Chapter 26

Author Note:

Alright, so...I had a problem with my old chapter 26. I did not like it at all upon further review. Soooooo I made a new one. It's shiny, and new, and longer, and better...hopefully. So, enjoy!

A few hours, and one very convoluted conversation later, everyone was up to speed. Well...mostly everyone.

Predictably, when a complex situation was being explained, one red-clad figure was resolutely out of the loop.

"You're trying to tell me that HE had nothing to do with this?" Inuyasha growled, pointing a clawed finger at Sesshoumaru.

Everyone sighed, shaking their heads - this was at least the fifteenth time that he had asked that same question. This conversation had been going back and forth, like a ping-pong game against two evenly matched opponents...or maybe more like a ping-pong match where someone just repeatedly hits a ball against a brick wall. Inuyasha was that wall: no matter how hard one hit, they just weren't going to break through brick with a tiny, white, plastic ball.

"Yes, a thousand times yes!" Kagome screeched, throwing her arms up in the air and then bringing them down to rub her temples furiously.

Inuyasha watched, taken aback by her outburst, as her face scrunched as though she was in an intense pain, her fingers rubbing calming circles at the corners of her eyes.

Slowly, meticulously - like the second hand of a particularly slow clock about to reach the 12 - understanding came to Inuyasha. And then...

It was gone.

"Keh, he's up to something," the hanyou scoffed, beginning to pace back and forth. "I bet he's in cahoots with that smoke demon."

Sesshoumaru almost rolled his eyes.

"He's not a smoke demon," Miroku corrected. "if we are to believe Lady Kagome, he's a-"

"Like I was saying, that SMOKE DEMON, and my ass-hole brother are up to no good," Inuyasha stopped to interrupt Miroku, before continuing his crazed pacing. "He's tried to kill us a million times over, I don't see why all of a sudden you guys are on his side. He probably put some full-demon voodoo on your brains!"

Spinning on his heal and shooting an accusing glare towards said full-demon, Inuyasha - not for the first, nor the last time - lost his sanity for a moment. "Well, did you?" He spat. "Admit it, you did!"

"There is no way someone is this stupid," Kagome muttered to herself as she continued to try and rub the calm back into her face. It wasn't working, it was just giving her some rather angry red marks on her fair skin. Try not to sit him, it's not his fault his an imbecile, he was probably dropped on the head as a child...or something.

Paying no attention to Kagome's slight mental breakdown, Sesshoumaru responded by shrugging in his nonchalant way.

"SO YOU ADMIT IT!" Inuyasha exclaimed, his chest inflating with pride at finally figuring out this awful situation. Turning to Miroku with a smirk he said, "See, he admits it! I knew it!"

Deciding that he obviously had never gauged the extent of his half-brother's stupidity, nor the density of his skull, Sesshoumaru had had enough. "Yes, brother, that is what I have done. You surely have inherited our father's wisdom; I, unfortunately, have only inherited his voodoo."

Swiftly and gracefully the taiyoukai stood, his silk robes shining even in the spectacularly lavish room. "I am leaving now, I lack the patience required to handle such ignorance," he said to the still frazzled Kagome. Bending down on one knee he whispered into her ear, "I will not fault you if you do not have the patience either."

Patience required? I don't have the artillery! She ranted to herself, the crazed look of one with too much on their plate coming over her, nothing short of a close-range missile could penetrate Inuyasha's thick cranium!

"Kagome," his deep baritone rumbled in her ear, bringing her back from the brink of insanity.

Oh, hi sanity, how have you been? Haven't seen you in awhile, we should keep in touch more often. Have you seen my good friends rationality and patience? I can't find them anywhere, the only one who has been keeping me company is never-ending frustration.

Realizing that she was talking to fictional, intangible emotions, she opened her eyes and stopped rubbing her temples. Taking a moment to find herself, she sighed exhaustedly and shook her head. "No, it's okay, it might be easier to explain if I can talk to him alone. I mean, I'm the one abandoning the quest for the jewel shards to take this little side-trip. He deserves to know why I'm keeping him waiting."

"Hn, indeed," Sesshoumaru agreed, disturbed by her words for some reason he could not place.

It is only because I do not wish to be delayed any longer than I already have, he decided firmly. Undoubtedly.

