"Didn't you believe that I have finally turned away?

Didn't you, now? Didn't you?

Anything to hold onto to help me through my day.

Didn't you, now? Didn't you?

Jesus loves me fine.

But his words fall flat this time.

It's a long, long, long road

And I don't know which way to go

If you offered me your world, did you think I'd really stay?

If you offered me the heavens, I would have to turn away.

Was it my imagination, or did I hear you say,

"We don't have a prayer between us."

Didn't you, now? Didn't you, now?

Didn't you?"

Neither moved as the last notes of the song faded into another melody.

"It's late and I've a long day tomorrow," Blair shook himself free of his introspection and went to pick up his jacket.

"What? You're willing to listen to the others, but me, I get a brush off!" Jim found he couldn't help himself. His old fears and reactions reared their ugly heads once more. Looking at the knowing look on Blair's face he stopped himself from continuing. Taking a deep breath he recognised that this sort of behaviour was partially responsible for the gulf that had kept him separated from the other man.

Blair sighed and sat back down in his chair. "Sorry, man, you're right. I just didn't think you'd want to speak to me. No, that's not right, I suppose I didn't want to hear what you had to say. I mean I know you're angry, and you have every right to be. I really dropped the ball with Alex, but I did try to tell you. I know I should have tried harder. But I'm angry too. You abandoned me…"

"Sandburg…"

"…when I needed you. You pushed me away. I know I should have pushed back, but I was so frightened of losing everything. Then gave up my life, my academic career to protect you…"

"Blair…"

"Did you even thank me for that? I know I should have protected my diss better, but you…"

"Chief!"

Jim's use of the nickname he'd given him back when he'd thought that nothing could destroy their friendship brought him to a shuddering stop.

"Blair, I'm sorry." He almost laughed at Blair's open-mouthed shock. And he realised that despite everything he still thought of this man as his best friend although he was also certain that he'd ruined any chance of Blair thinking the same of him. He jumped in quickly taking advantage of the silence, "I let you down. Ever since Alex, and even before that, your dissertation was hanging over my head. I was terrified that you'd publish and then be off doing world, book signing tours and I'd be left dealing with all the shit. I know that you'd never do that, but it's like I couldn't see beyond my fears.

Then the diss happened and it seemed as if all my fears had come to be. And you, you gave your press conference. God, Chief, no-one's ever done something like that for me before. And when Simon and I came up with the idea of giving you a badge, all I could think about was I could finally have you as my full time partner and I ignored what my heart, and if you really must know, a certain black panther was telling me. I allowed you to throw away your life and the only thing I could come up with was something that answered MY needs. You died because of me and lost your chance of getting your PhD all because you wanted to help me. No, let me finish. I know what you're going to say."

Blair sank back into his chair mesmerised by the torrent of words coming out of this normally taciturn man. For years he'd tried to get Jim to open up, to come to terms with the more 'spiritual' side of being a Sentinel and now that their partnership was over it seemed that the miracle had finally occurred. His mind was reeling from the situation so much that he couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

"You feel you made mistakes, too, right?" Jim looked at him expectantly waiting for an answer. As the silence progressed, Blair hesitantly nodded. "You did, but no way were they as bad as mine. In fact, just before coming here, Connor let me know in no uncertain terms, just how bad I'd been behaving."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "It was a wake up call. I've been an unfeeling, selfish bastard who let his best friend ruin his life because his friend, me, was too frightened to do anything else. I forced you to become a cop when I know it isn't want you wanted for your life. Um, feel free to jump in at any time to contradict me."

"Why stop you when you're on a roll?"

Was that the faintest trace of a smile on his face? "God, I took you for granted. Didn't appreciate…"

"Okay, enough!" Blair jumped up from his chair. He'd been up and down so many times he felt like a jack-in-a-box. "Who are you and what have you done with Jim? Man, you make it sound like it was all your fault and that I'm some shrinking violet and you're some emotionally, repressed creep. I'm an adult. I can, and do, take responsibility for my actions."

"I know, but I didn't help."

"Jim, we had a seriously fucked-up, co-dependant relationship. Maybe, we should have gone to marriage counselling!"

Jim's heart clenched at his use of the past tense.

"It was supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement; you get help with your senses and I get my diss. But we both lost our objectivity. My thesis subject became a friend and I became your partner and that's my fault. As the scientist I should've known better. I became too involved. I had a choice: distance myself from you or change my diss. But I was enjoying the rollercoaster too much. However, I wasn't a cop and that's where your, and Simon's, responsibility kicks in. I. wasn't. a. cop. But I went undercover, helped arrest perps, assisted in operations. What the hell was I thinking? How did you let me do all that?"

