(Scene two. The Sick Ward. Severus sits in a wheelchair and in his now much-too-wide black robes, with the determined expression of a man who is not too weak to be up, whatever the Healer may say. There is a second chair by his bed. Hermione Granger enters, clasping a clipboard and a quill.)
HERMIONE: Good afternoon, Professor Snape.
SEVERUS: Good afternoon, Miss Granger. I see that you come well-prepared?
(Hermione takes the second chair, takes up the quill, and starts ticking off items as she speaks)
HERMIONE: Quite. I've done some preliminary research. The first step seems to me to decide who will be in this calendar. Then I'll have to establish the order of the pictures, arrange the photo shoots, and write the background stories. Then the graphics team can start.
SEVERUS: Admirable. The Pirelli company could learn a thing or two from you. Is there anything in particular that I should – or could – do, or is this to be the shortest committee meeting in history?
HERMIONE: There are several things you could do, Professor, and one of them is refraining from remarks about the Pirelli calendar. I've had quite enough of that during the Projects Meeting. I'm surprised you've heard about it.
SEVERUS: I'm half Muggle, Miss Granger. So my revered colleagues mentioned it?
HERMIONE: Not Pirelli exactly. But several of the male Board Members suggested that "a pretty girl always sells well". And then the male Prefects felt encouraged to pipe up, too.
SEVERUS: I see. And your response to that was?
HERMIONE: I didn't actually say anything – I just decided that I would take on this particular project.
SEVERUS: Miss Granger, you surprise me. You said nothing?
HERMIONE: I said nothing on the topic of images, no. I felt that the best policy would be not to get mad, but to get even. So I merely suggested "Let's all have fun together" for a theme. Given the previous ideas, Professor McGonagall was eager to accept.
SEVERUS (chuckles): I've heard about My House Cup Runneth Over. Who, in Merlin's name?
HERMIONE: Professor Trelawney.
SEVERUS: Oh, dear. I should have known. You may want to consider a picture of her with a cup that does runneth over …
HERMIONE: With cooking sherry? The thought crossed my mind, but we have to aim for 'unexpected'.
(Severus and Hermione both grin at each other. When they realize what they're doing, they stop and look elsewhere in a somewhat embarrassed way. )
SEVERUS: Anyhow. What did you have in mind?
HERMIONE: The idea was that every group should be represented. And that's exactly what I plan, and why I proposed the present theme.
SEVERUS: I'm afraid I don't quite see …
HERMIONE: It's obvious. Everyone was thinking of a calendar with three from each House. This would mean, of course, carefully selecting people because they are Hufflepuffs, or Gryffindors, or whatever, and then pretend that their House doesn't matter at all.
SEVERUS: People are rarely more patronizing when they are carefully being unprejudiced, you mean? The some of my best friends are … attitude?
HERMIONE: Exactly!
(Severus and Hermione smile at each other, then quickly look away again)
SEVERUS: I'm really curious now what you're planning.
HERMIONE: Oh, I'll have one person at least from each House – but that's not difficult: they all have fascinating people. But for the other eight pictures, I plan to include everyone at Hogwarts.
SEVERUS: You mean …
HERMIONE: I mean House-Elves. Centaurs. Merpeople. I mean to ask Hagrid and Grawp to pose together. I'd like to have Professor Flitwick, too. Not because he's head of Ravenclaw, but …
SEVERUS: … because he's the only one with both Goblin blood and a connection to Hogwarts? I see what you mean by getting even, Miss Granger. But you may face quite a lot of opposition.
HERMIONE: I've thought about that, yes. But so far, I've used five pictures for the different groups. That leaves seven. And I plan to use those as my male committee members in their infinite wisdom suggested. When they ask for progress reports, I'll tell them I'm following their excellent idea in collecting suitable subjects.
SEVERUS: Girls?
HERMIONE: Women, Professor. Interesting women. For December, I plan to ask Fleur Delacour – Fleur Weasley, now.
SEVERUS: Fleur Delacour? But she's …
HERMIONE: She was a competitor at the Hogwarts Triwizard Tournament, so she has spent a year here. She's part Veela, which includes yet another group. She'll also be perfect for the cover picture. I do mean to sell a lot of calendars, Professor. And if she's the picture for December, those calendars will not be thrown out before the year is over. It means that people have eleven months to look at my interpretation of the word together. And what I'd like to ask of you, Professor, if you feel up to it, of course, is to come up with some interesting witches. Adult witches. Then, at our next meeting, we can select the final twelve – and one or two runners-up, in case someone refuses. I'll leave you for now; Madam Pomfrey warned me not to tire you.
(Severus nods several times, with just a hint of a smile. Hermione gets up, gathers her clipboard and quill, and walks towards the door. )
SEVERUS: Miss Granger, may I ask you a somewhat personal question?
(Hermione turns around and looks at Severus, slightly surprised.)
HERMIONE: What question, Professor?
SEVERUS: Did the Hat hesitate, however briefly, before it Sorted you?
HERMIONE (surprised): No. Why?
SEVERUS: Oh, nothing. I merely thought …
HERMIONE: You thought what, Professor?
