Sorry this one took over a week to write. Exams have been getting in the way and this chapter has been surprisingly hard to write. I don't know why, maybe the stress of putting too much drama into one story is taking it's toll on my health. Or maybe it's because this one's the longest one I've written so far; over 13,000 words in fact. Who can say?
WARNING: Bad language (A couple of F-bombs get dropped)
British colloquialism: In British English the term 'Wanker' as the word implies does not necessarily mean 'One who masturbates' and is rarely used in that context. Instead it is commonly used as a general insult towards a man conveying contempt instead of any sexual connotations. The term is considered quite rude and is not used in polite conversation. It is used only for the purpose of insulting someone as you will see when Alonzo gets angry later in this chapter.
A year in the life of the black and white toms
Chapter 18
Revelation
Alonzo awoke peacefully the next morning and for the first time was pleased to hear birdsong. It no longer was the sound of a better life just outside the door that he couldn't obtain, it was the sound of beauty and freedom and was perfectly within his grasp. He snuggled quietly into Munk's arms as he waited for the tabby to wake up and thought about what they would do that day. As he pondered his mind drifted back to the previous day and how enlightening it had been for him. He wondered now how he could have been so scared for so long; even though he appreciated the power his depression had had over him it now seemed rather silly in retrospect. He continued to go through the memory in his mind and he felt his heart flutter as he remembered how good it had been to lay down at the end of the day and be with his mate without feeling undeserving. He remembered that they had been speaking in the last few moments before they went to sleep and he grew excited as he thought about how he had asked to start afresh this morning. He relished the idea of having a clean slate and was now only too eager to begin the day. Hadn't he asked something else though? Yes, he had suggested they do something together so they could move on together. It was a good idea but had they decided on anything? Munk had been saying something but Alonzo was drowsy and hadn't been paying that much attention. He tried to cast his mind back and remember what the tabby had said and begun to receive flashes. Munk had said something about Billy, hadn't he? Something about Billy being there for a while since he hadn't any family left, something about Billy needing a good home with good cats to care for him.
Alonzo began to brush the thought aside since it didn't seem that important. He couldn't really remember what his mate had said so he would just ask later on. In the meantime Alonzo closed his eyes to snooze but still the thought remained. As it faded slightly Alonzo suddenly remembered what it was Munk had said. He had suggested that they adopt Billy and raise him as their own. 'That sounds nice' he thought sleepily.
Alonzo's eyes shot open after a moment. The tom bolted upright in bed and stared slack-jawed across the den. Immediately the sleeping tabby next to him jumped up in a panic and began scanning around their home.
"What? What is it?" Munk asked frantically
Alonzo stared at him stupidly and began to dither. The memory had hit him with such force he simply couldn't produce words of any real meaning and continued to make noises that Munk couldn't decipher. The tabby quickly held his mate's head in his paws and spoke as calmly as he could when he realised there was no apparent danger.
"'Lonz, what's wrong?"
Alonzo shook his head and swallowed hard before he commanded his facial muscles to comply with his brain.
"Adopt Billy?" he croaked
"Oh…that" said Munk now thinking it had been a stupid idea to suggest it to his mate while they were in bed. "Not so keen on the idea then?"
"Gah…" was all Alonzo could manage at first and then, "Are you serious?"
Munk looked down at his mate and tried to reason with him using his eyes,
"Well, I thought it would be a good thing. He needs parents and we need something to concentrate on to forget what's happened in the last few months"
"A kitten, Munkustrap? Are you crazy?"
Munk lowered his gaze and appeared a little deflated. He had hoped Alonzo would like the idea or at least think about it calmly; then again it was Alonzo and when he went off like a rocket he was difficult to contain. It was a shame really, as he had been thinking about it he'd become excited at the prospect of being a dad.
"Well, no, I'm not crazy. I've been thinking about it for a while but I haven't suggested it because I didn't think you could handle it"
"A kitten? You really think we could take care of a kitten?"
"Of course we could. You'd be a great father and besides you look just like each other"
"And that'll make it okay, will it?"
"Couldn't hurt…" said Munk quietly
"I just…How could…What…Aah!" said Alonzo before storming out of the den in a flurry. He had not been ready for that by any means.
"Will you think about it?" called Munk after his mate. He got no answer and just rolled his eyes as he lay back down and tried to rest his eyes for a little while longer.
Alonzo stomped down from the den and across the junkyard. He didn't know where to go or what to do but he knew he didn't want to hang around with Munk for the time being. He was so freaked out by the idea of suddenly being a father he felt like he was losing his mind. In a very childish manner he stormed down one of the junkyard's many trails in a huff and muttered obscenities as he went.
He felt as if he wanted to talk to someone but at the same time he didn't. He was quite confused to say the least and as such he simply didn't know what to do. As he continued to trudge along he rounded several corners and soon found himself a long way from the clearing. He didn't realise exactly how far he had gone and rounding another corner he encountered something he had seen before.
There, on the ground, lay Bomba and Tugger kissing and grinding furiously. Alonzo grimaced as he saw them rub against each other and let out a loud groan as his eyes were assaulted by their heated display. The pair looked up as their privacy was intruded upon and while Bomba blushed Tugger yelled at Alonzo.
"Everlasting Cat, Alonzo! Fuck off, would you?"
Alonzo glared back in response to the comment but decided that what Tugger had said was probably a good idea. He didn't hang around but he wanted to have the last word before he left,
"Well fuck you back, Tugger!"
"Oh yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you? Isn't my goody-two-shoes brother giving you any?"
"Bite my fucking arse, Tugger! I bet he's way better than you are and anyway he's hotter!"
He left Tugger speechless at that last comment and though angry he felt slightly proud that he'd one-upped the flirtatious idiot. As he turned to go Tugger attempted to resume his and Bomba's sordid intimacy but the red queen wasn't responding.
"Come on, babe" he pleaded, "Don't leave me all charged up"
Bomba just gave him an apathetic look before replying, "Nah. The moment's gone now"
"Don't do this to me, Bomba! Don't let me go cold!"
The queen grinned evilly. She loved it when he was putty in her paws and she stuck to her guns.
"I don't feel like it anymore" she said as she pushed herself off of the Maine coon and stood up. Tugger let his head flop back in frustration and stayed lying on the ground pouting. Bomba smirked and went to follow Alonzo.
As the black and white tom stomped away from where he had happened upon his mate's brother and his lover he began to slow down as he realised he had nowhere to go. As he became slower and slower he eventually stopped and sat down on the junk at the side of the trail. He stared straight ahead for a few moments before he placed his face in his paws and groaned loudly. He felt he was really in a mess now and wished he knew what to do. How could Munk even think about having a kitten at that moment in time? Sure, it would be nice but he hadn't expected them to even consider a family until at least a few years into their relationship. Alonzo didn't know whether he was angry with his mate or upset or confused or anything. He was so thrown off guard he simply didn't know how he was meant to be so he just sat there waiting for his mind to come to some sort of reason.
Munk - now feeling much more awake than earlier - emerged from the den into the morning air. It was much warmer in the mornings now and summer was very nearly there. Munk breathed in the sweet smelling air and he smiled as he felt the sun warm his fur. He was still a little disappointed that his mate had reacted so badly at the mere suggestion of adopting Billy but he decided not to let it get him down. If anything he was happy that Alonzo had returned to being the firecracker he usually was and knew that once he had calmed down he might want to talk about it like an adult.
