I own nothing except for my original characters. No money is being made off of this piece of entertainment. So enjoy it.
Chapter 7: I Heart North America
In Eureka, Tanner was ordered to wait for the Ninja Storm Rangers. He saw a tractor trailer with the Power Rangers lightning bolt on the side. When it stopped Waldo "Dustin" Brooks (yellow ranger), Shane Clarke (red ranger) and Tori Hanson (blue ranger) climbed out with Cam. The four Rangers were dressed in their vinyl ninja suits. Each with colored trim that represents their color designations.
"Mr. Yates said you'd be here." Tanner said. He stuck his hand, to which the Rangers shook it. "The name's Tanner. I won't let me keep you from your business. So I'll be over at the local bed and breakfast if you need me. I'll also monitor your progress, if you don't mind."
"Of course we don't Tanner." Shane said. "We're just glad we've got another one of the protectors helping us.
---
The Annihilator Phoenix was chasing down the Mitsumi 1000R, while being chased by the local police department.
"Lose them Paul!" Nicolette shouted. Paul then pulled and the Annihilator Phoenix hit a small hill of grass. Finally crashing right into a bank. All squad cars stop chasing the Annihilator Phoenix.
"GET THE F--- OUT OF THE CAR ASSHOLES!" shouted the police officer.
"I think I just pooped my pants!" Watson exclaimed to disgusted police officers.
"(Nothing can stop me!)" Momotaros shouted as he controled Ryotaros. With that he was gone.
---
"This is America! Land of the free!" Ricky Bobby said as the Bootlegger raced towards Ohio.
"Soon we'll be in California, before you know it." Cal said.
"California sucks." Ricky added.
---
Xemnas and Kadaj waited inside a small recently built fast food drive-thru.
"What's the plan?" Kadaj asked.
"When the Cannonballers stop to get food." Xemnas replied. "We'll just spike their food in a effort to stop or slow them down."
"Genius!"
However the Five-O, a police car, appeared with English police officers Danny Butterman and Nicholas Angel.
"Yes we would like two hamburgers with everything and two large chocolate shakes please!" Nicholas said into the intercom.
"I got a idea!" Xemnas said, as he started cooking the burgers and putting marijuana on them.
---
Soon Nicholas and Danny were stoned from the weed on their burgers.
"Look at that!" Danny points in front of him. Standing there was a dancing burger.
"I'm a burger. I'm a burger. Come with me, we're going to fly. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. Guess what, we're going to get high!"
"That is the funniest thing I ever saw!" Nicholas said.
---
Song: "Lights and Sounds" by Yellowcard
The Noodleboy, Pizzaboy, Sanchez and Ventoso arrived in Hawaii. They quickly drove through a abadoned town, just as a typhoon was nearing the islands.
"Hey isn't that the Kimodo?" Ching asked Abyo, who looked at the car ahead of them. It is the Kimodo.
"Let's get ahead of them." Abyo said and the other three agreed. All four bikes sped towards the Kimodo.
"Enemy Cannonballers coming up." Ninja 1 said as he stared at the radar in the back seat. Tobe saw the four bikes in the rearview mirror.
"So..." before Tobe could even finish his sentence, all four bikes sped past the Kimodo. "Drats!"
Tobe slammed on the gas pedal.
The Scorpion slowed down a bit, so Caboose can take in the sights of Hawaii.
"Wow Sheila, the city is very beautiful at night." Caboose said.
"I agree with you Caboose." Sheila replied. "It's so romantic. I just wish Lopaz was here."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing!"
---
Somewhere in Texas, the La Furerza was driving down the road though Texas. Until they stopped at a red light. While listening to Radio Broker over satellite radio. Radio Broker is broadcast nationally over regular radio and satellite radio. Just about every radio station from Liberty City does the same thing. A Mazda RX-7 pulled up to them. Then the Olympic and the Aqua pulled up on the otherside.
"I think they all want to race Evil." Dylan said.
"Well let's give them what they want!" replied Dr. Evil.
