Even before I start this, I can already tell that this'll be the hardest chapter I've written yet. I have to write fairly lengthy scenes involving all four matches, and I have to do it in a way that's detailed, entertaining and believable to the reader while making sure the characters act the way they should. With any luck, this'll be a very enjoyable chapter for all of you. If I fail, than I'll commit seppuku in order to retain my honor.
Oh, and I wish to express my absolute joy in the fact that the Endless Eight is finally over! YYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!
As enjoys, hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 19
I remember telling myself earlier this week that if tried to expect the worst that I'd be much more mentally prepared for what came my way this week. I should have told myself that I'm an idiot. Seriously, this week was way worse than I had imagined.
First off, there was the digging. It turned out that creating a ring ten meters across was a much taller order than we originally thought it would be. The sheer amount of dirt that Koizumi and I had to dig up just for it to be enough was insane…INSANE!! Haruhi basically brought us to the grassy hill near Tsuruya-san's house and told us to start digging. Only this time, we were digging for the dirt itself rather than buried treasure. This made the digging feel even more like work than before. Tsuruya-san was nice enough to provide a truck driven by one of her servants that would dump the dirt near some unspecified location near the school. It took us a good five hours of straight digging to gather enough dirt for the job. That wasn't enough, of course, because we also had to remove any grass, roots, rocks, worm, bugs and trash that we could find in the dirt, which was an impossible task. When we were finally done gathering all the dirt, it took most of Wednesday and Thursday to do.
And that wasn't all. When I got home after doing that, I had chores to do as well, which included cleaning both the garage and the attic. Both places had a ton of stuff that obviously wasn't needed by anyone, so I had to sort through all of it and bring it outside to be thrown away. I also had to sweep and dust both places and do it quickly. This was basically because Oruki ordered that I didn't get to eat until I finished the chores, which had to count as cruel and inhumane. Smelling that delicious cooking while trying to clean out the garage was torture. Damn you, Oruki! If there was any plus side, it was that there was a lot of stuff in there that belonged to Haruhi when she was young, including some old pacifiers, baby bottles, pajamas and even a baby blanket that obviously had been chewed on when it was being used. I'm so going to tease her about that later.
Meanwhile, while I was slaving away, Haruhi, Nagato, Tsuruya-san and Asahina-san were busy undergoing a massive underground marketing campaign to make sure as many people as possible showed up to the contest. Haruhi swiftly had flyers printed up (care of the school's printers) and got herself and Asahina-san dressed up as bunny girls once again. They were sure to stand outside of the school grounds while they handed out flyers to all the students who were leaving the school. There was also a massive word of mouth campaign as well, which was taken care of by Tsuruya-san. She pretty much talked to every person she possibly could, her outgoing personality obviously making it easy for her to get the word out. Nagato used her incredible computer skills to obtain a large number of the students' e-mail addresses and sent every one of them an e-mail advertisement of the contest. Overall, it was an incredibly impressive marketing campaign done all in the time span of two days by a mere four high school girls all while having to worry about the other aspects of the preparation for the mud wresting tournament. If this didn't draw in a lot of people, I don't know what would.
In any case, it was now Friday, the day of the tournament. There wasn't anything left to do except wait for the right time to create the ring and set up all the things we needed. I still wasn't sure if we could pull this off. Even if we managed to bring in a massive crowd of people, how we would pull this off without the school itself interfering was beyond me. Just the thought of cleaning up our mess seemed like a nightmare. To be honest, it seemed highly unlikely that this was going to go off without a hitch. That would be a good thing in my mind, since I really didn't want to battle Koizumi in this contest. Just the thought of it made my skin crawl. Not only that, but Haruhi would have to cancel her plans to go to Kyoto, and we'd all be spared the enormous embarrassment that would likely happen should Haruhi confront that old geezer.
At this point, I was still comfortably asleep in my bed, completely tuned out to the world. I would have happily stayed this way as long as I possibly could, but as always, a certain diabolical girl had decided I didn't deserve to be well rested. I soon felt something pushing onto my forehead. Before I knew it, I felt the muscles in my forehead cramp up and twitch. It was incredibly painful. I instinctively slapped my forehead to rid myself of whatever was hurting me. I felt nothing there. Still mostly within the depths of my subconscious, I simply tried to fall back to sleep. I then felt something push into my neck. Once again, the muscles twitched involuntarily once again. This time it hurt really badly, as the skin around the neck is really sensitive. I was now awake, reaching for whatever was hurting me. I failed to grab it, but I was able to barely touch it. It was metal and tube-like. Unfortunately, there was no way I could tell what it was without looking. Just as I was about to open my eyes and look, I felt it poke my cheek, causing the annoying pain to serge through there, too. Frustrated and annoyed, I finally opened my eyes and sat up.
To my complete lack of surprise, Haruhi was standing next to my bed, her face displaying a twisted expression of pleasure. What did surprise me was the fact that she was holding onto a pen, and she was pointing the side with the button at me.
"I think we have a winner," she said as she prepared to poke me with it again. This time she got my forearm, once again sending the area in my arm into a frenzy of twitching pain. It was at this point that I finally figured out what the hell was up with the pen. It was one of those fake pens used to trick people by electrocuting them when they pushed the button down. Haruhi's use for it definitely wasn't what it was intended for, but it was obviously getting the job done.
"This one doesn't have any of the downsides of the other methods."
It didn't take a lot of thinking to figure out what she was talking about. For the nearly three weeks that I had been living with Haruhi, I was woken up in some incredibly painful or annoying way. Most of time, Haruhi would settle for beating the crap out of me or dragging me out of the bed, but these method were exhausting and required too much effort. To overcome this Haruhi tried some other methods, including a feather, an air horn, a bucket of cold water, and even a habanero pepper. Unfortunately, all these methods had downsides. The feather didn't work at all; the air horn woke her parents up too; the water got everything soaked; and the pepper…well I'll never forget when she burned her eye because her fingers still had pepper juice on them. However, this trick pen had none of the drawbacks of those other methods. It was clearly a weapon far too powerful to be allowed to be kept in the hands of Haruhi. I had to get it away from her!
I immediately tried to grab the pen. Haruhi was quick to react to my attempt and moved out of the way. I fell onto my face thanks to my failure. I pushed myself up and tried again to grab it, but I missed once again.
Haruhi cackled in delight at my growing aggravation. She held out the pen close to my face. "Do you want it, Kyon? Here, take it!"
I once again tried to reach for it, but Haruhi was too quick. I was punished for my pathetic attempt by being poked by the pen right on my forehead once again.
"Ow, cut it out!" To relieve the shocking pain, I pulled my head back and swiped at the pen. The fact that I kept missing it was really starting to get exasperating.
"You're way too slow, Kyon! You're making this easy!"
I finally got up on my feet to give chase. "I'll get that thing from you even if it kills me!"
Haruhi obliged by taking off out of my room and down the stairs, giggling like a young child who was playing a retarded game of keep away. I followed her in hot pursuit, determined to snag the offending object from her once and for all. Unfortunately, Haruhi's speed gave her a definite edge, so I knew I'd have to find a way to corner her.
