After about ten minutes of basking in the afterglow, I roll onto my side and stare at the silver haired angel lying beside me. His eyes are closed and he is breathing softly, almost asleep. I bring my hand up and stroke the silver locks that fall over his face away, then I lean over and plant a soft kiss on his forehead. His eyes flutter open and milky green orbs dart about, I smile, he is so heavenly, just like Sephiroth.

"You might want to go get a shower, that stuffs a pain to clean off once it really dries." I run my hand down his flat stomach. He nods his head and then stretches his arms over his head, the strong muscles of his stomach ripple under my hand. I watch him sit up and then climb off the bed, I can't help but stair as his attractive body walks away from me, I have to stop myself from chuckling as I see my own dried essence clung to his upper thigh. He goes into the bathroom and I have to banish the naughty thought that enters my mind, I've already crossed enough lines today, you are not adding showering with him to that list. After he closes the door I climb off the bed and begin to gather up our various discarded clothes, tossing his into the hamper and tossing my own over and shoulder as I pick up my boots. I take one more sidelong glance at the bathroom door before shaking my head, no Genesis, NO!

I head to my neglected bedroom and toss my clothes into my own hamper and toss my boots in the direction of my closet before heading for my own shower. I turn the water on, then turn and look at myself in the mirror. Thats when it hits me, an old nemesis, guilt.

'What did you just do Genesis?'

I hang my head, and sigh.

'You couldn't hold yourself back huh? Had fuck him. You could hand handed him the bottle of lube and told him how to take care of it himself.'

"He needed me."

'Then you could have at least stopped at blowing him. But nooooo you had to take that ass.'

"I haven't gotten any in 11 years! 11 god damn years!" I realize I am yelling at a mirror and turn and get into the shower. I let the hot water beat down on my face and chest.

'You could have waited, now you have gone and complicated your relationship.'

I turn and let the water beat down on my back, I set my forehead on the cool tiled wall and sigh.

"I know..."

'You said you would protect him, but who is going to protect him from you?'

"Its not like that!" I bang my fist on the wall, have I lost it? Am I arguing with myself?

'Not to mention if it really is Sephiroth who started this, then you played exactly into his plan. And what happens when you do what the Sadist wants?'

"They always come back for more..."

'What will you do then? Rape him again?'

"I didn't rape him! He could have stopped me, I told him that!"

'He didn't understand what was happening, you took advantage of him.'

I bite down on my lower lip, its the truth, I could have, should have stopped, but I didn't...and why the hell am I arguing with myself? I turn around and snatch up the shampoo bottle and start to wash my hair.

'Pervert.'

Shut up. I rinse the shampoo out of my hair and then pick up the soap bottle.

'Innocence stealer.'

SHUT UP! I loose my temper and throw the bottle, it smashes against the wall then rebounds hitting me before clattering to my feet...

"Genesis..." I hear his soft voice, "Is everything ok?" I left the door to my room and bathroom open, and he heard me.

"Everything is fine, I'll be out in a minute..." I try to reign in my temper, I wonder how much he heard. Just what I need, Yazoo thinking I hear voices, not that its all that far fetched for us. I take a deep breath and lean down and pick up the bottle before pouring some of the liquid into my hand and washing my body.

I keep reminding myself he is ok, he was fine when he went to take a shower, I was gentle with him, and even if I had been a bit rough he would have been ok. I shudder remembering an incident involving myself on the receiving end of one of Sephiroth rare Anger turned Lust incidents, by the time Angeal had found me most of my injuries had mostly healed over. I take another deep breath and let the water wash the soap off me before turning it off and stepping out. As I start toweling myself off I remember that next day how Sephiroth had came to apologize, I didn't hate him, I never could hate him.

I towel myself off and move into my room and pull out some comfortable clothes to wear, deciding on a pair of soft lounge pants and for the moment forgoing a shirt while my hair is still damp. I walk out into the living room and he is sitting where I always find him, the couch, its like a sanctuary to him, and I can't fathom why. I sit down beside him and place a hand on his.

"Are you ok?" I'm not just asking about his physical wellbeing, but his mental as well, he sits on precarious ledge, a ledge I know well, one wrong step and you can be sent spiraling into an endless darkness, a deep lonely darkness.

He turns his hand over and grasps mine, "Yes, thank you."

I know he is lying, but sometimes you just have to let people tell you whats really bothering them in their own time. Angeal always told me not to pry when it came to Sephiroth, he was a very private person, and it seemed Yazoo was much the same.