I feel bad that it's taking me so long to update (by my standards). It's been days instead of hours and I hate that I'm not writing faster. Well actually I am trying to make these chapters longer and stuff in a whole load of progression in each one so it does naturally take a bit longer to finish and proof-read. I'm trying to go for at least the 4000 mark for each one and I think I'm doing fairly well so far. However, I'm hella busy this week with coursework and I'm having trouble deciding which is more important. Personally, I think this is. Thanks for bearing with me anyway. (I may be a little while with the next chapter as I won't have a lot of time to write in the next few days. Check daily though as I may pull some time out of a hat. I expect the next chapter to be done by the end of this coming weekend)

Munk and Alonzo try to come to terms with their awkward moment and feelings for each other.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cats

A year in the life of the black and white toms

Chapter 4

Fireworks

A great white light seemed to fill his mind. Aside from life's many menial day to day necessities there hadn't been much more to cross through his consciousness. It seemed that the world had come to a halt and nothing he had tried had managed to jump start it again. He had stayed in the darkness of his den for several days following his and his friend's moment about a week ago. Alonzo had frequently stared at the exact spot where the kiss had happened for long periods of time during his seclusion and played the scene through in his memory over and over. He had gone through a wide range of emotions as he made grasps for understanding, he had laughed uncontrollably and he had screamed in despair only to wind up exactly where he was unable to comprehend the magnitude of his situation. When he wasn't thinking so hard he was usually sleeping, he couldn't decide whether it was his recent inactivity that was keeping him drained or the emotional torment he knew he must have been feeling. It was quite a shame that he couldn't feel much due to it feeling like he had stepped out of his body and was looking back at the blank creature before him.

Another day ended and the setting October sun stabbed through the gaps in his doorway. It was a striking, fierce light that hung low in the sky and seemed to try and pierce him as he watched it, at least that's what it felt like. The air grew colder now as the leaves began to fall from the trees surrounding the junkyard and Alonzo felt the chill nip at him. He had been feeling it all the more due to the emptiness he felt without his friend nearby and shuddered as he lay curled up on his bed. He had tried to look out for Munk several times in the last week but had only seen the protector's empty spot from where he usually looked out. He had thought perhaps the silver tabby had been watching out for their safety from a different vantage point so as not to be seen by him but had heard when some of the cats came to see him that Munk had not been seen in days. Many of the Jellicles were becoming worried for him and at times became frantic if they got too scared that something bad might happen. Alonzo's mind was instead fixed on one particular thing and he wished he knew what to do but kept drawing blanks. He wanted to talk to Munk, he wanted to hug him, he wanted to hit him, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to rip his fur out, he wanted to mate with him, he wanted to kill him. What was he meant to do? The tom balled himself up tighter as he replayed the moments after their kiss in his head yet again,

Alonzo was still standing in his den with shock holding his body where it was. His mind seemed to be going one hundred miles per hour and at a snail's space simultaneously, he didn't know what to feel at that moment. What he did know was that he had to catch up to Munk and do something, whether that was talking was still to be decided but he knew he needed to catch up to him. He smashed through his shock with what little clear thought he had left and raced out of his den. He began to run for the entrance to the junkyard but stopped at the threshold when he couldn't see his friend anywhere. His date for that evening, Corus, had stepped towards him in a haze of misunderstanding.

'Alonzo?' the tom asked. He received no answer as he saw the patched tom in front of him breath heavily and display a powerful expression of something that couldn't be deduced. It could have been fear, anger or desperation - it wasn't clear. Corus gently raised a paw and nudged his guide's arm, Alonzo flinched and spun around ready to swipe the one who had touched him. Corus backed away feeling even more scared that the very tom who had shown him kindness hours earlier had seemed to turn on him. Alonzo softened a few moments later and looked away towards where Munk had run. He spoke while still looking in that direction talking like he had only ever learnt a few words in his entire life,

"I'm sorry, Corus. I can't see you tonight"

"What do you mean?" the black tom asked

"I have to go now" replied Alonzo as he slowly made for his den. Corus was sure he saw Alonzo's eyes glimmer with the suggestion of building tears but couldn't be sure.

"When will I see you again?" called Corus. The lack of any sound from Alonzo as he walked away answered his question and the black tom turned to leave. Perhaps people in this city weren't as nice as he'd thought.

