Cannonball Run 6: Full Throttle

by Magick Tricks

Cannonballers from the past and new Cannonballers gather for the next Cannonball Run. This time with a four hundred million grand prize. Eveyone would want that amount of cash. Even for their own evil purposes.

4. Cannonball Warrior!

I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

Author's Note: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I've been playing World of Warcraft and it has been addicting. Very addicting.

Chapter 4: Cannonball Warrior!

Tim Glomb and Brandon Novak broke free of the crates they were in. Both looked to see if the coast is clear.

"Is it clear Novak?" Tim asked.

"Yeah. Let's get out of this garage and to the party." Novak said. When they climbed out and got out of the trailer, they were caught by Phil and Ryan.

"Oh hi guys!" Tim said.

"What are you guys doing here?" Phil asked.

"We wanted to race the Cannonball with you guys." Novak said. "So we snuck aboard. So here we are. Suprised?"

---

The usual Ninja Warrior intro is played on the jumbotron. Only the faces of Cannonballers of the past are pasted over the ninjas' faces. Then it goes back to the stage. With Olivia, Kevin and GLaDOS. There is a huge applause from the crowd.

"Alright! Welcome to Cannonball Warrior!" Kevin said. "Our commentator for Cannonball Warrior is GLaDOS. You ready GLaDOS?"

"As ready as I'll ever be Kevin."

"Good because start us off with our first contestant!"

"First up is Captain Chaos. A Cannonball regular. This year's Captain Chaos is Andy Washburn, a police officer. He is a member of Team Chaos."

"Alright let's see how he does, shall we?" Kevin said as Captain Chaos walked out to the first stage, a military obstecle course.

Captain Chaos begins his run.

"Chaos begins his run! He makes it past the tires and wall! Now he's at the hard part, the hurdles! If he falls into the water now, he's eliminated!"

Chaos makes it to the monkey bars and successfully makes it to the other side. Then begins the rope climbe obstecle. He makes it to the top and craws along the rope net or the Spider Web. The goal is in sight.

"He's almost there!" GLaDOS exclaims. "He makes it! He makes it through Stage One!"

"The latest Captain Chaos makes it to Stage Two." Kevin says as Emma is shown getting ready for her run. "Next up this Canadian tries her luck to honor her homecountry. By winning Cannonball Warrior."

Emma stands ready for the airhorn to blow. When it does she begins her run.

"Emma Nelson is starting! She makes it past the wall with some difficulty! She begins climbing over the hurdles! Making sure she doesn't fall into the water! Now she's going across the monkey bars! She's at the rope climb, now the Spider Web! Yes she clocks in! She moves on to Stage 2!"

Peter Griffin is up next. He begins his run but falls into the water on the monkey bars.

"Here comes Sean Boswell." Kevin said. "He's a drift racer from Tokyo."

Sean begins his run and eventually makes it to the finish.

"He wins! So far only one has not advanced to the next round!" GLaDOS said.

"But we still have a lot more that have to try their hand GLaDOS." Kevin said.

"Well let's see who is next." Kevin looked at his notes. "We have Monster Garage host Jesse James."

Jesse James makes his run and makes it to the other side of the obstecle course.

Author's Note: Since we all know what the course is like for Stage 1. I'm just going to run down the list of who makes it and who doesn't. It is becoming stale and I'm tired of repeating myself.

Ginger Clarkson makes it across to reach Stage 2. Pikachu and Amanda Kauffman make it to the end as well. Pikachu actually jumps from hurdle to hurdle.

Bart Simpson and Master Chief make it to Stage 2. However Jack Carter isn't so lucky. He only makes it to the hurdles and falls in. He trips on a hurdle and that causes him to make a splash, literally.

"(My strength will make you cry!)" Kintaros said as he came out possesing Ryotaro. He makes it to Stage 2. Jimmy Hughes makes it to Stage 2 as well. Garu and Dave make their runs successful. However Dave has the slowest time. Because he too a long time on the walls and hurdles. Ron Weasley isn't athletic and only makes it to the hurdles. Where he runs into a hurdle and falls in. Despite being a detective with the NYPD Major Case Squad, Robert Goren gets tired at the Spider Web and falls in due to fatigue. Looks like Goren needs to lay off the donuts.

