UNBELIEVABLE! After 12 years I will finish the story! Maybe some of you are still interested how this romp will end. Stay tuned!
Chapter 10 - A lost marine
Grace, still in her Avatar form, stared out of the chopper into the endless jungle and cursed silently while she scanned the treetops with her thermo-binoculars. That stupid boy! That stupid airheaded marine had botched his first mission!
She remembered Parker's words and drew a face. "A marine we can use," he had said. Because a marine could follow orders. Except this one couldn't.
Of course, Quaritch had put his claws immediately into the boy. She didn't know what exactly he had promised him, but she was certain that it had something to do with his broken body. The way the boy had sprinted away with his Avatar body on the day of his first trial run had made it all too clear that the loss of his legs hit him harder than he would ever admit. In a way she felt sorry for him, but that didn't change the fact that he presented a danger to her personal mission. And now he was lost in the endless jungles of Pandora. No worse, his expensive Avatar body had become lost. Parker could easily overlook the loss of a soldier, especially one with a disability. But the boy had been an asset. He was only here, because he had the genetic compatibility to compensate for the investment the company had taken in his now deceased brother. Explaining financial loss to Parker was infinitely worse than explaining loss of life.
As head of the science team, she had the responsibility to justify what had happened. It didn't matter that the airhead hadn't listened to her and that he had run off after being attacked by that thanator. She was directly accountable for losing an expensive piece of equipment.
"Where are you?" she muttered under her breath and then shook her head. There was no way that his Avatar would survive the night. He was fully unprepared for the dangers of the Pandoran jungle, hadn't heeded her warnings. And had cost her even more standing with Selfridge.
Sometimes she wondered why she was still here. In a way, her whole science department was a sham. The last weeks with the Colonel had shown her that in a clarity she had never possessed before in her grief-ridden state. An evil corporation funded them with breadcrumbs to create the illusion of being ethical. But there was nothing ethical in RDA's goal to understand the Na'Vi just well enough to coerce them to leave their homesteads for the company's profit. The forced relocation of native populations was never ethical, even if one asked them nicely. She, too, had pledged a commitment to that goal by signing up with RDA although her intentions had been pure.
But what else was there to do for a xenobiologist? Pandora was the only known celestial body to humanity with extraterrestrial life. Before Earth's governments had been able to decide on the legalities of extraplanetary exploration, megacorporations like RDA had picked up the slack, had invested and built infrastructure – and made their own laws. This meant in turn that any xenoscientist interested in alien life was forced to sign a deal with the metaphorical and maybe literal devil. In order to research and preserve a civilization like the Na'Vi's she and her team were compliant to the company's goals. It didn't matter if those goals stood in stark contrast to the scientist's personal morals. But Grace tried to calm her conscience by telling herself that without her and her team the destruction of the local flora and fauna as well as the native population would have been infinitely larger. Which was ironic since the humans were the invaders, placing demands on a civilization which had inhabited this moon for millennia. But, as she had found out quite drastically in recent weeks, there was no end to human hybris.
In a way her department had always existed on borrowed time. The arrival of Jake Sully probably hastened the inevitable. But then again, a peaceful solution was always preferrable to the bloodshed Quaritch had in mind. And she would fight for a peaceful solution as long as she was able to.
"Just stay alive and don't botch this," she told the lost boy in the jungle.
"What do you mean lost?!" Selfridge's disapproving scowl was exactly as Grace had imagined it on the long ride home. She was prepared for that interrogation, trying to ignore Quaritch looming in the background. Since Jake Sully fell into his department, strictly speaking, he had a right to be there.
"As of now, the Avatar body of Tom Sully is missing in action," she repeated her initial statement. Selfridge eyed her warily.
"Jake Sully," Quaritch corrected her, but she just sighed and shook her head.
"This exactly is part of the problem. Tom Sully was trained for this mission. He had the necessary knowledge and the required training with an Avatar. Jake is just a cheap replacement with the same genetic markers. And this is, why…" She fumbled for words before she finally settled. "Why today happened." She swiped some hair out of her face, irritated that the two men couldn't see what the problem was. No, she corrected herself. They knew. They just didn't care.
"The only thing I understand is that company property got lost or damaged under your watch, Dr. Augustine." Selfridge gave her a piercing look.