She eventually ran into the living room, which at first seemed like a bad idea. Unfortunately, she used the coffee table as a barrier between us. If I tried to move left or right, so did she, making it impossible to actually catch her unless I jumped over the table. I tried to do so, but my foot got caught on the edge of it, causing me to trip. I once again fell on my face, causing the rug to scrape me up a bit. Haruhi immediately ran out of the living room, stopping briefly to turn around, pull her lower eyelid down and stick her tongue at me.
You're so going to get it, Haruhi! I swear it!
I got back up and continued my pursuit, following her into the kitchen. To my surprise, however, she had stopped running and was staring at something. It was only when I entered the kitchen that I too figured out what she was staring at. At the table, Naru-san had her head down, completely sound asleep. She even had a noticeable amount of drool coming down her mouth. It took me a second to realize what had happened. I had almost forgotten that Naru-san had a sleepwalking problem, and would occasionally get up in her sleep to walk around. I would never forget the night where she fell asleep next to me…twice.
"Are you going to poke her with your pen, too?" I asked, obviously joking.
Haruhi returned a scowl when I said that. "Idiot! I would never want to hurt my mom!"
And yet you're more than willing to hurt me…the guy you supposedly like. Am I missing something here?
Haruhi walked up to her mother and shook her shoulder. "Mom, wake up."
After snorting a couple of times, Naru-san slowly raised her head and looked around, obviously a bit disoriented. Once she regained her bearings, she yawned deeply and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Not again…"
It was at this point that I realized that Haruhi was now completely distracted by her mother. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I slowly snuck up on her. Just as I was in range, I quickly grabbed at the pen. Got it! Without pausing for a second, I bolted out of the kitchen with my prize in hand.
"You bastard! Give it back!" screamed Haruhi as she instantly took off after me.
I knew she was hot on my heels, but I had hoped that I would be able to stay ahead of her long enough to open the pen and remove the battery, rendering the damn thing useless. Unfortunately, I was unable to outrun Haruhi, and she soon grabbed a hold of my shirt and pulled me back. She then jumped onto my back and wrapped her arms around my neck. My legs were not prepared for the extra weight, and I soon fell onto the ground. The impact of my chest colliding with the wood floor forced me to accidentally drop the pen. It bounced about a meter before rolling away from us. Haruhi tried to make a grab for it, but it went just outside of her reach and rolled right into someone's foot. That someone was, to my dismay, none other than Oruki.
"What the hell is wrong with you two?! Is it too much to ask that you two don't cause a racket first thing in the morning?!" He then bent down to pick up the pen. "Please do not tell me that you two were fighting over this!"
"Kyon was trying to steal it from me!" yelled Haruhi, who by the way was still on my back. Get off me, dammit!
Oruki looked over the pen, looking completely baffled. "Why in god's name would he want to steal this thing?"
It was then that Haruhi had a devilish idea. "Click the button to find out."
The moment she said this, I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing. I looked up at him to watch as he continued to study the pen, trying to figure out why we were fighting over it. I then watched with glee as he raised his thumb to go and push down the button. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it! Do it! Do it! He did it!
Oruki immediately yelped in pain and dropped the trick pen onto the floor. As soon as we saw that, Haruhi and I began to laugh hysterically. Haruhi then grabbed the pen off the floor and got up off of me, still laughing. After a few more seconds, we finally stopped.
"That was awesome," said Haruhi, still grinning from ear to ear.
To no one's surprise, Oruki did not take being the brunt of a practical joke very well, his eye twitching in obvious rage. "Oh, you think that's funny, huh?" I could see a blood vessel on his forehead begin to bulge while he held out his hand. He had a surprising sadistic grin on his face while he slowly walked towards his daughter. "Give it to me."
Haruhi held the pen close to her body as she turned away from him. "No way! It's mine!"
As Oruki slowly moved closer to her, I saw my chance at some revenge. I got up and snuck behind Haruhi. I then grabbed her wrists, trying to hold her in place.
"I got her! Grab it!" I yelled as I struggled with Haruhi.
Haruhi looked up at me with a vicious resentment. "You traitorous bastard! Let go of your Brigade Chief this instant if you don't want to suffer consequences so great that even your ancestors and descendants will suffer from it!"
"Nah," I said, finding this opportunity way too much to pass up. I'm sure whatever she had in store for me, it was worth it. It took everything in my power to hold her in place, though. She's incredibly strong for a girl, and I began to wonder how the hell her relatively small frame could contain so much strength.
Oruki soon grabbed Haruhi's hand and ripped the pen right out of her grip. He then pointed it straight at his daughter and slowly moved it towards her.
"No! Don't!" Haruhi yelled as she fought even harder to escape my grip. I gritted my teeth hard as I held onto her for dear life. Haruhi began kicking, trying to keep her father at bay. She even stomped my foot a few times to get me to let go. I had my eyes shut as I struggled with all my might to ignore the pain and keep her from getting away.
I should have listened to Haruhi, though. When Oruki drove the pen forward, it turned out he was aiming for me rather than his daughter. I soon felt the wonderful sensation of electricity coursing through my neck once again. I immediately let go of Haruhi and backed away, rubbing my neck.
"Ow! What the hell?! Why'd you jab me for?!"
Oruki had a good solid laugh at my expense for about a minute before he answered. "Because hurting you is way funnier than hurting my daughter, that's why!"
Haruhi also had a quick laugh. "Serves you right, Kyon! And don't think I'm going to forget what you did, either!" She then turned back to her father and held out her hand. "Can I have it back?"
"Hell no," said Oruki as he held the pen away from her. "This thing's mine now. That's what you get for waking me up and tricking me." He then turned around and began to walk away.
Haruhi then slowly turned around to face me, giving me a horrible death glare. I backed up a few paces, growing increasingly afraid of what she was planning to do to me.
"Uh…heh…you know…I did get electrocuted five times this morning. Maybe that's enough to make things even, don't you think?"
I don't even know why I tried. Moments later, Haruhi took a deep breath before announcing a penalty so harsh, cruel and downright evil that I figured that I would regret having to experience it for the rest of my life.
I'll get to that later, though…
It was about an hour later, and Haruhi and I were now dressed and ready for school. We were just sitting down to eat breakfast when Haruhi herself made the announcement to her parents about our plans today.
"Mom, dad, we're not going to be home until rather late tonight because our club is doing some fundraising after school."
Oruki immediately put his paper down and looked at the both of us suspiciously. "Fundraising? What kind of fundraising?"
I was worried about this question, but Haruhi seemed completely prepared for it. "We're doing a raffle."
"And why do you need to do a fundraiser?"
Up to this point, Haruhi had yet to tell her parents about this insane trip to Kyoto, so I guess now was as good a time as ever to spill the beans.
"Our club is going to Kyoto next week for the entire weekend!" said Haruhi excitedly.
"Ooo, that sounds like a ton of fun!" exclaimed Naru-san excitedly as she began to serve breakfast.
Oruki was considerably less excited. "And you decided to wait until now to tell us about this, why?"
"I had to make sure the whole club was able to come first," she said, an obvious lie.
Oruki stared Haruhi down for a few seconds before he looked at me. "Kyon? I need to talk to you down in the basement for a second. Man to man!"
My eyes widened in obvious nervousness as I cautiously followed him down into the basement. I was expecting him to beat the hell out of me for only waiting until now to tell him about what was actually a pretty big trip. When the two of us made it to the bottom of the basement, he immediately grabbed me by my shoulders. He had the look of desperation as he shook me back and forth.