"This is just in from a Cannonballer." said the DJ. "Given it to you Cannonballers. Here is Bowling for Soup's 'Ohio (Come Back to Texas)'."
Just as the song began the traffic light turned green. Causing all four vehicles to begin their race.
Song: "Ohio (Come Back to Texas)" by Bowling For Soup
Randy is driving the Thoroughbred, while Darnell and Earl were asleep. Soon the four racers passed the Thoroughbred at high speeds. Scaring Randy and causing him to scream.
"What Randy?" Earl said before going back to sleep.
The RX-7 pulled ahead and won the little street race.
"DAMNIT!" shouted Stone Cold as he drove the Olympic. Just then the driver of the RX-7 said something on the phone.
"Next time you challenge me, better be well prepared."
---
The Compton passed the Jackrabbit. In retaliation, Yin fires a Woo Fu Tornado.
"Woo Fu Tornado!" she cries out. A mystical tornado of blue energy, flies at the Compton, catches it and tosses it to the side of the road. The Jackrabbit pulls ahead.
"What the hell was that!" Dean shouted.
---
The Puma is driving past Napa Valley while listening to the Cannonball Run station.
"They've been playing some good songs." Tucker said with Tex driving.
"I know." Tex said. Just then a song request comes on the air from the Red Team.
"Can we listen to 'Rock You Like A Hurricane' by The Scorpions?" asked Sarge.
"You got it." Adam Sessler said. "Any reason why?"
"No reason in particular."
"You got it. Here is 'Rock You Like A Hurricane'. On the official Cannonball Run station of the Cannonball Run."
"Tucker, where is the Red Team?" Tex asked as Tucker located the Sabretooth and the Mongoose.
"They're in Hawaii right now."
"Isn't Typhoon Angel rampaging through Hawaii?" Church asked.
"Yep." It took them a few seconds before they burst into laughter.
"Rock You Like a Hurricane" by Scorpion
The Mongoose and Chupathingy were driving through Hawaii. While a tropical storm is passing through. Rain is falling sideways because of the high winds. Simmions turns to Grif and starts to mock him.
"Here's an idea." Simmons said mockingly to Grif. "Let's get to Hawaii quickly! So we can beat the others to the bridge. Great plan you idiot!"
However Typhoon Angel became a Category 3 and it's becoming incresingly difficult see, let alone drive.
"It's raining sideways!" Grif shouts.
"We have to stop and find shelter Sarge!" Simmons shouted. "If we don't then we'll be in the ocean!"
"You're right Simmons!" Sarge said. "Grif you can just keep driving! In hopes you get blown into the ocean! Grif!?"
The Mongoose is already being blown towards the ocean. Grif has the Mongoose running at full speed to get back with the others.
"Here's a idea!" Sarge said. "We'll Grif here to fend for himself! Then we hide under a bridge!"
"Bad idea Sarge!" Donut said. "We need him to beat the Blues!"
Sarge curses himself and comes up with a better solution. "Alright! Donut, you and Simmons get out and tie the cable around the Mongoose and pull it up!"
"It could work sir!" Simmons said as he and Donut got started. They ran up to the Mongoose and wrapped the towing cable around the handle bars.
"Alright Sarge!" Donut shouted. "Do it!"
Sarge put the Chupathingy into reverse and eventually... the handle bars broke off.
"SHIT!" Simmons shouted. The Mongoose, as well as Grif were blow into the ocean. Grif screaming as he lands into the shallow part of the ocean.
"Help me! I can't swim in this armor!" he screamed.
"Grif! Stand up!" Simmons shouted and Grif stood up into leg deep water.
"My bad!"
---
"Folks there is a problem." Kevin said. "Due to Typhoon Angel, all Cannonballs have to meet in Hawaii and wait it out for a day. Maybe you guys can help with the rebuilding or healing process for the people that has lost their homes. I just got a call from the Weather Channel. It seems Typhoon Angel is a Category 3 Typhoon. This is not good folks. So once the storm blows over or at least the eye passes. Just help the people of Hawaii out for a day."
