Now, this chapter did NOT end up the way I originally planned. It turned out much darker and… I don't want to say angrier… but angrier than what I thought it was going to be. But as I was writing it, I just kept getting further and further away from my original idea. Although, I do think this ended up much better than what was intended. And I'm sorry it's way longer than everything else. But again, I felt this part of the story was needed.
I probably should have entitled this chapter "kempokarate12 is redundant" because of all the repetition with words going on here. But there is seriously only so many ways you can decribe Brittany and Santana before you start repeating yourself. And also, the word "eyes" is used like… a lot. But I refuse to reference them as "orbs" or anything cliché like that.
One more thing: as I was writing this, I was going over the previous chapters and my other two stories, and I realized some of the things you're about to read contradict with what I already wrote. So I tried to tie everything together so it didn't seem like I was ignoring an already established story (( like the Glee writers tend to love to do **Brittana cough cough** )), and I do believe I accomplished that fairly well.
I lied, ONE more thing. I tried to announce when it was happening, but be aware of the fact there is double meaning in practically everything that is said between the two. Keep that in mind.
"Nope. No. Absolutely not. Sorry, wrong answer. You are the weakest link, GOOD-BYE!" Brittany all but yelled at Santana as she turned to flee.
Thankfully, after so many Cheerio routines gone horribly wrong, the Latina had reflexes like a cat and quickly grabbed the blonde before she got away. "Oh no you don't. Get back here young lady."
"I'm not young!" Brittany whined as she was yanked backwards to stand next to Santana. "Besides, you can't tell me what to do."
"Sure I can. I'm older than you."
"Yeah, by like twenty days!"
"It still counts. Besides, what's the big deal? You were all for getting this next clue a minute ago."
"Yes, but that was before I knew it was up THERE!" the Dutch girl argued as she pointed high above her head.
The two cheerleaders were currently standing at the base of one of Lima's old fashioned water towers. A bright, yellow piece of paper could barely be seen taped to the railing 200 feet above the ground. Brittany had assumed that the clue would be somewhere near the bottom of the tower, and that all she'd have to do was walk up and grab it. Though now it was clear the only way they were going to obtain the clue would be to climb the vertical, skinny, very vertical ladder. An idea the blonde was not a fan of.
"Come on Britt! It's the only way we're going to get our next clue!"
"No, I'm not going up there!"
"Yes you are."
"Does the word 'no' mean anything to you?"
"No. What's your point? So we may have to climb a little," Santana stated simply. She hoped by coming across as being completely nonchalant about the situation would calm Brittany down long enough for her to notice that climbing to the top of the tower wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Unfortunately, Santana's strategy appeared to be having the exact opposite effect on her friend.
"A little? A LITTLE? ! A little is climbing to the top of a pyramid. Climbing THAT," Brittany once again threw her arm towards the object of debate, "would be like climbing forty pyramids all on top of each other. That is not a little. In fact, it is the farthest thing FROM little!"
The Dutch girl began furiously pacing back and forth, flailing her arms in overly dramatic gestures as she continued shouting out random words of protest; most of them spoken in her family's native tongue (the only Dutch she ever bothered learning). Santana, on the other hand, was too caught up in what the dancer just said to even notice her insane behavior.
"Brittany Susan Pierce, did you just do math in your head without even thinking about it?"
Brittany stopped her pacing just long enough to take in the massive smile that had spread across the smaller girl's face. Once she reveled in her accomplishment for a total of .0003 seconds, she resumed "Freak-Out Mode".
"Stop changing the subject Santana Middle Name Lopez! And yes, I did forget your middle name. But that's only because I can't think straight when you're yelling at me."
"I'm not yelling at you," Santana said calmly.
"YES YOU ARE!"
"Brittany, you'll be fine. Trust me. I wouldn't suggest going up there if I didn't think you could do it. Look, we'll just take it one step at a time, and I'll be with you every step of the way."
