A/N: So, it's official. I'm back! And so is Memory. I'll keep this short. I'm sorry. There. Now enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 3: The Ballad of Fred and Alicia

~oO0Oo~

I'd like to be the first to clear up that I'm not good with tears. Crying people just make me uncomfortable, and frankly, I find tears rather unmoving.

This was not stopping Alicia from drowning me in hysterics coming up to the dormitory from dinner.

"H-He's such a bloody arse!" She wailed as we sat on her bed.

I didn't even know who she was talking about.

"Who is?" I asked timidly, afraid of the reaction. Alicia could be quite scary when she wanted to.

"F-Fred," she sputtered.

Right. Duh. Alicia and Fred had starting 'hanging out' quite a lot lately, and George told me that he saw them snogging in the common room two days ago, but I wasn't so sure I believed him.

I sure did now.

"Ah. Well then. What has he done this time?" I sighed.

Alicia frowned for a moment, briefly stopping the waterfall of tears pouring from her eyes. "Well, he was chatting up Maria Smith at breakfast today, and then, then I s-saw him give her a peck on the cheek!"

I was really trying not to roll my eyes. But I couldn't help myself.

Luckily those who cry are also at the mercy of being momentarily visually impaired, caused by blurriness from water.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"He's just s-so s-stupid!"

I heard the door open and then shut again and looked up to see Angelina. "Who's stupid?" She asked, concerned slightly at the sight of the room.

"Fred," I answered shortly.

"And he wont s-stop making jokes at me, even the really terrible ones, and every time I hint at being more than friends, he says he has something to do. Fred Weasley! With homework!"

"I'm sorry-"

"He never listens to me when I tell him not to do something, and he refuses to sit down for more than ten seconds before gallivanting off to do something idiotic! I can't take it!"

"So let me ask you a question," I said, looking at the newly-heartbroken Alicia, "What can you stand about him?"

She frowned, once again pondering an answer.

"He has nice hair."

"He has nice hair that's wonderful darling."

Then the waterworks started back up and I sat next to Angelina as we tried to reason why our friend had started to fancy him in the first place.

~oO0Oo~

George and I were sitting on the couch in front of the fire in the common room, studying for our upcoming pre-exam in Herbology.

"Are you actually going to try and pass this?" George asked, yawning.

I sighed. "Yes. If I flunk Herbology, that's kind of embarrassing isn't it? No offence," I answered.

George shrugged and put away my flash cards. "I feel that I do best when I don't pay attention or study. Or take the exam in the first place."

I smiled. "You know, some people might misconstrue that as cheating."

"Well, how unfortunate for them."

"You will not believe what crap Alicia bloody Spinnet was spitting at me just now," said Fred, breaking the conversation and plopping himself in-between George and I and crushing my flash cards.

"Watch it, will you?" I said, shoving him aside to get my cards.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Anyway. She came up to me just now and started yelling at me in front of the whole bloody corridor that I was a real arse and that if I was so interested in Maria Smith, maybe I should date her. I didn't even know Alicia and I were dating."

"Well, you were snogging in the common room that night," George snickered.

"Oh, shut it," Fred retaliated.

"You know, she really likes you. She was rather upset last night after dinner because she saw you kiss Maria on the cheek," I put in.

"I tried to tell her that I usually do that to all my girl friends, emphasis on the friend bit, but she wasn't having that. And then I tried to get Angelina to help, but-"

"You don't kiss me on the cheek," I interjected.

It was true. Fred always kissed his girl friends, emphasis on the friends, on the cheek when saying goodbye. Except for me.

"Well, I mean, that's different. You're, well, you're," Fred sputtered.

"Just shut it now, mate," George said. "He doesn't kiss you on the cheek because he forgets you're a girl."

"Forgets I'm a girl?" I said testily. "I think it's pretty obvious."

"I, er, have to go finish up that essay thing. You know. Er, goodnight," Fred said, quickly getting up from the couch and leaving George and I to study peacefully once more.

"That certainly was odd," I commented, handing George back my flash cards. "He doesn't usually act like that."

George shrugged. "It's not as if he likes you or anything, I think you just caught him off guard, that's all."

"Oh, so it's unlikely for anyone to like me is what your saying," I said, smiling slightly as George quickly came up with a better phrasing.

"No, not that. I just think all this girl stuff makes him nervous."

"And you don't get nervous around girls?"

"Please, Memory, I'm a smooth operator," George boastfully proclaimed.

I raised an eyebrow. "I dare you to ask Angelina out to the first Hogsmeade weekend."

George went about six shades of red. "No. Now, er, what's the purpose of a mandrake?"

~oO0Oo~

"A bloody T," I complained loudly on the way back from Herbology. "I even studied for that one.

Fred patted me on the back. "You can't help your lack of intelligence, Memory. It's only natural."

I swatted him with the arm that wasn't holding my bag. "She threw me off guard when she said chapters two and three. I wasn't expecting it."

"Sure," Fred said slyly.

"Maybe it is just intelligence level. Even I got a D on it," George interjected. "That's pretty good. For us, at least."

"Well then, super genius', why don't you tell me why Alicia is storming over here," I said with a smirk.

Sure enough, Alicia was coming at us and this was not something I wanted to be a part of.

"Lee!" I yelled up ahead. "I think I hear the bells of the beyond calling us to class!"

"Not the bloody beyond bells again," he moaned back as we ditched poor Fred, leaving him with Alicia, seeing as George had decided to strike up a conversation with Angelina.

"Why do you suppose she sees in him anyway?" I asked as we walked into the Great Hall for lunch. "I mean, he is kind of a git sometimes."

"Don't ask me," Lee said, "I'm not a girl." We sat down at the Gryffindor table, which was nearly empty, considering most of the classes had not been let out yet.

"Oh yes you are," George said, seating himself next to Lee. "By the way, have you heard anything more about Quidditch tryouts?"

Lee nodded. "This Saturday. You and George are trying out again, right?"

"I'm George, actually, but yes," George said.

"Sorry," Lee mumbled. "Can't believe I still do that."

"Either of you wouldn't happen to know if Cedric is going to be Hufflepuff's seeker again, would you?" I asked casually.

Those two started laughing like madmen.

"I told you she fancied him," Lee said to George like I wasn't sitting right across from them.

"Excuse me," I said irritably, "I do not. It was a valid question."

George snorted. "Yeah, sure. Whoa, what happened to you?"

Fred dropped down next to me and took a finger sandwich. "Alicia socked me in the eye."

Lee was ignoring the all out seriousness of the situation. "Well did you deserve it?"

Perhaps it was inappropriate to laugh.

But we did anyway.

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So, anyone seen HP7 yet? I went at midnight and I thought it was AMAZING.

Thanks for reading!

-Valfish