Exasperated she threw her hands in the air. "That's not what happened. What happened was…" She wanted to yell her frustration at them. Telling them that it was their constant interference that botched her work before it had any chance of success and before they blamed her for the inevitable fallout. She wanted to grab Selfridge by the collar, screaming that what happened was exactly what she had warned and complained about – an untrained marine with zero knowledge of the Avatar program had been a liability to begin with. And that she had chosen a destination in the jungle she had deemed safe for his first field run. But, of course, he had been stupid enough to botch even that by wandering off and touching everything as if he hadn't listened to her safety brief. It was not her fault that the stupid boy had gotten himself into that bind. He had been unprepared and despite her best efforts it had been impossible to train him effectively in the time span RDA had given her before they demanded him out into the field. In a way, he had become the victim of the same limiting factors she had been forced to operate in for years. But before she could get anything of that sort out, Selfridge had cut her off.
"I'm not interested in your excuses, Doctor. You're on very thin ice, as your program has only cost us money without any real payback so far. Make it right."
Defeated, she nodded, not knowing if there was anything she could do to recover the lost body. They had to wait until Jake awoke before they could debrief him. Since he was still in, at least the Avatar was still alive. Not that it necessarily entailed an easy recovery, but there was that. A part of her would have liked to strangle him in his sleep here and there. Instead, she silently got up. She had her orders and no particular desire to remain in either man's presence for now.
The water felt good on Grace's skin. It was far too long that she had taken a hot shower to unwind. Usually she stepped in, got clean and stepped out, but right now she needed to be surrounded and caressed by the water. She closed her eyes and leaned at the back of the metal cubicle. At least water was a luxury that existed in abundance on Pandora. It was one of the few things she wasn't required to restrict. She recapitulated the events of the day before her inner eye, trying to find some angle that she could use to demonstrate that her research was not entirely useless and cost intensive. When putting her outrage aside for a minute she had to admit that Jake Sully's presence on Pandora meant that the Avatar program was not dead yet. She had to push aside for a minute that the boy had unwittingly granted Quaritch access to her work. This was something she intended to rectify in the event his Avatar could be recovered. Still, if RDA had wanted to scrap her project entirely, they would not have sent Jake Sully. They would have informed her that Tom Sully had perished under unforeseen circumstances. Instead, they had mustered the decency to send her Tom's broken brother, an individual whose usefulness in regard to the mining operation was exclusively linked to an Avatar body. Without his Avatar he was a waste of resources for RDA, unable to be deployed elsewhere. But nevertheless, they had taken the risk of sending him here.
The boy was currently still in hibernation and Max had promised her to notify he the moment he woke up. In the meantime, she had returned to her quarters to unwind. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapped herself into her big towel – company property of course – and got out of the steaming bathroom. Without thinking she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and lit one while searching for her clothes. Only then did she notice the dark figure in one of the corners.
Startled she let her cigarette fall to the metal floor.
"Go away," she mumbled. "I'm having a bad day as it is." She was so used to him appearing in her quarters by now that she didn't even question that he had let himself in.
"I'm not surprised." Quaritch stepped into the light and picked up the still lit cigarette. He extinguished it on the bottom of the ashtray on her table, picked it up again and examined it. "You're not really taking care of this body. Your real body. And that is such a waste."
"And what's it to you? It's my body after all," Grace retorted.
Unfazed, he lifted the cigarette for her to see and continued. "Unhealthy consumption of tobacco, alcohol, sleep deprivation, no proper nutrition, and usage of the Avatar body surpassing recommended hours."
"Well, maybe these things help me deal with unsufferable assholes like you," she snapped. And here goes any hope that this would deter you. "Go away, I'm not in the mood today."
"I'd rather stay."
"Please spare me the courtesy."
He stepped closer, getting rid of her cigarette for good by putting it back in the ashtray. As usual he invaded her personal space. She remained where she was but stared defiantly. Her day was already ruined by another marine, so this one really tested his luck. He put an arm on her naked shoulder and softly shook his head after he had pressed his warm fingers onto her moist skin and had kneaded her muscles. She flinched.
"Just as I thought…"
"What?" Her curiosity eventually got the better of her, although she regretted the question immediately. She didn't want to give him the impression that she had any interest in engaging in any conversation.
"You're very tense. It's no wonder. As I said, you're neglecting this beautiful body of yours. Lie down." With his chin he indicated her bed.
"No!"
"Don't test my patience," he said quietly, and she immediately heard the underlying threat. The threat that had never gone away. "On the bed. Now. Lie on your stomach and get rid of that stupid towel."
She clasped her hands into the soft fabric of the cloth wrapped around her. But she didn't move. She didn't have the strength. Suddenly she felt immensely old.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?"
He ignored her question and pointed to the bed. "Now."
Since she wanted this exchange to be over, she ultimately decided not to fight him any longer. She would just file this insult among all the other times he had made her suffer. Without looking at him, she let the towel fall on the floor, stepped over it and approached the bed. She climbed onto it from the bottom end, lay down on her stomach and crossed her arms under her chin.
