Risky Business
"Let's run away and don't ever look back,
My heart stops when you look at me,
Just one touch, now baby I believe,
This is real, so take a chance
And don't ever look back"
-14-
December 8, 2014
Mother Loving Cousin-In-Law left today, along with his wife who is ready to pop, if I may say so myself. Therefore, Chad leaves today, which is…
Which really, really bugs me. First of all, I'm going to miss the goodnight kisses, the caramel macchiatos in the fridge, and the cuddling on the couch. I'm also going to miss Chad running his fingers through my hair (whilst Jill and Laketon were watching), and pulling me in for tighter hugs (yet again, Jill and Husband were witnesses).
Also, I would like everyone to take a note that a) Laketon is to be blamed for all of my depressed feelings, and b) Chad's arm muscles are really nice.
The 'b' option is just…yeah. But seriously, they are. Especially when he's having a nightmare at 2 AM and he unconsciously pulls me closer to snuggle with him. I snuggle too. I like wrapping my arms around his well defined torso and resting my head on his chest. I like the feeling of his breath on my neck. And, even though they were bothersome for the first couple of hours the first night, I grew quite fond of Chad's snores. I even lay there one night and determined that his snores come out to the tune of "We Will Rock You" by Queen. Do not ask me how I know this…but I do.
I blame Laketon.
Side note: I would like to issue a complaint about modern day writers. If their lead character isn't blaming somebody, the LC (lead character) is either eating as much chocolate as they want to (without gaining a pound), or making out with a really cute guy, trying to make the guy that they're pining for jealous. And, you see, the LC is always so freaking irresistible that she can get any guy that she wants. She either has blonde hair, really long legs, or really blue eyes.
Here's the thing. I'm placing the blame game on Laketon. I thoroughly support the blame game. But, if I eat chocolate, it goes straight to my boobs, and…if I eat too much, it goes to my butt, hips, and legs in the utmost unflattering way. Also, I do not have blonde hair, really long legs, or really blue eyes. I do not have lots of guys pining for me. That would be Chad.
Just check out 'gaysforCDC(dot)com'…The fanbase is huge. He also has lots of female fans, but why go there…(considering he's gone out with probably half of them).
If this were a Glee episode, my (ideal) fantasy would be where Chad is Kurt, and I'm Brittany. Chad here attempts to kiss me and thinks that his only love is me, but then realizes that he's gay. I'd be heartbroken for a while, but then I'd move on. Because…well…just because.
But, this is real life. So, in this RL (real life) episode, Chad is grand combination of Finn and Puck, the lovely manwhores that they are. And me? I'm that extra that you see walking around carrying books, dying to go on a date with either.
Anyway.
Where were we?
Oh. Chad's going back to his place today.
This consists of Chad lounging on my couch stuffing Pop Tarts in his mouth while his best friend does his laundry.
And when I say Pop Tarts, I do mean multiple ones. He's actually gone through three boxes. If I were him, I'd be puking…Then again, Chad says the same thing about me and Lucky Charms.
Chad is currently watching While You Were Sleeping whilst stuffing the Pop Tarts in his mouth. I know the feeling. You see, While You Were Sleeping is ultimately the best romance film ever created. Bill Pullman is sweet to look at, and you can never, ever go wrong with Sandra Bullock. The movie just has a little bit of everything in it.
I like to sit and watch it with a box of Puffs, a couple of Milky Way bars, and a nice cup of hot white chocolate.
Yes, it is just that spectacular.
You might wonder why Chad is watching this chick flick that I've seen over eighty times…but I got him addicted to it.
Chad is not Gay Kurt. We just need to face that fact. And breathe.
Coming to this revelation at the same time Bill accuses Sandy's character of "leaning"; I sigh as I pull out a pair of Chad's boxer-briefs and fold them. Don't you just love how Chad entrusts me with this stuff?
They're blue with white polka dots. I really shouldn't care about this, I am Chad's best friend after all. I'm probably right in there, equal with Jamington and his mom who have seen his polka-dotted boxer-briefs before. But seeing them here, right now, is kind of thrilling and nervous at the same time.
Why, you wonder? Because they smell like Lavender Tide detergent and I'm ridiculously in love with my best friend…which has therefore made me insane and incapable of forming a single literate thought.
I have questions…
Such as, in Pride & Prejudice, why was Elizabeth able to handle falling in love so wittingly smooth? Why am I not as smooth as her?
I mean, the book was based in olden times. They probably didn't even have Gillett razors back then. Do you see what I did there? …"Smooth"
Seriously, damn you, Laketon.
Also…
Why am I attracted to Chad? Why did I fall in love with him? Why didn't I realize I liked him before I became best friends with him (because, according to Grady, that's what I did)?
And, also, why can't Chad be like Bill Pullman and fall in love with me too? I mean, I don't even have a boyfriend and he's…well, he's himself. But still, he at least needs to open his piercing blue orbs and see that Taylor Swift clearly wrote "You Belong With Me" about us.
She's going to sing it at our wedding one day.
And then:
"Sonny, why in the hell am I watching this movie? Did you pack me yet?"
