Annyeong! I'm back.
There were a few things that I forgot to mention in the last chapter.
Everyone's younger. SS501 are in their teens.
My blogTV link didn't work so here it is;
www. Blogtv. Com/people/modestyblaise
- delete the spaces, and I'm on every Wednesday from 4:30 to 5PM MELBOURNE/SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA TIME. I don't know what the time will be wherever you are in the world.
I can't update very much. Yes, its almost holidays over here, but I have a 50 page math holiday homework booklet to do, and I have to study for English, try and find myself another Japanese tutor, then for Christmas, I'm going to Queensland, and I won't have internet access. (Though my uncle's a professional author… I'll get some help from him for this)
Thanks for listening guys.
On with the story of cheesyness!
His expression changed from "what the fuck is a little girl doing here?" to shocked. His eyes widened, and his head snapped up to look at me, from looking at his feet. He hugged me.
"So you're my Hoko-koi… I though it was you" he said and chuckled. "You look so the same, yet so different. Maybe its because your older." He let go of me, with tears slowly welling up in his eyes. His deep stare was so hypnotic. "Do you know how I felt after you left?" he asked me. By this point, a tiny wet tear slid down his face. I couldn't wipe it away. I just couldn't. Even though I had found him again, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stay with him could I? I didn't want to go back to Okaa-san and Otou-san. "I was devastated. I couldn't take it. Mimori thought she had me to herself. Though, you were the only one for me." He began to lean down towards me. I stepped back, quite surprised.
"Just… Just don't tell Okaa-san and Otou-san I'm back. I have to keep moving." I told him seriously. I stood there for 5 more seconds, completely silent. I was surprised he didn't try to make another move on me.
"Neh… Sang Hee ah! Where are you Sang He ah?" I heard in the distance. Was it my imagination I was hearing Jung Min's voice calling for me? I looked towards Shi-koi and questioned;
"Neh, Shi-koi, what's your real name?" he looked at me with his tear-stained face and replied;
"S-Suzuki" he stuttered. "Shoo Suzuki. And you Hoko-koi?"
"Mizuki" I replied. "Honami Mizuki or Kim Sang Hee." His eyes widened at this, finding out I was the Korean superstar at 13. "I'd prefer Sang Hee. I left Mizuki-san behind, long ago."
Jung Min, covered in sweat, and completely out of breath, came running into the clearing I was at screaming "Sang Hee Ah! Sang Hee Ah – quickly, we must go! You have to get ready now!" he then grabbed my hand, making me blush, and ran for his life away.
I was sitting in my messy dressing room, getting caked with makeup. There had never been a pimple on my face, ever, so I don't really see why I need it. Eventually, my makeup artist had finished, and I had to do my hair. It was a simple style. Teased, and in a pony tail, high on my head. I was listening to one of the songs that I had collected over the years.
Have you ever felt
Ever felt like this?
It feels almost like holding a wolf by it's ears
It's not finding the door, it's finding a resolution
The song describes me perfectly for this moment.
If you've never felt
Never felt like this
If you knew what you're missing
There's so much to miss
Your face to the floor
The sounds of the armies moving
I'll leave a note
Down in a box by your bed
And we'll never know where you've been
Or how this red flag's in your hand
Have you ever felt
Felt so flexible?
Like elastic we bend and like snowflakes we fall
If we can't find the door
How will we end this motion?
Have you ever seen
Such a perfect scene
They're all trying so hard just to say what they mean
And watching them fail is like watching an execution
I remembered Shou. Him playing his Violin, and I singing along to it.
I'll leave a note
Down in a box by your bed
And we'll never know where you've been
Or how this red flag's in your hands
In your hands
In your hands
Your hands...
This red flag
In your hands [x8]
I'll leave a note
Down in a box by your bed
And we'll never know where you've been
Or how this red flag's in your hands
I'll leave a note
Down in a box by your bed
And we'll never know where you've been
Or how this red flag that you...
This red flag that you...
This red flag that you...
This red flag that you hold in your hands
I felt a tear slide down my perfectly made up face. Hopefully not screwing up my makeup.
I got changed slowly, with help from my hair and makeup artist, into my long sleeved black gothic Lolita dress. It was the perfect song for Wahrheit. It was sooner than I thought, that I was due to start. Though I really didn't want to after the days events, I had to.
