Thank you for all the feedback that you guys have been giving! It really motivates me to keep writing this story!
Also a heads up for this chapter it reads as two different ch. , but I made them into one.
Kate wished that she could just pick up and leave all this mess behind and start a new life with Tom one that they had planned since they where children , but in her heart she knew it was not that simple.
"Tom we are not kids anymore a lot has changed since then." Kate let out in a defeated tone.
"I don't care how much has changed you belong with me and to be back where you grew up. Not as a low life servant. That is one thing that I will never be able to forgive your father for, I still can't believe that he would sell his own daughter as a servant!"
"Tom he had to do something there was no money left and mother was sick."
"There are other ways to get money than selling something as special as you!"
" I can't believe he told you where I was and what he did."
" He did no such thing. In fact I have been begging him over the last four years to tell me what he had done with you, but he never did cave."
" I don't understand. Then how did you know where to find me?"
Tom got a far of look in his eyes and turned his gaze away from Kate.
" Tom what are you not telling me?"
Just then the sounds of someone approaching could be heard and Kate got a panicked look across her face.
" Tom you have to go now! If that is Jack or Mr. Locke, oh god Tom you have to go." She said in a rushed panicked tone.
" Katie I'm not going anywhere unless you are going with me! Who is this Jack and Mr. Locke?"
" It does not matter just go!"
It was too late, "Who is this?"
Kate let out a sigh of relief to the sound of Rose's voice and turned to face the older woman, "Rose never in my life have I been so happy to hear your voice!"
"That is great and all, but that still does not answer my question."
"Oh sorry Rose this is my best friend Tom, we grew up together. My father would sell his vegetables and milk to his father who has a store in town. Tom this is Rose and she is my only true real friend that I have in this place."
"It is my pleasure then." Tom then stuck out his hand to shake Rose's.
Rose returned the favor and did the same, " Well this is all very nice and all, but if you like your head attached to your body then I strongly suggest that you leave now, before anyone else besides us finds out that you are here."
" We have a problem then, because I'm not leaving without Katie."
Rose let a frustrated huff, " Come on we will talk in my place, we can't be out here in the open it's just not safe. Kate I will take him there and you go get Gracie is she playing inside."
" Who is Gracie?"
"She is one of the many changes that has happened to me over these last four years and after you hear everything Tom I don't think that you will want to take me away. Like I said before we are not innocent kids anymore."
As Tom entered Rose's shack he could not believe this was what his Katie had been living in. He choose not to focus on it for to long, because this was her past and what they needed to focus on was their future.
"Rose just exactly who are Jack and Mr. Locke.?Before you showed up, Katie was shooting their names with such a fear."
"Oh, well Jack is the Master of the house and of us. Mr. Locke is his right hand man. Let's just say if they were the ones that found you two together and not I this scene could have gone done very differently."
Just then Kate emerged from the door, holding the hand of a little girl who looked just like her and in that instance Tom knew. He knew that Kate had become a mother and that some man had taken advantage of her and not made an honest woman out of her. This thought angered him greatly that some man could use her just like that or even worse she may have even been raped. This made him enraged at the thought and it also made his blood pulse with anger that another man had touched her in that way, when he was suppose to be her first and only.
Tom was not sure how to react so he just stayed quit.
"Tom there is someone that I would like you to meet this Gracie."
" Hi Tom." Gracie was just too cute and she remained him so much of Kate that his anger subsided at the moment.
" Hi Gracie. You are the most beautiful little girl that I have ever seen."
At this Gracie just smiled.
" I hate to be rude, but we have matters that must be discussed. Tom I know that you said you will not leave with out Kate, but you can't just take her, maybe if she was another one of the servant girls you could, but Kate is an owned woman and her fate lies in the hands of Master Shepherd."
"Tom please do me a favor and just forget about me, go back home to your nice life. Any girl would be lucky to have you as a husband. As you can see I'm already a marked woman this is not what you deserve for a wife." Kate plead with him, she did not want anything bad to happen to her best friend, because of her.
"Whatever the price is I will pay it." He was answering Rose's question, but he was looking directly at Kate letting her know that just because she knew another's man touch and had another man's child he would still fight for her.
" I'm sorry Tom, but there is just no way that you could do it." Rose tired to reinforce the point.
" What do you mean there is no way? Servants are traded all the time, even the ones that are owned by their Masters and not owned."
" What I mean is even if you could match the price that he paid for her, which I'm telling you no son of a store owner could ever afford, but lets say for humor sakes that you could get the money. Master Shepherd would still not sell her to you." Rose said giving it to him straight, she felt bad for the boy and for Kate, but she was a realist and that is one thing the world had taught her.