SEVERUS: That you'd have made a fine Slytherin, Miss Granger.
HERMIONE: Oh, really? Thank you, Professor. That, at least, is an original notion.
(Exit Hermione)
*~*~*~*~*~*
Severus had gone over that scene several times. There were various surprising things. First of all, the extremely business-like way in which Miss Granger had started their conversation. Without as much as a How are you doing? It had sounded as if she found the whole calendar project rather unpleasant. Yet it was right up her street, and she was setting things up in an admirably devious manner.
And a second thing: when Miss Granger had mentioned Minerva, she had sounded almost irritated, which was very odd. At one time, his Slytherin girls had referred to her as Miss PMS. He had been surprised at the moniker; Miss Granger was often irritated, but not irrationally or periodically so. Then he had found out that PMS stood for Professor McGonagall Says, and he had realized that Miss Granger had quite a schoolgirl crush on her Head of House. He could understand that. But why the change? What had happened?
A further ground for thoughts was that he now had to come up with some clever and surprising ideas for suitable witches. It was very important he'd get them just right. Not that Miss Granger couldn't manage on her own; he just wanted to … to keep up the good name of Slytherin. That was all.
These things were enough to occupy a man's mind. Not that he was taking an interest, it was just better than laying wagers with himself as to whether lunch would arrive on the dot of twelve or (as had happened once) five minutes late.
So there was absolutely no need to think of Miss Granger's delightful sense of humour, or of scenarios for unexpected photographs of her.
No need at all.
*~*~*~*~*~*
(Scene three. The Sick Ward. Severus sits in a normal, high-backed chair and looks less tired. He has a scroll of parchment and a quill ready to hand on a little bedside table. Hermione enters, clasping the same clipboard and quill as before.)
SEVERUS: Good afternoon, Miss Granger. I hope the project is going well?
HERMIONE: It is, Professor. So far, all the people on my list have accepted. Kreacher is willing to pose; I'm very pleased about that.
SEVERUS: Great news, no doubt. Only, if you'll forgive my ignorance, who's Kreacher?
HERMIONE: One of the Elves. He used to work for the Black family, and we came to know him quite well – Ron, Harry and I, that is – when we stayed in Grimmauld Place last year. He's quite enthusiastic about my take on 'unexpected'.
SEVERUS: And your take is?
HERMIONE: Everyone will be photographed at their very favourite place at Hogwarts, and the background stories will explain the special meaning of that place. Kreacher wants to pose under the Quidditch stands, because Regulus Black, his former … erm … master, told him that was his favourite place – he used to hide there, to be alone sometimes. Kreacher wants to tell about Regulus's endeavours to destroy one of the Horcruxes – it's a wonderful story about a Slytherin who gave his life to stop You-Know-Who.
SEVERUS: I see. Unexpected, indeed, and exactly the kind of thing you were looking for. And do you have other names already?
HERMIONE: Some, Professor, but I'd like to hear your ideas first.
SEVERUS: I'd thought of Muriel Prewett. She's on the Hogwarts Board of Directors, has been forever, and she's quite a personality.
(As Severus speaks, he takes up his parchment and ticks of an item on the list. Hermione grins, and ticks off an item on her own clipboard. Severus grins back. This time, they don't look away.)
HERMIONE: Snap! I had her down, too. She'll be brilliant. The only thing I regret it that the story will have to fit the back side of a calendar page. She'll have so much to tell.
SEVERUS: I have also thought of Madam Hilary Carmichael, the Rectrix Magnifica of Bridgeford Wizarding University. You've heard of her, I presume?
HERMIONE: Yes, of course. Her nephew was at Hogwarts one year ahead of us – Eddie. He got nine Outstandings for his O.W.L.'s! But I don't think … I mean … I couldn't possibly ask her.
SEVERUS: Why not, Miss Granger? She seems eminently suitable.
HERMIONE: She is! Of course! It's just … you see … (Hermione looks down at her clipboard and fiddles with her quill)
SEVERUS: Tell me what the problem is, Miss Granger. I'm supposed to make a useful contribution, after all.
HERMIONE: Well, you see, I'm … I'm planning to apply for a place at Bridgeford next year. I want to read History of Magic, and, if I'm good enough, I'd like to try for a Master's Degree – and get a place to … to teach at … not at Bridgeford, perhaps, but at some university.
SEVERUS: History of Magic? I didn't know that to be such a favourite of yours. You did very well in it, of course, but in your case that's hardly a clear sign of preference. And if you care for my opinion, I think Bridgeford would be just the place for you. You could go far there, Miss Granger. But what's the problem in asking Madam Carmichael, then?
HERMIONE: Don't you see? If I get in, if I get a place at all, I want it to be because of my results, not just because I'm Harry Potter's friend. Or because of this whole calendar-thing.
SEVERUS: Miss Granger, that's nonsense. You know as well as I do that students list special projects on their application. This is a special project. You're running it. You'll have to put it in your letter, and the fact that you happen to meet Madam Carmichael on the strength of it won't make a bit of difference to her or to the Admission Board.