Alonzo entered his den after leaving his date and stood looking at where his friend had kissed him. Tears freely flowed now and he fell to the floor wailing. He didn't have any energy to support himself and simply cried on the floor of his den, emotionally bare and completely alone. The solitude was the worst part, he wanted Munk there at that very moment but knew there was no way. He let his strife flow from within him as his feelings for the silver tabby seemed to amplify and become stronger by the minute. Perhaps he had been suppressing them for so long that he had no idea how strong they'd gotten. He didn't know exactly how to feel about his friend but he knew whatever he was feeling was powerful. He continued to cry for the whole night and it was only the sheer exhaustion that finally quieted the desperate tom.

Munkustrap was not too different. As soon as he'd kissed Alonzo he knew he shouldn't have done it and needed to be anywhere but in front of him. He belted out of the junkyard and sprinted for his human's house. He had always been able to think on many levels and that skill put him at a disadvantage at that moment. As he ran he went over what he had just done and the emotion of it all welled up inside him. Tears very rarely kissed the tabby's cheeks but now they were rolling in abundance like little glass beads. They made it hard for him to see and he nearly ran into the path of a huge red bus. He had stopped himself just before being mashed onto the road and fell down in the gutter. He shook violently as he desperately tried to reign in his feelings. It was clear to him now that he wanted Alonzo as more than a friend but even more transparent that it would never happen due to his stupidity not five minutes prior. The realization made him writhe in the dirt and turned his coat from it's usually gleaming silver and black to a dull and tatty grey. He didn't care though, nothing seemed to matter at the moment least of all his appearance. He wanted Alonzo, he needed him to help him through this but it was impossible. After a moment more of bawling he whipped himself back into proper form with great protest from his heart. It wasn't proper for a cat of his stature to be seen as weak. Small sobs threatened to turn into pained cries again as he shakily made his way home. He arrived at the house and slid sadly through the cat-flap in the back door. He settled down on his bed and tried to think of what to do. No ideas to help him materialized, all he knew was that he couldn't face the junkyard for a while – a thought that pained him almost as much as his longing for Alonzo.

Munk had been the same all week. The usual affection he showed for his humans and strong presence he provided the Jellicles with was becoming noticeable in it's absence by both parties. His humans had considered taking him to the vet as he lay solemnly in his bed, barely moving, not eating and looking rather shabby in appearance. Munk usually would have run at the mere suggestion of the prodding and poking animal doctor yet now he couldn't care less if they took him. The kind of pain he was feeling wasn't something that could be fixed by a human, only one particular cat could fix it. He had prevented himself from crying at nights when he stayed away from the junkyard, he didn't want even himself to witness his tears. It was neither strong nor steadfast, two traits he prized more than anything or so it seemed. He questioned whether he cared for those things anymore for after all what was the point of pretending to be strong when inside he felt like a frightened and tormented little kitten? He was ashamed with himself and the feeling made him despair but not nearly as much as he despaired for Alonzo.

It would be two weeks before anything would change for either tom.

The end of October seemed to go slowly for all the Jellicles. Munk and Alonzo were too conflicted to do anything and the other cats were anxious that both of their protectors had seemingly given up keeping them safe. There were rumours that Macavity was planning something soon and many of them became scared that they would be completely undefended should he attack. Macavity was a villainous and evil cat, he had long ago been a Jellicle but had since gone very, very bad, the reason for which was not known. He had tried many times to attack the Jellicles and had nearly succeeded at the Jellicle Ball two years ago. All of the cats were scared of him as they knew what he was capable of. While never having been attacked themselves there had been stories and rumours of his handiwork going on around town. The dangerously patterned tom had been maiming and killing cats to satisfy his sick pleasure and the tales had wormed their way back to the junkyard in one way or another. Munk had always been on high alert for the heinous cat's appearance but at that time he was nowhere to be seen. The Jellicles needed someone to keep them safe but they had no one that was as strong or as smart as Munk and they felt at a loss. Alonzo was just as useless in his state. They needed Munk back, but how were they going to do it?

On the first day of November Jenny gathered many of the Jellicles and spoke to them,

"What is going on around here?" she asked simply hoping someone might be able to tell her. The cats just stared back, hoping the same thing she was.

"What has made Munk and Alonzo change so suddenly? They are usually the best of friends, are they not?"

Everyone nodded,

"So why are things like they are?"

"I've been hearing a lot of strange noises coming from Alonzo's den lately" offered Demeter, "has anyone tried to talk to him?"

"Yes, I have" chimed Bomba, "he doesn't say a word and just lays there all day occasionally rising just to let out some rage"

"And what of Munk?" asked Jenny

"No one's seen him. He's gone, completely gone" said Demeter

"That's not true" said Mistoffelees, "I went to his house to see if he was there but he wouldn't come out to see me. I tapped on the window for ages but he didn't even budge"

"Did they have an argument?" asked Jenny

"I think whatever they had was a bit more than an argument. Have you ever seen them stay away from each other for so long?" said Jelly

"We've got to do something. Someone needs to get them to talk"

The Jellicles all looked at each other, who was going to have to try and get the toms to speak? After a moment Bomba piped up,

"I suppose I can try and get Alonzo to talk, I don't think it'll work though"

"Would you, dear?" asked Jenny, "Thank you for trying to help"

Bomba just gave a half-hearted smile and rose. She was stopped by Tugger who stepped in front of her.

