Hi everyone. I'm quite astonished by the sheer number of reviews I received for this fiction. That is more than I usually get and I want to thank anybody, who took the time to leave a comment, especially the ones who were so persistent that I should update
Truth be told: The chapter, or at least its original version was finished far earlier, but then my beta reader got an idea how to improve it even more. She suggested that Quaritch shouldn't be a complete barbarian, but that he also has this sort of cultivated intelligence on him. I found that more convincing (and a bit meaner) as if he were just a lust-driven perv (which had been my original shot...). I hope you go along with this, as well. I find it quite brilliant. ;)
Thus I apologize for the inconvenience of having to let you wait a bit longer, but this was by far the hardest chapter. It's also slightly longer than the others. And I'm not finished. But that's it. Enough of rant.
Chapter 4
Needs and Wants
Grace stopped a few meters short of Quaritch's quarters. They were located in the floor above the scientist's quarters and with the help of some directions they hadn't been that hard to find. It still had taken her some time to get there because she was in no particular hurry.
Although his doors weren't different from her own she found them threatening and menacing. They seemed to glare at her and reminded her of what was about to happen.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then another one in order to calm down. She felt sweat on her palms and clenched her hands into fists to get rid of it. When that didn't help she wiped them on her trousers.
"Alright, this is it," she finally murmured to herself. She couldn't delay this infinitely and the longer she stood there the more uncomfortable she got.
In a bold move she stepped forward and pressed the buzzer.
The sound she had made reverberated behind the door and Grace let go of a last sigh. She leaned on the wall the second before the doors moved aside with the same hissing sound as hers. The moments had seemed like eternity and she could already feel the sweat returning to her hands.
Quaritch stood in the doorframe and looked her over. He was wearing a white shirt and black trousers, which were surprisingly unmilitary.
"So good of you to come, Dr. Augustine."
He didn't give the impression that he was overly surprised to see her.
Without returning his greetings she entered his quarters.
It was a prosaic, military room and everything was arranged efficiently. In contrast to her current mess everything was tidy and clean, almost cold.
A faintly remembered conversation of two marines she had overheard in the mess hall came to her mind. Their topic had been the colonel and one of them had remarked with a humorous undertone that 'Quaritch was never surprised and he had a lot of guns'. So much was true, certainly.
The only decoration, it seemed, were guns in several sizes and calibers hanging on the walls.
Grace had no doubt that each of them was fully functional.
She furthermore couldn't help but notice the chess board on the table at the other side of the room.
The party was almost over and it was obvious that the black chessmen were about to win in two or three moves. The white queen was knocked over. If reality had taken a liking in irony it definitely was mocking her today.
She turned around to face her opponent.
In a casual manner Quaritch had walked away from the doors after they had closed behind her. He eyed her like a predator eyed his prey.
Stupid metaphors!
"Here I am," she eventually managed to say, quite stating the obvious.
"I knew you were sensible. I hadn't expected anything else from an intelligent woman like you. You won't regret it."
"We shall see…"
She realized that she had begun shivering and shifted her position a little, so he wouldn't see it. "So what do you want me to do?"
She dreaded each and every one of these words and when she uttered them it didn't feel as if they had come out of her mouth.
This whole thing was about dominance and submission and she loathed her part in it. She wasn't the submissive type. The fact that this was probably the reason why Quaritch had chosen her didn't help her to feel better.
He began circling her.
"One thing at a time. You barely arrived."
She crossed her arms before her chest and glared at him.
"Can't we just get it over with? I'm here, isn't that what you wanted?"
He stopped his pacing and faced her.
She was very tall, only a few centimeters shorter than he was which meant that their faces were almost on the same level.
Her size had impressed him from the start since he knew that it could – if used rightly – be a very intimidating feature. He had used his own size to his advantage several times himself, although here on Pandora it didn't mean as much as on earth. Compared to the average Na'Vi he was still small and had to rely on technological help to appear more impressive. For human standards however, and for a female Grace Augustine managed the same without effort and without even intending it.
She was also only slightly older than he was, but still attractive in a mature kind of way. He especially liked her long legs although her current clothes didn't emphasize them.