"Because it felt right. You were meant to be there, by my side. Don't tell me you didn't feel that, too? And…" Jim hesitated. He hated the 'mystical' side of being a Sentinel, but he'd do this if it meant getting through to the man standing before him. He'd refused the water once before, maybe it was time to get his feet wet. "Don't you think it's a bit of a coincidence that somehow we've both ended up in the same place at the same time? You know; 'Of all the fairs, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine'," he said with a terrible Bogart accent.

Blair snorted in amusement and Jim felt a faint tendril of hope grip his heart. "Yeah, no, yeah… Whoa, I hadn't thought of that. But, God, I was winging it! I didn't know what I was doing half the time. But, yeah, most of the time it felt right." He lowered his voice until even with his sentinel hearing, Jim could hardly hear. "But you resented me."

"Look," Jim walked up to him, put both hands on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes trying to put as much sincerity as possible into his voice. "We both made mistakes, but you're the only one paying for them. I didn't lie when I said you were the best cop I'd known, but now I know that being a cop isn't what you are. But this isn't what you are either. There must be something we can do so that you can be my partner? I miss my friend. And I don't resent you. Not now. We're a team. And that's something I didn't realise before now. My senses are better when you're around and if I want to be a Sentinel I need to be the best there is. I need you to help me be that."

Blair moved so that Jim's hands slipped off. "I can't come back. Too many memories, too much… pain. What happens the next time you feel threatened and you turn on me? What would I go back to? I can't be an academic, I'm not a cop. Those who…" he swallowed, "who hurt me are still there. What if they try again? People want references and they want to know why I have holes in my CV. All they have to do is search my name on the Internet and they'll have the whole sorry story. I don't know what I'm going to do, but don't worry, I'm down, not out. I'll work something out."

"But I want to help. I'll tell everyone about my senses…."

"No! You can't!" Blair started limping back and forth in front of the rain-wet windows. "You'll have the press hounding you again. People like Brackett'll be after you. Man, it would be so the wrong thing to do." He looked up at Jim a smile lifting up the corners of his mouth. "But thanks for offering."

"We'll sort something out. We'll get those bastards who jumped you. If there're cops they've probably done it to other people and they'll do it to others that don't fit there narrow view of what being a cop is. The university screwed you over, so did Sid. You told them 'no' enough times. They need to be told they can't get away with their actions. What if they do the same to someone else?"

"I don't know," whispered the agitated man.

"Chief, you haven't been thinking properly for a long while. You're a fighter, don't let them win."

"God…"

"Tell me something. What were you going to do once you got your doctorate? Teach full time? Go off on expeditions?" He watched as something he'd not seen for such a long time infused the other man's face.

"You know, before everything hit the fan, I was thinking about that." His eyes flashed and his hands started weaving patterns in the air. "Lots of police forces are beginning to use forensic and cultural anthropologists. Not just to understand criminals or serial killers, but also victims, witnesses. I mean we live in such a multicultural society it makes sense that if we want to get the best out of the community we have to know where the people that make it up are coming from. And the police are in the front line, so it makes sense that they're aware of all this." He ground to a halt as he saw Jim grinning at him. "What?" He asked defensively.

"It's just so good to see you so animated. I haven't seen this side of you for such a long time."

Blair looked away uncomfortably and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Yeah well, I had other things on my mind."

"If we can work something out, would you try?"

"Jim, what can be done? I declared myself a fraud. On national television, no less."

"Hell, we've taken on serial killers, psychos, South American guerrillas, rogue CIA agents; how difficult are a university chancellor and a puffed up book publisher going to be?"

Blair laughed out loud and Jim's senses latched onto the sound. God how he'd missed his partner and his irrepressible humour!

"I need to think this through. It's too much…"

Jim sadly looked at the man that had suffered so much because of him – No! - because of who they both were and what life had thrown at them. "Is there any good fishing round here?"

"What?" Blair looked at him perplexed at the change in subject. "Hold on a minute. Just what are you all doing here? You on holiday, or what? Because believe me, I just can't see Rafe slumming it here."

"Do you remember the Berger case?" As he launched into the explanation of what had happened over the last few days Blair sat down next to him and Jim drank in everything that made Blair, Blair.