Moments later, she felt some sort of cool liquid on her naked back. She jerked and turned around.
"What the hell are you doing?!" she screamed. Quaritch pushed her back on the bed.
"Giving you a back massage, Doctor. Now lie still so I can begin."
She swallowed and obliged. This was unexpected, but unfortunately not unwelcome. The moment he had distributed the oil on her naked skin and had started kneading the most stubborn knots in her shoulders she realized that he had been right. She had neglected her human body. After the initial surprise had faded away, she found the sensations painfully pleasant. She couldn't remember when she had her back massaged for the last time, but it had definitely been before she had arrived on Pandora. A long time ago.
Since she couldn't remove herself from the situation, she closed her eyes and accepted the massage – regardless of its provider – for what it was: a relief for her strained muscles. Grace wondered if Quaritch had planned on massaging her from the beginning. That would explain the sudden appearance of the oil. But she would rather die than ask him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of showing interest.
His thumbs found her most sore spots and worked on them, slowly and systematically. This was not the first back massage he was delivering but given that soldiers like him relied on their muscles so much this didn't come as a great surprise. As much as she hated to admit it – he was really good at what he was doing. Despite her nakedness there was nothing sexual in the way he treated her muscles. After some time, his words put her out of her reverie.
"I must admit, you were pretty ruthless today. I didn't know you had it in you," he remarked casually.
"Excuse me?" Grace realized that she was stiffening. He immediately stopped his ministrations and she turned her head, looking at him.
"Don't play coy with me, Dr. Grace." He tsked and shook his head. "You might have fooled Selfridge with your feigned ignorance earlier but not me. I must admit that this new 'you' suits you. I like it."
"I still don't follow…" She blinked, trying to figure out what the Colonel was referring to. She reviewed the events of the day in her head, yet nothing came up. The only thing she had done was to somehow try to keep afloat before everything imploded. But that was hardly new. She drew a blank.
He put his hands back on her shoulders. "You really did him dirty." The closeness to her neck made this touch a barely veiled threat.
And then it hit her. She gasped. "Are you implying…" The thought was too outrageous to even consider, but it was the only thing that made sense. "Are you saying that I lost Jake Sully in the jungle on purpose?!"
"I'm not implying anything. That is exactly what happened, isn't it? You didn't exactly appreciate your new addition to the team, and nobody listened to your concerns. So, you did what you had to do. Clean, calculated and with enough plausible deniability. I'd applaud you if it didn't inconvenience me so much."
"Wait, what?! Why would I do such a thing? Losing valuable assets doesn't really improve my station here."
"A negligible risk. You were afraid that I would assert influence over your work with the help of that boy. And to be honest, you're right."
His hand rested on the top of her shoulders now, pinning Grace to the bed.
"I'm not you," she hissed. "I would never stoop down to your methods."
He bowed down to her ear, never removing his hands from her skin.
"Be careful and don't cross me. Parker might be concerned about the loss of money, but I don't take lightly if one of my men is harmed or incapacitated. So for your sake, I hope his Avatar turns up again." His words made her hairs stand up.
"Listen,…" she began weakly. But what could she say in her defense that Quaritch would believe? He was right. It would be better for her and her project if Jake Sully permanently lost his chance to screw things up. She didn't need the boy's trigger-happy antics. Ironically all those people who had pissed on her and her work for years were now the ones who suddenly had a keen interest in his Avatar's return. It figured. But still…
Quaritch had called her ruthless over an accident. She hadn't meant for Jake to become lost, on the contrary. The moment he had joined her she had felt a certain responsibility for him. It was not the monetary responsibility that Parker had her reminded of. She didn't much care if the company won or lost money as long as it didn't affect her research. But it hurt her pride as a scientist that she had lost a member of her team on an away mission. It didn't matter that she had personal reservations concerning his aptitude. A tiny part of her even felt sorry for Jake Sully, an emotion she suspected Quaritch to be incapable of.
She realized that she had never finished her sentence. "You wouldn't get it," she said instead.
"Probably not." He released her, seemingly content that he had said his piece. Slowly she turned around, rubbing her sore arms. For a moment, they just stared at each other, but she refused to avert her gaze. It was the Colonel who finally broke off the eye contact with an enigmatic smirk. He turned around and picked up her strewn clothes. Then he threw them on the bed.
"You should get dressed. Work awaits."
Without a word she began to put them on under his watchful eye.
"You'd better find him. For your sake," were the last words before he left. She exhaled audibly after the doors closed behind her.
"No, for his sake, too…" she whispered.