Marcus Damon and Agumon make it to Stage 2. Agumon ran under the hurdles. Nobody seemed to care. Marcus blames his success on his will to be the Ultimate Fighter. When asked by Kevin if Marcus has plans to join UFC after high school. Marcus merely shrugs his shoulders.

Mario is too fat to make it over the hurdles, Gannondorf's overconfidance was his undoing, Leon Belmont was near the end and he broke the Spider Web. It had to be repaired before the competition can continue.

"I shall win this and prove to Garu that I'm better than him!" Tobe begins his run but isn't watching where he's going. So he smacks into the first wall on the course. Dazed, Tobe falls into the water. Mini Me was next but couldn't climb the wall. So he gives up and purposely eliminates himself, by jumping into the water.

Lobo Gonzalez wasn't watching what he was doing. He was trying to get the Cannonballers motivated and fell in. It was the same for John Cena. Of course Austin spat his beer out in a fine mist and burst into laughter.

Finally Bam Margera was distracted by the arrival of Phil, Novak, Glomb and Ryan. He smacked into a wall and rolled off the side, into the water. Roy Mustang was too pooped to poop by the time he made it to the Spider Web. He fell off and landed in the drink.

---

"Alright! Now it's time for the second round of Cannonball Warrrior!" Kevin said. "But first a word from Mr. Yates."

Brock sat next to Kevin. He turnes to the audience to address them. "Ladies, Gentlemen and Cannonballers... It is a great pleasure to inform you that anyone competing in Cannonball Warrior, will have their overall time shaved off their starting time. That's not all. Those who win Cannonball Warrior will have two days shaved off of their overall Cannonball Time. Don't fear Cannonballers. The winners of Cannonball Warrior may not be the first to the finish line. But they do get their time shaved off by two days. One last thing, with the vehicles being sabotaged earlier, I'm sending my security team out first. So they can give me the green light to send you out. That is all."

"Okay... Well let's bring out our first Cannonball Warrior." Kevin said. He puls out a hat with names in them. "Our first Cannonball Warrior to try Stage 2 is... Ryotaro Nogami! Now remember, Stage 2 is a maze. With areas that a contestant will fall into water. Thus get eliminated."

Ryotaro begins his run through the maze. He eventually falls into a water trap.

"(I should've let Urataros do this!)" Kintaros said.

Jimmy, Dave and Jan all fail their runs, but Emma, Amanda and Garu make it to Stage 3.

"Sean Boswell and Master Chief. You two are up next." a stagehand said. Sean and Chief got up and walked over to the entrance.

Neither Shawn or Master Chief passed Stage 2. In fact they both started to hop over the walls and eventually found the water traps. Finally Bart, Marcus, Agumon amd Jess James failed to make it through the maze.

"We're at the final contestant for this round." Olivia said. "Ladies and gentlemen, please give Captain Chaos a round of applause!"

Chaos ran into the arena and into the maze. Not wasting anytime, he made his way through the maze. As if he knew exactly where he was supposed to go. He eventually made it.

---

"We're at the final round." Kevin said. "The Cannonballers that have made it this far must make across a obstecle course of American Gladiator proportions. This final obstecle course is made up five sections. They are the Gauntlet, the Rolling Log, the Hang Jump, the Warped Wall and the Rope Climb to Heaven. Our Cannonballers will each have their overall time of this competition shaved off their starting time. But only the winners will have two days shaved off of their Cannonball Run time as a whole. To those who didn't make it, you can still win. The winning Cannonballers may waste two days while out on the race. So let's get started on the final round."

"First up is Amanda Kauffman." GLaDOS said. "She begins her run! Oh! She only made it to the Log Roll before falling into the water!"

Amanda begins her run. The Gauntlet is a bunch of padded bags swinging. The object is to run across the narrow path while avoiding them. Amanda does so but she gets to the Log Roll, The Log Roll is a log that the contestant must roll down a rail. The Cannonballer has to try and hold on while it's traveling down. Amanda couldn't hold on and fell into the water.