" I don't understand Rose why would he not sell her, if I could pay the price for her. I know the prices for what servants go for and I have saved up enough money for even the highest price demands of a servant."
"The reason you could not match the price is because he did not pay a servants' fee he paid the amount for a wife. Let me tell you that it was a small fortune more money than Mr. Austen had seen in all his life. That little girl you're looking at his little girl and Kate was and still is by paper his wife that is why he would never sell her to you or anybody for that matter."
As Rose was telling Tom all this information Kate felt ashamed even though everything that had happened to her had been out of her control, but at the same time she still felt that somehow she was sinned by this. There was one good thing that did come out of this mess and that was Gracie. Kate would not take her back for anything, even a care free life with Tom.
" I don't understand if she is his wife then why is she in servant clothes and working as one?" Tom then looked at Kate her face looked as if this was an issue that she did not want to discuss in front of her daughter even if she playing in her own world paying no attention to the adults.
" Never mind it does not matter, what does matter is how we are going to work around this, because like it our not I'm going to go away that easily."
" Tom you have to let this go! Even if we did pull this off and went back home, Gracie is not your daughter and great shame would come to you from your family, friends and even by the towns people all because your wife had been with another man before you and that you had a daughter that was not your own. I could never live with myself knowing that I had brought you that shame." Kate was trying to make Tom see that if he picked her life would not be an easy one.
" Then we lie and say that Gracie is mine. We tell people that we got married in secret before your father sold you as a slave, but you where with child when he sold you. Then all I have done has brought my wife and daughter back to where they belong. Think about it Kate it could work, Gracie looks so much like you that no one could tell who her true father was."
Tom's words were getting to her and she was starting to think that this might actually work. "Okay so we have a plan once we get out of here, but we still don't know how the hell Gracie and I are going to get out of this mess."
Rose had an idea on how they just maybe could get it to work, but she was having mixed feelings on whether or not to speak up and tell them. One she did not want to create false hope, secondly for selfish reasons she did not want Kate and Gracie leaving her she would miss them greatly if they ever left and lastly for some strange reason she still felt a sense of loyalty to her Master. She had spent so many years with him and the Shepherd family and she just hated what he was doing to Kate and Gracie, but Rose of all people still had hope for him to be the man she knew was somewhere inside him. Even if he would never admit it to himself if Kate and Gracie ever left it would destroy him more than he already was. Then he would never become that decent man that was buried inside him.
But then Rose looked down at Gracie who playing on the dirty floor and Kate who was wearing rags. Rose thought if there was a glimmer of hope saving these two girls from a life of hard work and pain she would do it. They deserved so much better than a life of a servant and if this Tom guy could give it to them then so be it.
" I have an idea, but I don't know if it will work."
" Rose what is it? I will give anything a try."
Rose did not like how hopeful Tom sounded when his dreams where more likely to be crushed than come true. "Like I said before it is going to be a long shoot, but if you have any chance of taking Kate back with you, your going to have to go back and save every penny that you make and once you have enough money your going to go to Christian Shepherd tell him your offer and that greedy bastard will jump at the offer not only for the money, but also a chance to get rid of Kate. When the time comes I will try and convince Jack that it is the best thing for everyone involved."
" Okay I will do it, but Rose there is just one matter that brothers me I have spent four years apart from Katie. Now, that I found her I don't think I could stay away till I get all the money."
"Well Tom you will just have to learn how to, cause if Jack or Mr. Locke finds out about you, you might as well just kiss the whole thing goodbye."
Kate was getting a little miffed that they were openly talking about her as if she was not in the room so she decided to interject into the conversation, "Tom, Rose is right it really would be dangerous, but if you were going to come I would come on Tuesday night it is when Jack plays poker and usually Mr. Locke is in there severing drinks to him and his businessmen. Otherwise any other time would be crazy to come."
" Okay Tuesday nights it is then." He said with a smile.
He gave all three women goodbye hugs and he gave Kate a kiss on the cheek. Then he rode off not being seen by anyone.
.
Jack Shepherd sat on top of his made up bed, his room was deathly still and he could hear the sound of his heart pumping. He was dressed in his finest suit and was already to go, but he could not move from his bed, not sure if he was capable of handling the events to come that day.
Somehow he made it out of his room, downstairs, then outside.
People where all around him family members, friends and some faces that he had never seen before and they all seemed to be upset acting if what was happening really effected them, when they had no earthy clue what it really felt like.