"Let me give it a go" he said with his usual double meaning.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked him

"Well I can't make things worse, can I?"

"You can" she said knowing him too well

"Well I won't this time" he responded with a smile and began to make for Alonzo's den. Bomba looked after him hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid like he was prone to do.

Tugger bounced up the junk and burst into Alonzo's den. He found the tom sitting hunched over on his bed looking miserable. He jumped down next to the tom and greeted him with incredible inappropriateness.

"Hey, blotchy!" he said to the tom receiving not even a look from him.

"Not talking to anyone now?" he asked after a few seconds of silence, "What's got you in such a mood?"

Still no answer.

"It's to do with Munk, isn't it?" he asked with a sly smile

"…"

"I always thought you chose the wrong brother to get close to"

Alonzo shot him an angry stare that made Tugger smile even more.

"Don't look at me like that, 'Lonzy. All I'm saying is you'd never have any problems getting up close and personal with me"

Alonzo looked away feeling annoyed at Tugger's attempts to take advantage of his vulnerable state.

"Well you know what I mean" Tugger said, "Do you think you might be able to sort something out between you two though? It's making everyone worried"

Alonzo slumped down onto the bed and buried his face in the blankets. Tugger took a good hard look at Alonzo's behind as the tom turned away and had a great many evil thoughts. He decided he wasn't getting anywhere after bringing his eyes back up and knew it was time to tag in Bomba. He got up and made for the door but stopped just before he left,

"Hey, remember what I said. If you ever need to let off some steam, you know…physically, you know where to find me"

Alonzo gave no response and didn't even move as the bigger tom hit on him. Tugger left feeling smug, at least the seeds had been sown and if they grew: bonus.

He made his way back over to the larger group of Jellicles and spoke to Bomba,

"Your turn"

She rolled her eyes at him and made her own way over.

The red queen gingerly climbed to the outside of Alonzo's den. She hadn't a clue what to do and hoped she could improvise something that might make him at least leave his home. She coughed to announce herself as she lay her eyes on the patched tom inside. He was slumped on his bed with has back turned to her. His ears turned in her direction as he heard her approach but he didn't turn his body. There was a sense of malaise that hung in the air and Bomba felt strange attempting to talk to him. She begun in the only way she could think of,

"What's up, patches?"

She received no reply.

"Alonzo, I know you can hear me"

Still nothing.

"Alonzo, I need to talk to you, it's about Munk"

Alonzo seemed to stir a little but stopped himself from looking too interested.

"You and he need to talk to each other. The mood is becoming critical out there and we need to get things back on track. Now, the only way that's going to happen is if you two start talking again so you need to dry up and swallow your pride"

Alonzo would have felt angry at her audacity but he didn't have the strength or will to respond with fire. He merely sat up and with shadowy eyes looked up at her. She felt uneasy as he stared at her in such a dark way and he started to speak,

"You have no idea, Bomba. You have no idea"

The queen didn't really know what he was talking about so she asked,

"What do you mean?"

"You have no idea what's happened between us"

"Then why don't you tell me"

"No"

"Then how do you expect me to help you?"

"I don't"

"Alonzo, come on! Don't be so introverted! Talk to me!"

"Why?"

"Who else would you talk to?" she said bringing up memories of the conversation they'd had a little while ago. Alonzo stared back at her with knowing in his eyes. He reluctantly began to voice his troubles,

"Things have gone wrong" he started. Bomba waited patiently for him to continue,

"About three weeks ago, Munk tried to stopone of my dates"

"With that little black tom?" asked Bomba. Alonzo nodded before carrying on,

"I confronted him about it and we started to argue. One thing led to another and we kissed."

He stopped at that moment, he had to let the memory sink into him yet again.

"You kissed?" Bomba asked starting to piece together the problems in her mind

"Yes"

"How was it?"

Alonzo looked at her wondering how she could ask such a question at that moment but eventually let his memory take over,

"It was strange. Good strange. For a moment it felt right but then it just felt shocking"

"So, what now?"

"I don't know"

"You're going to talk to him, right?"