"What the hell am I supposed to do?!"
"What do you mean?" I asked, a bit confused.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! This damn trip! What the hell is it all about?!"
I sort of told him the truth. "She wanted to bring the club to a convention to meet this guy called James Randi."
"Why?" asked Oruki, obviously determined to get to the bottom of what we were up to.
This time I had to lie. "She's kind of a really big fan of his. She really wanted to meet him."
Oruki let go of my shoulders and began to rub his temples. "Damn that girl…Telling us only a week in advance before going on a trip like this. She couldn't have told us about this sooner? And knowing what I know now, what else can I say except 'Sure Haruhi-chan, do whatever you want!' She can practically get away with murder! It's ridiculous!"
"What would you have said if you didn't know what you know?"
"I would have said no!" answered Oruki.
Well that's no good. On the other hand, I just realized that I had a huge advantage over Oruki. As long as he knew the truth about his daughter's powers, I could totally use that against him. I decided to make a mental note of this, knowing that he wouldn't dare actually do anything to me for fear that doing so would upset his daughter. "Uh…yeah, it doesn't look like you have much choice in the matter. You know what would happen if Haruhi got upset."
Oruki rubbed his face before giving me a sharp look. "I swear to god that if anything happens on this trip, I'm putting the blame squarely on you! Do you hear me?!"
"Loud and clear," I said as I made my way to the stairs. Just as I got to the bottom of them, Oruki stopped me with on last question.
"By the way, what's the prize for the raffle?"
I stopped in my track, completely caught off guard. If Haruhi were next to me, she probably could have answered him, but once again, Oruki singled me out to try and see if we were lying. I felt a drop of cold sweat roll down my forehead as I turned back to him and tried to come up with a sufficient lie.
"Uh…prize? Yeah…uh…"
Fortunately, the door to the basement opened up, revealing Naru-san. "Are you guys done talking? You're breakfast is getting cold!"
I even heard Haruhi yelling down to us as well. "Hurry up, Kyon! Or we'll be late for school!"
I turned back to Oruki and smiled. "I better eat up and get going." I then ran up the stairs and into the kitchen, successfully avoiding the question.
I knew he was very suspicious, but there was no way we could tell him that we were making money on a mud wrestling tournament. He'd probably have a stroke while he strangled the life out of me.
Actually, seeing Oruki having a stroke wouldn't be so bad. He deserved to have at least that happen to him. I liked him way more when he was depressed and aloof.
As much as I would have liked for school to fly by today, it didn't. Every lecture that came today was like an exercise in torture, mostly because I continued to anxiously await the events that would transpire after school. Truth be told, I had mixed feelings about the whole event. Sure, there was going to be a massive amount of eye candy, which was always nice, but I had to also wrestle Koizumi. This would have been okay, except…Haruhi made some changes thanks to what I did earlier this morning. What changes, you ask? I can't tell you. It's too embarrassing. You'll find out soon enough anyway.
The whole Brigade plus Tsuruya-san was now in the clubroom. Haruhi laid out the coordinated plans that would be put into action in less than an hour. Koizumi and I were to take a wheelbarrow and use it to transport all the dirt to a spot Haruhi designated earlier. At the same time, Asahina-san and Tsuruya-san would wet the dirt down with a hose to turn it into mud. Finally, Nagato and Haruhi would grab all the other items we'd need. We apparently had only an hour to do this task. This was because the time Haruhi set for the event to start was exactly one hour after the time that all the clubs were scheduled to end. She figured that most of the school officials would have gone home by then. I knew better, of course, so I asked Nagato to see to it that she used her powers to make sure that none of the school officials would be able to notice what was happening. Don't ask me how she was going to do it, but she told me she could, so that's all that matters.
The items that were going to be brought along that were needed for the event included the following: One stopwatch, one megaphone, one whistle, two tables, four chairs, one cooler filled with ice, several cases of soft drinks, a stack of tickets that were printed up by Haruhi, a box to store the money in, a few score cards for the judges to use to determine who they thought won a round, and finally a bag filled with…the stuff Haruhi was going to use for my penalty. I cringed at the very thought of it.
Haruhi turned on the computer one last time before we were to go out. She went a found a couple videos of both women and men who were mud wrestling.
"These videos should give all of you a good idea of what is to be expected of you when you have your match," said Haruhi. "So I'm showing them to you now so it's fresh in your minds when it's show time!"
The women in all of the videos had adopted rather…suggestive poses while they were busy wrestling each other. There was little doubt in anyone's mind that this was not really about the wrestling as much as it was the about objectification of women as sexual objects. This was okay with me, of course, as it gave me something nice to look at. The men in the videos were much more aggressive. There was actually a genuine effort by the guys to beat the crap out of each other. I tried to picture myself beating the crap out of Koizumi. That bastard had to go down. Tsuruya-san laughed at all videos we watched, obviously amused in the fact that we were expected to try and imitate what we were seeing. However, there was one person among us who wasn't comfortable about all this.
"D…do we really have to do that?" asked Asahina-san, her pale face growing increasingly red as she watched the videos.
Haruhi stood up and wrapped her arms around Asahina-san. "Of course, Mikuru-chan! That's the point of mud wrestling! We have to show off our sexiness to the crowd!"
"But it's too embarrassing!"
Haruhi squeezed Asahina-san hard. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed, Mikuru-chan! Just remember that a lot of your fans are going to be out there rooting for you! Don't disappoint them, okay?"
Asahina-san became even more unsure after hearing those words, so I decided to try my best to calm her down. "Don't worry, Asahina-san. We're all going to be out there humiliating ourselves, so you won't be alone."
"That's right," continued Haruhi. "All of us are making a sacrifice for the good of the Brigade. It'll all be worth it when we're up in Kyoto! Keep your eye on the prize!"
I looked at my watch. It was about fifteen minutes before we would have to start setting up. I looked outside one last time. This was going to be one hell of an afternoon.
It was time. We all had to work fast. As planned, Koizumi and I ran to collect the dirt we stockpiled, while Tsuruya-san and Asahina-san began to move the dirt around in a circle and wetting it down and turning it into mud. In the meantime, Haruhi and Nagato quickly brought out the tables, chairs and anything else we would need.
While we were working, I noticed Nagato briefly putting her hand up and chanting something briefly. I didn't notice anything different around us, but I could only assume that we were now safe from the watchful eyes of school administrators.
Moving an enormous amount of dirt was definitely less than fun, and since our time was so limited, we had to hustle our asses off to move it all. The spot that Haruhi picked out was in front of some bleachers that would undoubtedly be where the audience would sit. Luckily for me, Taniguchi and Kunikida arrived about half an hour early, so Haruhi made the both of them help me and Koizumi. Thanks to their extra help, everything worked out perfectly, and we were able to finish preparations a few minutes in advance so we would be able to get dressed into our swimwear just before the event would start. To my dismay, Haruhi insisted that Koizumi and I wore Speedos, and since I didn't have my own, I had to borrow one of Koizumi's. I reluctantly put them on, trying desperately not to think about where these came from. I also decided to keep my t-shirt on until it was time for me to face Koizumi. Walking around wearing only a Speedo would be way too embarrassing.