Jack then looked up at that sky as the gray clouds were coming in and drops where beginning to fall. He found the weather fitting to how he felt in that very moment as he put his son back into the earth.
Everyone dispersed back into the house, everyone that is, but Jack who stayed out in the pouring rain just to say his own goodbyes alone to Joseph.
Once Jack finally entered the house he looked around at the people who appeared to be sad only moments ago, but now where fine and socializing if they were at a luncheon and not a little boy's funeral. Who were these people, Jack thought to himself, he felt that he could not relate to any of them. This was just an act for all them, none of them really cared for Joseph at all. Jack wanted to kick every last one of them out of his house.
As he stood back just watching, not really sure how to interact with these people, he felt himself crashing and loosing all control, he had to get out of there and fast.
As he was about to make his escape Sarah was coming his way and obviously wanted to tell him something.
" Jack I think you should say something on behalf of Joseph to all our family and friends."
" Sarah I'm sorry, I can't right now. I have to go pull myself together."
" Is everything okay? Is there anything that I can do?"
" No Sarah this is something that I have to do on my own."
"Alright, but hurry back, we have all these guests."
Jack knew in his heart that he could not pull himself together alone, he needed help and there was only one person that could put him back together at least for a moment.
Jack went flying through the house, most of the maids were in the kitchen or out serving the guests, but he never wanted Kate to be one of servants that served him and his guests. It would be too painful to see her in that light and not be able to go up to her.
Finally he found her she was hidden away in a little room washing clothes looking so tired and worn out.
He was so desperate to find her that he was unaware that he just busted in the tiny room startling her.
" Oh God Jack you scared the living daylights out of me." Kate was clutching onto her heart almost as if Jack had given her a heart attack.
Jack began pacing back and fourth, words were coming out of his mouth a mile a minute, Kate could barley keep up with what he was saying.
" I can't to it anymore Kate! These people, I hate them and then I look at myself I realize that I am one of them and it makes me sick. I don't even know who I am. All day long I just walk around feeling empty and cold I don't know how to make it stop. Now, that I have lost my precious son I don't know how to keep moving."
Kate stood up from her spot on the floor and grabbed Jack by the arms to make him look at her. "Jack you need to slow down. My God you're soaking wet! Come on sit down and lets get you out of these wet clothes and I will get you some nice clean ones."
Jack sat down as Kate removed his suit jacket . He was calming down from his rant and he found that focusing on her was easing his state of mind. Kate was about to leave the room to go get him a dry shirt, but he did not want to be alone with his own mind driving him crazy.
" Wait Kate! I don't want to be alone right now. Please will you just come over here?"
He looked so sad and scared, but to be honest with herself it was those big brown eyes that tore right through her soul and they where the real reason she could never say no to him. Kate then slowly approached him and knelt down in front of him.
"Kate I just buried my little boy today and I will never again get to see his smile or his laugh or have him tell me one of his crazy stories that he made up. Out there beyond this room there is a house full of people and somehow I have to put myself together and go give a speech about Joseph."
Jack paused for a moment then he continued.
" Kate I never told you this, but whenever I felt overcome by work, or my sons, or my wives, or any other issues life would throw at me no matter how little or big the stress and pain could be there was one thing that always made feel better ,that was holding you Kate. There was something just so simple and pure about having you in my arms it gave me such an inner peace. I know that I have no right to ask, but would you mind if I held you? I just feel if I'm about to fall into this black abyss of nothingness if I don't hold onto something true."
"Okay." Kate whispered trying to not show how much his words were tearing down all her walls that she built just for him.
Jack then reached down for her lifting her up so she was sitting across his lap. He wrapped his arms around her holding on for dear life.
Having her in his arms after all these years just felt so right. He could not even put into words why it made him feel stronger of man than he actually was. At the same time he felt safe having her in his arms, maybe it was due to the fact he worried so much about her safety all these years and felt that he was unable to properly care and protect her. Now that Kate was safe in his arms it gave him a sense that he could protect her.
Jack then began to rub small circles on her back, neither one of them saying a word; all that could be heard was the rain that was falling heavy on the roof.
Kate knew that she was bringing him a sense of tranquility to his state of being as he had his strong arms around her and her head was lying on his chest and the sounds of his heart beat making her relax. Kate had nothing on her mind other than Jack and his strong arms that where holding her close. She was not worrying about Gracie, getting all her choirs done, or if her and Tom's plan would even work.