Munk decided to do his rounds to take his mind off of it and proceeded to climb down from the junk and saunter across the clearing. He made his way across the open space and was passing Jenny and Skimble's den when he heard the unmistakeable sound of the tabby queen being bossy. He knew he should have known better than to intrude and potentially become victim to her commands but his curiosity got the better of him and he slowly climbed up the junk to enter the den. Inside he found the kittens sitting in a circle around the queen each with a crochet hook and seeming to make a huge mess of some wool. Munk puzzled at what on earth the queen had them doing and assumed they must have been doing it wrong whatever it was judging by her shrill tone. Jenny seemed to be trying to help them all at once and the kittens were certainly not making it an easy job for her.
Munk cleared his throat to announce himself and suddenly all eyes were upon him.
"Munk!" cried the kittens in unison and dropped their tangled lengths of wool before running over to him. Jenny looked like she was losing the will to live and gladly sat back as she took a breather from her task.
"What's going on?" asked Munk hoping it wasn't a foolish thing to inquire about.
"Jenny's teaching us to crochet" said Pouncival brightly. Munk looked across to the stressed queen and she nodded in acknowledgement before speaking,
"They saw me doing it and asked me to teach them"
"Any luck?"
"See for yourself" she said gesturing to the tangled messes of wool and needles on the ground around her
"I see," said Munk as a smile crossed his lips. He found it quite funny how quickly the kittens became fascinated with something. "How well do you guys think you're doing?" he asked them
"Really well" chirped Tumblebrutus, "We'll be really good at it soon"
"I'm sure you will" smirked the tabby, "Why don't you get back to it"
"Nah. I'm bored now" said Pouncival and immediately each of the kittens agreed with him. "Come on guys"
Jenny sighed frustratingly as she watched the kittens she had spent so long trying to teach quickly disappear from the den. Munk sympathized with her and proceeded to pick up the woollen messes the kittens had created during their short period of fascination.
"Thank you" she said simply as she took them from the tabby and went to put them away. It was then that Skimble came out from hiding and came towards Munk. As he passed his mate she asked a question,
"Do you have any scotch?"
"It's still morning" he replied
"Are you sure? It seems like I've been trying to teach them all day"
"I'm quite sure"
"Pity, I rather think I could use some. Never mind…" she said as she disappeared further into the den. Skimble then came over to Munk.
"Are they gone?" the scotch tom asked
"Yes. They got bored of crocheting quite quickly it seems"
"Good. They were making such a mess I had to get away"
"I don't blame you"
"Well, they're good kittens really; quite a handful but good nonetheless. That Billy's certainly a character, isn't he?"
"Oh yes. I reckon he'll always be that way."
"His poor mother…" laughed Skimble. Munk closed his eyes and sighed as he was reminded of what had yet to tell Billy. "Sorry, is something wrong?" asked Skimble having seen the tabby deflate
"Yes, in a way. Billy's mother is dead, Skimble. Macavity killed her"
The ginger tabby looked at him shocked – a reaction he had become all too used to recently.
"Dead? Does Billy know?"
"No. I haven't told him because I just don't know how"
"Everlasting Cat, the poor boy…"
"I know"
"What are we going to do?"
"Well, I've been thinking about it for a while and Old Deuteronomy suggested me and Alonzo adopt him"
"Adopt him?" asked Skimble with surprise
"Yep…" said Munk lightly – no cat could react in a way that would rival the way Alonzo had done that morning and he waited for Skimble to continue.
"You and Alonzo want to be his parents?"
"Well, I think I do. I only asked Alonzo this morning and he didn't take it too well"
"Right… Do you think you can manage?"
"Don't you think I can?"
Skimble thought for a moment before replying, "Yeah, I reckon you could. You'd probably be really good at it as well"
"Well it's good to see somebody thinks so"
"Alonzo doesn't fancy the idea then?"
"He was a little shocked but I'm hoping he'll come around to it"
"Where is he now?"
"Off somewhere sulking. He had a bit of a hissy fit when I suggested it to him and then he stormed off"
"Hmm. Do you think he might consider it eventually"
"We'll just have to wait and see. I'm not even sure I could manage, let alone him"
Skimble patted him on the shoulder and smiled at him, "I'm sure you could. It seems like out of all of us you'd be the best at being a dad"
Munk smiled thinly and looked down, "I don't know. It always feels right whenever ever I look after Billy but I don't know if I'd be up to taking care of him as a father. I mean, what if I screw it up really badly?"
Skimble laughed, "Every new parent screws something up. You just have to chalk it up to experience"
Munk felt a little better and looked over as he noticed Jenny come back in. Skimble called across to her as she came,
"Darling, guess what? Munk and Alonzo are thinking about adopting Billy"
The queen straightened up quickly and stared across at them. "Adopt him? What about his mother?"
Munk sighed again, he was getting tired of having to tell cat after cat the same thing. "She's dead, Jenny. Macavity killed her"
The queen looked as shocked as Skimble had been and the tabby just waited for her to react.
"Oh my. Oh poor Billy" she said frightfully, "Oh that poor, sweet little kitten! He's completely alone in the world! Oh, what are we going to do? Well, I suppose I'll take care of him. He'll need someone to look after him until we can make proper plans and I'm sure I can manage. But still, the poor little thing!"
"Dear, didn't you hear? Munk and Alonzo are thinking about adopting him" said Skimble trying to get through to her. Jenny paused for a moment and then fixated on the silver tabby. As Munk took in her expression he was suddenly filled with a slight coldness he had never received from her before and he was put on edge at this new demeanour he never expected he'd see from the queen. Her eyes were slightly squinted and they felt as if they might cut right through him if she wanted them to. She stood up very tall and appeared quite rigid as well giving her a very authoritative look. Perhaps the most intensive thing about her was the angle of her head; it was tilted slightly upwards and her ears were pointed forward while her eyes were locked to his. She seemed to be examining him as if she'd never seen him before and he didn't feel comfortable by any means. After a few moments she opened her mouth to speak,
"You and Alonzo want to adopt Billy?" she asked without any feeling whatsoever. Munk shuffled slightly and flicked his ears nervously,
"…Well, we were thinking about it" he said meekly
Jenny stepped quite close to him and seemed to stare straight into his soul. Munk hesitated as he waited for what she was going to say next.
"Why on earth would you think that was a good idea?"
Munk was quite taken aback by the remark and struggled to think of something to say, "Well, he doesn't have any parents so Old Deuteronomy thought maybe me and Alonzo should be them for him"
"You and Alonzo? Then what? Will Tugger and Bomba be wanting to adopt a kitten as well?"
"No, of course not…"
"Well, they may as well if you two think you can take care of a kitten properly"
"I was thinking it would be a good idea for him to have parents that love him"
"And do you love him?"
"I'm sure we could learn to"
"Parenting is much more than loving, Munkustrap. Have you considered how much more you'll need to do?" Jenny said becoming more irate
"Well, I'm sure we could learn to-"
"So you think you'll both just pick it up as you go along?"
"Isn't that how most parents do it?"
Jenny looked horrified, "No, it's not! There's so much you should know"
"Well, I was hoping you would help us along the way" said Munk hopefully but by now feeling thoroughly shot down
"Do you really think you could both pick it up so easily? Alonzo especially. No offense, Munkustrap, but he certainly doesn't have a good track record. Remember when he used to bring a different tom home every night? Who's to say he won't resume such a rambunctious lifestyle now that he's better?"
"I don't think he'll be bringing toms home, Jenny"
"You know what I mean. His lifestyle is not conducive to bringing up a kitten"
Munk looked crestfallen, "Is there no way you can see that he needs parents"
"Oh I can see he needs parents but I'm quite certain that you and Alonzo are not right"
Munk felt quite sad. He had hoped Jenny would be supportive but she had gone completely the other way. She had made him feel completely incapable of being a parent and his hopes for being a father along with Alonzo were quickly drifting away. He wondered if he ought to say anything else but he realised Jenny was the be all and end all when it came to looking after kittens.