In my mind, I translated this into: "You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." (Here is where I would rush over to him, he'd sweep me up in his arms, and we'd share a passionate kiss.)
Chad is not Mr. Darcy however, so I brushed the haze out of my eyes, and threw Chad's underwear at him, while he cussed at me.
At times I wonder why I fell for Chad.
Most of the time, I don't.
An hour and a half later, Chad is packed, holding onto his duffle bag, and strutting towards the door all-so-gloriously.
He turns to remind me that we're having dinner with Joe and Natti, and then leaves.
There's no kiss on the cheek. There's no peck on the lips, and I don't even get hugged goodbye. However, I do know that I plan on taking Chad's breath away tonight.
And with this, I have to options. A) I'll wear something so stunningly sexy that he can't breathe, or B) I'll punch him in the gut.
Considering how I like wearing jeans more than anything else, it'll probably be the second option.
Ooo000ooO
Four hours after Chad leaves, I find myself in a little yellow dress. And when I say "little" I mean that I had to squeeze in my gut to get it on. It accentuates everything, rests about an inch above my knees, and makes me unable to breathe.
(Side note: As much as we love junk food and carbs, order the side salad…or you'll get thrown out of the restaurant because your dress will pop off of you.)
My hair is half pulled back in ringlets, I'm wearing smokey eye shadow, and just because I needed to be me, I painted my fingernails a sickening shade of green.
You can take the girl out of the goofy but you can't take the goofy out of the girl. Isn't there a Brooks & Dunn song about that?
No, that's "Put a Girl In It." Chad can put me in it. Or Chad can put it in me. Crap.
Damn you, Laketon.
After I pulled my flip-flops on (because I am oh-so classy), Chad knocked on my door right on time. I grumbled, huffed, but before I could get the door open for Chad all the way, I managed to trip over my flip-flops and start falling.
Before my chin could come-to with the ground, two arms wrapped themselves around me to stop me from falling.
Chad.
Mr. Darcy.
Jack aka Bill Pullman.
Prince Charming.
I sighed, then gulped, realizing Chad's arms were still around me, my knees were on the ground (as were his), my chest was pressed against his, and my hands had intertwined themselves in his hair. Sometime during my plunge, I closed my eyes, and I hadn't dared open them yet. Chad's breath was heavy against my neck…and I knew, if I opened my eyes, I'd be looking right into his.
What a flipping wonderful situation I was in. No hormones raging, lips burning, or anything like that.
"You alright, Sonny?" Was it just me, or was Chad's voice extra husky?
I still had my eyes closed as I nodded my head quickly.
It was a mistake too, because I immediately felt like I had a hangover.
"Really? Because your chin is bleeding pretty badly." Chad persisted, pulling away from me slightly. I immediately missed his closeness (i.e. his head being less than a millimeter away from mine). And then I stiffened.
Chin.
Hurt head.
Oh, that's right, Chad caught me before my chin hit the ground, but that did not mean that I didn't hit my head on the door as I was going down.
I finally got the nerve to open my eyes and say something completely and utterly meaningful. "Blaaaaaah, muh 'ed 'urts."
Way to screw up the ultra romantic moment and your one chance at bagging (totally not meant that way) Chad, Sonny.
My best friend fought back a laugh as he steadied me, got to his feet, and then pulled me to my feet. Before I could get a witty sentence or something out, Chad had me in his arms again, but picked me up this time, carrying me bridal-style into my home.
As he was carrying me, I took my time studying Chad. His well defined jaw, the way his blue eyes were kind of sparkling, the little smirk that took place on his lips.
As strange as it seems, I felt like I was swooning just looking at him. Before I could make some pathetic sound to 'verbalize' my feelings over this man, I was sat down on my bathroom counter, where I could look in the mirror.
My chin was bleeding, alright. And to think I looked pretty, when I actually looked pretty pathetic.
Ugh.
Why would Chad want me?
"It's okay, Sonny," Chad leaned over and kissed my cheek before he started rifling through my medicine cabinet. "You're still beautiful."
Here's where I melted, and got a pathetic grin on my face, which made my chin hurt worse.
Ooo000ooO
Twenty-seven minutes after my bloody chin situation was taken care of, I found myself seated across from Joe and Natti Jonas,
Here's what dinner usually looks like with Joe and Natti:
Joe and Chad order cheeseburgers with bake potatoes and cokes, while Natti and I proceed to split a steak and drink sweet tea. Joe and Chad talk about football (which Chad is dumb about), baseball (which Chad knows nothing about), and golf (which I hate because it's the most boring game ever created).
Natti, in the meantime, throws perverted comments at me whenever she can and asked me what kind of hickey cover-up I use.
This draws Chad's attention and pulls a smirk on his face, whilst Joe Jonas goes on about Tim Tebow being the hottest guy on the field.
I have to agree, of course. Tim Tebow is yummy… but I'm not so sure that Joe was talking about hotness on that level.
For the rest of dinner, I try to keep Natti's mind off of Chad and me, because a) It's painful, and b) It's embarrassing.