A cluster of people had already formed by the time I had gotten ready. Koizumi had taken a seat at the table off to the side, while Haruhi directed everyone to form a line in front of it. Taniguchi and Kunikida were already sitting at the "Judges Panel" which was nothing more than the table set to the side near the mud pit. I even noticed that Sakanaka-san had showed up and was making her way to the table she was designated to sit at. I decided to walk up to the judge's table to greet Sakanaka-san and chat it up with Taniguchi and Kunikida until the matches started.
When I came close to the table, I saw Taniguchi waving at me like an idiot. "Yo, Kyon! Are you ready or what?!"
I waited until I was up to the table to respond. "I don't think it's possible to be ready for something as crazy as this."
Taniguchi held his fist in front of him in pure, elated joy. "This is easily going to be the highlight of my entire life! It was totally worth having to help you guys out to do this!"
If you think that this'll be the highlight of you life, you must be setting your expectations on life pretty low.
"Seeing four hot girls wrestling in mud will definitely be a lot of fun to watch," said Kunikida. "I kinda wish I had a camcorder to record it."
"Don't worry," said Taniguchi. "I'm sure someone in the crowd will be recording all this. I'm definitely buying a copy if they sell it!"
Even though Haruhi specifically announced in both the flyers and e-mails that cameras and camcorders were not allowed, I couldn't help but agree that someone would probably manage to sneak one in. Her reasoning was that she didn't want there to be any evidence of what we were up to, and thus, preventing us from getting in trouble with the school.
I turned to Sakanaka-san and smiled. "Thanks for helping out. It's a bit embarrassing to be honest."
She smiled back politely, looking a bit embarrassed herself. "It's okay. I was happy to help out after what you guys did for JJ."
JJ, whose real name was Rousseau, was the little puppy that got infected with a data lifeform a couple months back. Thanks to Nagato, the little guy recovered quickly and was doing much better.
"How is he, by the way?" I asked.
"He's grown a bit, but he's still pretty small," answered Sakanaka-san happily. "He's still a handful, but I wouldn't have him any other way."
"That's good," I said as my eyes diverted towards the ever growing line of people. To my lack of surprise, the marketing campaign set out by the Brigade was a huge success. It made me wonder if the people living around here had any lives outside of school. How bored must they all be to spend 1500 (or even 2000) yen on this crap? I of course have no right to complain since I'm actually one of the people actively participating in this.
It was then that I noticed that there were a couple people marching up that didn't bother to get in line, one man and one woman. At first I was worried that they might have been school officials, but as they came closer I realized who they really were. I thought my heart actually leapt into my throat. No! Please tell me that it isn't them!
I bolted immediately towards them. In hindsight, I probably should have been running away, but I didn't really think my actions through. I was hoping I could explain away what was happening, but I was doomed to failure the moment they got here.
Oh, and in case you haven't figure it out, the two people I was referring to are Haruhi's parents. Yay…
I stopped when I was about ten meters away from them and held out my hands. "Okay, I know this looks bad, but let me explain!"
Oruki didn't even respond as he continued to march up to me like some brutish Ogre. I back away a bit as he came closer, but eventually he came close enough to grab me by my shirt collar and pull me close to him. Anger was an obvious understatement for his mood right now. "I knew it! I knew the both of you were lying to me! Raffle my ass! What the hell is going on here?!"
Okay, this was bad. Really, really bad. Oruki could easily ruin the whole night if I didn't think of something. Anything! I realized that perhaps telling the truth was a good idea. "It's a…mud wrestling contest." I said the last part weakly, almost expecting his fist to crash right into my cranium the moment I finished saying it.
Fortunately, Oruki decided to use a tiny bit of restraint for the moment and didn't beat me to a pulp. I'm guessing it's because we were out in public. Naru-san, being the type of person that she is, became immediately excited the moment she heard me say this.
"Ooo, this sounds like a whole bunch of fun!"
Oruki ignored his wife's comment and continued to threaten me. "You have two seconds to give me five good reasons not to have me shove my foot up your ass!"
"I'll give you one. Haruhi." That was all I needed to say. I had already figured out that using her as a bargaining chip against him was a surefire way to gain his cooperation. After all, even Oruki wasn't evil enough to want to accidentally destroy the universe because he upset his daughter.
Oruki's disposition froze the moment I mentioned her name. I could tell that he realized that he was powerless to do anything without upsetting his daughter enough to create a closed space. After a few moments, his anger reemerged, but this time it was combined with an obvious frustration over his inability to do anything. Even though on the outside I still looked pretty scared, in the back of my mind I was feeling pretty smug. I wondered how else I could use Haruhi against him. It was kinda fun seeing him squirm.
Naru-san grabbed onto Oruki's arm to get his attention. "Let's go get some tickets and watch!"
Oruki slowly turned his head to face his wife. "Are you out of your mind?!"
Naru-san began to pout when he asked that. "Aw, don't be so mean! We never go out and do anything fun! Besides, we'll be supporting their trip to Kyoto!"
Oruki motions his hand around the whole field. "You see this?! Do you see what Haruhi has done?! Our daughter is quickly becoming a delinquent, and you're okay with that?!"
"You're overreacting!" said Naru-san as she cutely tugged at his arm. "Don't be such a meanie! Let buy some tickets, please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?" She continued to say "Please?" repeatedly, trying desperately to get him to agree.
Oruki let go of me and put his hand to his face. I could tell that he was beginning to crack under Naru-san influence. Even though he was usually the dominate one in the relationship, I noticed that whenever his wife wanted something really, really badly, he had a hard time saying no. I was quickly reminded of the first day that I met the two of them when Naru-san's pleading was basically the reason I currently had a place to live.
As expected, Oruki eventually gave in. "Fine already! Just stop!" After Naru-san leapt up in joy and began to drag him towards the back of the line, he pointed a finger directly at me and began to yell. "I swear, Kyon-kun, that when this is over you're going to pay! I'm going to make you clean every inch of the house with a tooth brush! I'll make you wash the wax the car, too! And you'll put new shingles on the roof! And you'll have two hours to do all of it! No, one hour! And then you're…" By then he was too far away for me to hear him. I secretly hoped that he wasn't serious, but I knew better. I can't wait to get back already…
I turned towards the front of the line. Koizumi was still taking money from eager customers, but he gave knowing glances at me a few times. He obviously saw what just happened. I noticed that Haruhi was busy directing people to the proper seats, making sure no one that didn't pay the full price was sitting in the front. She apparently hadn't noticed that her parents had arrived. Good.
I approached Koizumi to ask him a favor. "Whatever you do, don't tell Haruhi her parents are here."
Koizumi gave me an annoying smile. "I take it they're staying to watch the show?"
"Look, I'm sure if Haruhi found out that her parents were here, she'd probably freak out."
"I understand," said Koizumi. "But how're you going to make it so she doesn't see them while they're seated."
"I'll take care of that," I said as I began to walk towards Haruhi.
As I got closer to Haruhi, she turned to me and scowled. "About time! What took you so long?!"
Apparently, Haruhi didn't notice that I'd been dressed for a while, so I took advantage of the situation and lied. "I…uh…was using the bathroom."
Haruhi began to point at the crowd. "Hurry up and take over for me! Make sure that only people who buy the marked tickets are allowed to sit in the front!"
