Hey there! I'm sorry that it took me this long to update again. But here's the good news: I haven't abandoned the story and currently I'm not planning to do so. It's just that several things came together at once.
First of all: Grace ran off with me. She did what she wanted while writing and I had to put up and find a way to pick up where she left me. Furthermore university started two weeks ago and they buried me in a load of work. This isn't going to change over the next weeks, but I do what I can. Sorry. I hope the chapter is worth it.
Chapter 5 - In the darkest hours…
When Quaritch woke her, Grace felt terrible. Her whole body was aching and she didn't feel particularly rested.
It had been a horrible night.
Strangely enough the colonel had kept his word and hadn't touched her, but she had stayed awake nevertheless. Somehow she had always anticipated it to happen and when it hadn't she was still too full of adrenaline to immediately drop off. Most of the night she had lain next to him, too stressed to make the slightest move. She had listened to his breathing and felt his warmth and had tried to think of something else.
Although he had seemed fast asleep she hadn't dared to leave his quarters clandestinely. He wouldn't have taken lightly to this, she feared. Thus she had endured lying next to him and had counted on the passage of time.
Finally she must have fallen asleep as well, since a hand on her shoulder pulled her back to reality.
When she opened her eyes it took her a few seconds to remember and one glance at the clock told her she had overslept.
It wasn't a dream!
"Good morning, Doctor!" The sound of Quaritch's voice rang in her ears while she tried to sit up. Dozily she brushed her hair out of her face and forced herself to look at him.
He appeared as if he was perfectly rested. On top of that he was already fully dressed and he smelled like he had taken a shower, which made it on the one hand easier for her to forget his nightly appearance, but on the other hand it reminded her of how much he was in control of the situation.
"Morning," she replied out of the necessity to say something.
He came nearer and stroked her hair.
"I hope you had a good night."
"No. Not really."
"What a shame. But maybe you'll learn in time."
She glared at him, but didn't reply. She didn't even want to think of future encounters with him. Instead she finally got up and started collecting her clothes, which she had hung over a chair. She hadn't been able to bring herself to sleep in them, besides he had "kindly" asked her to remove them. Thus she had gone to bed in her underwear.
Under his watchful eyes she put the clothes back on.
"Do you want breakfast?" he asked after she had finished. She could see that he had already prepared a whole meal on the table at the other end of the room. The smell of fresh toast and bacon and eggs was undeniable and there also seemed to be a pot of hot coffee.
"Thank you. But no." She answered with a glance at the table. She usually never ate breakfast and if she did she wouldn't do it with him if she could help it. She could have done with a cigarette however. Besides what she really wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible.
"Then you should go to work." It didn't seem to surprise him that she declined and he made no indication of holding her back.
"Yeah." She started heading for the door.
"See you later!" he added with an ambiguous undertone in his voice before she had reached the exit.
Without turning back again she left his quarters. Eventually.
As soon as she was standing in the hallway she let herself fall with the back against one of the walls and closed her eyes.
Her whole body was trembling because of everything that had happened, made worse by her lack of sleep. She had expected to be humiliated, but not in the way it had actually occurred.
Get a grip on yourself!
She shook her head and got away from the wall. Before she went to the lab she needed go to her quarters and take a shower and maybe a cup of coffee. It was true, she was late, but she didn't want to go to the lab right away. There was almost certainly a pretty haunted look on her face and her colleagues shouldn't see her like that. She needed the change of clothes and the opportunity to freshen up.
When Grace finally entered her workplace she was surprised by how late she really was. The omnipresent watches told her this as much as the startled faces of her fellow scientists.
She was determined that this shouldn't ever happen again. One way or another she had to make sure. It annoyed her that Quaritch had been able to detain her that long.
His order to stay for the night – she refused to call it request – had come as a complete surprise, which had made it impossible for her to plan ahead in any way. Everything was messed up.
Naturally!
She felt that she owed her colleagues an explanation, since they continued looking at her. Thus she lifted her arms in an apologetic gesture.
"Sorry that I didn't make it in time. I had a very late night."
This wasn't even a lie and their sympathetic faces showed her that they understood.
"Well, let's get started!" She looked around. "What I need now are the reports and of course a cup of coffee."
