I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.

Author's Note: The following will be added to the cast list.

Mitzi Martin as Nicolette Carson (original character)

Orlando Bloom as Omarr Hunter (original character)

Triple H as Paul Jansen (original character)

Brian Tee as Taiki Kitano (original character)

Marlon Wayans as Billy Watson (original character)

Chapter 5: Who let that Thing out?

The Chupathingy, Mongoose, Puma, Spectre and Scorpion pulled up to what appeared to be a United States research outpost. They all get out with a storm passing through as they stand there.

"I hate the cold!" Church exclaimed.

"You're dead Church." Tucker said. "How can you feel anything?"

"You're right but the fact of the matter is that this reminds me of Sidewinder." Church said. The he heard what sounded like barking. "Did you guys hear barking?"

"Yeah." Griff said. "It sounded like sled dogs."

"They could be wolves Griff!" Sarge said. "I hope they come out and eat you."

"Remember Sarge." Griff pulls out his time card. "If I die, then our chances of winning decrease dramatically."

Sarge groans in anger. "Simmons!"

"Caboose!" Church ordered. "You and Simmons go check out the outpost and find those damn dogs!"

"Found them!" Caboose yelled. Eight Husky sled dogs tackled him to the ground and began to lick his visor. "They're so cute! Can we keep them?"

"No Caboose!" Simmons shouted. "They belong to the United States."

"How can you tell Simmons?" Sarge asked. Simmons pointed to the U.S. flag on the nearby flagpole. "Oh I see now said the blind man."

They continued their search. Soon more teams showed up and wondered what they were doing. Now the Miyagi, Walton, Patriot, Camper B and the School Bus were helping trying to check out the outpost and see if they can get any signal on the radio.

"Well the radio seems to not get any signals out." Stan said. "This weather is keeping us from trying to contact every outpost to find out where we take these dogs."

"I think we figured out where the U.S. command center is located." Captain Choas said as he placed a clipboard with radio channels on it.

"I decided to start a fire for the liite dogs to get warm." Caboosed said. "But they started acting weird and turning into some kind of monster."

"Caboose, that is bulls---!" Church said. "I'll show you it was all in your head!"

---

"Just after the race had started, the Bluths tried to concentrate on the race. However, the hot tub's moan prevented Michael from concentrating on anything."

The moan was heard from the hot tub again and Michael dropped the atlas. "Gob, we have to fix that pump." he said. "That moan is driving me nuts."

"Michael, I have a confession to make." said Gob as he drove. "The moan is not the pump. You can come out now!"

The hot tub's cover opened and a woman with a snorkel came out from underwater. "It's about f---ing time!" she said.

"Mom?" said Michael.

"Gangy?" said George-Michael.

"Gob, you have a change of clothes?" asked Lucille Bluth.

"In the duffel bag, mom." said Gob.

"It then dawned on Michael that Gob's errand was helping their mother escape from jail. Who was awaiting trial for fraud."

"You helped mom escape from prison?" yelled Michael.

"I thought it would make a great trick and all I did was pay her bail." said Gob. "Ta da!"

"Gob!" said Michael. "Mom has a trial hearing while we're racing! They're going to call a bail bondsman to get her and us!"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" asked Gob.

"I did!" said Michael. "I sent you an e-mail! Didn't you get it?"

"Gob had gotten Michael's e-mail. However, he hadn't read it due to the sexually explicit e-mails Maeby had sent him. After reading three such e-mails, and fearing an investigation from the Magician's Alliance, Gob began deleting any e-mails from Michael's e-mail address. Unfortunately, this included several e-mails that actually were from Michael, including the news that Lucille was awaiting trial. It was then that Gob realized, albeit too late, that 'Mom's getting sprung' was not a double entendre as he had originally thought."

"I've made a huge mistake." said Gob.

Newport Beach, California

Duane "Dog" Lee walks out of the courthouse with a mug shot of his latest criminal, Lucille Bluth. "Alright guys. We get to catch some Cannonballers."

Dog handed the flyer to his fellow bounty hunters: Tim Chapman, Leland Chapman and Justin Bihag. Leland gave the photo back to Dog.

"It seems this bounty is worth fifty thousand dollars and we get to chase after them in the Cannonball Run." Dog held up his hands. "But the race had already started not to long ago. So we're going to be the police this year to chase the Cannonballers. Now I don't want you guys to tell me that we can't capture them. Because we can't. We're going to try and stall them until the race is over. Then we nab Mrs. Bluth. Any questions?"

There were no questions. "Good let's go then."

---

The Polaris V8 stop at the same out as the Cannonballers. This place looks like it has been blown up and ransacked.

"About time they have arrived." said a tall muscular man, named Paul Jensen.

"I told you they'd arrive." said the leader, a female named Nicolette Carson.