At the moment she watched him suspiciously; uncertain about what was to happen. She was frightened, but she held herself together pretty well, he had to give her that. Somehow her behavior surprised him.
He had expected her to be more emotional in any kind of way, but she stayed exceptionally calm.
"Yes," he finally answered. He came one step closer looking her directly in the eye. She didn't avoid his gaze. "Yes, that's what I wanted. But why the rush? As I understand it you have no other appointments. Or have you?"
Grace shook her head and her red curls bounced by the sudden movement. Her alcohol bottle popped into her mind, but she tried to avoid this thought. It was too ridiculous. Tension built up in her.
She knew why she was here and the colonel knew it, too. Why did he have to delay the inevitable?
She wanted him to make the first move, wanted to see how far he would go, if he needed to show initiative. But she also didn't want to stay here longer than necessary. All the weapons he had on display disturbed her. They reminded her of what he was capable of doing.
He stood only a few centimeters away from her, like he had done the other evening.
When she didn't turn away from his stare, he chuckled before he broke the eye-contact himself.
"Something to drink?"
What?
"No, thanks."
"Alright. Nobody should say I am a bad host."
Grace found herself staring at Quaritch in disbelief.
He can't be serious! He goddamn can't be serious!
Before he could have a chance to notice her surprise she turned away. She didn't want to admit that he was still able to catch her off guard.
"No, I'm fine…" she added after a few seconds. She felt like she had to answer at least something.
"As you wish." He walked slowly to the table where he had prepared two glasses and a bottle of a clear liquid Grace could not identify. "But I hope you don't mind if I take some?"
"No, not at all…"
He poured something of the liquid in one of the glasses and took a large sip before he put it back on the table.
Grace watched him, unable to move or say anything.
"Why don't you sit down?" he asked her after a while.
"Yeah, thanks…" she murmured and moved slowly towards the couch, which was located next to the table.
Awkwardly she took a seat, uneasily waiting for his next step.
He kept standing until she was seated, took another sip out of his glass and then sat down next to her.
"You sure, you don't want anything?"
"Yes." She felt that she was answering quite monosyllabically by now.
He nodded.
"Alright."
After that there was a few minutes silence in which they looked at each other. Grace tried to make out what her counterpart was thinking.
Despite the fact that she hated him now more than ever she couldn't deny that he was quite attractive in a tough kind of way. His scars made him look like a rogue or like somebody who wasn't stopped by anything and his short hair added to that look. It was almost a pity that his face was hardened by his unscrupulousness, since it couldn't completely conceal a certain handsomeness. Unfortunately however his features didn't betray what he felt at this particular moment.
Finally he broke the silence when he reached out and stroked her hair.
"You're beautiful."
She didn't know and definitely didn't expect that he was capable of civilized conversation, but she appreciated it. It was undeniably better than the alternative, so she decided to play along.
"Thank you", she replied as detached as possible.
He sat back; obviously content just watching her, and a casual observer probably would have mistaken them for friends. But after a few moments Grace felt like she had to say something.
"Is that all you were going to do? Sitting there, ogling me?"
He smiled one of his very rare smiles.
"Maybe. But I simply thought we could talk a little." He paused. "How is your work? You rarely seem to do anything else."
She was surprised. That man blackmailed her, brought her to his quarters, just to talk about work he neither did understand nor cared about?
For a second she considered to brush his question off and give him a sort of standoffish answer instead, but then she decided otherwise.
"It could be better. We're lacking resources and people. So far we haven't indexed even an estimated hundredth of the planet's flora and fauna. And even if there are samples, it's not always easy to label them rightly. Many specimens seem interconnected and related in some kind of way. But how we don't know yet."
"I'm curious. On one of our scout trips I encountered these strange retreating mushroom things. What are they exactly?"
Did he really want to know details?
"It's kind of difficult. Earth's complete ecosystem never knew plants or fungi that could actually move. At least not in such speed. Of course we have growth and we have some sort of reaction from them as well, but nothing that matches these. We call them Fungus Recedio or in your language "coward mushrooms".
"I kinda like that."
"So I figured."
"But what makes them move?"
She shrugged.