"Well next up we have Emma." Kevin said. As Emma starts her run. Emma makes it through the Gauntlet and surprisingly the Rolling Log. She eventually makes to the Wapred Jump, half pipe like wall. The object is to climb over it. Emma makes it to the Rope Climb to Heaven. Where she has to climb a rope to the platform above. The platform almost touches the ceiling. Not looking down, Emma makes it and slams down on the button on the goal post.

"OH MY GOD! She is the first winner of Cannonball Warrior!" Kevin screams at the top of his lungs. "SHE IS THE FIRST WINNER OF CANNONBALL WARRIOR!"

"Calm down Kevin." GLaDOS said. "There is still more who have to try and win."

"You're right. It's time now for... Pikachu?" Kevin looks at the name he drew out of the hat. "Pikachu! I choose you!"

Pikachu begins his run. However it is real easy for a electrified rodent to make it across. The Wild River part was a bit of a challenge. Pikachu managed to use his ability to climb walls, to get over the wall. Pikachu then makes it across to the Rope Climb to Heaven. Being a rodent Pokemon gave him the ability to make it up the rope with no trouble. Pikachu clims the goal post and presses the button.

"Another one! Pikachu managed to make it across and made it look easy!"

Next up was Ginger. Who was knocked into the water at the Gauntlet. Garu was up next and he made it to the Rope Climb to Heaven. He couldn't get a good grip on the rope and fell into the drink after making it only a third of the way.

"Alright we have had some of the best try to win and only two have so far made it to the finish." Kevin said. "In my hand is the last name of our finalists. Welcome Captain Chaos into the final stage!"

Captain Chaos ran into the arena and started his run. He actually made it to the end. With everyone giving him a standing ovation for winning Cannonball Warrior.

"Oh my God! We saved the best for last ladies and gentlemen! Now give our winners a round of applause!"

Captain Chaos made his way down the stairs and joined Emma and Pikachu. All three took a bow. Pikachu did his bow on top of Emma's head. Emma blows the Cannonballers a kiss before going back to the back. Where they got even more applause and cheers from the Cannonballers that didn't win.

---

"It's time folks." Kevin said. "It's time to start this year's Cannonball Run. But first let's welcome the man who will start the time clock. Ladies and Gentlemen... Please welcome the President of the United States! President Harris!"

Hail to the Chief is played by Dethklok, which is a death metal version of the song. President Harris then shook hands with the Cannonball Run International Commitee, the ruling body of the Cannonball Run. Then he walked over to the podium.

"Two men walked into a bar. One of them ducked." Harris said. Everyone was silent. "Tough crowd... Well anyway... I'm here tonight to sign the final documents, to start this year's Cannonball Run."

Harris is handed the papers he needed to sign and he pulls out a pen. However this is not a writing pen, but instead is a laser pointer pen. A powerful laser pointer pen. He turns it on and the red laser beam goes off. Shreading everything that is in the way. Including a few cameras, the bottles of alcohol on the middle shelf of the bar, and finally the walls of Hanger 1.

"Sorry about that. Someone gave me the latest in laser pointers. A laser pointer that can actually cut through just about anything. Can I have a actual pen please?"

Harris is handed a real ink pen and he signs his name to the papers. Once he hands them to Blake, he is given a key to start the time clock. He waits till the CRIC insert their keys and turn them.

"Let the Cannonball begin!" Harris inserts his key and turns it. The time clock is turned on and won't begin counting till the first team clock in. "Bring in the first team!"

Dethklok begins playing Metallica's "Where Ever I May Roam." However they stop playing as the first car never came up to the starting line to clock in.

"Introducing first..." GLaDOS said. "In the Melizanno... Heather Burnside!"

"Wait! What the hell is going on!" Nathan shouted. Everyone knew what it was. The engine wouldn't start. After a few minutes, the problem was solved. The Melizanno was out of gas. In other words Danny, William and Janice did something that no one was able to detect. That is by syphoning out the gas. After a few inspection, it was reveled that four other cars had their gas syphoned. Pretty soon everything was fixed and the race was ready to start.

Song: "Where Ever I May Roam" by Metallica

Sung by: Dethklok

"Introducing first..." GLaDOS said. "In the Melizanno... Heather Burnside!"

Heather clocks in and pumps her fist into the air before speeding off.

"In the Sentinel XS... Giovanni!"

"In the Landstalker Mark II... Tim Clarks!"

