Chapter 21

Okay, so let me start with "I am terribly sorry my good lords and ladies". Life has gotten in the way of my writing, seeing as I just recently started college and fanfiction quite literally dropped from my mind entirely. But I'm back, yay! A lot has happened since my last post: a few months have gone by, a few awards have been won, I probably ticked a few people off with my uncompleted story....yeah. LOTS.

So, here is chapter 21, hopefully there will be many more to come until this is finished. And thank you guys again for voting for my story, because (awhile ago) this fiction won best action/adventure here at the Dokuga awards. It was really awesome and just because I was busy doing my own things for awhile doesn't mean I'm not extremely grateful :-)

So thanks for being you (insert cheesy smile and thumbs up gesture).

Just a few hours ago, Kagome thought to herself in a hysterical sort of panic. Just a few hours ago I woke up IN SESSHOUMARU'S ARMS. Well, arm...technically, but who cares! He was HOLDING me. It wasn't even raining anymore! Why was he still holding me? And why, why do I think I liked it? No, I most definitely didn't like it. It was horrible. Mortifying. Oh, who am I kidding? I thought I was dreaming I liked it so much!

Kagome looked up from her hands and chanced a peak at the object of her current thoughts; he was still staring at her.

Just staring.

He had been staring at her ever since she woke up!

Kagome gave him a shaky smile and submerged her face in her hands once again. I'm sick. I'm a sick, sick ticket, that's what I am! What is wrong with me? I shouldn't like sitting in his lap and just where the hell does he get off letting me sit there? Stupid jerk, I was all relaxed and comforted just because he saved me from getting rained to death. What a bastard! He should've just dumped me back onto the ground as soon as it was over, but noooooo, he just let me sleep. Holding me and staring at me with that stupid look on his impeccable face. She ranted to herself. He's still staring at me! Why won't he stop!

Kagome peaked up from her hands once more.

"Miko, are you feeling better?" He asked monotonously.

Kagome squeaked and shook her head vigorously, once again taking refuge in her hands, obviously taking a liking to the ostrich mentality: if you can't see them, they can't see you. Yes, apparently she had been reduced to the basic instincts of an overgrown chicken, and in reality that's exactly what she was. A big, scaredy chicken too afraid of intimacy - no matter how unintentional it may have been - to face it. She had told him she didn't feel well, that her head hurt and that they should take a break for a little while.

In actuality, Kagome felt just fine, but the lie gave her much needed time to "flip a shit". Something she was currently doing spectacularly. She had woken up, all happy and oblivious, and then she opened her eyes to find herself quite intimately entwined in Sesshoumaru's lap. At first it was bliss, like some part of her brain decided that this was all very swell and that she should be enjoying this. And then she did the worst thing possible: she smiled at him. SHE ACTUALLY LOOKED UP AND SMILED!

It was then that she remembered this was Sesshoumaru, it was also when she screamed, toppled out of his lap, and decided to start hiding.

"Head ache! I have a head ache!" She had told him when he appeared to be mildly alarmed by her behavior. "It'll go away, just give me a second."

But all the seconds in the world could not undo what she had done, and what she had done was apparently developed some sort of sick, twisted crush on her true love's brother and fallen asleep in his lap like a lonely dog.

I wish the lightning would come back and strike me down, she decided. Then I would be nothing more that a scorching pile of ashes. At least ashes can't be mortified, or horrified, or terrified...or something else ending in "fied".

"I'm feeling...weird." Kagome finally managed to get out. She sighed and lifted her head from her hands for the last time and turned towards the stoic youkai lord.

"I do not believe I understand your ailment," Sesshoumaru said slowly, obviously trying not to sound unsympathetic, though, Kagome didn't know why.

Why is he being nice? Shouldn't he be dismembering me for sleeping on him? Then again he didn't try and stop me...maybe he liked it too? No, that can't be it. She argued with herself. Wait, what if he knows I liked it? Oh no! That's probably it! He knows I've got a weird, creepy crush on him and now things are gonna be really awkward and oh no, oh no, oh no!

Now, Sesshoumaru was not an unintelligent fellow - he knew a lie when he was given one, and the miko was not a spectacular liar to start with. Oh yes, he was aware that she did not have a 'headache', and he was also aware that she was hiding from him. What he did not know, was why he suddenly felt like hiding too.

When the priestess had awoke in his arms he did not know how she would react, really he hadn't given it much thought. It wasn't until she toppled out of his arms screaming and looking as though she had just seen Naraku himself, that he realized the enormity of the situation. He had been cradling her while she slept even though there was no longer a need to be continuing such an act. He hadn't meant to, but truth be told, it never occured to him that he should let her go. It felt so natural to have her in his arms.

But it was not natural. It was wrong, very wrong, and her reaction lead him to believe that she agreed.

"Miko, this afternoon was unexpectedly eventful," he said carefully. "I believe exhaustion is to be expected under such circumstances. Do you agree?"