She heard an amused murmur among the scientists and relaxed a little. At least here everything was okay. They trusted her and they did their work. In here she was in control.
Slowly she walked over to her working station, but before she could reach it, Max already approached her with a datapad in his hand.
"These are the reports you requested, Dr. Augustine. The coffee should be ready in a minute."
She smiled and took the pad out of hands.
"Thank you, Max. Anything unusual?"
"Not that I'm aware of, but you can look for yourself. Most analyses are still pending or they didn't reveal anything new, but I finished the research on the samples you told me."
She suppressed a sigh.
"Thanks again. I really appreciate that. Got anything special there?"
"Yes and no. They are rather unusual, but compared to everything on Pandora they are not. I found out that they glow at night, but only when they are touched by something alive."
She nodded.
"I remember them glowing, that's why we took them in the first place."
"Yes, right. But as I said, they need living tissue in order to do so. Touching them with metal or wood or anything else doesn't have any effect."
"Any idea why this is the case?"
Now it was his turn to smile broadly.
"It seems to support your theory that everything in this forest is interconnected somehow. After we had removed them from their soil, they lost their ability to glow, although we kept the roots intact. When we put them back to the earth however they regained it again. It looks like they react on body capacitance emitted by humanoids and animals, similar to touch-sensitive lamps."
"Really? This is fascinating. Good work! But don't forget, even if this supports my theory it's still only a theory at the moment."
She patted him on the shoulder in appreciation.
"Of course, but so far it's the most plausible one. Isn't it interesting that plants develop, which are so obviously useful? They serve as an illumination at night, helping any inhabitant of the forest to find the way. Almost as if they were designed to do so."
"No premature conclusions, Max."
"Right."
Both of them were grinning now and for a moment Grace could forget the horror that has come into her life.
Somebody had put a cup of steaming coffee on her desk while she was busy talking with her fellow colleague. Absentmindedly she seized it and took a small sip and skipped through the report Max had given her.
"I'd like to take the Avatar Unit today," she finally said after a moment of silence. "I see here that they are finally finished with the new upgrades and I want to test the unit before we go out into the forest again collecting samples."
"That might be a good idea. Shall I tell the others that you plan a test run?"
"Please."
And I want to be alone!
"Sounds good. I will make the necessary preparations."
He turned away and Grace finished reading the report.
Freedom!
The dewy grass under her bare feet felt refreshing and new and the sunlight on her face held the promise of liberty. As a Na'Vi Grace wore fewer clothes than in her human form, but here it felt right.
The Na'Vi were made for this environment and possessing a similar body like them increased every sensation in various contacts with the Pandoran ecosystem.
On normal scout trips they were of course wearing shoes, but inside the fences of Hell's Gate Grace tried to avoid them.
It was a more intense encounter that way and this was what all her research was all about in the end: to experience life on Pandora first-hand.
She inhaled the air while she was running, concentrating only on the moment, feeling her feet touching the ground only to be lifted in the up again after a few milliseconds, bushes and plants flying past her. The movement allowed her to test movement and reaction in her fingers and toes. In addition it simply felt great.
Her colleagues were waiting for her to have finished this "test run", but she didn't care if she took her time. She would tell them soon enough. Now she needed to be alone in this fresh, unspoiled body taking in everything around her with her sharpened senses.
Quaritch would never be able to take that away from her. Although he had been pretty close once.
As a Na'Vi she was free from him and she knew quite well that the Avatar project was her only opportunity to rid herself from his blackmailing forever.
But this meant that she needed results to convince Selfridge to continue with diplomacy without straining his patience. The current situation simply favored the military approach Quaritch would surely provide without hesitating.
Dammit, she desperately needed to restore contact with the planet's natives again, but they had lost all their trust in the "Sky People", barely showing themselves now.
Probably the upgrades on the Avatar units could help her on this mission, but she counted more on the supply ship. Until then she needed to stall time.
She finally stopped when she reached the compound's fence, avoiding to touch it, as it was electrically charged. What would have been a straining exercise for her aging human body was nothing for her in this form – she barely had to pant.
The new installations hadn't been with the Avatar bodies, but with the Connector Units that allowed safe body transfer. There was nothing that could be done to improve these bodies at the moment. Apart from small details they were a perfect imitation of the Na'Vi, meaning that they fulfilled their purpose. The improvements on the Connectors however should allow for a continuous use of the Avatar bodies for a longer period of time than before.