Straightening himself once again, he spoke to the whole room this time. "I do agree that the whelp deserves to know the reason his quest has been delayed. Though, the time required to teach the ingrate anything of importance might very well exceed your lifespan, miko."

And then he was gone.

"Hey, who are you calling a whelp!" Inuyasha uselessly shouted after h im.

Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kilala were already making their way to the exit by the time he looked over at them in indignation.

"I believe," Miroku sighed, "that he is calling you a whelp, Inuyasha."

The monk closed the door behind him.

"So, are you ready to talk?" he heard Kagome ask.

Turning, he shrugged moodily, "keh, spit it out, woman."

And "spit it out" she did.

There Kagome sat, delicate as a silk petal floating innocently on the surface of a puddle, telling a tale so fanciful and farfetched that it could not possibly be real.

What's wrong...it looks like kagome, but...

She glowed as her mouth moved in and out of the words she so eloquently composed, her hands dancing with the verbal melody she sang. She drew a story book in his mind, one so full of good that it could only be meant for children, and yet so complex that it could never be deciphered as it was meant to be.

It has to be Kagome, but something isn't...no, this isn't right.

Nonsense, she was speaking nonsense. Telling him lies. Lying to him, tricking him, this was a trick.

I can't listen to this shit anymore, Inuyasha growled to himself, his horrified frustration becoming more and more evident on his face.

"-and then when we finally got to the South, the dragon lord actually came to us! I was in my pajamas - asleep! - and then before I had time to wipe the sleep out of my eyes we were fighting!" Kagome laughed.

Grabbing Kagome by the shoulders, Inuyasha's eyes flattened against his skull, his eyes growing wide with concentrated concern.

Kagome's laughter died in her throat, "Inuyasha? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I don't know what the hell this place has done to you, but I'm gonna get you outta here, okay?" He said in a whisper, as though the floorboards were listening. "Don't worry, I'm gonna get you away from here and then this will go away like a bad dream."

"I-Inuyasha," she stuttered, "Why do you think you need to take me away? Haven't you been listening to a word I've said?"

Kagome was confused.

"No, I've been listening to the words they made you say," he hissed, his eyes darting from hers to the door and back again. "I mean, they've done something to your mind, Kagome. You're not making any damn sense."

What is his problem! Is he saying he doesn't believe me?

"I can't believe you!" She shouted, shaking herself free of his grasp and quickly getting to her feet in an angry tizzy. "You-YOU! You never listen to anything I say!"

Jumping to his feet, Inuyasha shouted back defensively. "I do to listen! What do ya think I've been doin' for the past hour?"

"No, you HEAR what I'm saying, but you don't LISTEN!" She spat derisively. "I poured my heart into that, I was trying to tell you about something important to me, something I wanted to share with you and you immediately decide I'm bound for the looney bin!"

Kagome stepped towards him angrily, her mouth opening to yell, but falling slack and silent at the last moment. Shaking her head she turned on her heal and headed for the door.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha pleaded after her. "How do you to expect me to believe any of that crap? That you, a human girl, could go on a magical adventure with my bastard half-brother? Remember all the times he tried to kill you? The first time he met you he covered you in acid!"

"And the first time I met a certain hanyou he tried to claw me to pieces over a jewel!" She cried, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. "People change, that was what I was trying to get through your thick, THICK skull!"

"People change, Kagome," Inuyasha scoffed, his arms folding in stubborn resolution. "Youkai don't. You may think that asshole has changed, you may think that you can...that he's..."

"That he's what, Inuyasha? My friend?" She finished gravely. "Well, he is, but he's more than that, too."

"Would you get a grip-" Inuyasha growled only to stop mid sentence. His eyes widened as he took in Kagome's words, his hands dropping to his sides as he stumbled backwards.

'But he's more than that...' Inuyasha repeated in his head.

Something dropped into his stomach.

"No...no." He shook his head. "You...you're nuts. You're fucking insane!"

"What are you talking about!" Kagome exclaimed as she watched his strange emotional performance with growing concern.

'But he's MORE than that. More, more, more...'

"I can't believe you!" He cried in a angrily, his shaking hands clenching. "You, how could this..."

"Inuyasha!" She cried, worry evident in her eyes and in her open arms as he rushed forward to comfort him. "What is wrong!"

No, he's more than me. She thinks he's more...he's always more.