While Jack was still wide awake Kate was about to drift off to sleep. The hard days work getting to her more than she even realized. He was content to just watch her as she slept.
Then a faint cry could be heard in the background and Kate's eye flashed open.
"That is Gracie Jack I have to go find her."
"Kate that could be anybody it is so far away. You are so tired I saw you and you could barley keep your eyes open. Why don't you just try and get some sleep."
"No Jack what if it is her. My little girl needs me."
Just with that Kate was off his lap in search for Gracie. Jack was not far behind her after he found a clean dry shirt.
They found Gracie not to far away in the hallway wondering around crying for her mother. Once Gracie saw Kate she ran into her arms.
" Shh its okay baby girl, Gracie can you tell mommy what happened?" Kate held Gracie close to her letting the little girl know that she was not going anywhere.
" Mommy I didn't know that I was bad. I was just hungry."
" It is okay Gracie I'm not mad at you. Can you tell me what happened?"
Gracie nodded her little head, "My tummy hurt and all I wanted was some of the food that was out. I took a cookie and I got yelled at by an adult and they said that I was a dirty little girl was not allowed any food and they told me that I was very bad." Gracie than began crying again into her mother's shoulder.
Kate could have killed herself for forgetting to feed Gracie lunch. Kate never wanted to give her daughter the lesson that she was not allowed certain things in life just because she was the daughter of a servant, even though all the other mothers that were servants did so. Kate wanted her daughter to know that she was special and had every right in the world no matter the world said.
" Gracie this is not your fault I should have fed you. Look at me Gracie you did nothing wrong, you are not a bad or dirty girl, you are the most beautiful and special girl I know!"
Jack looked at the scene in front of him and it broke his heart that his own daughter could not even get any of his food, but complete strangers that called themselves his friends could.
"Kate take Gracie back to the room that we where just in. I want you to start a fire and don't worry about your choirs I will have someone else do them."
" Jack I really need to get those done! Juliet will have my head if I don't."
"I will take care of Juliet. You take care of our daughter I will be back soon."
Thirty minutes later Jack returned with two large blankets and four very fluffy large pillows, he laid them all out on the floor.
"Jack what are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"
" No Kate I have not lost my mind and just hold on for one second."
Then he disappeared out of the room again. Then he reappeared with a giant plate stacked high with food from the party that he had Rose make for him, not telling Rose that it was for Kate and Gracie as well.
" Gracie I know that it is raining outside, but how do you feel about an inside picnic?"
At this the Gracie ,who had yet to show a smile since they found her crying ,got very excited at all the food her new friend Jack was holding.
"I would love to!" smiled Gracie who was still very much hungry.
Jack knew that he would get hell from Sarah and his father, who would have to give the speech and play host for him, about not entertaining his guests. The more time that he spent with Kate and Gracie he found that he cared less and less about what he was suppose to do.
Time had escaped them as the darkness fell upon them, the light of the fire illuminating the room. Gracie was fast asleep with her head on one of the pillows.
" Thanks Jack for today. Gracie really needed this; she was just so sad and could not get those words out of her head. Then you show up with more food than we can even eat and everything is better."
" I really should be the one thanking you two. Everything today was amazing, I feel like you might have saved my soul from going to a very dark place." Jack said being completely honest with her.
Kate was not sure how to respond, it was such a heartfelt statement almost more than she was willing to deal with right now, but then she caught a glimpse of the dark sky through the pouring rain.
" Oh my God look at how dark it is. I really need to get us back and to bed."
" Kate you are not going anywhere in this weather. You and Gracie will spend the night here."
" Jack I'm not allowed to, do you know how much trouble I could get in?"
" Well I don't know if you remember or not, but I am the Master of this house and if I say that you can sleep here then you can sleep here. If it makes you feel better you can sleep in one of the guest rooms that is tucked away and no one ever goes into. That way no one will even know that you two spent the night."
"Alright then, but just know the only reason I'm saying yes is for Gracie. I would not want her catching a cold being out in this rain."
Jack smiled back at her and then he picked up Gracie without waking her and showed Kate to the room. Then he went and got fresh clean clothes for them.
Like a gentleman he turned around as Kate dressed herself and Gracie in the clean clothes. Jack then came and tucked Gracie in who never woke from her slumber and gave her a kiss on the head. By the time he made it to Kate she was already fast asleep , but he still bent down he gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead as well.
"Goodnight to my girls. I love you both, probably more than you will ever know." Jack whispered.
He thought that they both were asleep as he said the words, but they were last words that Kate heard before sleep claimed her.