Haruhi then walked away, leaving me with the job of directing people to their seats. I was relieved that distracting her was so easy. After a few minutes of checking people's tickets, I noticed Oruki and Naru-san walking up the steps in order to take their seats. Oruki gave me a nasty glare when he saw me, while Naru-san simply gave a friendly wave. There were enough people in the crowd now that they blended into it, making it unlikely that Haruhi would spot them accidentally. The funny thing was that they were probably the only people here that weren't students from our school. I figured that this must've made Oruki feel incredibly awkward. Good. I want him to suffer. Even if it backfires onto me, seeing that man uncomfortable makes me feel a little better inside.
Soon afterwards, all the people that had arrived were seated, and the show was about to begin…
Okay, so now that the event has officially started, I guess it's only proper that I describe what everyone was wearing. Haruhi was wearing her two piece bikini that had multi-colored hearts on it. Asahina-san and Nagato were both wearing one-piece suits, pink with red polka-dots and plain white respectively. Tsuruya-san had a bikini with black and yellow horizontal stripes. Koizumi and I had black and blue Speedos, respectively.
It should also be noted that Asahina-san had her hair tied into two, adorable ponytails, while Tsuruya-san had her hair in a large bun. I assumed that she did that so that no one would try and pull on her ridiculously long hair. Not only that, but getting it all muddy would probably make it really hard to clean, too. Haruhi also decided to remove her hair band for the competition, likely to prevent the mud from ruining it. It's relatively rare that I see Haruhi without it on, even in the mornings, as she usually has it on before she wakes me up. I was conflicted with her not wearing it. She looked cute as hell without it, but she'd worn it for so long that it felt weird when she's not wearing it.
Haruhi went and grabbed the megaphone and prepared to address the crowd. "Welcome to the First Annual SOS Brigade Stupendous Spring-time Mud Wrestling Tournament!"
It better be the last annual, too, or I'll have to shoot myself.
"We want to thank you all for coming here on such short notice! We didn't have a lot of time to put this together, but it still looks like the turn-outs been incredible! We all hope you enjoy yourselves out there! Now let me introduce everyone that's competing!"
She then goes and introduces every one of us, including herself. The cheers were huge when Asahina-san was introduced and pretty large for Tsuruya-san as well. Nagato had a small but very vocal group of guys cheer for her. Koizumi had a loud group of girls cheering for him when he was introduced, which came with little surprise. How could a guy so popular with the girls stay single, anyway? To my dismay, I was introduced by my stupid nickname again. I swear that more people knew my nickname than they knew my real one. Not only that, but I probably got the fewest amount of cheers, too. Dammit, why am I the unpopular one? Hell, even Haruhi got more cheers than I did. Way more, in fact. This perplexed me a bit, as I was certain that no one in their right mind would want Haruhi given her reputation. Maybe those who cheered were half-insane, too. Or more likely, they were just a bunch of first year students who weren't aware of Haruhi's reputation yet. Yeah…that had to be it. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but feel surprisingly pissed at all the people cheering for her. I couldn't understand why, though.
Haruhi also explained the rules of the tournament and then introduced the judges. When introducing Taniguchi and Kunikida, Haruhi displayed zero enthusiasm. Despite this, both of them were happy to clap and put their fists in the air in excitement. Sakanaka-san merely waved shyly to the crowd, obviously not used to the attention. After that, Haruhi went and announced that first match up of the afternoon.
"For our first match, we have Mikuru Asahina vs. Yuki Nagato!"
After hearing all the clapping and cheering (Taniguchi was probably cheering louder than anyone, standing up and swinging his arm around like an idiot), Nagato and Asahina-san took their places on the opposite sides of the ring. I got as close to Nagato as I could to ask her a favor.
"Uh…Nagato. Try to go easy on her, okay?"
Nagato simply looked directly at me and gave a subtle nod. Confident that she wasn't going to accidentally murder Asahina-san, I walked back to the side opposite of the side the crowd was on. When the both of them were ready, Haruhi got the stopwatch and whistle ready.
"Ready! Set! GO!" yelled Haruhi as she blew on the whistle.
Nagato simply stood there, not moving a muscle, and Asahina-san was also reluctant to do anything. Instead, she just shivered and whimpered in fear. She took a few steps towards Nagato, but her unwillingness increased with every step his took. Eventually, she made it to the middle of the pit before she stopped, too fearful to go any further.
It was a really slow and boring start to the contest, and I could tell that Haruhi and the crowd were growing impatient.
"Come on, Mikuru-chan! Do something! Go over there and kick her butt!"
Even though I knew Asahina-san had zero chance of victory, I decided to throw a few words of encouragement as well. "You can do it, Asahina-san! Just do your best!"
"Go for it, Mikuru-chan!" yelled Tsuruya-san with her fist in the air.
After looking at us, Asahina-san swallowed hard and looked back at Nagato. She then put on her most determined face, put her arms out in front of her and charged forward. She closed her eyes and turned her head away, making it obvious that this was a pretty pathetic first attack. Since she wasn't actually looking at her opponent, it was obviously doomed to failure.
Nagato merely stepped aside and put her foot out. This caused Asahina-san to trip over it and land face first into the mud near the edge of the ring. I could only watch in pity as Asahina-san slowly lifted herself up, pouting in embarrassment. Tsuruya-san laughed hysterically at her failure, along with several people in the crowd.
"Get up, Mikuru-chan!" yelled Haruhi. "Don't let her embarrass you like that!"
Asahina-san tried to wipe some of the mud off her face with her arm before getting up. She was standing next to Nagato this time, making her appear very uncomfortable. She slowly circled around her, as if trying to look for some kind of opening. Nagato never moved, instead just standing there like some kind of statue. Eventually, Asahina-san reached out and grabbed Nagato by the arm and began to pull. She obviously pulled with all her might, but Nagato didn't so much as budge.
"Why…won't…you…move!" cried Asahina-san as she repeatedly tried to tug and pull Nagato but to no avail. It was as if Nagato was bolted to the ground somehow. I knew that Asahina-san was pretty weak compared to the other girls, but Nagato was really making her look feeble.
"Come on, Nagato!" I yelled. "I know I asked you not to go all out on her, but you could at least do something!"
Nagato looked at me directly for a few seconds before staring straight ahead again. She then began to tilt and fall back in the direction Asahina-san was pulling her. Asahina-san was obviously not ready for this, and soon Nagato landed directly on top of her, causing her to fall onto her back as well.
I facepalmed when I saw this, as it looked rather ridiculous. I was hoping that the match-up between these two wouldn't be so absurd, but I was wrong. Nagato now lay on top of Asahina-san, who was now flailing around helplessly trying to get Nagato off.
"Come on, Yuki! Don't just lay there! Do something!" yelled Haruhi. "You watched the videos earlier! Just do what they did!"
Nagato stared at Haruhi for a few seconds before she got up and straddled Asahina-san. She then placed her hands directly onto Asahina-san's chest, squeezing firmly.
It took a second for Asahina-san to register what Nagato was doing, but when she did she immediately screamed. She flailed about even harder in a desperate struggle to get Nagato off of her.
"Let go! Let go! That hurts! This is embarrassing!"
