I wrote out my ideas for this chapter whilst I was on the train to London yesterday morning which actually now have turned into my ideas for chapter 4. I was going to see a friend and unbeknownst to her I directed her through some of the places I sent Tugger and Misto on their date in Unlikeliest of Lovers. I had a nice little moment as I played the story through in my mind.

British colloquialism: I thought I'd better say this as I was talking to an American once and the verb 'to fancy someone' came up and she didn't know what it meant. In Britain, when you fancy someone, it means you like him or her. Like what you'd call a crush; if you were crushing on someone you would say you fancied him or her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cats

A year in the life of the black and white toms

Chapter 3

Avoidance

Many weeks had past since Munk and Alonzo's first awkward moment atop that tyre. The leaves on the trees where just starting to initiate their change to orange and the warm summer days seemed to be a tiny bit shorter and cooler in the late September air. Throughout the almost unnoticeable transition the two friends had experienced several more unfortunate encounters – usually on a tri-weekly basis - leaving them stumbling over their words and turning a deep shade of pink beneath their white facial fur. One particular glitch in their chatter had incorporated desperate attempts to defer the mention of each other's behinds. It could only be too clear that they had felt more stupid than ever as they dug themselves deeper into a hole with their grasping for any other topic and inevitably their miserable failure. Another occurrence of note was when they had tried to speak about teaching the kittens to hunt. Munk had begun with simply,

"Hey, 'Lonz. Could I talk to you about the kittens for a minute?

"What?" Alonzo had replied in yet more shock at his mishearing

"The kittens."

"I'm not ready for kittens!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You asked me if I wanted kittens!"

"I asked to talk to you about THE kittens."

"You don't want to have kittens with me?"

Munk had been dumbfounded, "How would we even produce…Never mind, I can see your mind is elsewhere". Munk had run off at that leaving Alonzo to be mortified and slap his forehead with his paw.

The laughing they shrugged off these moments with was becoming less frequent now as they both began to suspect something was going on beneath the surface. They wouldn't dare talk to each other about it though, such a conversation had the potential of destroying their sturdy brotherhood and surely neither wished for that outcome. Munk tried to keep on top of things through the cringe-worthy vocal carnage the two caused. He did his upmost best to keep his mind on his duties and even went as far as avoiding Alonzo when he saw him. He most certainly hadn't accepted the idea that he might actually like Alonzo as more than a friend but this denial was challenged every time he saw the patched tom, hence his avoidance. It was hard though, Alonzo would do little things no differently than he had done before yet Munk would apply a whole other meaning to them. A gentle smile or a wave would have layers of confusion accompanying it and a simple pat on the shoulder had the potential – in his mind – of being overly affectionate. He noticed some physical changes in the patched tom as well. He was always quick to respond to changes in the weather and his winter coat was starting to come in. The thick yet gleaming fur that hugged Alonzo's body gave Munk ideas he certainly knew he shouldn't have been having. His coat rose and dipped in just the right places and just the right amount to make Alonzo look curvier – if only by a little bit – and this of course played havoc with Munk's mind. It stirred something within him in both good and bad ways. He had to quash these thoughts once and for all before they became more than that. What would he do if the thoughts started to turn into feelings? But then again, had they already become feelings without him realising? It was true that Munk felt some kind of desire for the tom inside him, but was that a desire for companionship or a desire for intimacy? What's more he felt bitter jealousy whenever he saw Alonzo with another tom – a feeling he'd been having a lot but hadn't realised until earlier that week. He embarrassed himself at his notions and on the inside felt utterly awful. There was so much conflict and so much want, but overall the biggest feeling was pain. Pain over the fact that deep inside him he knew what he wanted but the problem of his mind not allowing him to explore it. Truly he was lost in his own body.

