He could feel the tears running down his cheeks, and he could feel his brothers crowding awkwardly outside the dojo, caught between the pull of the sacred hour of practice, and wanting to give their brother privacy. Without opening his eyes he called them in, voice breaking. They crowded around him, and he opened his eyes as he spoke.
"I saw her. Mom."
He could see their shock. He had never called her mom before. He opened his mouth to explain, and then found that the words did not exist.
"It was like…" he began. But they still weren't there.
"Benevolence."
He looked at Raph, eyes wide with surprise. His brother was wearing that calm face they had tentatively become used to. He thought about it, and then nodded.
"Yes. She doesn't… love us, not like a human mother loves her children, but being raised in a pet shop, with no predators, free food every day, clean water… That might have driven a human crazy, but her… it turned her into a saint. The darkness of the world doesn't exist in her mind. And she feels a sort of… benevolence, you could call it, for the whole world."
Raph smiled.