Brown eyes scanned the scene in front of them as they watched the blonde practically make a ditch with all the pacing she was doing. The Latina couldn't contain her laughter in any longer the moment her usually graceful counterpart tripped over her own feet in the fit of madness she was currently sporting. "Okay, you seriously need to calm down girl."
"I AM CALM!" Brittany shouted. "You're the one who needs to take a chill pill!"
"I didn't just trip over my own feet."
"I didn't just trip over my own feet," Brittany mimicked.
"What are we four?"
"Yes! And would you look at that? Oh what a shame. Four year olds are too young to be climbing that high. Forty pyramids need I remind you? Oh well, we tried. Tough luck. Let's go home."
For the second time in five minutes Brittany made a mad dash to leave, and for the second time Santana was quick to stop her. She placed a firm grip on the taller girl's shoulders so she wouldn't be able to make another run for it. Brittany stumbled as she fought to escape Santana's grasp. When she realized her efforts were getting her nowhere, she reluctantly settled under the smaller girl's hold.
The two girls locked eyes, silently fighting with one another. Santana was the first one to speak. "Brittany," her voice was firm but gentle.
"Santana…" her voice was weak and pleading. The longer they held eye contact, the more Brittany's emotions got the best of her.
The Latina found herself completely disregarding the stubborn act she was trying to maintain as she watched blue eyes fill with more tears at every passing second. Santana had seen Brittany cry out of fear during multiple occasions before - they had already been through this earlier today - but something was different this time. Santana could tell the girl in front of her was experiencing something new. She wrapped her arms around the dancer in a tight hug when she saw that Brittany was absolutely petrified. The moment their bodies touched something inside Brittany snapped and she collapsed to the ground as fear and panic over took her body. Santana didn't notice her own legs smash into the gravel road as she held on to the blonde's crumpled body. The only thing she was aware of was the fact that her best friend was having a panic attack in her arms.
"Brittany… Brittany, sweetie, you need to breathe, okay? Breathe with me," Santana instructed as she pressed the hyperventilating girl securely to her torso.
"I… I … I ca-an't," Brittany struggled.
"Yes you can. Just follow the rise and fall of my chest. Alright? I'm right here, Britt. I'm right here and I'm not gonna leave you. I will never leave you."
At those words, Brittany felt her lungs constrict even further as another layer of panic slammed into her body. She knew Santana was only trying to help, but her last statement only made the situation worse. It was the fear of Santana one day leaving that had caused Brittany to fall into the current state she was in. The reality that the Latina may ultimately decide to go off on her own was absolutely crippling. Brittany always believed the two would grow old together, but now she was terrified they weren't even going to make it to graduation. They had been slowly drifting apart ever since she started dating Artie, and she feared it was only going to get worse from now on. If someone had told her hooking up with Artie would cause things to become awkward between her and Santana, she would have gone on and continued thinking he was a robot. The only reason Brittany was even dating the kid was because she thought it would make the Latina jealous enough to fight for her. She thought Santana would wake up and realize they couldn't live without one another.
But seeing Santana react in the complete opposite way made Brittany recognize the future may not turn out the way you planned. She couldn't imagine a life without the brunette right there next to her. Not only was she Brittany's soul; she was her guide, her confidant, her protector. Who would be there to pull her out of a sticky situation? Who was going to be the one to hold her when she cried at night because of the monsters underneath the bed? Who was going to tell her she was smart when the rest of the world told her she was dumb? Who would give her sweet lady kisses?
Actually, Brittany didn't even need the sweet lady kisses (though she would be lying if she said she didn't want them). The blonde would have gladly given up the fantasy of the two of them ever becoming a couple if it meant Santana would stay. As long as she had her best friend, and wasn't alone, she could handle the rest.
That's what scared her the most: being alone. Not being able to control the future. The uncertainty of who stays and who goes from your life. Sure, words had previously been spoken; promising one another that they would be together forever. But people say things all the time without really meaning it. The Dutch girl had unwillingly convinced herself that the things Santana said about loving her, and wanting to spend the rest of eternity with her, and how one day she could see them becoming a couple - were just empty words. Brittany had enough experience to know people tend to say things in the heat of the moment, and that promises were meant to be broken. As much as she tried to tell herself there was no truth in any of that reasoning, the sickening voice Brittany's head had other plans.