"Well…thank you for being honest" said Munk as he turned to leave. He felt stupid for letting himself believe he could be good enough to be Billy's father.
Skimble, having watched his mate turn very nasty very quickly – which was quite out of character for her - suddenly jumped in as he watched Munk walk away. He felt he really ought to try and salvage what he assumed Munk had been so enthusiastic about.
"Hold on a minute, Munk." He turned to his mate, "Jenny, do you realise how ridiculous you sound?"
"I beg your pardon?" asked the angered queen
"You've been saying Munk is not fit to be a parent. Take a step back and look at how ridiculous that is"
"Why is it ridiculous? Neither one of them are prepared and neither of their lifestyles can accommodate a kitten"
"Well, cats can change, Jenny. Of course they'll be capable. I'm sure they're not taking this lightly, right Munkustrap?"
"Right" said Munk feeling a tiny spark of hope
"See?" continued the ginger tom. "Come on, dear, be reasonable"
"I am being reasonable!" Jenny said crossly, "How would they even know where to begin?"
"Don't you remember when you first started out? I do. You were terrible. In some ways it's amazing Victoria made it through the first few weeks the way you thought you ought to be doing things. Now look at you, you're the best at it. How were you any different from how they are now?"
"Well, obviously I was…well, I knew to…I...umm…" said the queen. Skimble smirked – he had cornered her. "Even so, how is it possible that either of them could change enough to be suitable to look after Billy?"
Skimble turned to Munk, "Munk, how much do you care for Billy?"
"So much" said the silver tabby quietly but firmly
"How much will you care for him if you were his father?"
"As much as I care for Alonzo"
"Would you do anything to make sure he feels safe and loved"
"Of course"
"And would Alonzo do the same"
"I think so"
Skimble turned back to his mate, "You see? Billy would be fine"
Jenny looked at the ginger tom, then at the silver, then back again. She spent a few moments thinking about what had been said and after a while she spoke again.
"Are you sure you'd be up to it, Munkustrap?" she asked firmly
Munk took a deep breath and locked eyes with her, "I promise you that if we adopt Billy we will be wonderful parents and will stop at nothing to make sure he's well looked after"
Jenny was quiet for a few seconds more and then softened a little. "Alright then" she said apprehensively.
"Thank you" said Munk feeling better. "You know, I'll really need your help when we first start out. You know better than anyone else how to take care of kittens"
"Yes, that's true"
"I know we don't know where to start but I'm sure we'll learn very quickly if you help us"
"Well, we'll see"
"Oh I'm sure of it. It's like…well, for instance: preparing milk properly. I've never had to do it for a kitten so I'm not sure how to-"
"Oh come on Munkustrap, that's an easy one…" said Jenny before slipping into her motherhood mode and going on about preparing milk. Munk listened intently and was happy that she seemed to be coming around. As he listened he quickly glanced over to Skimble and the ginger tom winked at him with a smile. Munk smiled back and silently conveyed a solemn 'thank you'.
Alonzo hadn't been left thinking for long as he heard light footfalls coming towards him from the direction he had just stormed. He looked up to see the queen that had become much more of a friend to him in the past couple of months than she ever had been before. He didn't greet her as she came close and sat down beside him and he just sat there as she began to speak,
"Sorry about that, just spending some time with Tugger"
"I wonder sometimes how you can bear his…Tuggerness"
"Well, he's not so bad once you've got him under your thumb. Anyway, what's up with you? You seemed angry before; was it Tugger being a wanker?"
"Don't ask, Bomba…" said Alonzo looking away
"Oh really? That bad?"
"I don't know. Just something I wasn't ready for"
"Well, considering what you've been through recently I don't think it's anything that could shock me"
"I think it could. I know what you're like"
"Then try me"
"Fine," Alonzo took a deep breath, "Well, Munk found out that Billy's mother is…well, she was…when we were with Macavity…"
"Yeah, she's dead, I know" said Bomba simply, "Munk told me"
"Oh…" said Alonzo with surprise before it became sarcasm, "Nice of him to tell me. Anyway, he said he's been thinking it over for a while and he thinks we should adopt Billy. Can you believe that?"
Bomba let out a squeal of joy and pulled Alonzo into the tightest hug she could manage.
"Oh, 'Lonzy! That's great! Oh, you're gonna make such a wonderful dad!"
"Like hell I am!" he said pulling away and gasping for air, "Do you think I'm at all ready to be a dad? It's crazy! I can't be a parent!"
"Why not? What's wrong with you?"
"Have you met me? What do I know about being a dad?"
"Oh Alonzo. You'll pick it up like any other new parent would"
"You're not helping Bomba! Can't you agree that I would be awful as Billy's father?"
"No. You'd be fine"
"How do you know?"
"Because you're you. You can always do anything properly once you pass your inevitable freak out"
"I don't have inevitable freak outs"
"Then what's this?"
Alonzo opened his mouth to speak but then closed it looking sheepish; she was right. "Okay, so maybe I do…"
"Come on, kitty-cat. You'll be fine"
"Bomba, I won't! I'll probably ruin the poor boy! I mean can you imagine the kind of scrapes I'd get him into and then how would I know how to fix it? I don't think I can handle that kind of responsibility and besides how would I know how to bring him up. I can't do it, Bomba. I won't do it. It's not for me. I won't!"
Alonzo worked himself into a frenzy and Bomba had to lean away as he got more and more frantic. As she watched him fall deeper into his crazy moment she decided to take action and slapped him right across the face. The patched tom stopped blabbering and looked back at her with shock. There was a moment of silence between them before Alonzo spoke again,
"Ow! What was that for, you bitch?"
"You were going crazy, I had to stop you somehow. And don't call me a bitch!"
"Well, that's what you are!"
"Shut up, slut!"
"Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!"
"Screw you, Alonzo!"
"Screw you back!"
They glared at each other angrily for a few moments before Bomba broke the silence,
"Come on, 'Lonz, try and see sense, won't you?"
Alonzo huffed and crossed his arms, "Has the whole world gone mad? How could I even begin to be a father?"
"Because I just know you'd be fine. You're such an incredibly caring cat and when you get passionate about something you never let it go. And I'm sure you would love him so much so why do you think you'd fail?"
"I don't know. It just scares me…"
"Have you told Munk that?"
"No. I ran off before we could talk about it"
"Don't you think you should go back and do that?"
"Probably, but I don't want to. I'll just freak out again"
"Nah, you won't. Just take it one step at a time. If you can get through what you got through with Macavity then you can get through this"
"I suppose…maybe…" said Alonzo airily.
"And just think how cute you and Billy will look together! You look so similar he would be like a tiny version of you"
Alonzo chuckled as he thought about it. She was right: the resemblance was uncanny. She continued,
"You realise you won't be doing it alone, don't you? Munk will be there with you and he'll probably take more of the responsibility than you. He'll be the responsible dad and you'll be the fun dad"
Alonzo thought for a moment, "I suppose that's the way it would be…but…no. Seriously, me be a father?"
"Yeah, come on. It's not as bad as you think it is"
"But what if I mess up?"
"What new parent doesn't mess up?"
"I still don't know…"
"Oh, Alonzo. Stop being such a sourpuss, will you? You'd be fine because you have all you need to be a good dad. Parenting can be learnt but a good heart you're born with."
The patched tom looked up at that. He liked what she said and knew she was probably right. He didn't want to admit it but in that single sentence Bomba had dispelled some of his worry. A lot of it still remained but he suddenly felt a little more confident about the idea.