Kagome nearly lost her jaw, it popped open so fast. He was actually giving her an out. He was telling her that he knew she was freaked out about sleeping in his lap and that he was just going to overlook it.

"U-uh, y-yeah," she stammered, grasping at her words like a lifeline. "I agree."

Sesshoumaru gave her one last calculating stare before nodding stiffly and standing. "Come, we must continue. If we do not encounter further delays we should reach our destination by sundown tomorrow."

The rest of the day passed by quickly, night fell within a few hours and Kagome's inability to traverse even flat, objectless surfaces in the dark made it impossible to travel any further. Besides, Kagome was exhausted and sleep was the perfect escape from not only her aching limbs, but her thoughts as well. She didn't even ask Sesshoumaru to put the healing salve on her back, she just passed out on the ground.

But this night, the demon lord would not be indulging in such activities. No, tonight, Sesshoumaru had some thinking to do.

Now, when Sesshoumaru had a problem he liked to deal with it with all due expediency - unlike a certain lightly snoring miko - and Sesshoumaru's problem on this night was by far one of the largest he had attempted to tackle in a very long while.

What do I do about the miko? He asked himself, the question echoing in his head as though he would never find a suitable answer. Some deep, primal part of him surged to the surface and produced a very...graphic image of what he would like to do to said miko, but it was quickly repressed. It was simply unthinkable...wasn't it?

Sesshoumaru growled at his back tracking thoughts - of course it was unthinkable. She was a ningen, and even worse, she was his brother's ningen. She was weak and vile and so very many things he detested.

But, she isn't so weak, he reminded himself, his eyes drifting to her sleeping form to the very spot he knew her scars lay. No, she wasn't weak. She was not vile either. In fact, she was probably the only creature on the entire planet whom he could tolerate. Even Rin wore on his nerves after a few days to the point where he needed a reprieve, yet the miko always kept him coming back for more. Yes, Kagome was probably the only creature he would ever choose as company, and he hated company...except for hers.

It was all so frustrating, he decided. Kagome was so very many things that he had never known anyone - let alone a human - could be. And today something had happened, something had clicked inside him as he held her in his embrace, something that felt like it had been building for quite sometime. Now it was here, and gods he just wanted it to go away, to unclick whatever had fallen into place because this was all so very confusing.

The proud, wise taiyoukai had never been so completely shaken. Thoughts ran through his mind at incomprehensible speeds, none of them seeming to make any sense. Images of Kagome falling in battle, of him trying to save her but being too late. They made him furious and stabbed him from the inside out. And then there were other images, images of Kagome against him, beneath him. They made him angry and they made him want and they made him weak.

He hated it. He hated himself. He hated her...at least he wished he did. Hatred was so much easier than whatever it was that he felt for her now.

How could she have disturbed him so? She had never been extraordinary in the time he knew her before this quest had begun, she had never left more than a fleeting impression in his once stable life. He barely bothered to remember her name before this, and now he knew that for as long as he lived, he would never forget it. He would never want to forget it.

She was a simple human, albeit a human with an unusual ability to traverse time, but a miniscule onna nonetheless. When he had first met her she had picked up a bow, fired a badly aimed arrow, and called herself an archer. She was completely insignificant; he could have eviscerated her without a second thought should he have tried. Even when he did try to kill her, it was not her own power that saved her, simply the sword she happened to be holding.

Luck, it was all luck. She was a lucky girl, but by no means was she gifted in anything other than brash stupidity. In fact, had this quest not brought them together, he doubted she would have ever captured his attention. He would never have noticed her, she would have never taken such a firm stance in his life.

She was not extraordinarily powerful, she was not extraordinarily beautiful, and even though she did seem to have a somewhat rare personality, kindness was not an unheard of trait to hold.

So what was it? What about her held his attention in such a way that no other had managed? She may be good hearted enough to overlook social or racial biases, but he wasn't. She was nothing more than a human commoner - how had she so drastically disrupted his world?

Perhaps it was the fact that she wasn't extraordinarily powerful or strong, but that she tried to be anyway: she gave everything she had even when she knew it would never be enough. Or that she was imperfect and rash and determined to help no matter the cost, because she was uncommonly kind. Maybe it was because she never labeled anyone, she never saw him as Lord Sesshoumaru, she treated him as her equal when they were so obviously mismatched on every level.

And perhaps, this was a question he may never be able to answer.

No matter the cause, Sesshoumaru knew that his feelings for the miko - whatever they were - could not be reversed. They had been intertwined, now all that was left to find out was how they would continue to grow. Where would their strange relationship lead, and more importantly, what would it lead to? Sesshoumaru's claws cut into his skin as he thought, his face remaining as blank as ever as he fought a war within himself.

This is something I do not know, he sighed, unclenching his fists to look at the sleeping girl once again. Perhaps...perhaps that is something only she can decide.

And so, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the West, sat back and waited for a simple, human girl to lead him.

Chapter Note:

I am a horrid author

For making you wait so long

I would understand if you were furious

And ate me like King Kong