---
Another Cannonball team arrived at the fast food restaurant. This time it was the Gunslinger and Team Capcom. However there was one problem...
"We're out of weed?" Kadaj asked. "How are we going to get some more to spike their food?"
"I've got just the thing." Xemnas pulled out a bag of mushrooms. "We'll add these to the burgers."
"Are those magic mushrooms?"
"Yes they are." Xemnas said with a smile.
As soon as the Gunslinger left, the Cerva pulled in.
---
Chris Redfield took a bite of the burger. He chewed a few seconds before he spit it out the passenger's side window. Dante, Ryu and Mega Man did the same thing.
"What did they put in this burger?" Chris asked. He looked at the mushrooms and knew his answer. "Some of a bitch! These are magic mushrooms!"
"And only you would know." Dante said. "Who would put shrooms on our burgers?"
Mega Man spoke up. "Maybe someone who wants to stall our progress?"
"Whatever the case we have to warn the other Cannonballers of that place." Ryu said.
"Already on it Ryu." Chris got on the laptop and sent instant messages to the other Cannonballers. Warning them to stay away of Xemnas' trap.
In the Negotiator...
"Should we do something about this?" Otacon asked Liquid.
"No they're fine." Liquid replied.
In the Camper A...
Sam was already replying to Chris Redfield.
We would love to help you, but you are too late for Wade and Team Deception.
Sam looked out the window to watch a very stoned Wade and Team Deception.
In the Elegant...
"Being stoned out of your mind is a terrible thing." House said aloud. "Trust me I've seen it happen on more than one occasion and it's never pretty."
In the Rattler...
"We better help them." Arbiter said. "They are Cannonballers and they'll need our help to destroy this evil."
In the Keystone...
Gannondorf replied with a yes to Team Capcom.
Team Capcom waited for the others to arrive. In total, most of the other teams in the area chose to help. The only ones that chose not to were Team Konami and Team ECW. They chose to not help. As they waited, the Quasar, Chopper, Fairview, Cheetah 2, Hot Rod, Boltus and the Brooklyn arrived. Once all of the helping teams arrived Chris briefed them on the situation. Kadaj looked nervously out the dining room windows.
"I don't like this..." he said.
"What is going out there anyway?" Xemnas' look was priceless. "Oh crap..."
Both got out of the way in time for Ryu's Hadouken to go flying through the window and the entire restaurant. The two looked up and saw the Cannonballers rushing towards them. Kadaj jumped into Xemnas' arms, as both screamed like little girls.
---
The Prison Van was being followed. By a Dodge Sprinter delivery van, called the Sprinter. Inside the Sprinter is Watson and Hunter. Who had Cruger post bail for them. However they two didn't notice the tanks of flammable gas in the back. They thought they were oxygen tanks. As they were chasing the Prison Van...
"I'm going to have a cigarette, want one?" Watson asked.
"Nah I'm good." Hunter replied.
Watson puts a cigarette in his mouth and tries to ignite his lighter. A camera on a light pole caught it all. First it recorded the Prison Van going past the speed limit, then saw the Sprinter going past at the same speed. Just as the Sprinter was half way out of the camera's sight. The Sprinter exploded, destroying the van completely. Hunter and Watson were fine, just a little singed from the explosion. Watson shuts off the lighter and throws his destroyed cigarette out the window. Then he laughed to himself and said. "Oops!"
---
"Well see you in Austrailia Cannonball fans!" Kevin said.
"In news of any attacks on the Cannonballers.." Olivia said. "There was one attack on a team that went awry. We don't have all of the details yet but these two..."
Image of Xemnas and Kadaj laying on the ground completely dazed, confused and beat up was shown. "...Were found on the road. Sources tell us that they must've tried to kill the Cannonballers but their plan backfired big time. We'll continue to bring you our coverage of the Cannonball Run when the Cannonballers arrive in Austrailia."