I now had both of my hands covering my face while shaking my head. Asahina-san's humiliation was so great that even I could feel it. Haruhi and Tsuruya-san laughed upon seeing what Nagato was doing. Taniguchi and Kunikida hooted and hollered while Sakanaka-san covered her mouth in shock. Finally, I looked into the crowd, trying to spot Oruki and Naru-san. When I spotted them, I saw that Oruki had also facepalmed, and Naru-san appeared to be giggling. Oruki is so going to kill me when this is over. I wasn't even sure if the threat of universal destruction would prevent my untimely demise.
Eventually, Nagato released Asahina-san's breasts and grabbed her ankle instead. She then began dragging Asahina-san around the ring. Asahina-san tried frantically to escape Nagato's clutches while screaming away, but it was a futile attempt. No doubt that Nagato's grip was perfect. This continued for about another minute before she finally let go and stood there, looking down at Asahina-san.
Poor Asahina-san. She looked completely miserable and exhausted. She was on the verge of tears as she spoke. "I…I…I don't wanna do this anymore!"
"You can't give up, Mikuru-chan!" yelled Haruhi like she was some kind of coach. "Get back into the battle and give it your all. Attack now while she's not expecting it."
I'm pretty sure Nagato was ready for anything she could throw at her, especially since she could hear everything Haruhi was saying.
Asahina-san tried to wipe her face again, but it was pointless to do so as her whole body was now completely covered in mud. She looked up at Nagato, who was still standing there motionlessly. She eyed her opponent's body from head to toe, hoping to find some sort of weakness. Eventually, she seemed to settle for the legs and latched onto them.
"That a girl, Mikuru-chan!" screamed Haruhi. "Take out her legs and make her fall on her face!"
Asahina-san once again began to tug away at Nagato's legs, using all the strength she still had left in her body. She tried to pull from various directions, but it was as useless as her attempt to pull on her arm. I wasn't sure if Nagato was using her powers to keep herself anchored to the ground or what. Even if she wasn't I somehow doubted that the outcome of this match would be any different.
Eventually, Asahina-san gave up pulling, looking too tired out to try anymore. "No fair! She won't move!"
Nagato took this opportunity to counter by grabbing Asahina-san by her arm and the back of her swimsuit. She then lifted Asahina-san up to her shoulders effortlessly. Asahina-san screamed and thrashed about more than ever, obviously incredibly uncomfortable with being up in the air. At first, it looked like Nagato was going to throw Asahina-san, which I knew could be dangerous even if she was going to land on mud.
"Careful, Nagato!" I yelled, showing my concern.
Nagato turned her head towards me and stared for a few seconds. She then turned her head forward again and bent down, gently dropping Asahina-san onto her butt.
From this point onward, the remainder of the match consisted of Nagato dragging Asahina-san like a rag-doll, while Asahina-san helplessly flopped about desperately. Given Asahina-san's lack of athletic talent, and Nagato…well…being Nagato, the match ended up being every bit as bizarre and one-sided as I expected. I looked at the crowd for their reaction. While some of them were cheering, it was clear that they as a whole were a little disappointed with the outcome of the match.
Finally, Haruhi blew the whistle, officially ending the match. I was thankful that it ended when it did. My heart went out to Asahina-san. She had become a worn-out, dejected mess by the end of it. I immediately ran into the ring where Asahina-san lay and attempted to pick her up.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Thank you, Kyon-kun," she responded as cheerfully as she could. She nervously looked at Haruhi, perhaps worried that she might get the wrong idea about what I was doing.
Haruhi looked at the both of us with obvious annoyance. "Hurry it up already! She's fine! She's been through worse!"
I ignored Haruhi's statement and help Asahina-san off the ring. Haruhi then went up to the judges to find out how they scored the match. After viewing the results, she then grabbed the megaphone and ran between where Nagato and Asahina-san were standing.
"The results of the match are in! And the winner by unanimous decision is…Yuki Nagato!"
Without a doubt. Seriously, you'd have to be blind to think that the results would be any different. The match went pretty much exactly how I expected it to, and I was glad it was over. It was rather embarrassing if you ask me.
The crowd reacted predictably. Since the vast majority of them were fans of Asahina-san, the wave of booing that came was painfully obvious. There were a few cheers mixed in, clearly from those who were fans of Nagato, but it overall it wasn't a popular ruling. I wondered if Taniguchi and Kunikida were going to get the crap kicked out of them after this event was over. Not that I'd really care if they did.
After that, Haruhi went and grabbed the hose nearby and gave both Nagato and Asahina-san a good hosing. Asahina-san screamed loudly and tried to cover herself while Nagato simply stood there and let the water wash her down. Pretty soon the mud was washed off the both of them, allowing them to be relatively clean.
Once that was done, the second match was now ready to start. This time Koizumi was given the honors of announcing the next match. He waited until Haruhi and Tsuruya-san were in their respective sides of the ring before he took the megaphone and made the announcement.
"For our second match, ladies and gentlemen, we have an awesome treat for you!" said Koizumi overdramatically, his arm movements way over-exaggerated. "For round two, we have the lovely Tsuruya-san versus…" He paused briefly for more dramatic effect. "…the incredibly, wonderful and beautiful leader of the SOS Brigade herself, Haruhi Suzumiya!"
You're such a kiss-ass, Koizumi. You know that? Be sure to clean off your nose when you're done.
After both girls were done waving to the crowd, they both turned to each other to get ready for their match. Without a doubt, this match would prove to be a very different beast than the last one. Haruhi was definitely the favorite to win, but I knew that Tsuruya-san was formidable herself. I would expect her to at least hold her own again Haruhi, which would give a much more exciting match than the last one.
Just as Koizumi was preparing to set the stopwatch, I could see that Haruhi was out for blood. Even after all her speeches about how these matches weren't meant to be serious, I knew that whenever it was her turn to wrestle that she would go all out. I just hoped that she didn't go too far and hurt anyone.
As soon as the whistle blew, Haruhi bolted directly as Tsuruya-san at full speed, obviously intent on tackling the green-haired sempai with full force. Unfortunately for her, she apparently underestimated the slipperiness of the mud she was running on. After only a couple steps, she slipped and fell directly on her face, causing her to slide all the way to Tsuruya-san's feet.
A second later, Tsuruya-san was laughing hysterically at Haruhi's clumsiness and so was a decent portion of the crowd.
"Oh my god! That was way too funny!" said Tsuruya-san as she continued to laugh away.
Haruhi lifted herself off the muddy ground, looking less than amused. Gritting her teeth, she immediately lunged for Tsuruya-san. Tsuruya-san saw this coming just in time, and evaded her grasp. She circled around Haruhi and tried to put some distance between herself and the Brigade leader. Haruhi picked herself up off the ground and glared at Tsuruya-san intensely.
"You think that was funny, huh? I'll show you!"
She then bolted directly at Tsuruya-san again. This turned out to be a mistake once again, as Tsuruya-san countered by grabbing Haruhi by her arms, rolling back and kicking her leg out. The result of this was that Haruhi forward momentum caused her to fly forward a good couple meters before crashing into the mud again. Even I couldn't contain myself from laughing this time, secretly believing that this was an act of Karma working against her.
Tsuruya-san was quickly to laugh again at the Brigade Chief. "You're making this megas easy, Haruhi-nyan!"
It was easy to see that Haruhi's embarrassment and frustration were extremely high. She evidently underestimated her opponent, who was playing defensively rather than going up against her toe to toe. She punched the muddy ground before getting back up. She turned towards Tsuruya-san again, but this time she seemed to have given up on the charge and tackle technique. She was now a lot more cautious in her approach, moving slowly and deliberately towards her quarry.