Alonzo was the same in his strife. He'd been trying to find answers to his questions about his and Munk's blundering encounters and was beginning to feel the torment of being left in the dark by his own mind. How could he even entertain the idea of Munk being a sexual figure? Most times not even sexual, just as a more than a friend. He was Munk, his like-a-brother buddy, what on earth made Alonzo think like this? Maybe it was just an infatuation, after all people had those all the time over those who are close to them, don't they? If that was true then why did this feel more than that? Why did it feel like so much more than a kittenish crush and seem to be more like he knew Munk was the only one that could fill the empty space? Alonzo didn't know what to do. He couldn't talk to anyone about it, Heaviside forbid someone might find out about his thoughts for Munk. Feelings for Munk. Thoughts or feelings? Unbeknownst to the two toms they both asked themselves the same question: Were these enticing thoughts about each other more than just simple thoughts? Could they – having slipped under the radar and sneaked into the tom's hearts – be feelings?

The pressure from the situation was beginning to take it's toll. Munk became less observant and little things that usually caught his eye began to slip through the net. The kittens would run rings around him without being seen and would from time to time cause a riot amongst themselves. Alonzo seemed to be meeting up with many more toms as well but his returning home alone from dates became far more frequent. He did his best not to let anyone realise but usually Bombalurina would see him and the gossip would spread like wildfire. She was a beautiful, sexy reddish queen that Tugger teased massively in his daily flirting. She was wise too and always knew how to get what she wanted from him even if he would treat her rudely. The two had been dancing around each other for years and it only seemed a matter of time before they would get hitched. That is if Tugger could be tied down but Bomba certainly seemed up to the challenge. Alonzo was younger than her and had always – in an envious way - looked up to her talents and wished he could wrap toms around his little finger like she could. Alonzo was no rookie, he could make cats swoon at the drop of a hat yet he couldn't deny that it felt it was due to his looks. He and the queen had developed something equivalent to a friendship over the years but it wasn't without it's rivalry. They would never define themselves as strong friends although they had respect for each other and occasionally got along quite well. Alonzo desperately wanted to talk to someone about his predicament but his usual outlet happened to be the subject of his woe. There was no one else he thought he could talk to so begrudgingly he set out to find her one night.

The night in particular was likely the first properly cold night of the autumn and Alonzo felt the breeze trying to penetrate his now thicker fur. He left his den and spotted a gaggle of queens chatting like usual at the opposite side of the junkyard. He made his way over and spoke as he gained their attention,

"Good evening ladies"

Jellylorum – a yellowish queen with patches of black, brown and white was the first to speak,

"Well hello, Alonzo. Not out on a date tonight?" She received a muffled giggle from the other queens. Alonzo felt silly at the friendly jab,

"No. I was wondering if you knew where Bomba was?"

"Bomba? Why do you want to talk to her?"

"Just friend stuff"

"I didn't know you two were friends" said Demeter, a black and gold queen with patches of white, red and orange and also Bomba's closest friend.

"Umm…well just something. Do you know where she is?"

"Last time I saw her she was heading off with Tugger into the junk" she said gesturing to a path leading away from the central clearing.

"Thank you" said Alonzo as he turned and followed the path he'd been directed to. On the way he thought about what he would ask her. 'Bomba, I need to talk to you about something but you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?' he rehearsed in his head. 'There's a cat in the junk yard I've been thinking a lot about lately and it's becoming too much for me to handle' He kept thinking of lines as he walked, he turned a corner and came across quite a shocking sight. On the ground in front of him he found an intricate pile of fur that he saw was made of Bombalurina and the Rum Tum Tugger. She was laying on top of him and their mouths were locked together in a fierce battle for control. Alonzo was so surprised by what he saw that his mind went blank and he stood there for a few seconds before the two cats below him looked up.

"Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer" said the Maine coon. Alonzo jumped as the bigger tom spoke.

"Umm…I'm sorry for…It's just…Bomba, I'd like to speak to you"

"Can't you see I'm a bit busy here?" the queen said looking at him

"I…uh…right" said Alonzo turning to leave

"Wait" she called after him, "the moment's gone now so I may as well take care of you" she said getting up and following the patched tom.

"Hey, babe. You're just gonna leave me like this?" asked an annoyed Tugger from the ground

"Deal with it" she responded with dominance. Tugger just rose and pouted as he watched the two walk away. His attitude didn't last long as his eyes wandered down to both of the retreating cats hips. He smiled as he admired both the tom and the queen's sexiness.