"In the Hot Rod... Randell Raines!"

"In the Vegas... Marge Simpson!"

"In the Newman... Brian Griffin!"

"What you haven't seen a talking dog drive?" Brian said.

"In the Grand Valley... Link!"

"For Zelda the Whore!" Link held up a unopened beer bottle.

"In the Miyagi... Captain Chaos!"

"DUN! DUN! DUN!"

"In the Chupathingy... Donut!"

"In the Puma... Tucker!"

"Bow chicka bow wow!" Tucker shouts before clocking in.

"In the Coach... Dave!"

"In the Camper A... Griggs!"

"In the Boltus... Vincent!"

"In the Argento... Carl Johnson!"

"In the Eiswolf... Jet Black!"

"In the Journey... Grant Imahara!"

"In the Scorpion... Caboose!"

"Riding the Mongoose... Grif!"

"In the Thoroughbred... Darnell Turner!"

"In the Brooklyn... Foghorn Leghorn!"

"In the Cheetah 2... Jimbo Kern!"

"In the Vertigo... Eve!"

"In the Baron... Marcus!"

"In the Fairview... Captain Scott Mitchell!"

"In the Glendale... Robert Freeman!"

"Nobody will think old people drive too slow after today!" Robert slams down on the gas and the Glendale speeds off.

"In the Bonsai... Buckaroo Banzai!"

"In the Fury Cruizer... With the spirit of the Jaguar! Jungle Fury Blue Ranger Theo!"

"In the San Marino... Amy!"

"In the San Marino Spyder... Liz!"

"In the Zenda... Heather Morris!"

"In the Cerrano... Johnny Cage!"

"In the Patriot... Roger!"

"So I can drive. Don't act so surprised." Roger said to Stan."

"In the Walton... Marco!"

"Come get a taste of Vitamin M!"

"In the Cerva... Shao Kahn!"

"In the Prison Van... The Boogeyman!"

"In the School Bus... Alphonse Elric!"

"In the Job... Bam Margera!"

"In the Atlus... Kira Yamato!"

"In the Olympic... Stone Cold Steve Austin!"

"In the Aqua... Speedy!"

"In the La Furerza... Dr. Evil!"

"In the Rumpo... George Oscar Bluth!"

"In the MX2000... Zoe Carter!"

"In the Bootlegger... Ricky Bobby!"

"Riding the Mitsumi 1000R... Ryotaro Nogami aka Kamen Rider Den-O!"

"Henshin! SWORD FORM!" Ryotaro transformed into Den-O Sword Form. "(I... HAVE ARRIVED!)"

"Riding the Chopper... Johnny Blaze aka Ghost Rider!"

"Let's do this!" Johnny turned into Ghost Rider before speeding off into the night.

"In the Meat Wagon... Jimmy Hughes!"

"In the Spectre... Junior!"

"Bow chica honk honk!" Junior says.

"In the Quasar... Rick Thunderbolt!"

"In the Jackrabbit... Master Yo!"

"In the Kimodo... Muji!"

"This is good for Muji! HAHAHA!"

"Riding the Noodleboy... Pucca!"

"Riding the Pizzaboy... Garu!"

"Riding the Sanchez... Abyo!"

Abyo jumps into the air and tears off his kung fu shirt, before landing back on his bike and speeding off.

"Riding the Ventoso... Ching!"

"In the Negotiator... Harry Mason!"

"In the Gunslinger... Mega Man!"

"In the Compton... Sam Winchester!"

"In the NRG V8... Jan Kandou!"

"In the Rattler... Master Chief!"

"In the Nelson... Harry Potter!"

"In the Camper B... Manny Santos!"

"In the Elegant... Hiro Nakamura!"

"YATTA!"

"In the Pangea... Marcus Damon!"

"In the Keystone... Gannondorf!"

"Better late than never!" Gannondorf said.

"Well that's all of them." Kevin said. "For the Cannonball and Attack of the Show. I'm Kevin Pereira..."

"And I'm Olivia Munn..." Olivia said. "Goodnight everyone."

Author's Comment: Next chapter will be up whenever it is done. But I'm thinking of only doing half of the teams in one chapter and the rest in the next chapter. Since I have way to many teams.