Tsuruya-san also began to guardedly move in towards Haruhi, that cute fang of hers displaying visibly with her expression of delight. It was clear that Tsuruya-san was having a blast toying around with Haruhi. They began to circle around each other, looking for an opening. Haruhi was the first to try and make a move, reaching out to try and grab her opponent. Tsuruya-san dodged her attempt to grab her just in time.
"Coward! Stop avoiding me!" yelled Haruhi, no longer able to hide her growing anger. "I swear when I get my hands on you, I'll unleash suffering so great that even the gods will tremble in fear!"
Tsuruya-san giggled playfully as she continued her game plan since it was working so obviously well. She stuck her tongue out at Haruhi to mock her some more, provoking Haruhi to try and grab her again. This time, Haruhi slipped a little bit. Not enough to make her fall, but enough for Tsuruya-san to take advantage of the moment.
Tsuruya-san's counter took me by total surprise. She got behind Haruhi, put her arms under Haruhi's arms and…grabbed her breasts…
Haruhi's eyes bugged out immediately from the unexpected and unwelcomed contact. Her face became a noticeable shade redder as well. I could see the crowd react positively to Tsuruya-san's actions, as this was clearly what a lot of them came to see. When I looked to where Oruki and Naru-san were, I could see that he now had both hands covering his face in humiliation, while Naru-san was laughing.
Tsuruya-san leaned into Haruhi's ear and spoke coyly. "You know, even if they're not as big as Mikuru-chan's, your rack is still awesome, nyoro~."
Even though I knew I shouldn't, I could help but really enjoy seeing what Tsuruya-san was doing. I think it partially had to do with the fact that Haruhi was finally getting a taste of her own medicine. It not so much fun when your breasts are grabbed without permission, is it Haruhi?
Haruhi's embarrassment was short lived as her expression quickly turned to rage. Just as she tried to grab Tsuruya-san's hands, Tsuruya-san quickly let go and bolted away. Haruhi gave chase, trying desperately to get revenge on the green-haired girl, but her inability to effectively run in the slippery mud made this very difficult. No matter how hard she tried, Tsuruya-san was just a few steps ahead of her. This only made Haruhi even more frustrated.
I went and looked at Koizumi and noticed that he had a look of great concern on his face. Asahina-san did, too. It was then that I realized that this situation was actually potentially disastrous. The more upset Haruhi got, the more likely a closed space would be formed. At the rate the match was going on at, Haruhi would eventually reach the breaking point. I had to say something to calm her down.
"Calm down, Haruhi!" I yelled. "You're losing right now because you're not using your head! She's clearly trying to get you off your game!"
Haruhi stopped running and looked directly at me. Her face was expressionless for a few moments while she caught her breath. Eventually, her appearance changed to annoyance as she turned away from me.
"Shut up, Kyon! I don't need your stupid advice!" Haruhi then look another deep breath. Despite what she said, I did notice that she appeared to have calmed down a bit.
Tsuruya-san appeared intent on trying to annoy and frustrate Haruhi once again. "Come on, Haruhi-nyan! Don't tells me you give up! That'd be like totally boring!" She even pulled her mouth apart and stuck out her tongue.
Appearing to forget all about what I had said before, Haruhi bolted right at Tsuruya-san head on once again. And like a Spanish bull fighter, Tsuruya-san avoided her charge once more. Haruhi then immediately fell onto her side once more. I would have said that she slipped again, but it didn't look like she did. It almost looked like she fell…on purpose.
"Ow!" screamed Haruhi as she got up and held into her shoulder. She winced when she began to rub it.
Out of concern, Tsuruya-san ran up to Haruhi to see if she was alright. "Oh my gosh! Are you, like, alright and stuff?!" She took a closer look at Haruhi's shoulder to see if it was seriously injured.
It was then that Haruhi went and grabbed Tsuruya-san by her wrist. Her face grew a devilish grin of pure satisfaction. "Got you!"
Tsuruya-san's appearance changed immediately into a nervous smile the moment she realized what was happening. "Uh oh…"
Before she could say anything else, Haruhi unleashed the full extent of her strength and literally flipped her green haired opponent right over her shoulder. Her body slammed right onto her back, causing a bunch of mud to splatter around her. Some of it landed on my face, causing me to flinch. As I took a second to wipe the mud off my face, I had to admit to myself that the move Haruhi did was rather crafty. I suspected as much when I saw her fall. It looked like it was faked. I could only guess that Tsuruya-san didn't get a good look at her fall and thought she hurt herself for real. Either way, it seems that Haruhi's had the upper hand now.
Haruhi quickly got on top of Tsuruya-san and straddled her. I could se her anger start to rise up, making her grin look really, really scary. "You've got a lot of nerve touching my chest! I show you the price you'll have to pay when you violate the Brigade Chief in such a manner!" She then began to fondle her victim's breast in an obvious attempt at revenge.
Tsuruya-san, to my surprise, squealed in delight as she tried desperately to fight off Haruhi's attempts to molest her. As hard as she could she continued to fend off the Brigade Chief's unwanted advances. It should be noted that the crowd was absolutely loving all of this as well as two of the three judges (you have three guesses as to who and the first two don't count). I looked back up to where Oruki and Naru-san were sitting to find that Oruki was probably the only person in the stands not cheering. Even his wife was now into the action, bouncing up and down excitedly. Sometimes I wondered if Naru-san remembers that she's supposed to be Haruhi's mother…
Seeing as her defense against Haruhi's perverted groping hands had been ineffective, Tsuruya-san tried a different tactic. She grabbed a handful of mud and then squished it into Haruhi's face. She continued to twist it into her face, pushing as hard as she could.
"Eat it! Eat it! How's it?! Is it yummy?!"
Haruhi smacked her hand away and began to spit and cough. She rubbed off the excess mud off her face and stuck out her tongue in a grimace, a clear indication that the mud was not "yummy." She then looked evilly at Tsuruya-san and picked up her own handful of mud to mash into her face.
"Here! Have some yourself and find out!" She then pushed the mud right into her opponent, making sure to cover every bit of her face. Tsuruya-san tried to turn her face away, but it didn't do any good. By the time Haruhi pulled her hand away, her face had a large amount of mud as well. She spit the mud out as best she could and grimaced as well. I'll have to make a note to myself not to taste the mud.
Satisfied with what she'd done, Haruhi got off of Tsuruya-san. She was careful to still hold onto her opponent as she helped her up as well. She didn't do this to be nice, however, for as soon as Tsuruya-san was on her feet, Haruhi went and put her arm in between her legs and attempted to pick her up. In a startling display of her impressive power, she actually managed to lift the green haired girl off the ground before she slammed her back down. Tsuruya-san squealed and screamed in excitement as this all happened, obviously having fun even though she was getting her butt kicked now.
For the next couple minutes, Haruhi was in complete control of the match, tossing Tsuruya-san around like a helpless rag-doll. Tsuruya-san tried multiple times to get away, but Haruhi was careful to ensure that she was always within arms reach. She even went and gave Tsuruya-san a German suplex. I was worried that the move might hurt her, but she was fine. It did cause her hair bun to come loose, causing all of her long hair to spill out and become muddy.
