"I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep." Prelude 12/21 – AFI
We crossed the grounds in silence, me trying to think of something to say, and him, quietly brooding. The grass we walked on snapped and crackled beneath our feet, a reminder that winter was fast on its way. The frost seemed to sparkle in the dim lights that hung from barren white trees, the leaves they once held dear gone, another casualty of autumn. I had to admit it looked pretty outside. Winter always did though, if you could ignore the biting cold winds, and the foot high piles of snow that came with it. We saw no one as we walked towards the building where they were hosting the awards show, but of course everyone was already inside. I was late. As usual.
It was a habit I had always had, and it used to annoy Dimitri no end. I smiled slightly at that. I could list more than a hundred times I had raced over to the gym to find him standing outside; arms crossed, with a scowl on his face that said he quite clearly knew I was late and did not appreciate it. Then again, he didn't seem to appreciate me at all anymore. My smile faded as quickly as it had come. Thoughts of Dimitri always distracted me, and without realising it, we had arrived.
"Ready Rose?" His question seemed loaded, but I understood why. By walking in together, we were saying something. It wasn't an obvious statement, but it was more than just two people walking into a room together. I may not understand Moroi social politics, (I was remarkably less subtle, preferring my fists to settle things, rather than the mind games the Moroi favoured) but I knew that this wouldn't go un-noticed.
I steeled a breath. Everyone I knew and worked with was in there. High up Moroi were in there. My friends were in there. This was a big thing. And I didn't even understand what I was saying by walking in with Adrian. Not completely. I knew he liked me, but I also knew he was a playboy. I knew I felt some attraction to him, but it was complex, and besides, the last few times I had seen him I was in love with Dimitri, or trying to deal with the death of one of my best friends, and my kinda boyfriend. Our relationship was anything but simple. And yet I wanted this.
I wanted to walk in there, head held high, laughing and smiling. I owed it to the Rose I used to be, the one who did things like this. So I threw back my head, lifted my shoulders up and smiled at him.
"I'm ready."