"Do you really think so?" he asked
"I'm sure of it" the queen said happily.
"Hmm…What if he doesn't want me?"
"Oh, I think he will. All kittens need love and even though it will be hard at first I reckon you're up to the challenge"
"I guess so…"
At that point Tugger came down the trail looking annoyed. He wasn't about to let Alonzo interrupt them whenever he felt like it and was determined to drag Bomba back. Alonzo and Bomba looked up as he came near and glared down at them.
"Might I butt in?" he asked sarcastically
"If you must" said Bomba
"Have you two finished your little mother's meeting yet?"
Bomba looked at Alonzo for an answer. The patched looked at her, then at Tugger and realised keeping Bomba was probably more trouble than it was worth.
"Yeah, we're done" he said as he got up and helped Bomba to do the same
"Will you be alright?" the queen asked caringly
"Yeah, I think so" he said with a small smile and a nod
"Okay, I'll catch you later"
"Sure. Have fun with…well, whatever you do" he said awkwardly before turning and leaving.
Tugger and Bomba watched him until he was out of sight and the Maine Coon grabbed the queen at the waist to pull her into a fierce embrace.
"What was all that about?" he asked
Bomba just smiled and kissed him before telling him airily,
"Alonzo's pregnant"
Munk's had been drifting in and out of his conversation with Jenny. She had been prattling on for so long now it seemed as if she'd never stop and the silver tabby was finding it hard to keep up. He was nonetheless happy as she seemed to be warming up to the idea of he and Alonzo becoming parents. He had had no idea that she would react in the way that she did when he first told her and so he did his best to look as interested as possible so as not to provoke her judgement. It was proving tough though as he had missed the last few points she had made and was desperately hoping she wouldn't quiz him on what she'd said. When he realised he must have been looking distant he instantly kicked himself back into listening to her just as she was finishing another point.
"Have you got that, dear?" Jenny asked authoritatively
"Uh…Yes, I think so. I may need to ask you again sometime though"
"Oh really? Which bit in particular?"
"Well...uh…just bits and bobs here and there. I'm sure there's lots more to learn than what you've just said"
"That there is, Munk. That there is but don't worry, I'll help you"
"Thank you. Well, first I have to find Alonzo and talk to him before we even think about how we're going to tell Billy"
"Of course, you're right. If you like I can be there when you do in case of…well, anything."
"Thanks, I'll let you know. Anyway, I best be off. Thank you, Jenny. And Skimble, thank you very much"
"Of course, lad. Don't mention it" the ginger tom said knowingly.
With that Munk gladly left the den and happily breathed in the fresh air. He had felt a tad suffocated with Jenny going on and on but he didn't want to seem rude by leaving. After a few moments of bringing his thoughts together he began to climb down from the junk and started towards one of the junkyard's trails in search of Alonzo. After taking only a few steps he stopped when he saw his mate entering the clearing from another trail and smiled across to him hopefully showing him he meant no harm. Alonzo didn't return the smile but he began to walk across to the tabby. They met in the middle of the clearing and rubbed affectionately in greeting.
"Hello, dear" said Munk happily
"Hi" replied Alonzo trying not to show any emotion at all
"Nice walk?"
"What? Oh…yeah, fine."
"Did you get a chance to think about what I said?"
"Yes"
There was a pause
"And?"
"I'm not sure"
"Well, can we talk about it?"
"I suppose so"
"Come on, let's walk"
Munk took Alonzo's paw and led him off down the trail he had been about to go down. They walked for a little while in the sunshine before Munk began what he assumed as the mammoth task of convincing his mate that adopting Billy was the right thing to do.
"So, that was quite a display you made this morning" the silver tabby began
"Well, I suddenly remembered and freaked out. I mean, do you really think I'm capable of being a father?"
Munk smiled at him, "Of course I do. I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise"
"Are you sure it's not just a crazy idea you had that your mind ran away with?"
"When have I ever had crazy ideas?"
"Well, I suppose that's true. But still, doesn't it seem like a bit too much to handle?"
"'Lonz, do you remember what you said last night? You said that you wanted something for us both to concentrate on so we could forget the whole mess that's gone on recently. Don't you think Billy would occupy us enough so we'd never have to think about it again?"
"I would have settled for learning to knit"
"You, knitting?"
"Well, you know what I mean. But a kitten, Munk? How would we even begin to know where to start?"
"Well, we'd learn, wouldn't we? I mentioned it to Jenny this morning and she said she'd help us when we first started out"
"Did she?"
"Well, it didn't start that way. At first she was even worse than you but thankfully Skimble brought her around and she seemed fine with it in the end."
"So she thought we wouldn't measure up either?"
"At first but she seems okay with it now"
"Well, if she doesn't think we'd be good enough then why should we think so?"
"I said she seemed okay with it now. If she can come around then I certainly think you could."
"Well, I'm still not sure"
"Then let me convince you."
"Go on then"
Munk stopped and sat down. He gestured for Alonzo to sit on his lap and with a roll of his eyes the patched tom complied.
"Okay. Why don't you tell me simply why you don't think you'd be good enough to be a father"
"Fine. I don't think I'm at all capable of bringing up any kitten let alone one as hyperactive as Billy. I think it's highly likely that I'd mess something up really badly and it would have a terrible effect on him. There's that and I just don't think I could handle the responsibility"
Munk calmly listened to how his mate explained his position and tried to think how to respond quickly.
"I see. Well I understand why you feel like that"
"Really? How?"
"Well, if what you were like before we got together is anything to go by then if I didn't know any better then I'd say I was mad for even thinking about adoption"
"So you see where I'm standing then?"
"I do, but there are reason's why thinking that way is wrong. Do you know what they are?"
"Obviously not"
"Well firstly, you're smart. It never takes you long to pick things up and I reckon that learning to be a parent will be a breeze for you. Secondly, you're passionate. I think that when you find out how to devote yourself to Billy nothing will stand in your way to be a good dad for him. Most of all though, 'Lonz, you're a good cat. That goes without saying really. You're such a wonderful tom and when it comes to the cats you care about you're the most loving cat I know. If you let yourself I'm sure you could learn to love Billy and you'll be doing such a wonderful thing."
"What's that?"
"You'll be giving him back the love that was taken away from him. How many kittens in his position can have that lifeline?"
Alonzo hadn't thought about it that way and was silent for a while as he contemplated Munk's words. Truer words hadn't been said about the topic up until that point and he felt the way his mate had just put it was right. So many kittens lose their parents and so few ever get taken care of once that happens. He was being given the chance to care for a kitten that was now all alone in the world and the very thought that he could give love that was desperately needed filled Alonzo with happiness and purpose. He was still petrified at the thought of being a dad but the feeling of goodness was becoming stronger and it showed on the outside.
Munk watched Alonzo as a small smile crept across his lips and he was happy to think that maybe he had brought Alonzo around.
"Do you see what I mean?" the silver tabby asked
Alonzo looked at him and nodded before he spoke, "I do but I'm still not sure. I need more time to think"
"Okay. Take all the time you need. I think it's the right time for you and Billy but I won't rush you. It's all up to you now, 'Lonz. I'll do whatever you decide and I'm sure you'll make the right decision"
"Thank you" said Alonzo quietly. He leant forward and kissed his mate sweetly. It felt good to be able to go to the one he loved for comfort again without feeling undeserving.