"We're still not entirely sure on that one. They certainly don't have muscles. Our probes confirm that they are indeed related to fungi specimen we know from earth, at least rudimentary. At the moment our best shot is that they are able to perform similar processes like the ones we already know, but so much faster. Maybe their size helps with that. Another possibility is that they form a symbiosis with another life form we haven't been able to discover and another one that this reaction is controlled by electrical charges of some kind. But as I said, we still lack the data to explain the phenomenon."
"Which approach do you personally favor?"
She hesitated, still unsure what was happening. Talking about her work was not particularly hard and she felt that it made her relax a little. But of course it didn't eliminate her knowledge about her real being here. Still she would continue to answer as long as he asked.
"The theory that seems most plausible in my eyes is the one about an accelerated metabolism. Those fungi don't seem that much different from the ones we know, except that they grow in a different environment where they need to escape animals that can become dangerous to them."
"I see. You put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?"
"It's one of the riddles I currently am trying to solve, yes. But I dunno if my thesis will hold in the end."
"Are those coward mushrooms poisonous by any chance?"
"Depends on what kind of creature you are. They don't seem to be poisonous to Na'Vi provided one is fast enough to catch them, but I wouldn't recommend eating them to any human. At least not until we have finished analyzing them. Then we can positively tell whether they are edible by humans as well."
"Or not."
"Or not, that's right."
"Another thing that puzzles me almost as much as these mushrooms were those little jellyfish-like things that are floating in the air. What are those? Are they plants or animals?"
"You mean those things similar to dandelion seed?"
"Yes. We have encountered them very frequently. Although it looks like they float with a random pattern they have never touched me or my people, which made me wonder whether they are sentient and potentially dangerous?"
"I know exactly what you are talking about, but I cannot give you a definite answer to this question. These things are puzzling us as well. But I believe it can safely be assumed that they are not dangerous."
"What makes you so sure of that?"
"You seem to see a threat in everything, don't you?"
"It's my job. And besides so far Pandora hasn't convinced me otherwise."
Grace sighed. She held back a sharp reply, because she felt it useless to discuss this matter with him again.
"What makes me so sure? I would say they haven't tried to attack anybody so far. They avoid humans. They run away if you will. That doesn't qualify as threatening for me."
"We'll see, won't we? But you still haven't answered what they are then?"
"I don't know. Nobody has been able to collect one. We can only hypothesize."
"Then you should do so."
"If I were to extrapolate information depending on the readings and observations on these things I wouldn't say they are sentient, or let's say intelligent. That they avoid humans might have to do with something emanating from our bodies like warmth, a smell or maybe even an electrical charge as well. They seem like a hybrid between plant and animal, but unfortunately I cannot tell you more. All of this is highly speculative anyway. We call them Levitata in want of a better name."
"You give these things quite interesting names."
"It's an old science tradition that the nomenclature shall be in Latin. But since many plants and creatures on this planet are not related to anything we know from earth we need to start from scratch again, because the old categories do not fit anymore. It is certainly a challenge."
"I can imagine that. Although collecting plants and observing animals is only a small part of your job. I was wondering how the Avatar Project is going recently?"
Of course he would eventually go for that. It was the one thing that bore real relevance for him and his stupid marines.
"As if you don't know! To say the Na'Vi are pissed with us is a grave understatement. We haven't seen even one in weeks. At the moment we are trying to rectify past mistakes some people have made. We still believe in a peaceful solution."
"Yes, I am aware of that. I still don't share your beliefs, though."
"No, you merely use them to your advantage."
"What can I say? We are both persons of principles. We both serve our cause."
"How does bringing me here 'serve your cause'?"
He smiled, but instead of an answer, he stroked her cheek and her neck before he placed a kiss on her lips.
His warmth, odor and closeness were almost unbearable and it took Grace a few seconds to adjust.
It was such an intimate gesture for her that it felt impossible to share it with someone who didn't deserve it. But she also knew what was at stake, thus she forced herself to comply. She tried to return the kiss and at the same time forgetting his hands on her body.
When he finally broke the kiss he placed another one on her cheek before he released her again.
Grace took a deep breath and tried to focus.
He had been surprisingly gentle and had done nothing to hurt her, but that was actually almost harder to bear as if he had been forceful and demanding. What he did made her body respond whether she wanted it or not.