So I ask her when Dani's due (to which there is no certain date), how Nick and Shae are (they're on their second honeymoon…so I'm guessing really good), and when she and Joe plan on making a family. We breeze through all of these questions, Chad gives me a few kisses on the cheek here and there, we eat dessert, and then, finally, depart.
I don't know whether it's from nerves or because Chad picks up on the fact that I'm uptight, but we're both silent on the car ride home.
Truth be told? Watching Natti and Joe interact makes me so jealous that I can't even begin to explain it. And I know that jealousy isn't right. It's a disgusting feeling, wanting something that you can't have and all.
But…here's the thing; I'm not so sure that I can't have it. I'm just scared about confronting my feelings and talking to Chad.
I'm not so sure that Chad doesn't feel the same way about me. The way he looks at me…the way that he touches me…He can't not feel anything, right?
We arrived at my door, and I watched Chad slide my key in the lock, because I was far too lazy and mopey to open the door myself.
It's not just Chad.
It's also that Christmas is right around the corner.
And every year, by December first, I'm completely wrapped up in my Christmas spirit (no pun intended).I feel this joy. These feeling of mystery, like there's something amazing right around the corner. The atmosphere's different…everything is strangely happy.
It's the eighth of December, and I haven't even felt a little bit of my beloved Christmas spirit.
Rats.
Again, I blame Laketon.
"Dinner was…interesting." I bit my lip and gave a one-shouldered shrug as my best friend tried to make conversation.
Do you ever have those moments when you just don't feel like yourself? I simply felt like I was a stranger in Sonny Munroe's body? Seriously, what was happening to me?"
"Sonny," Chad took a step towards me, looking desperate and concerned. "Please tell me what's going on, honey. You've been acting weird since you fell and hit your chin." Again, before I could melt over the fact that he called me 'honey', a whole new level of concern spread across his perfect face. "Do you think that you have a concussion? Do you want me to take you to a doctor? Do you want me to stay here tonight and keep an eye on you?"
No, no, and yes. I guiltily shook my head though, answering 'no' to all of his questions.
What's strange is that my heart was actually aching, and I didn't know why – I just knew that I hated the feeling with a passion. I nearly felt sick.
I also knew that Chad had other plans tonight. He was going to meet a new girl at some secluded club tonight. I'd heard him talking on his cell phone on the way home, and I just now put two and two together.
He had a date.
He didn't care.
And my heart was slowly but surely breaking.
Except…He did call me beautiful. He called me pet names, and touched me like he really cared. And I was just oh-so confused.
At one point or another, I must have whimpered, causing Chad to take the remaining steps towards me and engulf me in his arms.
Before I could snuggle deeper into Chad; before I could rest my head in the crook of his neck and breathe him in, he removed one of his hands from my waist, trailed it up my back, across my neck, and under my chin. Ever so slowly, his fingers gently tilted my chin back to where I was looking him in the eye.
Chad was biting his lip, looking uncertain, until I nodded my head slowly, feeling my eyes begin to flutter closed.
By the time Chad's lips brushed against mine, I could feel my heart and mind beginning to scream. As soon as his lips were on my own, they were off, and Chad pulled back for a second, giving me a look that I'd never seen before. All I knew though, was that I couldn't let him walk away. I couldn't let him not kiss me.
I ran my hands up his chest, grabbed his collar, and pulled him towards me. Both of Chad's hands moved to my neck, then my hair, then my waist, as he cracked a small smile before letting his lips find mine again. And this time, they moved against mine with ease. His kisses were slow and passionate at first. But then they became fiercer, breathier, even more passionate.
At certain intervals, he'd move his lips from mine to trail them along my cheek, across my neck…and his hands would not stay in one place, they were everywhere. I was matching each of his movements in my own way, surprising him when I kissed the skin beneath his earlobe; tickling him when I planted kisses across his neck.
There wasn't any declaration of our feelings for each other; in fact, no words were spoken. I have no idea how long our kiss lasted, whether it was many minutes or hours, but I knew that it went on for a while.
When we broke apart for the final time, chests heaving, attempting to catch our breaths, Chad took my hands in his and pulled me close to him, hugging me like he'd never hugged me before. Every time that I dared to look him in the eyes, there was always a look on his face that I'd never seen before.
And never before had I ever seen him look better. I wanted to memorize the way he looked after our first real kiss.
His black button up shirt was wrinkled, his hair was sticking up all over the place, his cheeks were red; eyes sparkling and wide, and his mouth curved up in a wonderful closed-mouth smile.
With a pathetic bandage on my chin, I didn't even want to think about how badly I looked. I didn't even matter even more.
What mattered was that Chad had kissed me. Without an audience. Without having to put on a charade for everybody.
The kiss was completely, painstakingly real…And, I wondered if I'd ever find out what it meant.
Lyrics: Gottwald, L; Levin, B; Martin, M; Mckee, B; Perry, K – Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
A/N: If you can take a moment to imagine Nick J's crackly voice in "Sorry" …that's how I feel for not updating in so long! I'd give you my reasons (.evil), but I'll refrain. I hope that the ending of this chapter paid for your long wait, though! They kissed…for real, this time. Yaysies!
And so, if any of you are still reading this, THANK YOU so much! And I would love to hear your thoughts.
-Aly