When night came Munk and Alonzo stayed up to watch the junkyard. They watched as the Jellicles went about their lives and when the sun began to gently light up the sky the two toms made their way to bed. As they lay there Munk quickly drifted off whereas Alonzo couldn't so much as close his eyes. He had been thinking hard ever since Munk had told him it was his decision and it was only now in the silence that he could really apply some brainpower. That and the nagging of the decision needing to be made wouldn't let him sleep. It dominated his mind and was begging him to decide upon whether or not to tell Munk either yes or no. Alonzo wished he could have anyone decide for him but he knew this was one thing he couldn't pass off onto anybody else. A kittenhood was at stake and at that moment he held Billy's fate in his paws. He wasn't comfortable with having that kind of command but he took solace in the fact that he had all the time he wanted to come to a decision. Now, all he had to do was make some headway with it.
Alonzo lay awake for the rest of the night and by mid-morning he was exhausted. He told Munk and the tabby comforted him as best he could.
The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that. Alonzo was having such a hard time trying to come to decision but he simply couldn't get past square one. He knew where he had to arrive at but in many ways he didn't want to make the first step. He felt he was nowhere near good enough to be a father for Billy.
Another morning came after another sleepless night and Alonzo felt weary. If anything he wanted to have a decision ready so he could simply sleep; that is all he wanted to do. He wanted to rest and he knew the lack of it certainly wasn't helping him to think through his problem. As he saw Munk stir he put on a brave face and snuggled up next to him. The tabby was his comfort during this ordeal and Alonzo liked being able to escape into his embrace. Munk happily received him and held him close as he nuzzled his face into his chest.
"Morning, darling. Any luck sleeping?"
Alonzo remained silent.
"I see," said Munk, "It's really having an effect on you isn't it?"
"Mmm" groaned Alonzo sleepily.
"Well, maybe some fresh air would help"
Alonzo groaned again only this time with defiance in his tone. He didn't want to move, he was too tired.
"Alright, never mind" said Munk. They stayed there for a while longer as Alonzo tried to doze off. He had no success.
As the morning went on the two toms emerged from their den with Munk supporting Alonzo and together they went over to sit on the big tyre. Alonzo leant on Munk as they sat and watched the world go by. In the clearing the kittens were playing happily and the toms paid special attention to Billy. They were glad to see him so happy but were saddened whenever they thought that whatever Alonzo decided they would still have to tell him his mother was no longer alive.
"Wouldn't it be fun to take him to the park and play with him?" said Munk as he thought about the kitten
"Yeah, I suppose" said Alonzo feeling a little happier as he watched the kittens play.
"We could show him how to hunt rats and all sorts, couldn't we?"
"Mmhmm. That's be nice"
"And we could teach him what it means to be a Jellicle…"
"Yeah"
"Wouldn't it all be so nice, 'Lonz?"
"Yeah. I bet it would"
They continued to watch and soon the form of Old Deuteronomy entering the junkyard distracted them. They smiled as they saw the kittens run over to him and marvelled at how easily he interacted with them. It seemed to come so naturally to him and they both hoped they might find it as easy. The old tom smiled at them as he noticed them watching and began to make his way over. When the kittens dispersed he made his way up to sit with them and they shifted over so he could have prime position.
"Good morning, Munkustrap, Alonzo"
"Good morning, sir" they said in unison
"How is everything today?"
"Quite fine," said Munk, "Everything's pretty much as it should be"
"Good. Good."
Old Deuteronomy turned his head to make sure the kittens were out of earshot for what he said next.
"I don't suppose, Munkustrap, you've suggested my idea to Alonzo yet, have you?"
"Yes, sir, he has," said Alonzo
"Splendid! So, what do you say, my boy?" asked the old tom brightly
Alonzo felt embarrassed as he saw how the leader had expected him to jump at the chance to be a father. He timidly replied,
"I…uh…I'm not sure…I mean, I'm not sure if I'd be good enough to…well…"
"Go on"
Alonzo felt he was on the spot and desperately didn't want to disappoint him for his mate's sake. He knew how much his father's approval meant to him.
"Well, when Munkustrap suggested we adopt Billy I was quite surprised and I'm not sure if I'd be any good at being a father"
"I see" said the old tom thoughtfully
"I really don't want to disappoint you and I think it's a nice idea but I'm just not sure if I'd make a good dad. I'm sure Munkustrap would be great but quite honestly I doubt I'd make a good job of it"
"You think I'd be good at it?" asked Munk brightly. Alonzo gave him a smile,
"Yeah. You seem to fit the part so well, I mean, you're just like your father and he's such a natural it seems that some it must have rubbed off onto you"
"Aww, thanks" said Munk and nuzzled his mate. Old Deuteronomy chuckled inwardly as he thought about what Alonzo had said.
"Alonzo, why don't we go for a walk and talk a little bit?"
"I…um…okay…" said Alonzo a little nervously. He had always felt rather lowly in the shadow of Old Deuteronomy and was a little intimidated. Now he was his son's mate he felt as if he had even more to live up to and didn't want to do anything to lower the old tom's opinion of him.
"Do you want me to come too?" asked Munk expectantly
"No, no, son. I'd like to talk to Alonzo alone, if I may?"
"Of course" tittered Alonzo meekly. He felt a bit nervous but swallowed his fear and helped the older tom down from the tyre. Together they walked off down one of the junkyard's trails and the silver tabby watched them until they were out of sight.
As the two toms walked down one of the junkyard's trails that lead away from the clearing Old Deuteronomy tried to make small talk with Alonzo. The patched tom attempted to involve himself fully in their conversation but he was preoccupied with wondering why the leader had asked to talk to him alone. Truthfully, he had a pretty good idea but didn't really want to believe it as he hadn't a clue what he would say. After letting his mind wander for a little while he realised he had not been listening to the older tom and quickly forced himself to pay attention again.
"…well, that's what I think" said Old Deuteronomy finishing a point Alonzo had missed, "How about you?"
Alonzo felt like a moron for completely blanking what the leader had said and dithered for a few moments before relenting,
"I'm sorry, sir, I missed that. Would you say it again?"
"Your mind is elsewhere, isn't it?" said the old tom with a kind smile. Alonzo just nodded grimly
"Was it my eagerness that rocked you a little bit? I do hope not. I'm sorry if I said anything out of turn"
"No, sir, you didn't. It's just…well…oh, I don't know…" said Alonzo trailing off. He was just so frustrated by all of this.
"I suppose you're unsure about the idea of being a father"
Alonzo would have been amazed at the way Old Deuteronomy could figure any cat out in a split second but he'd seen it so many times before that by now it had just become a given. Instead he nodded and looked away feeling quite ashamed. Old Deuteronomy continued,
"Well, that's natural. I must say when it was my first time I had no idea what I was going to do. Gosh that was a long time ago…"
"You didn't know what to do?"
"Absolutely not"
"But…you're Old Deuteronomy, the greatest father there is"
"We all have to start somewhere" chuckled the old tom. Alonzo was finding it a little easier to talk to him now but he still had a little way to go.
"I just don't think I would be able to handle it. I mean, I know how to have fun and enjoy life to it's fullest but when it comes to being responsible – especially looking after a kitten – I just don't know if I could cut it"
"Why do you think that?"
Alonzo thought for a moment, "Because I feel like I'd do something so wrong that I might…well…let's just say Billy might not come out of it in one piece. How could I live with that?"
The patched tom felt a bit stupid when he heard the older tom laugh at what he had said.
"Alonzo I don't think there's anything you could do to get yourself into a situation as bad as that. You can learn to do anything if you set your mind to it and you know you won't be alone, don't you?"
"I know that. I think Munk will be much better at it than me"
"Oh, I don't think so…"
"Come on, he's always on the ball. He's so clever and knows exactly how to handle everything I can't think he'd make even a single mistake"
"I think he'll obsess too much and find he ties himself in knots"
Alonzo laughed. Old Deuteronomy knew his son just as well as he did,
"That does sound like him…"
"Indeed. But together I think you'll be wonderful parents. You balance each other so well that I don't think I could find two cats that would make better fathers"
"I don't know about that…"
"Well, I think given time you will. You just need to believe in yourself."