"Don't you touch me!" He growled, his fangs bared. "I thought that you...that we, but obviously I was wrong."

Kagome, stricken with disbelief over the way he was yelling at her, could only shake her head as tears made salt trails down her cheeks.

"Well, whatever," he spat, his angry facade melting into the most painful expression of defeat and hurt she had ever seen.

Inuyasha's heart was breaking, every piece Kagome had slowly put back together, she was now tearing apart. He didn't even know his heart could break for her, not until now.

I've been so blind, he thought disgustedly. And so wrong.

"Good luck with your quest, or whatever the hell you wanna call it. I have to go fix the mess you made when you first set foot in this era, the one I guess you're not going to help with anymore. Hopefully one you're done helping Sesshoumaru you'll go back where you belong so you can't fuck anything else up," he sneered, brushing past her as he made his way towards the door. "But then again, you'll probably just shack up with the slime, that's what 'more than friends' do, right?"

And he was gone.

And that was exactly the moment she understood what was wrong, the exact moment he walked out of her life was the moment she realized the words that could bring him back.

"Ally! He's my ally!" She screamed in horror, tears running down her panic flushed cheeks. She stumbled to the door and called out to the empty hallway in vain. "He's more than my friend, HE'S MY ALLY!"

Most of the time misunderstandings are more harmful than the truth. For they could plant the seed of an idea that once it has grown roots, would never go away.

No, come back, please! Kagome pleaded with herself as though she could telepathically reach Inuyasha through her overwhelming remorse. She did not know where he was, only that he was dying inside wherever he was.

I killed him...from the inside out. Like cancer, I'm a cancer. A malignant, miko tumor. That's me.

"Well, doesn't that sound fucking ridiculous," she growled to herself. She shook her head in disgust. "My whole life is fucking RIDICULOUS!"

Grunting in frustration, she turned to the wall and kicked that bastard right in it's imaginary shins.

She may have broken her toe.

"My life is the definition of disastrous," she groaned, thinking of all the damage she had caused throughout her life. None seemed so unforgivable, so irreparable, so completely horrible as what she had just done to Inuyasha. She was a mistake, her whole life was a mistake. She shouldn't have been born, she was the embodiment of a perfectly good priestess' soul gone horribly wrong, and nothing more.

And then, because apparently she was incapable of displaying the proper emotions in her current state of chaos, she started to laugh.

Dropping to her knees, she clutched her sides, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"And now I'm an insane, malignant, miko tumor!" She gasped in between laughs. "Awesome!"

Her hysterical, rhythmic laughs were like an ocean tide: swallowing her, tossing her about. Her mind was a prison, her thoughts of the damage she had done trapping her as her laugher crashed upon the prison walls in a vain attempt to set her free. She needed to escape from her mind, she needed to run away, be someone else. She needed to not be Kagome.

Somewhere in her mind she knew she was being overly dramatic, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Inuyasha's trust was the one thing that she coveted above all others, and now it was gone. And so she laughed.

But her laughter could not save her from her identity, it could not change her name or what she had done. No matter how loud she laughed, she could hear it calling to her, reminding her of what she could never change, of who she would always be...

"Kagome? Kagome!"

Who me, the tumor girl? She laughed hysterically to herself. You don't want to talk to me, I'm cancerous!

"Kagome!" Sesshoumaru repeated with more urgency as he kneeled in front of her, grasping her tear stained face in his deadly hand.

"Oh," she remembered. "I forgot he would come for me."

"Sesshoumaru?" She chuckled, her eyes finding his for a brief moment before shutting tight as she erupted in a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

"Kagome, you are worrying me," he admitted quietly, his thumb beginning to wipe the tears from her face. He was so careful and precise, so gentle and strong.

She wished he would scratch out her eyes so she could concentrate on something else, on anything else but Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru.

"You should leave," kagome gasped, "I think I'm having a mental breakdown - HA!"

"Kagome," he said sternly, his deep voice echoing in the silence it left behind.

Blinking in confused silence, the lost miko struggled to remember what came next.

"There will be no more laughing," he commanded softly, his thumb catching her last tear before it could fall.

Swallowing, she nodded. "I..."

"You are upset," he finished for her.

"I'm upset," she agreed, her head drooping as she tried to get it together.

Okay, that was a whole lot of crazy, let's try not to be crazy anymore, okay brain?