This voice had been plaguing her thoughts for a long time, but today's events seemed to have turned it up full force. Spending all afternoon with Santana like everything was perfect – like they were still the same two little girls who got married on top of a garbage heap castle – reminded Brittany of what she would be missing. As the day went on, the fears she had desperately been trying to push to the back of her mind began forcing their way through, but it was the added fear of dying (triggered by falling from the water tower) that sent Brittany over the edge.
As Brittany continued to slip deeper and deeper into a world consumed only by terror, she suddenly heard a voice calling out to her from beyond the darkness.
"Brittany! Brittany baby open your eyes! Please, just open your eyes for me. Show me those gorgeous sky blues of yours."
Hearing the brunette's own terrified voice seemed to have just enough power to slowly release Brittany from her nightmare. The world rapidly started rushing back to her and the sound of quiet sobs had the final strength to break through the prison Brittany's mind currently held her in. When she was finally able to open her eyes she found herself staring up at a petrified, tear-stained face.
"Good, good. Now just keep looking at me. Everything is going to be fine. Just look right in my eyes," Santana cried as she witnessed her only reason to live desperately struggling for air.
As blue eyes focused on the brown ones staring down at her with fear and love written all over them, Brittany noticed her lungs weren't screaming so loud and the death grip she had on Santana's shorts began to slacken.
When Santana felt the blonde's body begin to relax, and saw frantically moving eyes settle on her own, she knew she had her friend back. The Latina immediately wrapped her arm around Brittany's head, so her palm was resting on the dancer's brow, and held it tightly against her chest. Santana subconsciously began rocking back and forth; tapping in to the paternal instincts she developed over the years of comforting Brittany.
"What… happened?" Santana whispered into Brittany's ear.
The Dutch girl could feel her hair getting wet from the silent tears that continued to fall effortlessly down her protector's face, and she felt awful she was the cause of them. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. You're okay."
"It was… an accident. I didn't mean to… I swear," Brittany panted, still out of breath.
"Ssshh, I know," Santana kissed the top of Brittany's head and rested the underside of her chin atop blonde hair, squeezing their body's closer together. "Oh my God, don't ever do that to me again. You scared the shit out of me."
"Really?"
"What do you mean 'really'? I just held my best friend as she began to slip away because she couldn't breathe. I just had to shake the most important thing in my life awake because something in this world was too hard for her to deal with. So, yes, you scared me. I have never been more terrified in my entire life."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Just tell me why this happened so I make sure you never experience that again."
Brittany wished more than anything she could tell Santana what was going on inside her mind, but she knew that was impossible. If she told the truth, she knew the smaller girl – who was currently trailing tan fingers up and down her limp arm – would just run off again. So she stuck with being vague, "I can't. Please don't make me."
"What, climb the water tower?" Oh my God! This is all my fault, Santana thought to herself. I never would have brought her here if I had known it would be like this. "Britt, you don't have to go up there if you don't want to. Okay? I don't want you to."
Hearing those words made something inside the Dutch girl click. She suddenly wanted nothing more than to make it to the top of the water tower. Not only because she wanted to get the next clue and finish what she started, but she wanted to prove to herself that she could do this. That she was able to do things without relying on Santana to do them for her. If she was going to be left alone one day, she might as well start practicing now. One step at a time.
"No," Brittany declared as she lifted herself shakily from Santana's lap, "I'm going to the top of that damn tower."
"What? ! Are you insane? !" the smaller girl shouted as she instantly sprang to her feet. "You just had a freaking PANIC ATTACK because of that thing! And now you want to climb it? ! Absolutely not!"
"Earlier, you were practically forcing me to go up there, now you're telling me I'm not allowed to. What changed?"
"Okay, first of all, I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do. Nor would I even consider suggesting you do anything if I didn't think it was safe enough, or I thought it could potentially put your life in danger. And second of all, I don't know what changed. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you were hyperventilating in my arms a second ago!"