"I suppose. But still, what if I can't do it right? What if I frustrate Munk so much that he doesn't let me near Billy anymore?"
"Oh he won't do that. Despite how fussy he can be I think he's probably just as scared as you are on the inside and you'll need each other for support when you start out."
"It just seems like such a big task, though. I wonder how any parent can do it to be honest. Well, some parents. I didn't seem like you had any trouble with Munk and Tugger"
"Would you believe me if I told you it was one of the hardest things I've ever done?"
Alonzo looked at the older tom with mild surprise. "No, I don't think I would"
"Well, it was. Let me explain. I'm sure you remember a couple of Jellicle Balls ago Munkustrap and Rum Tum Tugger's mother Grizabella went up to Heaviside."
"Yes"
"Do you remember how glum and awkward Munkustrap was when he first saw her and how protective he was over the tribe?"
"Yes. I didn't really understand though. He never likes to talk about her"
"Well, I suppose you also remember that she wasn't around when he was growing up either. Shortly after Tugger was born she decided that she didn't want kittens and ran off to live the highlife. She left me to bring up these two very young kittens on my own all the while I was supposed to be leading the tribe. I had certainly raised kittens before but their mothers had always been there to care for them as well so it was nowhere near as hard as raising those two alone. Growing up was incredibly hard on both of them but I think Munkustrap suffered the most. He's a little older than Tugger so he had a short while of knowing her before she abandoned them"
"I think I remember." Said Alonzo trying to track back to when he and Munk had been very young
"Yes, well I don't think he ever recovered from losing his mother and when she appeared out of nowhere at that ball he put on a brave face. I know he so desperately wanted to know her throughout his life but she simply wasn't there."
"Sorry, sir, I don't mean to be rude what does this have to do with us being parents?"
"Well, I think it explains why Munkustrap jumped at the idea more than you did. I haven't asked him but I think he identifies with Billy since both of them lost their mothers and I reckon he wants to give him the love he never had as a kitten. That is the love of two parents instead of one."
"Oh…" breathed Alonzo. He hadn't known that at all and it put the whole situation in a new light. He hadn't known his mate had had any of those feelings but now he understood exactly why Munk had been so enthusiastic. Alonzo felt a little guilty now for behaving the way he had done. If Munk could get past years of pain over not having a mother then surely he could get past a few days of feeling unprepared to be a father.
Before he could respond Old Deuteronomy resumed,
"Anyway, raising them was very hard but somehow we all pulled through. I'm very grateful to you for being there for him when you were both growing up, you understand?"
"Me?"
"Yes, you. I don't think he would have come out anywhere nearly as strong had you not been there. I'd like to thank you for that, Alonzo. You are the one cat in this world that gives him the strength he needs"
The patched tom felt quite proud inside but also daunted. He had never supposed he had been the one supporting Munk all those years as it had always seemed the other way around. To hear that they had needed each other all their lives filled him with warmth that reminded him just how much he loved his mate and how much he was loved in return. Old Deuteronomy saw his dreamy smile and knew what he was saying was getting through.
"Now, Alonzo, I'm not going to force you into being a father; perish the thought. I had hoped it would be a good thing for both you and Munkustrap but I understand if you're not ready. I think in time you will realise just how good a father you would make for Billy but there's no use in rushing it. I promise you though, my boy, that if you decide to do it you will be doing a wonderful thing. To give a kitten another chance to be loved is a truly spectacular deed and the Everlasting Cat will smile down upon you for it. You would make a good parent, Alonzo, I'm sure of it."
Alonzo felt different now. The things Old Deuteronomy had told him made him see the situation in a completely different way and now the idea of being a father didn't seem so daunting. Could he say he actually liked the idea now? It felt as if he could. The way Old Deuteronomy had changed his perspective was utterly unfathomable but it seemed as if he felt glad that it had happened.
With a deep breath he looked straight at his leader. He summoned all his courage and in a firm, definite tone announced his new standpoint,
"You know what, sir? Considering what you've told me I think I might be ready"
"To be a father?"
"Yes."
Old Deuteronomy beamed with a twinkle in his eye. To hear his son's mate say he was ready to raise a kitten with him was music to his ears. Nothing more needed to be said and Old Deuteronomy opened his arms to the black and white tom. Alonzo – feeling a little light-headed from his admission – airily stepped into Old Deuteronomy's arms. He hugged the old tom tightly and smiled as he felt just how happy he'd made the leader and how happy he would make his mate.
A few moments later they parted and decided to return to the clearing.
Munk remained sitting alone on the tyre watching the clearing. He was becoming increasingly bored but also a little agitated. He really wanted to know what Old Deuteronomy was telling his mate and hoped he wouldn't say anything that might make Alonzo any more scared. He looked up into the big blue sky and stared at the clouds. He felt nostalgic as he remembered how he and Alonzo used to spend long summer afternoons when they were kittens watching the clouds and seeing all the different shapes. His mind began to wander and he thought how lovely it would be to do the same thing with Billy. If only Alonzo would come around…
His solitude was interrupted when Bomba plonked herself down next to him.
"What are you looking at?" she asked curiously
"Nothing" responded the tabby lowering his eyes to her, "What's up?"
"Nothing. You looked kind of lonely so I thought I'd come over and pester you"
"Thank you for the concern"
"Anytime. So what's on your mind?"
"Just Alonzo. Old Deuteronomy-"
"Don't you mean 'Dad'?" the queen asked slyly
"Fine. Dad took him off on a walk and I reckon he's talking to him about this whole adoption thing"
"Is that bad?"
"I'm not sure. I just hope he's not saying anything that'll make Alonzo even more apprehensive."
"Do you think he would?"
"Who knows?"
"Well, he usually fixes this sort of thing, right?"
Munk thought for a moment, "…I suppose"
"Then what're you worried about?"
"Well, I know how Alonzo can get when he's pressured"
"You think Old Deuteronomy would pressure him?"
"Not intentionally but I think he's quite excited to have a grandkitten"
"Doesn't he have any already?"
"Probably but I'm not really sure. I've never met any and he's never said anything but you know what he's like when it comes to kittens. He loves them."
"I know what you mean. He certainly seems to have taken quite a shine to Billy"
"Mmm…"
At that moment the pair looked over to the other side of the clearing and noticed the toms they were talking about re-enter. Alonzo helped the old tom that was with him as he went and Munk puzzled as he noticed how happy they both looked. He met his mate's eyes with reservation as he wondered why they both looked so joyful and thought about whether it was over what he assumed they had been talking about. He and Bomba rose as their leader approached the tyre and helped him up so he could sit.
"Nice walk?" asked the silver tabby quietly
Alonzo sat down next to him and smiled wisely. He responded to the question by taking his mate's head in his paws and kissing him. When they parted Alonzo whispered into his ear,
"I love you"
Munk loved to hear him say that but was still rather curious.
"I love you too" he replied, "So anyway, what did you to talk about?"
Alonzo looked at Old Deuteronomy who was smiling widely and gave the patched tom a nod. Alonzo took in a deep breath and turned to his mate,
"I've got something to tell you"
Munk raised an eyebrow before Alonzo continued,
"I think I'm ready"
Munk's hard expression softened slightly,
"For…Billy?"
Alonzo nodded gleefully and left Munk astounded. After a few moments of his mate looking stupefied Alonzo began to giggle,
"Are you alright?"