The Polaris V8 passed the outpost's sign. It read: Outpost 31.

The four henchmen walked away from a '71 Plymouth Roadrunner, named the Carson Annihilator Phoenix or Annihilator Phoenix for short.

"Alright so you guys finally made it." Cruger said.

"Who are these mates?" William asked.

"Meet Carson, Jensen, Kitano and Hunter. This is my crew. Guys meet my our boss, "King" William O'Malley."

"Here is the update that you needed to know." Janice said. "The Cannonballers are racing through the Antarctic. We want you to help us stop them. No matter what. You can kill them for all I care."

"Good, I wasn't planning on leaving them alive anyway." Jensen said.

Hunter looks into the blizzard and sees what he thinks is people running for their lives and a creature of some kind. "Are those Cannonballers right there?"

Janice looks and sees the Cannonballers run right past them. "What are they running from?"

"That thing!" Carson shouts. They looked and saw a multi headed husky dog. Like something was trying to assilimate it into one dog again. Everyone made a run for the cars. Kitano jumped through the back window of the Annihilator Phoenix. The Polaris V8 and Annihilator Phoenix sped off into the antarctic. The dog monster barked and sniffed it's surroundings. Something else was coming.

A Snocat stops beside the beast. It's headlights shinning through the snowy night. A female in a black Umbrella Corporation coat, goggles, scarf and stocking cap; climbs out of the Snocat. The woman has dark red hair peeking out of her hat and glowing purple eyes.

"My ain't you a pretty beast." she said in a english accent. "I think you're perfect for my experiment. My sister will love you."

The dog barks and gets close to the female. However the woman used electrokinesis to zap the dog. The dog jumped back and whimpered. "Oh you'll do just nicely."

---

After running in the Antarctic weather for about five minutes. The Cannonballers decided to head back to their vehicles. However they saw that the monster that was chasing them was froze solid, and was being placed into a Snocat/semi truck hyrbid. Complete with a trailer that stored the monster.

"Hey that's Umbrella's logo on the side of that Snocat." Stan said. "What could they want with the Thing?"

"Knowing their track record for screwing with human life, I wouldn't be surprised if they're going to use it to assimilate Earth's population." K said.

"How can we tell we weren't assimilated?" Grif asked.

"It's simple we do a special blood test. Plus we can't be assimilated. That dog was being loaded into a truck and it was the only thing that was assimilated." K replied. "Besides we have to find some flame throwers. Heat is the Thing's only weakness."

---

The Meat Wagon was speeding along the glaciers of Antarctica. When Team DATS sped by, Greg and Jimmy watched as Damon argued with his Digimon partner Agumon.

"That's something you don't see everyday." Jimmy said. Greg nodded in agreement.

---

"This is Adam Sessler and here with me is Weird Al Yankovic." Adam Sessler said at the betting booth area. "He just placed a very special bet. Can you tell us all about it Al?"

"Sure thing Adam." Weird Al said. "I intend to sing White and Nerdy if the Bonsai, Journey and MX2000 reaches the end of Antarctica first. In no particular order I might add."

"Well let's hope they reach the ocean first. Back to you Kevin."

---

Cruger and his crew ran into the Cannonballers again. This time the two parties agreed to the blood test.

"Let's get this over with." Paul said.

"Alright, here we go." K said. He performed the blood test on everyone and they all were negative for the parasite.

"This can't be right." K said. "We're ALL negative for the parasite?"

"If we're all negative, then what do you think has happened to it?" Church asked.

Eve arrives at a Antarctic base, owned by the Umbrella Corporation. She climbs out and is met by the base's security personnel. She orders the men to take the semi truck inside the main hanger and prep it for transfer underground. Then she walked inside herself. After going underground, Eve goes into a cryogenics room. With only one cryo tube inside. Inside that tube is a girl that looks exactly like Eve. Red hair, blue eyes and probably has a English accent like her.

"I have a surprise for you sis." Eve smiles. Her smile went bye bye, when the alarms to the facility went off. "What's going on?"

"That smaple you brought here excaped ma'am!" a guard said.

"Get it back into this facility!"

"Yes ma'am!"

---

The MX2000, Journey and Bonsai reached the ocean first. Each vehicle activates either flight or boat mode before reaching the ocean. Once all three vehicles take towards the continent, Weird Al takes the stage.

"I just want to say hey thanks for helping me win my bets guys. Now here is my latest single, straight from my latest album it's White and Nerdy!" Weird Al says as the music begins.

Song: Weird Al Yankovic - White and Nerdy

"Looks like the Cannonball is off to a good start." GLaDOS said.

"Yes it does GLaDOS." Kevin said. "Folks keep watching this space. Because the next continent is coming up. You don't want to miss it."