I walked onto the pitch black stage and crouched down in the middle. The backstage guy turned on the ice machine, and made the stage all misty, so it looked more realistic for the song.
"Ladies and Gentlemen" the announcer said in Japanese. "I now present to you; Kim Sang Hee!" he screamed.
My music started, as the lights slowly rose, showing myself, crouched in a ball in the middle of a mist.
inishie no daiza ni wa mitama ga yadoru to iu
okizari no Eine Krone hibiku
tsumi no kazu hodo utsukushiku
I jumped up from my crouched position, to face the audience of Japanese.
migite de kuu ni kakageta uso de mitashita seikai
irodoru yoru wo toraete tsumi wo azamuku shi no mitsu
chinurareta tsuki wa ayatsurarete
nomihoshita uso ni shihai sareru
inochi no kachi wo shi de hakaru nara
hokorashiku hohoemi yukeru deshou
saigo no kusabi de warera ni hikari wo
hane no you ni makichirashita tsumi ga
shizuku to natte furisosoide
hokoritakaku haishita karadagoto
subete wo tsutsunde mitama wo tsurete yuke
karada no oku ni shikonda kako wo aganau imashime
honto no kotae sagashite toki wo akairo ni somete
sabitsuita kagi ni madowasarete
kojiaketa toki wa nemutta mama
chikai no kotodama wo sakebu nara
itetsuita tobira mo tokeru deshou
saigo no kusabi de warera ni hikari wo
tori no you ni maiodoru mitama yo
hikari to natte furisosoide
hokoritakaku haishita karadagoto
subete wo tsutsunde tamayobi inori uta
yagate toki wa yuki uta wo wasuresaru koro
ao no daiza no ue de kudakechitte yuku deshou
hane no you ni makichirashita Eine Krone
shizuku to natte furisosoide
hokoritakaku haishita karadagoto
subete wo tsutsunde mitama yo kaerisake
(Yousei Teikoku – Wahrheit – I do not own)
I walked to the back of the stage whilst at the end of the song, and then posed as it ended.
"Arigatou gozaimasu!" I said into the microphone, then I added "Its been 7 years since I've been in Japan" I knew it was a bad idea when I saw someone in the audience stand and look at me.
It was Shou.
I ignored the face that he was there, and continued talking.
"As far as I remember, Tokyo is a beautiful place. I haven't ha a chance to look around, and see whats changed." I stopped. I looked to the side to see Hyung, Jung Min, Young Saeng, Hyung Joon, and Kyu Jong waiting for me to get off the stage. I said into the microphone, relieved, "Are you ready for SS501!" and the crowd roared in excitement. I walked off as they ran on. I couldn't help but to look at Jung Min form the sidelines. Though I was two years younger than him, I wish he would notice how much I like him sometimes. As he spun around, he looked at me and smiled. It was an extremely sweet smile, very sincere. I automatically blushed, not expecting it, and ran back to my dressing room.
I changed and uncaked my face of makeup. I smiled to myself in the giant mirror on the wall used for makeup and hair uses.
Double S finished their song, and Jung min came straight to my dressing room, and sat down.
"Why are you so fretted by Japan?" he asked. "Its like you've been another person since we got on the plane to come here. Then today, you were with this weird blue haired man. Am I the only one that thinks that's weird? WHats up?" he gave me an adorable pout, and I had to resist myself from kissing him.
"Do you really want to know" I asked him, and he slightly nodded. "you know how Hyun Joong is my Hyung yeah?" I asked him, and he nodded, thinking about an answer. I interrupted his train of thought, and continued. "I was adopted by Hyung's family. I'm originally from Japan. I ran away when I was a kid." This startled him, so I said no more.
'b-but you know perfect Korean…" he stuttered, rather confused.
I nodded. "I began learning it from Hyung when I was 5. I talked to him in Japanese, and that's how he learnt it." I said. "Hyung has been gr-"
I was cut off by my dressing room door bursting open. I stood quickly, and rather scared. There were four strangers, all puffing. Shou was one of them, along with a young girl, around my age, with long black hair, and deep hazel eyes.
"What the hell is going on here?" I screamed. The guards that should have taken them at the door, grabbed their arms and pulled them behind their backs.
Jung Min, at this point, also stood. Shou then breathed out "Honomi… no… Please don't leave me again. Don't leave us." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.