A little while later Alonzo and Bomba found themselves deep into the junkyard where it was unlikely they would be disturbed. Alonzo stopped and turned to his companion and tried to remember what he had practiced.

"Alright, Bomba, listen up" he said nervously

"That's a bit rude, don't you think?" she replied in her teasing way

"You and I have always been…" he tried to think of something to call them

"…knowing of each other's existence?" she said with a smirk

"Okay. Well, I need to talk to someone about something."

"Why don't you talk to Munk then?"

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"It's him I need to talk about"

"Why not talk to someone else?"

"Like who?"

"Anyone else"

"Don't be a bitch, you think I want to talk to you about this?"

"Hey, screw you!" she said annoyed.

The two stared at each other until Alonzo gave in,

"Look, I need to talk to someone about Munk and there's no one else I can think of. Please." He looked at her with an expression of sadness.

"Oh alright" she said exasperatedly. She wouldn't admit that the look in his eyes melted her heart, she hated that he could do that.

"Will you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I might, depends how juicy it is"

"Bomba, please!"

"Okay, fine! For crying out loud, can't a queen make a joke?"

"You promise?"

"I suppose so"

Alonzo took a moment to summon the courage, he couldn't quite find the words he had thought of and struggled to say anything at all.

"Everlasting Cat! I haven't got all day, patches!" said Bomba

"I think maybe…" he stammered

"Yes, come on!"

"Well, it's just I might…"

"Spit it out!"

"I think I like Munk!" he blurted. Bomba stared at him with squinted eyes and a raised lip that seemed to say 'Are you for real?' The admission had sounded like a kitten had said it to a friend, it sounded stupid. Alonzo seemed to visibly shrink as he noticed her response, he knew what he must have sounded like.

"You think you like, Munk? Care to elaborate?" she asked

"I don't know. It's just…well…I don't know, I think I fancy him" every word he spoke made him feel like an idiot. "You know what, forget it, I never should have said anything." He tried to run off but Bomba caught his arm and forced him to sit so he couldn't escape.

"So you fancy Munk?" she asked still confused

"I don't know, maybe" he said quietly.

"Why is that an issue?"

"He's my best friend, you figure it out"

"So what? You like him. Does he like you?"

"I don't know, maybe" he said again

"What do you mean maybe?"

"Well we say things to each other that seem like they have a deeper meaning but I don't know if it's just me being silly"

"I can see why you'd think that"

"Stop it!"

"'Lonz, what do you want me to tell you?"

"Tell me what to do"

"Why should I know what you ought to do?"

"Because you always seem to know what to do when it comes to toms"

She felt a little bashful at the remark and compliment. She could see the tom before her was desperate for an answer, and it was a shame she couldn't give him one.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you" she said now trying to be kinder

Alonzo looked crestfallen. The one person he had hoped might be able to show him a little light in his darkness didn't have anything to tell him. The confusion and pressure became too much for him and he began to become upset. First his lip began to quiver and a few moments later in the silence that surrounded them he produced a small sniffle. A tear leaked from his patched eye he tried to hide his face in his paws, not wanting to look weak. Bomba felt uneasy being put in the situation she was in, what was she meant to do? Alonzo had asked her against his will for help and she had responded with nothing. She felt a bit guilty as she watched the tom try to keep hold of his torn emotions and eventually got down beside him to pull him into a delicate hug.

"It'll…um…be okay" she attempted

Alonzo let out a pained sob at that, "How?"

"Well…I don't know, maybe we can think of something"

"What if he hates me, Bomba? What if he finds out?"

"If he finds out you fancy him?"

"I don't know! I don't know what I feel and that's why it's so hard!"

"He's your friend, 'Lonz. He wouldn't ditch you over that"

"We would never be the same though. I don't want to risk loosing him as a friend"

"So you're not going to tell him?"

"I don't think so"

"Maybe you should try and distract yourself from him until the feeling goes away" she said trying to think of anything

"Would it work?" he looked up at her

"It might. If you don't want to fancy him anymore then maybe you should find something to take your mind off of him"

"I suppose you're right" said Alonzo feeling disappointed. Bomba was annoyed at herself for giving such wishy-washy advice. She helped the tom up and gave him a hug before Tugger appeared from behind the junk.