HERMIONE: Yes, but … still … Professor, couldn't you write to …. No, of course not. That would be far too fatiguing.
SEVERUS: Please. I'm still capable of holding a quill, and if you insist, I'll most certainly write to Madam Carmichael. I think she'll be glad to accept – if only because it's a chance to visit Professor McGonagall. They're very good friends.
(Hermione looks up and nods gratefully)
HERMIONE: If you would? That would be great. It means that I don't have … well…
(Severus smiles and picks up his parchment.)
SEVERUS: That's settled, then. Now, for the next person on my list. Do you think including Rosmerta would be stretching 'Hogwarts Person' too far?
HERMIONE: Rosmerta? But she's the one who … with the necklace …
SEVERUS: She was unfortunate enough to have suffered an Imperius, yes. That makes her a victim of Voldemort – I trust you have no special grounds to exclude them?
HERMIONE: No. No, of course not. And you're right. She was a victim, as much as poor Katie. But …
SEVERUS: She's also very much a part of Hogwarts Life. Lots of old students will love to see her in that calendar. Because of all the fond memories they have of the Three Broomsticks, or …
HERMIONE: Or because they love to see Madam Rosmerta on a calendar. You're right. She might do very well for the month of …
SEVERUS and HERMIONE together: June.
(Severus and Hermione both laugh.)
SEVERUS: Our great minds thinking alike. Now, who else did you have in mind?
HERMIONE: Madam Hooch. And Professor McGonagall, of course. Now that Hogwarts finally has a female Headmistress.
SEVERUS: Quite. So that makes …
HERMIONE: Eleven. (in a very surprised voice) You know, I think you were right.
SEVERUS: I can well imagine your surprise, Miss Granger. I'm dumbfounded myself – in what, exactly, was I right?
HERMIONE: You're right that not everyone who … collaborated in some way was completely evil. Rosmerta was forced. Even if the consequences of what she did were terrible, it wasn't really her fault – or her choice. But somehow, one tends to forget that. When we heard what had really happened to Katie, we just said "It was Rosmerta, then – she did it!" Only, she didn't. Not really. And in the Ministry, there were people who hated what they were doing, but who were afraid for their families, or … Perhaps we should give a voice to someone whose trial isn't finished yet.
SEVERUS: Since such a person would be innocent until proven guilty? Quite. Better make it someone whose trial hasn't started yet – you can't write about someone whose case is sub judice. That's why I thought that …
HERMIONE: Yes, Professor?
SEVERUS: Narcissa Malfoy. She most certainly isn't an angel – but you'll find she isn't a devil, either.
HERMIONE: Narcissa Malfoy! That's an interesting thought! Yes, Professor, I think that may be a very good idea. I'll try to contact her. You've really been most helpful.
(Hermione makes a note on her clipboard, gets up, and quickly walks towards the door. Half-way she turns around.)
HERMIONE: Could I … That is, would you mind proofreading the first stories? If it's not too much work? I'd like your opinion on them. (Slightly surprised, and almost as an afterthought) I'd really like that.
SEVERUS: Miss Granger, It'll be my pleasure. I'll look forward to it. And it's not too much at all; after all, life here is a bit …
(Hermione's eyes circle the impeccably neat sick room). Boring?
SEVERUS: Very.
HERMIONE: I'll bring the first one tomorrow, Professor.
(They smile at each other. Exit Hermione)
*~*~*~*~*~*
Severus didn't recall their next meetings verbatim, much as he enjoyed them. To his surprise, he found himself rather busy. There were the background stories to proofread. Hermione - Miss Granger, that was, although he found it more and more difficult to think of her as Miss Granger, was very much on top of her subject. He had few comments to make, and most of them were complimentary.
And he spent quite a bit of time on finding the right way to comment. He had reached automatically for his marking quill. Then he reconsidered. There were two disadvantages. Scribbling red notes in the margin of a student's essay might be read as a sign that he was getting back to his old self. Which he wasn't, of course.
And there was a second problem. Herm- Miss Granger might see his red ink comments as professorial criticism, which wasn't his intention. He didn't want to discourage her from seeking his opinion on the rest of her work. They had worked together almost like colleagues. He just had to be careful, not only in calling her Miss Granger, but in calling his colleagues Professor, rather than by their given names. But his was a case of "Once Bitten, Twice Spy", and it took more than a young thing to unsettle Severus Snape, Double Agent.
So he commented in green ink, since a contrasting colour was practical, and it was Slytherin enough to avoid the suspicion that he was going soft in his convalescence.
And then there was Professor Carmichael. She had accepted the invitation to Hogwarts. To his surprise, she had visited him as well. After some small talk that elevated procrastination to a form of art, she had made him an offer. An offer that left him thinking long and hard.
It was what some would call an offer you couldn't refuse. Which showed they had no idea what they were talking about. Severus knew what an unrefusable offer was – and what accepting it, if that was the word, did to your soul.
He had spent several hours listing the pros and cons of Professor Carmichael's idea and had finally decided that it was viable. And, in due time, it might even turn out to be … not unpleasant.
Yes, he had been quite busy.
A/N Next week the final chapter - but there are more stories to follow.