"Oh, darling!" said Munk and he jumped forward and kissed him. He was so happy to hear that and kept on kissing Alonzo sweetly. Alonzo ended up having to push him away he was so happy and hugged the tabby tightly as he expressed his joy.
"Everlasting Cat! We're going to be parents!" laughed Munk. While he was hugging Alonzo he looked across to his father and smiled at him. The old tom certainly had a way with words.
The toms parted a short while later and within seconds Bomba had jumped on them. It seemed perhaps that she was happier than both of them put together and cooed loudly over the two toms' new family.
A while later they rounded up their jubilation and set about making plans for what to do next. They talked together about how they would tell Billy and decided it would be better do it sooner rather than later. They eventually settled upon doing it that night and all of a sudden the mood changed. They had been so happy that they were about to start a new family but then they realised exactly what they had to tell the kitten first. How easy was it going to be to finally tell Billy his mother wasn't going to come back?
It wasn't long before the May evening sky was lit up like fire as the sun went down. Munk and Alonzo had sat with Bomba and Old Deuteronomy for the rest of the afternoon trying to decide how they were going tor break the news to Billy. Eventually Munk had stepped up and said he would tell the kitten and Alonzo had been grateful to him for taking the hardest part away. Munk felt uneasy, after all Billy had so much hope that the silver tabby was going to find his mother. The kitten had come to know him as the protector, that cat that could make everything alright again and Munk's heart felt heavy as he knew he would have to dash the kitten's hopes. He prayed that Billy wouldn't lose faith in him after he was told because how then could he possibly ask him if he would like to be adopted. That was another thing, how was he meant to actually ask the kitten if he wanted new parents? Would it be too much for the kitten to handle all at once?
Alonzo looked at his mate and noticed him looking into the sunset. He could see that his mind was elsewhere and that he had a look of anguish on his face so he took the tabby's arm and pulled him close. Munk didn't look down from the bright display in the sky as his mate snuggled up to him and neither one spoke as they huddled closely. They just sat there and comforted each other, after all they knew how hard the next few hours were going to be.
As the sun began to dip below the horizon the cats sitting on the big tyre noticed the kittens come into the clearing from somewhere else in the junkyard that they had been playing. Alonzo felt Munk go stiff as he looked over at the black and white kitten and hugged him tighter to let him know he was there for him. Munk gulped and felt his heartbeat grow swifter as the plan began to take shape. He turned his head to Alonzo and spoke very quietly,
"I don't know if I can manage this"
Alonzo nuzzled him and tried his best to comfort him,
"We have to do it, darling, we can't just let him go on thinking she'll come back"
"…Okay" said Munk sadly and with great difficulty forced himself to his paws. Alonzo rose with him and together they stepped down from the tyre and began to walk over to where the kittens were lying around. With every step both toms felt worse for having to do what they had decided and it became harder for each of them get closer to the kitten. If it hadn't been for each other they would certainly both have cracked from the strain.
Before they knew it they were standing at the edge of the group of kittens and Alonzo jabbed Munk lightly to bring him out of his worried daze. They both put on soft, mildly happy expressions before they began to speak to the kittens.
"Hello, kittens, good day?" said Alonzo as brightly as he could
The mesh of voices that arose from below them became incoherent as each kitten explained what they had gotten up to that day at the same time. The toms did their best to pay attention but in the end it proved quite superfluous as neither of them could make any sense from the joyful babbling that came from the group.
"Well, that's great" said Munk when he assumed they had all finished their tales, "Billy, would you come with us for a moment, please?"
"Why?" chirped the happy little tom. As Alonzo saw him pipe up he suddenly felt very uneasy and discreetly clung onto Munk. The silver tabby remained solid for the both of them and continued,
"There's just something we need to tell you"
"Can we come?" came some other young voices
"No, kits, we just need to talk to Billy"
"Please!" came the chorus
"No" said Munk firmly giving them the message that they had to remain outside. Billy looked very curious but felt quite proud to have been selected above all the other kittens to be told something important. He knew it must be something really good if they could tell only him. Happily he stepped forward and took Munk's paw giving the tabby such mixed feelings. It felt wonderful to feel connected to the kitten that he hoped would soon be his son but he also felt very uneasy for having to tell him what he had to. Alonzo stepped around to Billy's other side and together they slowly walked over to Munk and Alonzo's den. Billy was smiling all the way making both toms feel dreadful.
Crossing the threshold into their home was torturous and Alonzo felt as if he was going to crack. He took several deep breaths to try and centre himself but still felt quite unstable. He knew he wanted to be a father now but the means by which they had to get there were proving to be almost impossible. How were they possibly going to do this?
Munk closed his eyes and focused very hard on the task at hand. He was trying to slip into his 'protector' mindset but this situation proved to be a time when he simply couldn't sever the emotional ties. He felt so strongly for the little kitten whose paw he held and knew what he was about to say was going to crush him. All he could hope for was that Billy could come out the other side stronger.
Munk sat down on the bed and brought Billy up next to him. The kitten smiled up at him with wide eyes and Munk gritted his teeth as his heart was tugged upon. Alonzo sat down a few feet from the bed on a cushion and gave his mate a look as if to say 'I love you'. Munk took in a deep breath and finally addressed the kitten.
"Billy, there's something we've been meaning to tell you for a while but up until now we haven't found the right time. I'm afraid we have some bad news and we just want you to be prepared for it"
The black and white kitten looked over at Alonzo then back at Munk before responding, "I don't understand. Am I in trouble?"
"No, Billy, you're not in trouble. It's just it's very sad news and we want you to know this so you can be ready for it"
"What should I do?" asked the kitten quietly
"What do you mean?" asked Munk
"What should I do to be ready for it?"
"Well…just know that we're here for you and that we care for you an awful lot. Also remember that it's okay to be sad and that we'll do whatever it takes to help you get through"
"Through what?" asked the kitten confusedly. Munk looked across at his mate who looked incredibly nervous. He wasn't sure but it looked as if Alonzo was trying to stop himself from shaking. The silver tabby took another deep breath and looked back at the kitten.
"It's about your mum, Billy"
The kitten lit up instantly at the mention of his mother, "Have you found her? Is she here?"
"No, she's not." Before he could continue Billy interrupted,
"Can I see her soon? Tonight?" Munk felt his heart breaking and devoted all his strength to stopping himself from letting his emotion get the better of him.
"No, Billy. I'm afraid you can't see her again"
The kitten looked dumfounded and his big, blue eyes seemed to go even wider only this time with dismay.
"Why not? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you did nothing wrong. Just listen. Do you remember when Alonzo went missing?"
The kitten nodded
"Well, the cat that kidnapped him – you might remember he was called Macavity - did some awful things to him and that's why he has those marks on him. Now, when I went to rescue him I found out that before Alonzo was taken Macavity had taken your mum as well."
"Is she alright?" asked the kitten hopefully.
"I'm afraid not, Billy. You see, Macavity was so evil that he…well, he killed her"
The silence that followed was absolutely deafening. Munk looked down at the kitten before him who stared back with his mouth slightly open. He could see Billy was shocked and waited for a little while to see if he was going to say anything. When nothing came from him Munk spoke again,
"I'm sorry Billy. I wish there was something we could do to bring her back but I'm afraid we can't. Remember that we're here for you and we'll do whatever it takes to help you"
Billy looked down slightly into Munk's chest. He barely understood how what he had just been told could be true. It seemed impossible that his mother – the most important cat in the world – wasn't there anymore.