"Yeah, well I'm fine now. And I'm going to get that next clue. In case you've forgotten we've still got a mystery to solve."
"That doesn't even matter anymore! Nothing in the world is more important to me than being able to protect you. And if climbing to the top of that… that THING is going to make you freak out then it is not. worth it! I don't want a repeat of what just happened! I can't watch that again." Santana pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes as she let out a groan; completely aggravated with what was going on. This was so not how she wanted this day to end up. "God, Brittany! What are you trying to prove? !"
"EVERYTHING!" The blonde screamed as she whipped around so her back was to the Latina. She closed her eyes, taking a few ragged breaths in an effort to calm herself before she continued, "Just… please Santana. I need to do this for me. Okay?"
The smaller girl stared at her friends back as she struggled with the idea of letting Brittany do what was originally planned. She wanted to bring Brittany here so she could get over her fear of heights, though Santana had assumed she was only going to need to do a little bit of convincing. You know, throw in the whole "Look what you have already accomplished today. You'll be so proud of yourself when you're done," sort of thing. Santana had no idea events were going to turn out the way they did. Sure, seeing Brittany this set on making it to the top of the water tower was what was intended, yes. But after what had just happened, Santana was worried Brittany's desperate need to prove something was clouding her better judgment.
Santana slowly walked up behind Brittany and wrapped her arms around the dancer's slender waist. There was something she needed to say to her; just a simple two letter word. But no matter how hard she tried, Santana could not figure out what was needed to be said for this kind of situation. Burying her face into the taller girl's back she breathed out defeated, "And you're absolutely sure you're okay enough to do this?"
"I'm fine, don't worry."
"I always worry about you. It's my job. You are my life, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let anything happen to you."
Brittany's heart suddenly accelerated to twice its normal speed as she processed what the Latina just said. The thought quickly crossed her mind that maybe, just maybe, Santana was scared too. But then she remembered Santana Lopez wasn't scared of anything (Brittany figured the confession that occurred a few moments ago was a onetime thing), and that thought left her mind faster than it had come.
The Dutch girl began walking towards the ladder, bringing Santana along; who was still attached to her waist. Reaching out, she wrapped her fingers around the cool metal and glanced back at her friend.
Santana nodded, answering the unspoken question. "One step at a time."
Brittany took one last breath before she pulled herself up and began the vertical climb to the top of the tower. Very slowly, and very carefully, she reached above her head to grab each awaiting rung, ultimately developing a pattern: Hand, foot, hand, foot, stop, breathe. Hand, foot, hand, foot, stop, breathe. Every time Brittany stopped, Santana would lace her fingers around the dancer's ankle to remind Brittany she was right behind her.
The two maintained this pattern for a while, slowly but surely making their way to the top. They had come to the breathing part of their routine, and after half a minute they still weren't moving. Santana looked up and saw her friend had her arms wrapped around the ladder, clinging on for dear life. Her head was pressed firmly on to the rung she was holding and she appeared to be trying very hard to control her breathing.
"Brittany? Brittany, talk to me! What's going on?" The Latina called out, failing at her attempt to hide the fear in her voice.
"Hold please."
"Hun, we can't stop here. I don't care what direction we go in, but I want you moving. This whole thing is really starting to freak me out."
"But you're not scared of anything."
"I'm scared of a lot of things actually. Mostly when it comes to you, and I am currently petrified. I don't know what's going through your head right now, but I need you to talk to me so we can get through it together."
"Here? ! Now? !"
"If that's what it takes to get you to move then yes!"
"I don't think I'll ever be able to move. I seem to have forgotten how that works."
"You can do it. You've already made it more than halfway up. We just need to climb about fifteen more pyramids."
"FIFTEEN? !" the blonde cried.
"It's really not that far, we'll make it up in no time. You are so close. Imagine how amazing you'll feel when you reach the top. And I'll be right behind you the entire way, I promise."
"I'm scared Santana. You don't understand," Brittany whispered down to her friend.
"Then make me understand!"