"I...made a mistake. Sort of," she finally concluded.

Sesshoumaru tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek reassuringly as he did. "You are not the first nor will you be the last to make a mistake."

"Well, it's not so much a mistake as a horrible, awful thing that I don't know how to undo," she sighed, her reddened, puffy eyes finding his.

He stared back, his face impassive, but his gaze deep and meaningful.

"I broke you're brother. From the inside. I broke him," she muttered childishly. "Because I'm cancerous and horrible and he hates me."

"You...are can-sir-iss?" He repeated unsurely.

"Diseased! I'm bad!" She exclaimed. "I accidentally did something terrible, like I always do!"

"Kagome, you must calm yourself and tell me what has happened."

Sighing she wiped her dripping nose. "I led him to believe that I was in love with you...accidentally," she admitted sheepishly.

This is humiliating. Can I please just die? Who the hell lets me walk and talk on my own anyway? She groused bitterly. There should be some kind of universal quality control when it comes to what I'm allowed to do myself.

Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru was trying his hardest to not appear as shocked as he felt.

It was not working.

"I mean, my exact words were, 'he's not just my friend, he's more,' or something like that," she hurriedly explained to fill the awkward silence that had fallen between them. "But all I meant was that you were my ally! That I was gonna stick by you no matter what because you would do that for me!"

"Ah," Sesshoumaru finally managed to squeeze from his lungs.

"But Inuyasha thought that I meant I had feelings for you of the...uh, romantic nature," she blushed.

"And this was untrue..." he ventured.

"Yes! Completely untrue!" She laughed nervously. "I mean...you're you and I'm me, right? That's just...completely ridiculous."

"Of course," he agreed quickly, releasing her face in order to absentmindedly smooth the wrinkles on his hakama. "You will simply explain this to the half-breed. It is easily fixed, do not worry yourself over this matter."

Kagome began picking absentmindedly at her silk kimono as the taiyoukai became increasingly fascinated with his claws. They sat there for an infinitely long moment, paralyzed by the awkwardness that suddenly surrounded them. It seemed as though it would never break, though neither of them knew why.

"Miko?" the demon lord finally broke the silence.

"Hm?"

Hesitating for a moment, Sesshoumaru finally sighed. "I should get you to bed. It is late."

Disappointment filled her heart as his arm easily scooped her off the floor. He cradled her in the crook of his arm, her face getting lost in a sea of white fur and armor.

"Wait!" She managed to exclaim as she struggled tame his pelt. "You're going the wrong way."

"This is the way to your quarters," he corrected.

"But I always stay in your room..."

"I was under the impression that was strictly for the sake of my injured state," he said, raising a mocking brow.

Kagome huffed. "Well, it was at first - you needed tending to around the clock, but..." Kagome blushed, "I guess I kind of got used to it. Can I just stay there for tonight? All my stuff is in there."

A smirk twitched at the corner of Sesshoumaru's mouth as he adjusted his course. "If you insist."

Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up now, mister. Just you wait until I dip your fingers in a warm glass of water tonight, then we'll see who's laughing.

Kagome Higurashi was not a novice when it came to finding herself in strange places. She had visited kitsune magic schools, toured haunted underground temples, she traveled to a different time period on a regular basis for kamis sake! Though, she had to admit, the place she found herself in at this very moment was perhaps the strangest she had ever been.

There she was, bedraggled, mentally unstable miko, sitting in the middle of the Demon Lord of the Western Lands' bed.

I don't think I should be here, she decided for the fifth time, but still could not find the power to move.

She was completely unsure what to do in this situation and she was quite positive that she should do something other than just sit there like a frog being slowly boiled in a pot of water. What that 'something' was...well, she didn't know.

Why had he put her in this position? Why did he have to carry her to the room instead of letting her walk like an adult? Why did he have to drop her in the middle of his bed, HIS bed, and then disappear to change into his sleeping clothes? Why did the world constantly throw challenges at her that were above her mental and physical capacity?

Why was she asking herself questions and expecting answers?

"Miko, if you are going to be ill I would advise you to seek the washroom."

"Wha?" Kagome jumped.

"You look...green," he informed her.

"Oh...well, it's not easy being green."

The taiyoukai cocked a questioning brow, but said nothing.

"Ok, I have a question," Kagome sighed, averting her eyes as she often did when she decided to address anything that she was not completely sure she wanted to talk about.