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"I just can't Bomba, okay?" Alonzo said raising his voice with the strain he felt surfacing vocally. Bomba didn't like indecision, she addressed him in a way that was very typical of her methods for dealing with such a remark,

"Stop being such a drama-puss! Everlasting, Alonzo! So you two kissed, big whoop! It's not like it's the end of the world. Why on earth would you complain anyway? You said you felt like there was something between you so why protest him trying to show you how he obviously feels. And yes, I know you could say it was a moment of madness but come on, he must have been showing how he really felt. If you ask me Alonzo you're being stupid, really stupid and I think you need to grow up and handle this like a real tom"

With that she hurried out of the den. Hopefully she had angered him enough to make him want to talk to Munk to spite her. Unfortunately for Bomba, Alonzo was not in a state to be spoken to in such a way. If anything she just made him feel even worse. He began to sniffle as he felt what she said was true, maybe Munk really did like him that way, after all it had certainly sounded like he did from what he said. He lay there for hours thinking over the deeper meanings.

Four days later on the 5th of November he raised himself up and began to walk forward shakily. He had decided that he needed to tell Munk how he felt and find out once and for all if he liked him back. He hadn't thought about what he would do if Munk said yes, he only knew that his life would be lost if he said no. He left his den in the middle of the night and slowly made his way to the quiet street where the silver tabby lived. At least, it would have been quiet had it not been Guy Fawkes night. There were loud bangs from fireworks everywhere and white smoke circled in the night sky. Alonzo felt rather intimidated by the bright flashes and squealing rockets but knew he needed to press on. He climbed over garden walls and under fences and eventually made it to the tom's human's house. He stared up at the green painted windowsill from his vantage point amongst some flowers. He knew he needed to climb up there to be able to see into the home but felt reluctant to do so. The next moment was going to decide whether Munk was in his future or not and he didn't want to have to bear a negative outcome. He stood there for a while as the air got gradually colder and he began to shiver. He was about to go for it when a noise behind him stopped him. He quickly spun around to see Munk looking back at him from the very middle of the lawn. Alonzo felt a warmth he hadn't felt in weeks at the sight of the almost glowing tabby in the moonlight. He wanted to run up and cling to his friend but knew he couldn't so they stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Eventually Alonzo spoke with a cracked voice,

"Hey, Munk"

"Hey, 'Lonz" replied the silver tabby, surprised and unsure at seeing his friend. The two began to walk towards each other like two cats who had never met. They stopped with some distance still between them. Alonzo spoke again,

"How have you been?"

"From the look of it I'd say about the same as you"

They were silent for a moment,

"What happened that night, Munk?"

"Something that shouldn't have"

"Do you really mean that?"

Munk wanted to tell Alonzo how he felt but didn't know how.

"What am I meant to say, 'Lonz?"

"Say what you feel" the patched tom said showing some of the pain he retained

"I don't know what I feel" Munk replied desperately

"Say anything"

Only the sounds of explosions from fireworks above them could be heard for a moment before Munk spoke again. He couldn't handle the stress anymore and decided to put their friendship on the line,

"I think I love you, Alonzo"

They gazed at each other again with fixed, unreadable expressions. Alonzo didn't feel shocked at his friend's words, he felt like he'd finally heard what he'd wanted to hear for a long time.

"I don't know what to say" said Alonzo

"Say anything" replied Munk echoing his friend's words.

"I feel like you can't be my friend anymore, I can't carry on without you being more. I know I love you."

One might think they would rush into each other's arms and live happily ever after at that point but they didn't. They continued to stare without faltering for a moment.

"I don't know what to do now" said Munk feeling rather numb inside

"Me either" replied Alonzo. Like they had been doing the whole time they kept staring at each other trying to crack the hard outer shell they both presented. Eventually Alonzo grew tired of the unchanging feeling of stillness. He turned to leave before Munk called out to him,

"Wait" he said. Alonzo stopped for a moment and looked back. Munk was reaching out to him and hoping desperately that his friend who he had said he thought he loved wouldn't go.

"Munk, I need you to know you love me like I love you, not just think"

"How do you love me?"

"I don't know, I just need to know that you do". The patched tom left the garden sadly. He had hoped their meeting might have gone a lot better than it did, or that it had gone in any way whatsoever. Their confrontation had felt bland, like it had neither gone well nor badly. What did this mean and where did they stand? Alonzo walked back to the junkyard in a daze unaware of the dangerous cat known as Macavity watching him from the shadows and following him in silence.

Munk remained still in the moonlight clouded with smoke. He hadn't told Alonzo he loved him in the right way and he needed to make it right. He needed Alonzo to be his.