"It's not that simple!"
Brittany did consider divulging her secret fears right then and there, taking into account there was nowhere for the brunette to run at the moment. But she realized there was a major possibility the Latina would say whatever needed to be said in order to make her happy enough to keep moving. She didn't want to get her hopes up just to have Santana turn her back in the future. Everything was so messed up and Brittany didn't know what to do, or say, anymore.
"I just… I need you to tell me I'll be okay," she finally settled for.
"You'll be fine! You've made it this far."
"Yes, but I had YOU!"
"And you still have me! How many times do I have to tell you? ! I'm never gonna leave you! We'll climb this together!"
Brittany screamed at the top of her lungs in frustration. She had stopped talking about climbing the water tower a long time ago, and she didn't understand how her friend had yet to realize that. But what she didn't realize herself was that Santana had stopped talking about the water tower a long time ago too.
Santana watched as a new wave of tears silently burst through the Dutch girl's tightly clamped eyelids.
"Brittany – "
"Santana," the blonde interrupted, "Stop talking. Okay? Please stop talking."
The dancer took a few deep breaths in order to gather enough courage to finish climbing the ladder, tears streaming down her face the entire way. When she finally made it to the top, she crawled on to the platform (as far away from the edge as possible) and immediately rolled over on her back. Covering her face with her forearms, and crying silently to herself, Brittany didn't notice Santana had carefully picked up her head and placed it delicately onto her crossed legs. The cheerleaders fit so perfectly together, no matter what position they were in, it was literally impossible to feel where their own body ended and the other began. Their limbs were just extensions of one another and the world was complete only when they were touching.
Brittany was so comfortable with her head (unknowingly) in Santana's lap that she had forgotten where she was. She only realized her surroundings, and the position she was in, when she heard a faint voice singing softly above her.
"John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. His name is my name too. Whenever we go out, the people always shout: there goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! Na na na na na na na."
"Really?" Brittany couldn't help but giggled into her elbow. "Out of all the songs in the universe, you pick 'John Jacob'? That's such an awful song."
"Oh don't give me that. You. Loved it." Santana emphasized each word by removing one arm from Brittany's face at a time so the two girls were now smiling at one another.
"Not particularly."
"Liar! Tell me you loved it," the Latina prodded while poking her friend in the side. When the blonde refused to give in, a full blown war broke out between the two. Santana found herself sitting on top of a shrieking Brittany as she tickled her struggling friend's body.
"St – stop!" Brittany choked out between gut wrenching laughter.
"Then say it! I won't stop unless you say it!"
"Okay, okay, okay, okay, OKAY!" the trapped girl declared as she raised her arms up in defense. "I surrender! I loved it!"
"Prooomise?"
"I swear! I swear!"
"Thank you!" Santana sang as she dismounted her friend and helped her up.
"You suck."
"I know." The Latina shrugged her shoulders and skipped over to the awaiting clue and brought it back to Brittany. "Here you go my lady," she said with a bow.
"Why thank you my kind sir," Brittany responded with a curtsy. "Alright, here we go: 'I may not look like a castle, but I hold the most beautiful princess in the world. And though my knight may be small, he will do anything to protect her. Most people view me as a dump, but in the eyes of some, I am a place of magic. You will find the end of your journey in the place that started it all.' I know exactly where to go," the blonde stated without any hesitation. She bounced over to the ladder, immediately stopping as she looked around. "Whoa… We're up pretty high…"
"Did you seriously just look down?"
"Where else do you expect me to look?"
"I don't know! NOT down!" Santana finagled herself in front of the frozen girl, "Here, let me go first."
The brunette began descending the tower with Brittany right on top of her. If anyone in Lima had been paying the slightest bit of attention to the wind, they would have heard the beautiful sound of two best friends belting "John Jacob", at the top of their lungs, being carried down to Earth.
What did you guys think? Please tell me if this was too over the top and completely unneeded. I appreciate any and all feedback!
Also, does anyone have an idea where they're going to end up? I gave a few very subtle hints throughout the chapter.