She closed her eyes for a few seconds. All she wanted was to get out of there sooner than later. He was confusing her so much that she couldn't think straight anymore.
"Tell me," he said, pulling her out of her thoughts, "what was your motivation to come to a godforsaken rock like this in the first place?"
"It's a challenge. I'm a scientist, forgotten? Being curious is part of my job."
Grace chose her words carefully. She still didn't know why he was suddenly so interested in talking to her and it made her uncomfortable. Furthermore she didn't want him to know anything about her past. Her old life was left behind on Earth; it shouldn't come up again on Pandora.
"How could I forget? The woman who wrote the book on this planet is sitting in front of me. The thing is actually quite useful and I can only recommend it to every newcomer."
"That's not how I intended it."
"Still, we're working for the same company. They want us to share our knowledge and they make the rules. Mostly."
"Yeah, mostly." This time she couldn't hide her sarcasm.
Of course this little fact had also worked in her favor when she was able to convince Selfridge of this and that, but at the moment it seemed that he was more in favor of Quaritch's approach. And the Colonel was happily exploiting this current stare of affairs.
Great, just great!
He reached out to embrace her and pulled her closer until their bodies touched. Then he kissed her again while stroking her back and her arms.
This time Grace had less trouble returning the kiss. It didn't come natural, but she was able to subdue her disgust in an attempt of self-preservation.
She closed her eyes and simply let it happen.
For quite some time he seemed satisfied with holding her in his arms and give her his occasional caress. He had yet more questions to ask and Grace tried her best to answer them without being impolite, but also without giving away too much of a personal nature. He seemed sincerely interested in her.
His touches were slowly becoming more intense and demanding between his questions and the conversation he maintained. It was getting later and later, but so far he hadn't made any real indication to go any further.
She didn't know what sick game he was playing, but she felt that the only way to get out of there soon was to take the initiative herself. Since she firmly believed that it would be finally coming to this anyway she decided against her own reluctance to speed things up a little. When he was kissing her again she got up and placed herself astride on his lap without breaking the kiss. She was now facing him.
My God what am I doing here?
He seemed genuinely surprised by her bold move, but she hoped he wouldn't take it as a sign that she actually liked it. At that moment she was glad that he hadn't used any violence against her and that everything he had done had been bearable. But no matter what, there was no way around being humiliated in the end. She only wanted to go home. Get away from him.
It doesn't matter! Give him what he wants…
When he broke the kiss she looked him in the eye and began unbuttoning her white blouse. She could see the want in his gaze and the way he followed her movements. She hadn't done this in quite some time for somebody else, but she still managed to do it skillfully without looking. When she had finished he took his hands from her hip where he had put them and smiled.
But to her great astonishment he didn't remove the blouse from her body. He buttoned it up again.
It was not that he didn't want her – on the contrary, his arousal was quite obvious.
"What are you doing? Isn't that what I'm here for?" she eventually managed to say.
He shook his head.
"Why are you in such a hurry? It's our first date."
"But I thought… Ah, never mind." It was hard for her to hide her frustration.
"Is that who you think I am?"
"I don't think you want an honest opinion on that…"
He chuckled.
"Maybe not. But the fact remains – I'm not sleeping with you tonight."
"Alright, that's fine with me."
Slowly she rose from his lap, glad to get away from him. "If you don't, I guess I'm done here for tonight…"
She wanted to head for the door.
"No you're not. You're done here, when I tell you so."
Here it was again – the menacing undertone, which had been so strangely absent the whole evening.
She stopped and turned around to look at him. Desperation overcame her.
The way he had treated her since the moment she had entered his quarters obviously betrayed more than pure sexual interest; and his initial answer he had given her that night was coming back into her mind.
You!
He wanted more than simply her body; he wanted to have a twisted sort of relationship with her. Why else would he go through with such an elaborate scheme? He could have raped her all along and still threatened to kill the Na'Vi if she said something. It was too obvious!
It was her as a person that he wanted, with everything she had to offer.
To sell her body was one thing – to sell her whole being quite another.
She lifted her arms in complete and utter resignation.
"Okay, fine. You made your point."
"Good. Then sit down again. Oh, and by the way I want you to stay for the night."