A Random Random Story of Randomness

By: Foxy18

Ch. 3

"But I gotta go . . . Really badly!" Armstrong whined from the back seat of the gang's pimp mobile.

"No." Mustang said authoritatively. "You had your chance to piss 5 miles ago." He tapped his long, slender and effeminate fingers on the driving wheel.

"I'm hungry!" Winry exclaimed.

"Oh, you would be, Winry. You would be . . ." Ed glared.

Winry punched Al in the face for Ed's witty remark.

"Are we there yet?" Said Fury. The right part of his body had become fully numb from Armstrong sitting on his lap.

"I'm gonna pee in your mouth and shit in your face if you don't pull this god damn purple pimp mobile over right now, you little pony!" Armstrong ordered in that seductive accent of his. "You're no mustang! You're just a dirty little whore liar pony!"

"Your mom's a dirty little whore liar pony! Oh, SNAP!" Mustang retaliated.

Riza guffawed, but not in a slightly humorous, endearing sort of manner. No . . . no, this was rather sad.

"How do you know Mustang wouldn't like being shat on?" Al said, bitter and suspicious, blood spurting out of his now ruptured nostrils in great red rivers.

"Oh, SNAP!" Miroku chimed in.

Ed slapped Al in the face. "Roy! Al keeps touching me!"

"Stop touching your brother, Al."

"He slapped me!" Al cried crimson Emo tears . . . Twice . . . And it got all mixtury-like with his nose blood, the blood of his nose.

"You started it!" Ed screamed, but slowly his pupils dilated and clouded over. "With that silky smooth, hot little boy body of yours . . . All muscular and creamy."

Mustang clenched his teeth. "Don't make me come back there, you two!"

"Or what? You'll rape my dog and eat out my grandmother during the dark cover of night?" Ed snapped. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, you sick bastard!"

"Don't make me COME back there, you two!" The colonel blinked. He still couldn't forget that homo-erotic make out scene in the first chapter. He sighed dreamily.

THUMP THUMP!

"The hell? Was that you, Armstrong?" Roy asked inquisitively.

"No, my dear lady. I think your ZOMG MAD DRVNG SKLLZ LAWLS hit something, or rather . . . SOMEONE! DUN DUN DUN!1"

"Oh, SNAP!" Miroku exclaimed . . . Again.

Fury's eyes lit up with panic. "Keep drivin' man! You know what'll happen if my parole officer finds out about this! Six years in prison, man! Six years!" He began hyperventilating.

"No can do, compadre." Mustang informed his fearful friend. "We must turn back."

Fury swiftly crapped his pants. "I can't go back there, again! Bubba's waiting for me back there, in prison, cell 372! It'll be our 12th prison-marriage anniversary this year. I told you about those anniversaries, didn't I? DIDN"T I?"

They turned back.

"Miroku," Mustang began. "You go out and see who it was who PURPOSFULLY RAN IN THE DIRECTION OF THE FRONT OF MY PIMP MOBILE! That's right. YOU ALL SAW IT. SHE HIT MY CAR ON PURPOSE!"

Winry was eating her belt buckle. "How do you know it's a girl?"

"CUZ I HAVE THE TITTY SENSORZ!"

"Sounds nice . . ." Al said politely.

Armstrong pissed on Fury.

"Nice excrement and urine cocktail you got going over there, guys!" Riza plugged her nose.

Fin:

Find out who the gang hit in Chapter Four! Tomorrow!