"What have you ladies been talking about?" he asked smugly

"Shut up, Tugger" said Alonzo

"Hey, calm down patches."

"And what is it you want?" Bomba asked him slyly

"I think you can guess" he said as he looped his thumbs into his belt.

"I see. Maybe I can spare a few minutes, if we're done Alonzo?

The patched tom nodded and let her go. He stared at Tugger as the two walked away. Tugger winked at him before he turned to follow Bomba and Alonzo felt curious at the gesture. It made him giggle internally, a reaction he crushed as soon as it manifested. Surely he was just vulnerable and needed any kind of closeness right now. He pondered this as he made his way back to his den, was he that desperate for intimacy?

The next few days Alonzo spent avoiding Munk at all costs. It was something no one would at all would expect him to do and the Jellicles became curious when they found him ducking behind junk piles and hiding in his den at the strangest of moments. Alonzo became tired at constantly being on the lookout for the protector and was rather drowsy by the middle of the night. It meant he would be found napping in alcoves and recesses in the junk where no one would expect to find him. In one particular instance he awoke to find half a dozen kittens staring at him as he came back to the world. They asked him what he was doing but he couldn't think of an answer. He tried to send them away but they followed him for hours trying to make sense of his oddness.

Enough was enough. He had to do something other than hide away, he needed to get out and distract himself and what better way to do that than going on date. It might even pave the way for him to get some relief in bed as well - something he felt he needed desperately at that moment. At midday on an early October afternoon he strode out of the junkyard to some of his regular haunts. He was going to find someone to take out and show them a damn good time. It didn't take long once he'd gotten to one of the major social spots for cats. It was in a little corner of Regent's Park where cats would chase pigeons for their lunch and nearly as soon as he arrived he had locked eyes on his target. The tom in question was jet black save for his eyes which were a striking yellow. Alonzo made his way over and put the moves on him,

"I've never seen you around here before, are you new to the area?"

The black tom turned and looked his addressor over, he responded with a smile, "Fairly new. Are you a regular?"

"I'd say so, yes. I love this park in the autumn, I think it looks quite spectacular. Look over there, do you see how the sun hits the water and makes it look like gold?" Alonzo put a paw on the other tom's arm as he turned to look.

"Wow" the black tom said, "I never noticed that before, you have quite an eye."

"You're too kind. My name is Alonzo" he said raising a paw

"Corus" replied the tom also raising a paw and touching it lightly to Alonzo's.

"What an interesting name"

"It means the northwest wind. I never really understood it"

"It's nice. It sounds…please don't laugh, mystical" The tom didn't laugh, he just smiled at the compliment. "Do you live near here, Corus?"

"I live with my humans near Hampstead Heath but we used to live a long way away. I was hoping to meet some new cats by coming to this park. I don't really know my way around just yet and I'd love for someone to show me"

Alonzo saw the opportunity he was presented with and smiled at the tom. "Maybe I could show you, if you wouldn't mind my company". He saw Corus look him up and down again and liked how the tom examined his body. He replied soon after,

"I'd like that"

Alonzo smiled, he was in. "Great. You know the city looks great at night, why don't we meet up later and I'll show you everything?"

"Would you? That'd be ever so nice of you, I really hope I'm not taking up your time."

"Corus, my dear, it would be my pleasure" said Alonzo overflowing with charm. The two spent the next few minutes talking and Alonzo convinced the tom to come to the junkyard later on from where they would leave. He wanted the cats to see he was back on the horse and hadn't lost his ability to find a date. They parted after this and Alonzo began to return home. He was pleased with himself for his suavity and thought about how he would charm the trousers off of the tom that evening. And yes, he intended to get the tom's trousers off, figuratively speaking of course. Anything to get his mind off of Munk.