Alonzo was at a loss as he returned back to the yard. He saw the other cats fixate on him expectantly, perhaps he and Munk had made up. That, however, wasn't so. Alonzo walked into the middle of the clearing and looked at the gathered Jellicles with darkness. Without speaking he told them exactly what they wanted to know and they seemed to deflate at the news. He looked at them each individually and eventually settled on Bomba. He stared at her with anger for making him do what he didn't want to and she stared back with regret. He was about to speak when a huge firework exploded in the air behind him. In the bright red light and commotion Macavity appeared looking fearsome. Without time to react the horrifying cat was on top of Alonzo and was hacking away at his body with his claws. Alonzo took a startled moment to comprehend the situation and then started to hit back . He hit back hard and fast and tried everything to throw off the bigger tom. With one heavy blow he made his attacker fall backwards and he managed to climb to his feet. The two began to circle each other and then they both jumped in to scuffle some more. Macavity was moving quickly and managed to make some good swipes at Alonzo. The patched tom – stricken with sadness and surprise – was doing his best to defend himself. He was losing though, and losing fast. With one hard blow to the stomach Macavity crippled his opponent and sent him writhing to the floor unable to breath. While he was down Alonzo was dragged up by his head fur and Macavity placed his claws on the tom's throat. Alonzo felt serious danger for his life and began to squirm. Macavity began to graze the skin under Alonzo's fur and drops of blood began to leak from his delicate throat. The evil tom stooped in low and whispered into the tom's ear, it was incredibly quiet but Alonzo's eyes widened and he seemed to become deeply horrified. Macavity began to go in for the fatal blow and raised his paw above his head. He brought it down with tremendous speed and claws extended but it was stopped in midair. He turned just in time to see a silver and black tabby grasp his arm and then claw him across the face. He fell back with a cry and Munk was on top of him in a moment, swiping and hitting the tom with ferocity. Alonzo flipped around and gazed in shock at the scene. If Munk hadn't shown up he'd be choking on his own blood by now and he began to shake from the fear and adrenaline. The tabby and the ginger cat continued to fight nastily whilst Munk had a crazed look of fury in his eyes. Alonzo had never seen him like this before and he for the first time in his life he felt scared of his friend. Munk kept fighting and fighting and eventually delivered the ultimate action. In the blink of an eye he closed his sharp teeth around one of Macavity's ears and tore it clean from his head. Macavity roared in pain and jumped away throwing Munk back in the process. The tabby spat his prize to the floor and looked at Macavity with blazing anger.

"I told you never to come back here!" he growled seeming to spit fire, "I warned you I would defend them to the death, Macavity! If you ever come back here I will kill you! Do you understand? I. Will. Kill you!"

With that Macavity ducked low and swiped his now detached ear. He turned to run but then stopped to deliver a few words. He looked directly at the horrified Alonzo and spoke with great evil,

"I will be back for you. Not for anyone else but you. Remember how afraid you are now, I promise you that you've seen nothing yet." With a spit of rage he took off into the night as if he'd never been there at all.

Alonzo lay slumped on the ground, Munk fell to his knees in front of the tom and pulled him close. The two shook as they held each other tightly and Munk spoke,

"I'm so sorry Alonzo. I had no idea he was there, it's my job to keep you all safe and I wasn't here. I'm so, so sorry"

Alonzo remained shaking in the slightly bigger tom's arms. While he was scared he suddenly felt much safer in the strong tabby's embrace. He buried his face in his friend's well defined chest and nuzzled the fur that covered it. He leaked a few small tears as he swam in the beautiful feeling that washed over him like a wave, so warm and so secure. From his position – wrapped in the silver tabby – he spoke quietly,

"You saved me, Munk. He would have killed me if you hadn't come. Why were you there?"

Munk swallowed hard and spoke timidly - something he never did,

"I had to tell you I love you. Properly. I didn't want to leave things like I did and I had to come and tell you. I want us to be together, 'Lonz. You're right, we simply can't be friends anymore." He pulled Alonzo tighter and tipped his head up by his chin to look into his eyes "I need more. I want you, I need you, please say you'll have me"

Alonzo felt shocked at the declaration of love. He'd never had one before and didn't know quite how to feel. He would have preferred the sentiments to be said under different circumstances but he felt so strongly for his knight in shining armour. He felt love for him, he knew it clearly now.

"I love you too, Munk. I love you so much"

With the two not needing to say anything more, they kissed. It was soft and beautiful as fireworks danced in the sky above them while the Jellicles all looked on in amazement. Munk and Alonzo knew nothing of it though. Once again they were happy, and now – finally - they were together.

You think it's over? It's only just begun! I'm nowhere near finishing yet, everything still has to hit the fan!

Thanks for reading, your reviews are lovely, please keep 'em coming!