"We're your family Hoko-chan" the older male said.
My tears spilt over. I let out a shaky breath, then said "No Shou. None of you are my family. Hyung is my family now. I don't care who you brought along, because all you are to me, are Japanese fans of Kim Sang Hee. Oh and Shou?" he looked at me with a questioning expression. "My name isn't Honami, or Hoko-chan" I said looking at the older man that looked a lot like my father. "now get the fuck out of my dressing room." I screamed. Jung Min looked at me, only understanding some of what I said. The guards dragged them out and one closed the door as the younger girl screamed;
"I believe you'll come back to us Hoko-chan! You will no matter what. If its not by choice, it'll be by force." I laughed. A nervous laugh, my eyes still watery from when Shou burst in. I sighed and sat back down. Jung Min looked at me. I was slowly tearing up again. Jung Min embraced me in a tight, comforting hug, allowing me to wet his performance clothing with my tears.
For the rest of that week, I didn't come out of the hotel room, unless I had a concert. I didn't want to have to face Hyung or Jung Min. I knew they would constantly question me about things I don't want to bring up, though Jung Min came in often (because he had to share the room with me) and Hyung came often, to check up on me. I wouldn't speak. Not to him, or Jung Min. I would only speak to the audience, and to my manager. Because I wouldn't speak to him, Hyung made assumptions.
The closest one he got to was that I loved Shou and I didn't want him to know who I was.
It was something like that, but a past crush. A really old one. As Hyung said that, Jung Min had a really sad expression creeping over his face. I mentally noted and questioned it. I started writing a new song, expressing my feelings for the exact moment. Unlike Wahrheit, this one was in Korean.
Saehayan byeolbichi nunmureul gamsaya
Ddaddeuthan barame nunmuri naeryeoyo
Geudae neugginayo
Joyonghi soksakineun geudaereul hyanghan I ddeolrimeul
Hayan jongiwee geudael geuryeoyo
Ddaddeuthan misoga nal anajoneyo
Ige sarangingayo
Du nuneul gama bwado geudaeman boineun geolyo
I'll be waiting for you geu dael gidarilgeyo
Deo isang apeun nunmul boiji aneulraeyo
You let me know geojitmal gateun sarang
Nochi aneul guh ehyo balo geudeh ni ggayo
Saehayan byeolbichi nunmureul gamsaya
Ddaddeuthan barame nunmuri naeryeoyo
Geudae neugginayo
Joyonghi soksakineun geudaereul hyanghan I ddeolrimeul
Geudaewaye gieok sokeul geotgo isseoyo
Gaseumsok gadeukhi nunmuri goyeoyo
Na eoddeotge hajyo
Ggumsokeseodojocha geudaereul geuriweohaeyo
I'll be waiting for you geudael gidarilgeyo
Deo isang apeun nunmul boiji aneulraeyo
You let me know geojitmal gateun sarang
Nochi aneul guh ehyo balo geudeh ni ggayo
Nal barabwa jweoyo jeogi jeo byeoldeulcheoreom
Naemamui geudaega dweeojul su eobnayo
I'll be waiting for you geudael gidarilgeyo
Deo isang apeun nunmul boiji aneulraeyo
You let me know geojitmal gateun sarang
Nochi aneul guh ehyo balo geudeh ni ggayo
(Starlight Tears – BOF – I don't know the real singer – its from Boys Over Flowers (Korean drama) though)
Hyung looked over at what I was writing and was almost instantly sad I didn't tell him about something. I then flipped the sheet over and scribbled 'I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything. But without JM around' He nodded and I stood and left, not being able to stand the aura in that room.
I didn't know where I wanted to go. I just had to get out of that room. Hyung upset that I hadn't told him something, and Jung Min, presumably, jealous. Though I promised Hyung I'd tell him about my past, I couldn't yet. I was still quite shaken up from when Shou and the three strangers came bursting into my dressing room.
"I believe you'll come back to us Hoko-chan! You will no matter what. If its not by choice, it'll be by force." The dark haired girl's words continued through my mind.
I ended up at a ramen shop. It was small but rather cozy, and busy. I walked in and ordered, obviously ramen. It was quick to arrive, and I began eating. I was about halfway through it, when I heard wherever I went.
"Its Sang Hee-sama!" someone screamed.