Haruhi was about to pick her back up again, no doubt to continue her dominance over her, but she was caught off guard when Tsuruya-san decided to counter. Out of nowhere, she did a sweep kick, which thanks to the slippery mud made it easy to kick Haruhi's legs out from under her. Haruhi fell right onto her stomach, barely able to catch herself as she fell. Before she could get up, however, Tsuruya-san climbed up onto her and put her into a headlock.
"I gots you now, Haruhi-nyan! Now you're all mines!"
The headlock she had was very tight, and I could see that Haruhi was choking a bit. She began to struggle, lifting herself off the ground to do so. Eventually, she got herself onto her feet, but Tsuruya-san was still holding onto her for dear life, desperate to defeat her opponent.
Haruhi went and grabbed onto Tsuruya-san's arms. She pulled with all her might in an attempt to escape that headlock. To my utter amazement, I could see her slowly muscle her way out of it. As she pulled, Tsuruya-san's grip slowly loosened, until I could see it starting to break. The shock and amazement I felt could soon be seen on Tsuruya-san's face as well, completely at a loss for how Haruhi was doing this. Pretty soon, the gap between her neck and Tsuruya-san's arms was large enough that Haruhi could slip her head through. Once she did, she quickly turned around and grabbed Tsuruya-san by her waist and picked her up. She then slammed her down onto the mud again.
Now standing over her, Haruhi looked down at Tsuruya-san with complete and total confidence. "You'll have to do a lot better than that if you want to beat me!"
Tsuruya-san could only laugh as she looked up at Haruhi. "Oh man, I'm screwed." She then tried to get away again, but Haruhi got a hold of her hair before she could. "Ow, let go! That's mines!" She then also pulled onto her hair, hoping to get it from Haruhi's grip.
Unfortunately, Haruhi merely pulled hard and got onto her back. Holding onto Tsuruya-san's hair like reigns, she…started treating her like a horse. I was quickly reminded of the fact that Haruhi had done the exact same thing to me last Sunday. I facepalmed when I saw this, thinking that perhaps Haruhi was going a little too far.
"Giddy up, horsey! Get moving!"
Tsuruya-san complied, lifting up Haruhi as best as she could. She then began to walk on all fours around the ring. At first, I thought maybe she might have found this demeaning, but after a half a minute, I found that she was enjoying being ridden around. To her, it must've been like a game. The two of them went around the ring acting like a bunch of goofballs for another minute. Haruhi even went as far as slapping Tsuruya-san on the butt, another thing that I remembered. For some reason, it bothered the hell out of me to watch her do that. And no, it wasn't jealousy. There's no way I'd want Haruhi to do that to me again.
Soon after that, Koizumi blew the whistle, finally ending the match. Haruhi then got off of Tsuruya-san. The green haired girl collapsed in exhaustion right after that, rolling over onto her back to catch her breath. She still had a huge smile on her face with her cute little fang in full display. After a second, she picked herself up and took one last deep breath.
"Man she's strong," said Tsuruya-san "It's all I could do just to keep up with her."
"You did better than I thought you would," I said, giving her an encouraging smile.
Tsuruya-san responded by giving me the victory symbol as she hunched over weakly. I then turned to Haruhi, who had a confident smile on her. No doubt that once she finally got a hold of Tsuruya-san that she enjoyed the match considerably more. I was confident that there would be no closed spaces opening for now. I looked over to where Koizumi was, who was obtaining the results from the judges. It wasn't long before he returned to the center of the ring, megaphone in hand.
"The results are in! It's a unanimous decision! And that winner is…" Koizumi pauses for dramatic effect. Just tell us the results already! "…Our one and only Brigade Chief, Haruhi Suzumiya-san!" He then lifted her arm into the air to show who the victorious one was.
I didn't have any real doubt that she'd won. With the exception of the first few minutes, she was in control of nearly the entire match. The crowd had a mixed reaction to the outcome but not as bad as the first match. Overall, I would say it was a pretty entertaining match. I looked into the crowd again to see the reactions of Haruhi's parents. Of course, Naru-san appeared pleased to see her daughter win, but what surprised me was the Oruki seemed pretty pleased as well. Perhaps at some point he'd gotten over his embarrassment and had begun to enjoy the match. I could only hope that was the case. The better he feels after the end of this contest, the less trouble I would be in afterwards.
I walked up to Haruhi after the announcement of her win. "Way to go, Haruhi. I figured you'd win."
"Of course," said Haruhi confidently before she looked at me suspiciously. "I know what you're trying to do!" She then pointed directly at my nose. "Don't think that your flattery is going to get you out of your penalty!"
To be honest, I'd forgotten all about that stupid penalty, but when I was reminded of it, I had a sudden feeling of tremendous dread. My match was supposed to be next, which meant I had to suffer my punishment now. I was practically in a state of panic as I tried to talk her out of it. "Please don't make me wear all of that! There has to be some other way!"
"My decision is final, Kyon! You should be lucky that I'm being as lenient as I am! I was going to make your punishment ten times worse!" She then put her hand on her chin to think. "Now…I just need a little time to put it on you."
I sunk my head in despair as Haruhi grabbed the hose to wash off all the mud off her body, still trying to think of a solution. It didn't take long before she apparently came up with an idea. She once again gave off her million-watt smile. "I got it!" She then turned towards the others. "Koizumi, Tsuruya, Mikuru-chan! Come here!"
The three of them went up to Haruhi to see what she wanted. I wasn't able to hear what she was saying to them, but it didn't take long before I could hear Asahina-san beginning to whimper again followed by Tsuruya-san laughing.
"That's sound like an excellent idea," said Koizumi as he began to move towards the center of the ring.
Tsuruya-san then grabbed Asahina-san by the arm. "Come on, Mikuru-chan! It's our turn now!" She then began to pull her towards the ring as well.
"Wait! I don't want to do this again!" cried Asahina-san as she was forced back into the ring again.
After that, Koizumi addressed the crowd again. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're scheduling an extra match for all of you! In just a moment, the losers of the first two rounds will face off to determine who outranks who! Will it be the sweet and lovely Mikuru Asahina, or the beautiful and energetic Tsuruya-san? We shall see!"
"Kyon!" came a voice from behind me. I turned around to find it was Haruhi, who now had a chair and…that bag that had the stuff I was supposed to…put on… She playfully smiled as she held up the bag and pointed to the chair, obviously wanting me to sit in it. I then realized that this whole match between Asahina-san and Tsuruya-san was her ploy to stall for time while Haruhi…prepared me for my punishment. Realizing that I could not get out of my fate, I slowly and weakly walked up to the chair and sat down. What sucked the most was the fact that the chair was facing away from the ring, so I wasn't going to be able to watch the match.
It was only seconds after I sat down that the third match started. "Ready. Set!" I then heard the whistle blow…
First things first, I'm SO sorry that I didn't get to the conclusion of the wrestling tournament with this chapter, but as you can see, this chapter was already ridiculously long (it's the longest one for this story yet). I feel guilty that I couldn't post it all at once, but hopefully it won't take long to write and post the rest of it.
This chapter was every bit as difficult to write as I thought it would be. I'm not quite sure if it's as good as I had hoped. I really wanted it to be enjoyable, and I would be sad if it wasn't. Anyway, hope to hear what you guys think! Thank you very, very much!
See you next chapter!