The silver tabby had not been performing well that day. He'd noticed Alonzo stride off out of the junkyard earlier without even so much as a glance in Munk's direction. He knew for sure something must have been going on as they hadn't spoken much recently and the last few days they hadn't even seen each other. Munk knew his friend had been there as he could sense himself being watched and from years of experience knew it was Alonzo. This had hurt him quite a bit, why had Alonzo ultimately resorted to hiding? But then why had he earlier strode past out in the open? What was going on with his friend? He needed some answers, nothing would be back to normal unless he got some kind of resolve. He decided that when Alonzo came back he would confront him. He wouldn't tell him how he felt directly but would skirt around the issue hoping it might end up with them addressing it.

As if on cue, Alonzo skipped gleefully back into the junkyard. Munk saw him coming and placed himself directly in the path of Alonzo's den. The patched tom couldn't avoid him now, they would have to talk. Strangely enough, Alonzo didn't look worried or timid, he just bounded along looking very pleased. Munk swallowed hard and began to summon his courage. Alonzo approached him and Munk attempted to grab his attention,

"'Lonz, can we tal-"

"Sorry, Munk, can't stop to chat. I've got a date."

"Oh" said Munk quietly. Alonzo continued,

"He's coming here later and I'm gonna take him out. See you later."

Munk for some reason felt crushed at his friend's words. Was he angry? Was he hurt? If he was then why was he? He wasn't in love with Alonzo, right? So why did it feel so horrible that the tom Alonzo was going on a date with was someone other than him. He slowly returned to his tyre looking and feeling deflated. Any chance of getting the problems out in the open had suddenly been set back a long way and it wasn't clear if they would ever have their moment.

It was then that Munk had an idea. An evil idea. Alonzo had said this tom was coming here so why not intervene. He would keep Alonzo busy while he sent this new tom away then he would be sad that yet another tom had ditched him and Munk would be there to comfort his friend, and this time he could steer the conversation towards the subject of them. He smiled at his idea but then thought for a moment, he was the trustworthiest cat in the yard and could he really sabotage another Jellicle? His mind - clouded with jealousy and anger - impaired his rationality briefly. He needed to know where Alonzo and he stood and no cat was going to get in the way of that. He sat back down and waited, it wasn't long until nightfall.

Corus had trouble finding his way through the busy streets of northern London. He felt scared at the loud noises and strange new things and considered running back the way he came. That tom he'd met was sweet though and incredibly attractive so he decided to press on in order to see him again. After an hour's worth of trying to find his way he eventually happened upon the junkyard that had been described to him. He gingerly entered the space to find nothing but stillness. He could feel life nearby - after all he was a Jellicle too – but it was unfamiliar life and it might not be friendly. He took a few steps more before stopping and looking around.

"Hello?" he called softly in the darkness

A silver tabby seemed to appear from nowhere. He scampered out of the junk and stared down at the black cat. Corus stared back at him, marvelling at the brilliance of this strong looking cat but then backed away a few steps from the fear that sprung up within.

"Um…" he stammered, "Hello, sir. I'm looking for a tom called Alonzo" he asked hopefully. Munk continued to stare down at the tom and made him feel rather vulnerable.

"And who are you?" Munk asked with danger in his eyes.

"My name is Corus, sir" the black tom said feeling scared at the tabby's demeanour.

"And what are you doing with Alonzo?"

"H-He offered to show me around. I'm new to the area, you see, and I-"

"Alonzo is not here. I suggest you leave now" said Munk darkly. He felt bad doing what he was doing but needed to get Alonzo alone.

"I, uh…I was meant to meet him here, did he say where he was?"

"No. Please go."

Corus looked confused, "Alonzo does live here, doesn't he? He told me to come here at this exact tim-"

"I asked you to leave" said Munk firmly now advancing towards the tom in a very intimidating way. Corus began to back up from fear of what this cat might do to him.

"I'm sorry, sir! I think I must have made a mistake, I'll go now!" he said turning and walking away quickly. Munk watched the tom leave and began to feel guilty, but now the job was done. This is what he thought until Alonzo popped up out of his den.