For testing reasons the alterations had been installed on only one Connector Unit at the moment, because it was impossible to say if they had any negative effect on the use of the remote controlled bodies. If no side effects were discovered all the other units would be supplied with the upgrade as well.
Grace still was glad that the development hadn't taken longer. They had had all the needed resources right at hand from the beginning, but there had been some funding quarrels she had had with Selfridge over the necessities of these upgrades. Apart from that however she had not much to do with this, as she was no technician. At least it was finished now and so far she hadn't discovered any flaws.
Before she returned to her fellow scientists in order to report her experiences she could not resist the urge to close her eyes, spread her arms and spin around a few times, making her black beads fly through the momentum.
It was silly, but it was also very liberating and a smile crept on her face. For the first time in days she felt happy again. She knew it couldn't last, but she tried to make the moment count. Besides it was a good thing to know that she could now stay longer in this form than before. She enjoyed her solitude for several minutes more, before she sprinted back to her colleagues in order to report.
A young physician named Carter looked at her expectantly when she arrived, since he was in charge of monitoring her vital signs.
"And?"
Grace grinned broadly, unable to hide her satisfaction.
"I didn't experience any difficulties with my motor skills. It seems to be working, Doctor. Reflexes were alright and there was no delay between movement and brain signals."
"That's what my monitor says, too. But before we can be sure, we have to do further tests. Checking reflexes, hand-eye-coordination, your audiovisuals, that kind of stuff…"
"By all means. We should also account for prolonged use. Maybe side effects will only become noticeable after several hours in this body. Furthermore, I want all other Avatar units to be tested as well, before we finally implement these upgrades. We can't afford to take risks."
"We already prepared for testing the effects on prolonged exposure. Maybe you could try to stay longer in the Avatar than the old maximum."
"Twelve Hours should be enough, I don't want to push it too far over the ten-hour-limit."
"Understood. I think that we can finish all necessary tests in this time."
"Then let's start!"
It was late in the evening when the examination of Grace's Avatar was concluded. The whole exercise had been an exhausting experience and it was all the more straining, now that she had to return to her real and overtired body. The first thing she demanded was a cigarette of course. She often needed them, when coming back from her adventures with the second body, but today she needed it even more.
What a day!
The test run however had been a complete success. She had performed above average in almost all tests and that hadn't changed when she used the Avatar over the extended time period. This was a promising start and she hoped her colleagues would achieve the same results when testing their Avatars. There were still possibilities for glitches, and she was very well aware of that
The next days would tell, but she was rather confident, that everything would work out in the end. She had had her streak of bad luck, it could only get better.
While she got down from the modified Connector unit, she could see the hope in the eyes of her team as well.
She took a drag of her cigarette and looked at them.
"I wanted to thank you all for your efforts today and I am pleased to say that we are making progress. As you might have heard all tests on the upgrades were successful. I don't want to raise false hopes, but I'd say that's a very good start."
The clapping of many hands was the response and although she knew that it would be hard to live up to these expectations it felt good.
"Thank you. We still have a long way to go, but our work just might have gotten easier."
Notwithstanding the fact that some idiots had made it harder on purpose in the first place.
With the successes of this day in mind Grace returned to her desk. The workday was over, but she felt like she wanted to stay as long as possible. Outside the lab she certainly would encounter Quaritch in one form or another. She was quite sure that she hadn't heard the last of him, that last evening was in fact only the beginning. Although her first intimate encounter with him had been in this very laboratory she felt safer while staying here, especially when her colleagues were still around. This was her territory.
It was not until the scientific department called it a day, that she returned to her quarters as well.
The moment the doors closed behind her, she didn't feel so exhausted any more, partly because this day had given her a sense of achievement.
She was in high spirits again and optimistic that everything would turn alright one way or another. She had earned and needed it.
On her way to the bathroom she already slipped out of her current blouse and let it fall next to a heap of other clothes. She sighed and tried to ignore it – maybe she was in the mood to do something about the mess in the room the next day.
