Risky Business

-Interlude -

-7-

October 8, 2014

You would think that, like all cliché stories, I'd find myself over Green Eyes and falling for Chad…who had, by this time in the story, already fallen for Taryn (blonde bimbo on street). It would be an unrequited thing…and it would have a happy ending.

Well, this is not a story. This is real life. Chad went out on one date with Blonde Bimbo (we'll call her BB from now on). I had no luck getting Green Eyes (GE?) to go out with me, since Chad scared him off and all.

You know, since the night of Kevin and Dani, and he decided to plant one on me in front of them. It wasn't like it hadn't happened before, but a rush of emotions didn't come filing through me either.

So Chad and I kissed, held hands, cuddled (in public) and acted all couple-y-ish. We'd been on double dates (DDs) with Jamie and her husband, Kevin and Dani (again), Natti and Joe, Portlyn and Grady, and a few others.

And frankly, I was ready to quit. Be done and over with our charade. Because, if they knew the real Chad Dylan Cooper, everyone would know why I could never ever be a couple with him. They'd just know why I'm good at being his best friend.

Take five minutes ago for instance. I'm rifling through my closet, trying to find something to wear to some awards party that we've got going on, and Chad's lounging in my bed, drinking his chocolate milk through a straw.

Sexy as hell, right? Every tween girl's fantasy?

Wrong. He was talking whilst his mouth was full of said liquid. And, when he wasn't blabbering his butt off about how blondes are more fun than brunettes (seriously, what a killjoy), he was slurping-slash- blowing bubbles in his chocolate milk. My wonderfully mature best friend guys, meet him. Know him. Don't fall for him.

I somehow managed to get Chad off of my bed (mind out of gutter) and out of my room so I could change.

And when I was left alone, I breathed out a sigh of relief, and then gave an involuntary shiver.

I love Chad, I really do. But being around him…faking it with him, is killing me.

Have you ever heard of the term stalker? Five hours after Chad's chocolate milk deal, and the awards show later, I discovered I had one.

His name was Brandon.

Brandon's six inches shorter than me, eighty pounds heavier, has freckles splattered across his cheeks, and a really, really obnoxious laugh.

Oh, and he's known (and been in love with) me my whole life.

It's a dream come true, let me tell you.

Oh, and my beloved fake boyfriend? He's off flirting with some Pixie-Something-or-other (because we're at the hottest after-party and he can).

Whatever.

"And so I tried working for Miley Cyrus for a while, you know, because you and her have connections, and then I tried to talk to Tawni, but she scared me. So when I heard the people here needed someone to clean their bathrooms," –At this moment in time, Brandon thought that it would be okay to punch me (lightly) on my arm and wink his creepy wink. – "I knew that I was their man."

"C-congratulations." I gulped, peering over Brandon's head and scanning the room for Chad. I needed to be rescued. I needed my own personal Enrique Iglesias, who would come, grab my hand, and drive me home. There he'd fix some chocolate-covered popcorn for the both of us and serenade me.

Of course, I would fall asleep on the couch. Seeing that, Enrique, or, let's say, Shia, would scoop my sleeping form up in his arms and carry me to my bedroom. He'd gently lay me down, tuck me in, and kiss my forehead.

He'd then proceed to sit by my bedside until morning, where he would then start playing his guitar again.

One can dream.

Just like my own, personal, stalker-slash-bathroom cleaner.

"…And Miley scared me too. She's so obsessed with that Nick guy, but I guess that Nick's pretty hooked on his wife." I rolled my eyes. Of course Nick would be hooked on his wife. She's un-famous and therefore, un-crazy. Every once in a while, you're lucky if you find a nice, humble famous girl (like me). Most of the time, you get people like Miley. So when Nick found Shae, all of the nice, humble people (me), was extremely glad.

Oh. And I think that Kevin and Joe were glad too.

Anyway, where were we?

"So, I forgot to buy a ring, but would you consider, maybe-"

Oh. No.

"Um-"

"Hey, dude." And just, in the nick of time, I was being rescued. Enrique had finally come. I looked over my shoulder to smile at my singer, but when I found Chad's face, I frowned.

Chad looked at me with this huge, gigantic smile, saw my frown, and his expression matched my own. Then he turned back to Stalker and nodded at him.

"Hi man." At Chad's spoken words, Stalker was silent.

And then:

"Hey, baby," Suddenly, one of Chad's hands was placed on my cheek, the other on the small of my back. I was being leaned backwards, as Chad's lips met mine.

It wasn't just a peck. It was like a movie kiss. And hell, it was pretty damn good.

I started to get lost in the kiss; I started kissing Chad back. And then, all too quickly, Chad pulled me back up and his lips left mine.

Not cool.

"Wha-"

"I just thought that you needed to be rescued." Chad shrugged, gave me a half-smile, and walked away. I, in the meantime, felt heat spread over my cheeks, as I looked at Stalker. He looked just as frazzled as me, and a little angry. And, with a huff, he clenched his fists, spun on his feet, and walked away from me.

Alrighty then.

October 17, 2014

I decided that I hate (like really, really HATE people in relationships). They always act so smitten and giggly with each other. And, if they're married, and they have fights, they have hot makeup sex with each other.

It's not that I'm jealous of them; I just loathe them.

I mean, c'mon. Really.

Who honestly wants a person at their beck and call every day of the week? Who wants someone to worry about them so much, then…demand certain things from them?

I have my mother to worry about me, and that's enough, thank you very much.

I mean, I'm more of a Gracie Lou Freebush (sp?) than an Elle Woods.