An hour later Jim quietly opened his bedroom door trying to be quiet. "How did you get into my room?" He glared at his captain who was lounging on HIS bed watching the television with the sound turned low chewing on an unlit cigar.

"I'm a captain," he declared as if that explained everything. "Tell me, how did it go?"

"It went… well." He stopped and thought for a moment. "In fact it went very well, better than I could've hoped for."

"Is he coming back?"

"Too soon to say. He's going to finish this fair as he feels he can't let his employers' down. Apparently, they've been really good to him."

"Did you tell him about Berger?"

"Yeah. But d'you think they'll find him? I told him to be careful. I also gave him the number for the FBI office here."

"So, we just hope he contacts us at some later date?"

"I got him to promise to keep in touch and we both know Sandburg keeps his promises. Meanwhile, he's given me permission to see some lawyers about how the university screwed him over and see if we can get some sort of settlement out of that book publisher. And I'm going to get those bastards who did him over."

"Don't you worry, I think you'll have quite a number of people ready to help you there. And how do YOU feel?"

"Good. Better."

"Your senses are behaving, aren't they?"

Jim just smiled and then yawned widely.

"Well, I'm pleased." Simon hauled his body off the bed and yawned himself in sympathy. "It's time I was in bed. See you at breakfast."

"G'night, Simon."

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At breakfast Banks was called away to the phone. A few minutes later he walked back in and leant over his team. "We have a problem." Everyone looked up at him with forks and cups frozen in hands and questions in their eyes. "Get your bags and meet me outside in fifteen minutes."

Twenty minutes later found the group from Cascade standing in the morning sun with their bags around them waiting for Simon to finish the phone call he was having in his room.

"Hey." They turned round and came face to face with the woman that Blair had been kissing the night before. Something seemed to be bothering her and she looked suspiciously at them. "Aren't you the people that Blair was going to see yesterday evening?"

"Hello, Miss…?"

"Felicia."

"Hello, Felicia. I'm Jim. Blair used to be my roommate and partner. He got here around ten and left just after twelve. He said he was going back to the fair. Are you sure didn't sleep

"Well, was he all right? I mean, he told me he was going to see some old acquaintances, but I could see he wasn't too happy about it. I made him promise to come and see me when he got back. I waited and waited, but he never came. I thought that maybe he was too upset and had gone straight to bed. So, I went over to his tent this morning, but it's empty. I don't think he slept there."

"Are you certain he didn't simply sleep elsewhere?"

"I've asked everyone. He's not anywhere! He was upset about seeing you, I could see that. Are you sure you haven't done anything to him?"

"Miss, my name is Joel. Believe me, we wouldn't do anything to hurt Blair. He's our friend, but also, we're police officers."

"Oh god, what's happened to him? Maybe he hurt himself walking back and is lying next to the road. I should go look. Will you help?"

"Okay everyone, we have a possible prob… Oh, hello?" Simon spotted Felicia and ground to a halt.

"Simon," Jim spoke urgently, "Blair didn't get back to the fair last night."

"Shit!" Simon turned to the woman, "Excuse us for a moment, please. I need to talk in private to my friends here."

"No. You know something. Tell me what's happened to Blair."

"I'm really sorry, but I can't…"

"Don't give me that. I don't believe you're cops. I'm going to call the police."

"Look, Miss…"

"Felicia." Jim and Joel supplied together.

"If what you say is true then Blair could be in real danger. If I tell you anything more, you could be in danger as well. Here's my badge. See, I'm a captain in Major Crimes, Cascade, Washington. I'm afraid that if you want to see Blair again you should forget that you ever saw us. Understand?"

She looked round fearfully at the people before her. "No, not really. I don't understand at all."

Just at that moment a sedan followed by two off road vehicles drew up in front of the hotel. A slim woman descended from the sedan and walked over to the group. "Mr Banks?" she looked at Simon.

"Yeah, that's me." He continued before the woman could say another word, "We have a problem. Blair Sandburg's missing. His friend here has just informed us of this."

The woman turned to look at Felicia and held out her hand while taking her badge from a pocket in her jacket. "Agent Hutchinson, FBI. Could you please tell me everything you know?"

As the two women spoke Simon gestured at the detectives to follow him a little distance away. "This is not good," he spoke quietly, but forcefully. "Agent Smith called here to let me know that apparently Escobar knows that Sandburg's here in Wyoming."

"And as usual," Brown said bitterly, "they come up with their information just a bit too late."

Jim said nothing. Suddenly, that maddening itch between his shoulder blades was back.