and pulling it over her chest as quickly as she could.

"Mornin' Lex."

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" Lexie demanded.

"You don't remember?" Mark asked.

Lexie felt her stomach churn. "How much did I drink?" she threw her hand over her mouth.

"Quite a lot," Mark said.

Lexie jumped up and ran to the bathroom where she threw up from all of the alcohol she had forced down.

There was a warm hand on her sweaty bare back and she turned to look at a very naked Mark.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm sick. You don't need to see me like this."

"I don't mind," Mark said.

"Did you break up with Teddy?" Lexie asked. When Mark didn't answer she said, "Then get out."

"Well, I sort of didn't have time to break up with her when we were uh… busy last night."

Despite everything Lexie smiled slightly. "I'll see you at work," she said.

She flushed the toilet and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Lexie-

"I'll see you at work. And I'll think about taking you back if you go break up with Teddy."

"Okay," Mark said.

"Okay?"

"I'll do it."

"Your brain swelled, causing you to have a fever," Derek said. "It's a side effect from the tumor. But it's probably better that we get in there and do the surgery immediately."

"Now?" Izzie whispered. "Well how risky is it?"

"Very," Derek sighed. "But it gives you a better chance to live longer."

"How long would I have?" Izzie asked. "How long… without the surgery?"

Derek paused for a moment, taking just a second to take a breath before saying, "A little over a month."

Izzie pressed her lips together and her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Okay," she murmured. She looked over to Alex who hadn't said a word. He just stared out into nothing. "So be it."

Suddenly Alex snapped out of whatever he was in and he jerked his face over to stare at Izzie. "What?!" he gasped. "What do you mean by 'so be it'?"

"I mean… look, I'm done fighting, okay? Alex, I just want to live the rest of the time I have with you. And I just want to not be so stressed out. The surgery's risky. I could die today versus having a month left."

"Izzie, please! You have to-

"Shh," Izzie cut him off, holding a finger up to his lips. "Alex, it will be okay."

"Please Izzie! I am your husband. Please! You can't leave me! Not again."

Izzie felt her heart throb painfully in her chest. Alex looked at the ground and bit his lip, letting the tears fall freely. "Alex look at me!" Izzie told him. When he didn't she grabbed his face in between her hands and pulled it up roughly to face hers. "Alex," Izzie murmured. "I'm so sorry. But I have to do this. I have to live the rest of my life."

"How will you be living it in a hospital bed?" Alex asked.

Izzie looked away for a moment and noticed Cristina who was sitting in the corner of the room with her mouth hanging open and her eyes looking glassy.

"I'm not," Izzie finally answered. "Alex, will you take me home?"

"Izzie," Derek tried to argue. "You still have a chance with this surgery."

"No," Izzie said. "I want any time that I have left to live my life with you Alex.

"What?" a voice came from the door and Izzie looked up to find Meredith watching her. "You aren't having the surgery?"

"I'm sorry everyone," Izzie said. "But you all proved that you were able to live your life without me while I was gone. Now, I'll be gone again. And you'll all live your lives the same. And I won't be in pain anymore."

"Teddy," Mark said, entering the on-call room that she was in.

"Mark," Teddy said. "You're breaking up with me aren't you?"

Mark nodded slowly and Teddy wiped her eyes. "Alright," she murmured. "It's fine."

"It is?" Mark questioned.

"No," Teddy said. "But you love Lexie. And believe me, I know what it's like to not be able to be with the person you love."

"Is it Owen?" Mark asked.

Teddy ignored is question. Instead she said, "Please leave."

"Alright," Mark said.

He turned to leave but his conscious still felt guilty. And right before he left the room he said, "I slept with Lexie last night."

Teddy turned away from Mark and closed her eyes. "Why are you telling me this?" she demanded.

"Because," Mark said. "We were still together. And I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Just go be with your girlfriend."

Mark sighed and walked out of the room. But he suddenly felt a lot freer.

Alex watched Izzie in the dark room as she slept. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't.

But he always wanted to give her she wanted. And now she wanted to go home and die.

"What am I supposed to say to that?" Alex whispered.

Izzie turned over in her bed and her eyes opened. "Alex," she murmured. "Are you okay?"

"Please don't die," Alex whispered.

"Alex," Izzie whispered. She moved over in her bed. "Come here," she said, patting the bed.

"Iz-

"Alex."

Alex slowly moved through the dark room and climbed into bed with Izzie. She moved up slightly in the bed and wrapped her arms around him.

"But you have to live," Alex said. "We were supposed to live our lives together, have children. Izzie, please."

"Shh," Izzie whispered.

"But… oh Izzie," Alex started sobbing in Izzie's arms and she just held him.

"Relax," Izzie sighed. "You are right. We would live our lives together if it weren't for this disease."

"Izzie," Alex sobbed.

"Shh. Just close your eyes and picture our life together. Picture that good dream. It will always be there. Picture how I would probably talk you into getting a dog. And you would probably pretend to hate that dog, but when I'm not looking you'd probably be laughing and petting it in secret. And you would love that dog. And we would name it Doctor Bones… or something like that." Alex's breathing began to calm slightly. "And we would have four kids. Two girls and two boys. And one of those girls would have to be a tomboy. We would name the tomboy Rachel, but she would go by Ray. And we would name the other girl Isabella after me. And the boys would be named Danny and AJ which would stand for Alex Junior, after his wonderful father of course. And we would live in a big house. And we would have a great family. We would have family game nights and AJ and Ray would probably be sore losers, because they'd be stubborn, they'd all be stubborn. They'd get it from both of us. It's a good quality to have." Izzie took a deep breath and blinked back the tears in her eyes. "And we would have our fights," she sighed. "But every married couple has their fights. We'd get through them easily. And after the children are asleep we would sneak into our room and make up for that fight. And our kids would be total teenagers as they grow up. And you would tell the girl that they can't date until they're thirty. And Isabella would totally be her daddy's little girl. And we would love them all so much. And we'd get older in that big house of ours. And the kids would grow up. And we would have amazing grandchildren. And we'd eventually grow old and die in each other's arms. And we'd die being in love, together, in some nursery home, pretending that we were in that great big house of ours. And we'd know we had a great life."

Izzie finished and her face in Alex's shoulder. The room was in a peaceful silence and Izzie felt the sleepiness role over her.

She was pretty sure that Alex was asleep. Right when she was about to fall asleep she heard a quiet, very out of it voice.

"Wouldn't you want that?" Alex murmured.

"What?" Izzie slurred.

"Wouldn't you want that great life? There's a chance it could happen. And even if it's a small chance… it gives you a chance. You'd still have that chance, a chance to live. A chance to have that life."

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