I'm that tough, kick-ass agent who's always there for her fellow partners (or, in this case, friends), rather than the spitfire of a lawyer who probably loves really, really disgustingly romantic movies like all of my other friends in relationships.

I mean, Kevin and Dani, Natti and Joe, Grady and Portlyn, hell, even Nick and Shae probably love chick flicks.

I mean, of course, the guys probably get bored as hell watching them, but half way through, their wife wants to snuggle up to them. And then, seeing their advantage at the end of the movie (where said wife is taken with tears at the romanticness of it all), said husband sweeps said wife up in his arms and carries her off to their bedroom, where they make sweet love to each other.

I mean, seriously. Gag me with a spoon.

Who seriously wants that?

I think that I became disgusted while I was 30-40 minutes into The Notebook. Ally and Noah. Who needs them?

When the rolling credits finally appeared, I shut the movie off and started flipping through the channels. Because God likes to pick on me, I landed on Chad's interview with Ellen, taken today.

She had asked him something about me.

His response?

"Yeah. Yeah. Being in love with your best friend is the greatest thing in the world. And Sonny…she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. There's no way I'm going to let her go."

Sweet cameraman (we'll call him Chester) then chose that very moment to zoom in on Chad. Chad's blue eyes sparkled in the camera. His cheeks were flushed with a little pink. And his lips. Oh, his lips.

Feeling slightly guilty, I flipped my television off and looked around my empty apartment, missing Chad sitting on the couch beside me.

And with a little flip-flop inside my chest, I realized that hearing Chad say those things made me happy…and secure.

And what's sad?

I kind of wished that what he said was the truth.

October 31, 2014

Chad thought that it would be "just adorable" if we went to Grady and Portlyn's Halloween party as some kind of old-timey super-hero couple.

Forget the sensible ones. Forget Superman and…his girl chick (forget Chad in spandex). Forget Batman and his…girl chick.

Chad was dressed head to toe in black, with an extra billowy black shirt on, accompanied by a black mask. I was wearing this ultra old-timey red dress; the top being one of those old-timey laced-up things that makes your boobs practically...(well, let's just say that my cups were running over).

He was Zorro, and I was Catherine Zeta Jones, (let's be frank, we all forget her name in that movie).

"Are you sure about this?" I mean, it was only the hundredth time that I'd asked. But still, my boobs were up and…scaring me.

"Perfectly, Sonny." Chad opened the front door to Grady and Portlyn's house (from now on, we'll just refer to the happy couple as 'Gradlyn' or 'Team Gradlyn'), and let us in. I gulped, giving him one last onceover.

He really, really pulled off the Zorro look well.

Seriously, just looking at him made my heart to this awkward flippy thing.

Chad just stared back at me, a slight smirk forming on the corners of his lips.

Screw Zorro, this was Pride and Prejudice all the way.

You know that scene where Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are dancing in that room full of people, and then, all of those people disappear?

Well, there were dozens of people trying to greet Chad and me, but we were successfully ignoring them. I just wanted him to lean in and kiss me for real.

But, of course, that didn't happen.

After continuing on with our sexy-tension stare-down, Chad finally broke it off by shrugging his butt ugly (okay, honestly, horribly sexy) shoulders and grinning his grin.

Good heavens, what the heck is happening to me?

I mean, just, seriously. Guys make no sense at all.

Why can't love just be simple? Seriously?

It's not like I'm in love with Chad. Really, I'm not. I just think that he's not bad looking, and I kind of like him, and I kind of want him to have feelings for me. Mostly, I just want to have an honest-to-goodness make out session and call it a day, okay?

Twenty minutes into the party later, Chad's arm was around my waist and Tawni was apple-bobbing.

I desperately, desperately needed a distraction.

I needed to scoot my boot away from Chad.

I let my eyes scan the room, until I found my distraction.

And then…

Bingo.

Abilene Ames is a twenty-eight-year-old blonde haired, blue eyed publicist (kind of beautiful), in need of her perfect guy.

And Ryan Seacrest…Well he was standing off to the side of her, making longing eyes at her.

The corners of my mouth lifted up in a grin, and I shrugged myself out of a hypnotized-Chad's grasp (he was apparently amazed at Tawni's ability to…bob).

It was about time that this Sonbeam put some of her great talents to use.

And it was Ryan Seacrest's lucky night. He was about to be introduced to his wife.

One hour later,(and Ryan and Abilene…Team Rylene, in love), I was back under Chad's grasp, and growing tired quickly.

Also, yet again, I found myself jealous of Aubree.

She's little. Her parents get to take her trick-or-treating. It's not fair.

She gets a lot of candy, and I get a lot of drunk people (namely Chad) making inappropriate comments to me.

After catcalls and hoots from our horribly drunk friends, I managed to get Chad out to the car, and attempted to talk him into getting in.

But Chad…Well Chad was being drunk Chad. And Drunk Chad never cooperates. So after much protesting and one Bon Jovi song (sung by Chad, of course) later, I finally stomped my foot, crossed my arms, and gave Chad the evil eye.

At this, he smirked, leaned forward, and decided that it would be a good time to kiss me.

Sad thing was, there was no one around.

And here I was, kissing him back, falling for him, and wondering what in the world I was doing.

A/N: Finally, right! I mean, finally (I updated!) and finally (they kissed without anyone looking). Once again, I am so sorry for keeping you all waiting. But the last thing that I will ever do is give up on this story. I'm not going to leave you hanging for months – I'm just not that way. So thank you to those of you who are reading/reviewing and being patient with me. You're all incredible!

And…what do you think?

-Aly