She took her time in the bathroom, enjoying the quiet and the time she had for herself. In order to be more comfortable she finally changed the rest of her everyday clothes for the white shirt she used to sleep in. Of course she also possessed some pajamas, but at the moment she preferred this simple shirt over them. It was good to wear and it fulfilled its purpose. She didn't close all its buttons before she thoughtfully turned away from the mirror, in front of which she had stood for quite some time.
She looked tired, true enough, but not nearly as freaked out as she had looked this morning, which was reassuring.
"I'll manage." Upon exiting the bathroom her gaze fell on the photograph that stood on her night table. She felt a pang in her heart, the moment she saw it. But she also knew then that she already had felt worse.
Quaritch was only a mean-spirited person, who needed constant reassurance that he still had power. She still didn't fear him; the only thing she feared was that he might hurt innocents. However, and she had to admit that to herself, she had no real clue as to what was to expect from him next. And he certainly made her nervous. But there was no way he could actually hurt her. She had experienced hurt years ago.
She turned away from the image and walked over to her table, where she poured herself a glass of vodka she intended to down, before she went to bed.
At that moment her doorbell rang.
She put the bottle and glass back where they belonged and stared at the door. There were no visitors she expected and even fewer visitors she wanted to see. Actually, there was only one person she suspected of standing outside her quarters.
For a moment she contemplated ignoring the bell, but she knew that he knew that she was home.
Sadly she shook her head.
"No," she murmured before opening.
"Good evening, Doctor!"
"Colonel?" She tried to be as formal as possible, still not believing the sight of Miles Quaritch in front of her quarters, this time in battle dress uniform, but with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
"I heard that your tests today had been a full success. I thought we should celebrate this."
Before she could answer something he stepped into her quarters. He looked around and finally put his bottle and glasses next to the ones which belonged to Grace.
Still in disbelief she closed the door again and turned around, meeting his gaze. She noticed him eyeing her appearance and she swore to herself to sleep in pajamas from now on. Suddenly she felt as if she were naked.
"I… uhm… Actually I wanted to go to bed. I didn't sleep very well, you know. Besides we don't know if the upgrades live up to our expectations."
"I see. You have a point here. But maybe you'd want to share a glass with me anyway, now that I'm here?"
"Not really. I'm not into that kind of thing."
He pulled up one eyebrow and eyed her bottle of vodka suspiciously.
"Doesn't look that way to me. From what I've heard, you're very much into that kind of thing. Maybe too much."
"Not your goddamn business."
"As long as it doesn't affect security… and our little relationship, I mostly concur."
As if he needed to demonstrate what he had meant he walked up on her and kissed her on the cheek. Then he continued.
"Still, I find it interesting that you would say something like that."
She shrugged.
"Think what you will. I don't need to explain myself to anybody."
"True enough. And I won't ask it from you."
He turned away and sat down on the couch, moving things aside, which had lain there before. He leaned back and watched her intently, almost as if he drank in her appearance.
"Sit down, please."
Grace sighed. These were still her quarters, but since she didn't know what else to do she obeyed.
After she had done this, he took his bottle of wine, opened it and filled his two glasses. Then he put the bottle back, picked up one glass and handed it to Grace.
"Here, let's drink to new upgrades!"
She took the wine glass from him, but she didn't put it on her mouth.
"Why? So can get me drunk, which makes it easier for you to have your way with me? I already said I don't want it."
She put it back on the table.
Without saying anything he gently took her hand and led it back to the glass.
"I don't want you drunk, my dear. I simply want to celebrate your success."
And thus ruining it for me…
Under his watchful eye they clinked glasses, then she tentatively took a sip. It was only then that he took up his own glass and drank as well.
The wine tasted better than Grace expected and although she would never admit it, it really didn't matter whether she had taken the vodka then or the wine now. Slowly she put the glass down after she had finished.
Quaritch nodded approvingly.
"See, it wasn't so bad…"
Grace snorted.
"I definitely had worse, no doubt about that."
"Oh, I would hope so. I would never offer you something cheap."
"I already feel much better."
He ignored her latest comment and leaned forward to kiss her cheek and then trailed down her neckline. But then he stopped.
"I forgot. You had a hard day. Go to sleep now, there is no rush." With that he stood up and gathered his bottle and glasses.
Grace got up as well, but didn't know what to reply. Instead she watched him go to the door. He was almost outside when he turned back for a last time.
"By the way… nice legs."