"Munk, I'm sorry but I've looked everywhere and I cannot find your collar." Munk had taken it off to make Alonzo believe he'd lost it. Alonzo looked up just in time to see his date leave the junkyard. "Hey! Corus!" he called out. The other tom stopped and stared back not knowing what to do. Munk felt the whole world crash down on top of him. These next few minutes were not going to be comfortable.

"What are you doing leaving?" Alonzo asked as he made his way over to the stock-still tom.

"That cat told me you weren't here and he told me to leave. I tried to explain but I thought he was going to attack me" said the frightened Corus

"He what?" asked Alonzo in confusion. Munk could hear them speak and waited for the accusations to begin. Alonzo spoke a little more with his date and then approached his friend.

"Munk, Corus says you told him I wasn't here and that you told him to leave?"

Munk just stared at him not knowing what to say, his plan had failed horribly.

"Munk, hello? Why did you do that?"

Still no answer.

"Munk!" said Alonzo loudly. Munk tried to say something but there were no words available to use.

"Excuse us, Corus" the patched tom said dragging his friend into his den. Once they were inside he began to interrogate the silver tabby,

"What are you trying to pull, Munk? I told Corus to meet me here and you try to send him away? Why did you do that?"

Munk tried to speak again, "I wanted to…you and I…we need to…I just mean…"

Alonzo was becoming angry now. He'd been avoiding his friend for a while to try and keep his mind off of him and dampen his feelings but now the tabby was trying to hurt him by attempting to sabotage his dates. His feelings for Munk suddenly came rushing back and they added to his rage,

"Why the hell did you do that? I like that tom and you're trying to keep me from getting to know him better? He's a great cat but you try and get rid of him? Are you that selfish? I could be really happy with him!" Alonzo shouted

Munk became angry himself at the accusation. He wasn't trying to be selfish, he just wanted some alone time with Alonzo to talk. He said things he didn't mean,

"Selfish? I spend every waking moment making sure everyone is safe so toms like you can drag every cheap little slut you can find into your bed! If there's anyone being selfish, Alonzo, it's you! Do you ever stop to think 'Hey, Munk gives up everything for me, maybe I should thank him'?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you don't deserve the freedoms you've got! I've given everything for you and you have no idea!"

"I have no idea? Don't you think I'm grateful for your protection? I've told you millions of times how much I appreciate you. Don't be such an idiot!"

"Oh please, you've never even noticed me!"

"Of course I bloody notice you! I notice you all the time! I can't stop thinking about you!" Alonzo shut up at that point, the two toms stared at each other over Alonzo's sudden outburst and tried to come to terms with it. The patched tom turned away in embarrassment and couldn't believe he'd just blurted out that he couldn't stop thinking of his friend.

"What do you mean, Alonzo?" asked Munk firmly, hoping that he might mean what Munk wanted.

"Nothing." Replied Alonzo trying to divert the issue and stuff his desperation to tell Munk how he felt back inside.

"No, you said you can't stop thinking about me. What do you mean?" Munk pressed on.

"I just mean…you're incredibly important to me."

Munk took a moment to weight his options before responding,

"You're incredibly important to me too, 'Lonz"

"Why?"

"You're amazing. You're the most important person I've ever had in my life"

"Really?"

"Really"

They continued to stare just trying to understand what each other was trying to say. They pleaded in their hearts that their own feelings might be echoed in each other as all attempts to destroy those very feelings had been killed in their desperation. They wanted each other dearly but were too afraid to do anything about it and they were angry at each other for this reason.

Munk couldn't take the pain anymore and in a flash of madness he lunged forward and grabbed Alonzo's head. He kissed him firmly on the lips before pulling away and staring again. He had a look of horror in his eyes where as Alonzo stood with his paw to his mouth still feeling the tingle left by the silver tabby. Munk spoke quickly,

"I have to go." With that he fled from the den and ran towards his home outside the junkyard leaving Alonzo unbelievably confused and shocked. The patched tom remained standing there as his friend got further and further away. As he ran he felt tears began to roll down his cheeks, he'd surely ruined their friendship now. He began to sob loudly as he felt his brotherhood with Alonzo snap clean in two.

Uh oh. Munk and 'Lonz might be friends no more? How are they gonna fix that?

Thanks for reading, please review.