"She's dead?" he asked quietly
"Yes" replied Munk
As he slowly started to come to a realization both toms watched as the kitten started to shake. Munk stooped his head low to see Billy's face and what he saw practically ripped him to pieces on the inside. Tears were streaming from the poor kitten's eyes which became redder and redder with each moment that went by. His breathing became heavier and louder and with each breath the sound of sniffling grew more and more pronounced. The kitten's world was crashing down around him faster than he could cope with and he simply could not handle the idea that his mother was dead. He barely understood what dead meant and he felt empty over the fact that he would never again see the queen that he loved so much, the queen that had always made the world seem so wonderful, the queen that had been there for as long as he could remember. As the seconds ticked on he began to cry softly and the sound ripped through both of the toms. The cry wasn't like a sound they had ever heard come out of a kitten before. It was the sound of pure pain and neither of them could believe that a cat so young was capable of displaying such strife. The kitten slowly began to weep uncontrollably and Munk put his arms around him. He drew the kitten close to his body and Billy cried into his chest fur. The mild vibrations the protector felt radiate through him from the young kitten's wails was too much for him and he felt his own tears well up in his eyes. He bit his lip to prevent himself from making even the slightest sound of sadness as he knew he had to be strong for Billy. It was hard though as the emotion that filled him was becoming too much to contain. He hadn't felt so awful since he had been sitting with Alonzo on the riverbank after his fall all those weeks ago and the very feeling of the kitten's pain brought back all of those memories.
Alonzo had not been able to stay as strong as Munk and as soon as the kitten had buried his face into Munk's chest the patched tom put his paws to his face and cried silently into them. The sight of his mate imparting the terrible news and then the heart-wrenching reaction that had come from the stricken kitten was far too much for him. He had hoped he could handle it but knew now that he simply couldn't and sobbed with incredible sorrow into his paws. As he wiped his tears away from his eyes he glanced over at Munk who was rubbing Billy's back as he whimpered into his chest. The tabby looked awful and Alonzo could see he was right on the brink of falling apart. When their gazes met Munk pleaded with his eyes for something. He didn't know what it was but he pleaded nonetheless. Alonzo rose instantly and went over to the pair. As he sat down Billy looked up and noticed the tom who had come to join them. Right away he switched from crying into Munk to crying into Alonzo and the patched tom was taken by surprise at the sudden change. It was daunting and Alonzo looked up at his mate desperately wondering what to do. Munk just shuffled closer and put his big, strong arms around both of them. Together they gently rocked back and forth with Billy in between them as he continued to let out his sorrow. The toms let their tears run down their faces as they comforted the kitten and each other and they made sure to hold Billy very tightly as they rocked him.
It was a sad evening and one that would remain in their memories for a long time to come.
Neither Munk nor Alonzo knew how much time had passed as they stayed clutching each other with Billy between them. They had all been completely heartbroken and simply couldn't bear to pull away from the comfort they found in each other. After a while Billy had reduced his crying to quiet sobs and by now he had become silent. Munk had felt him go limp and lean heavily against him not long ago and assumed he must have fallen asleep from being so emotionally exhausted. The silver tabby had brought Alonzo's head onto his shoulder so his tom could feel closer. Alonzo had sobbed quietly along with Munk and they did their best to prevent Billy from seeing them go to pieces. They had wanted to be so strong for him but seeing him there with his young heart in tatters was enough to cut like a knife through any cat's solidarity.
As time went on Alonzo felt his eyes stinging quite badly from the tears that had fallen from them and he leant away from Munk and Billy so he could rub them. When he brought his paws away he slowly focused on the tiny kitten slumped against Munk and sleeping soundly. The silver tabby was looking down at him and gently rubbing the fur on his head eliciting a quiet but constant purr from the kitten. At least he was doing something to comfort him while he was sleeping; he did not relish the awful things that must have been going through Billy's head as he slept. Alonzo wanted to smile at the sight as it looked rather sweet. Even though it was the result of an awful revelation, now that everything was peaceful it seemed like maybe there was some hope.
"You two look so good together" said Alonzo croakily in near silence.
Munk looked up at him and attempted a weak smile.
"I don't think we should suggest adopting him yet. It's still too fresh for him"
Alonzo nodded, "What shall we do then?"
Munk looked back down at the sleeping kitten, "Let's give it a while. Maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks but not now. I just don't think he'll understand."
"You're right. As always you're right" said Alonzo dejectedly, "I feel so bad for him, Munk. When he started breaking down I just couldn't bear it"
The patched tom raised his paw to his mouth again to stop himself from cracking once more. Munk saw the sadness well up in his eyes and beckoned him over. Alonzo stood up and stepped forward. He bent down and kissed his mate quickly before whispering,
"I'm gonna get some air, is that okay?"
Munk nodded and returned his gaze to Billy. Alonzo didn't hang around, he turned and walked out of the den without waiting.
When he was outside in the cool, night air he took in several deep breaths and in some ways was glad to be out of the stuffy den. The mood was so sad in there and he had been desperate for a short respite. Unfortunately for him the feeling followed him out and still had him in it's clutches. Resigning to it Alonzo plodded across the clearing as he tried to clear his head and after a moment he looked up to see Bomba sitting alone on the big tyre. Alonzo looked around and saw she was the only one left in the clearing and instantly knew she must have been waiting there to see how it went.
When Alonzo made eye contact with her she rose and began to climb down and greet him. She quickly padded over with an expectant look on her face, a look which was switched for one of concern when she saw how rough the patched tom looked. Timidly, she asked the question,
"How did it go?"
Alonzo opened his mouth to speak but sharply closed it when he felt the sadness of the night threaten to jump out. Instead he stepped forward and put his arms around her. Bomba was confused but she responded with the same gesture. A moment or two later Alonzo whispered,
"We never got as far as suggesting we adopt him, he was just so sad after we told him his mother was dead"
With that Alonzo began to rack with sobs again and Bomba began to feel his heartbreak. She too had hoped things could have gone more smoothly but she also knew they lived in the real world. Nothing ever went as smoothly as it could as she stayed holding Alonzo while he let out more of his strife.
"How could it happen, Bomba? How could it be that one cat could inflict so much pain on our tribe?"
Bomba gripped him tighter when she listened to his painful question about Macavity. The evil tom had certainly caused plenty of trouble in the past but the fact that he was still hurting them from beyond the grave was truly a testament to how wicked he really was.
"It'll be okay, 'Lonz. Somehow we'll work through this"
Alonzo just stayed in her embrace feeling very sad. He really wished he knew how to make this right.
Back in the den Munk was still holding Billy and watching him sleep silently. Every now and then the kitten's face would scrunch up and he would look incredibly pained. Munk just did what was instinctive and held him tighter. He would whisper very softly as well and for some unknown reason it seemed to work making Billy go back to being peaceful.
Munk held him that way long into the night and long after Alonzo had returned and curled up beside them as well. The silver tabby couldn't bear to sleep when he knew there was such a fragile member of the tribe needing care. That was Munk through and through: he would always be looking out for the welfare of the Jellicles and Billy was now undoubtedly a Jellicle. It might have been viewed as a shame that it was under such circumstances but Munk didn't care. He was glad that they had found Billy that night so many months ago, after all anything could have happened to him if they hadn't. He felt now that the Everlasting Cat must have brought them together and even though he felt such sorrow he was happy that Billy had been brought to them and he would do anything to make sure the kitten was happy from now on.
It was dawn before the tabby finally lay Billy down on the bed next to Alonzo and curled up beside him. The three of them slept close together keeping each other warm through the rest of the tragic night.
Poor little Billy; how horrible it is for a child to loose his mother.
Thanks for reading, next chapter I'm sure will not take as long for me to write.
Reviews are greatly appreciated and thank you so much to my regular reviewers. You guys keep me writing. x