Settling himself on the edge of the mattress, his golden eyes held hers. "Yes?"

"So, you know the night we...well, the night I kissed you?" She asked, turning a not-so-delicate shade of red. "I was just wondering, you know, what it was like for you..."

Ebony locks flowed in and out of his memory as determined eyes captured his. He remembered being captivated and confused and turned inside-out and back again.

"I..." The youkai lord hesitated, his eyes never leaving hers. "I do not know."

Kagome nodded.

"Does that upset you you?" He asked, curious.

Does it upset me? I'm not mad and I'm not happy...I'm sad? No, I think it's more of a disappointed feeling...but why?

"I don't know," she decided, her brow furrowed. "I don't really know how it happened or why I did it, but it was nice. I thought I only wanted to kiss someone before I died, but I'm glad it was you. looking back I think...it was exactly what I wanted, but I didn't know that I wanted it until it was already over."

"It was...unexpectedly enjoyable," he concluded.

Kagome thought this was the most accurate description she could imagine.

"Inuyasha is very upset?" Sesshoumaru asked suddenly. He seemed genuinely interested, which surprised Kagome.

"Uh, yeah. More like livid and on the verge of homicidal," she answered.

Pausing, Sesshoumaru sat in silence for a long time; it didn't bother Kagome as it once would have. He had taught her to appreciate the silences when they came, especially since they seemed so fleeting as of late.

"He loves you," the taiyoukai finally spoke. His statement was firm and absolute - it wasn't a question.

"What?" Kagome said, taken aback. "Are you talking about Inuyasha?"

"I am not sure I know what love is," he continued, ignoring Kagome.

Kagome leaned back onto her elbows and shrugged. "I think that you're lying. Everyone knows what love is. Didn't you love your parents?"

"Perhaps at one time I did," he said slowly, almost wistfully, "but that was a long time ago. I think I have forgotten."

"Forgotten how to love?" Kagome asked, confusion in her voice.

"No, I do not think that can be forgotten," Sesshoumaru answered. "I think I have forgotten how to recognize love, miko."

"Well, then you must be even more stubborn than I thought," she chuckled.

"And why is that?"

"Well, because the only people that can't recognize love, are the people that don't want to admit it exists," she said matter-of-factly.

Sesshoumaru was silent, his golden eyes searching for something she could not see.

"I don't know, maybe it's easier for humans because we're brought up on stories of princes and princesses falling in love at first sight and youkai are brought up on stories of...well, wars I'm assuming," she mused. "But the opposite of love is easy enough to recognize."

"Are you implying that love is anything you do not hate?" He scoffed.

"No, I'm not," she said, sticking out her tongue at his rudeness. "Hate isn't the opposite of love, the opposite of love is indifference."

"Indifference?"

"Well, yeah," Kagome said. "Love is like...like being able to admit that you care and mean it with everything you have. Like if something happened to that person or thing, you wouldn't just be upset, you would be broken."

She shrugged, deeming this explanation a good one. "It's not really all that complicated, even though a lot of people like to think it is. Love is pretty simple, it's..."

Kagome paused. Love is simple...it's only when you try to deny it that it becomes complicated. All those nights when I thought I felt something between us and told myself it was nothing...was I trying to ignore something so simple it was right in my face all a long? Could I...could I have feelings for Sesshoumaru?

"Miko?" The taiyoukai questioned.

Shaking her thoughts away, Kagome gave him a weak smile. "Well, the point is: love is simple," she told him. "It's only people that make it complicated."

Turning his head away he sighed, a rare sight to witness for sure. "As is such with most things in this world."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Kagome yawned, her eyelids drooping.

"You require rest, miko," he informed her, standing in one graceful motion and slipping a blanket over her before she could realize what was happening. "I am going for a walk, I will return shortly."

"Mmmhmm, night," she mumbled, her eyes resolutely shut and her face buried in his pillow. "See you..."

And she was out.

Giving one last look to the sleeping miko as he quietly slipped out the door, Sesshoumaru whispered a truth that she would never hear. "I have long since lost my indifference of you, Kagome. Sleep well."

Chapter Notes:

Sometimes I can be a bit picky

Like when I eat my m&ms in a colored row

But writing can be kinda tricky

So read my new chapter, you ho!

Haha, I used "ho"